Make Me Believe
by Lost In Fanfiction
Summary: Can Bella and Edward help each other believe in love, that they deserve love? Or have the trials and tragedies of life made this impossible? A story of misunderstandings, friendship, tragedy, perseverance and love. All human, canon pairings, HEA, Sexy times, Virginward.
1. Chapter 1

**Make Me Believe- ****Can Bella and Edward help each other believe in love, that they deserve love? Or have the trials and tragedies of life made this impossible? A story of misunderstandings, friendship, tragedy, perseverance and love. All human, canon pairings, HEA, Sexy times, Virginward.**

**This story is a reworked, beta'd, upgraded version of Unworthy and Unbelievable. I hope you give it a try.**

**Beta'd by cejsmom**

**Banner by Ana Fluttersby**

**Bella's chapters are odd**  
**Edward's are even**

**Chapter 1**  
**BPOV**

Today is Saturday, I didn't need to wake up at a certain time, but my new furry alarm clock, Buddy, lets me know when it's time for us to get up, by licking my face. I never thought I'd be a dog owner, let alone talk to an animal, but I find myself asking Buddy questions like I expect him to answer. I started this morning by asking him, "What should we do today?" I have a lot of simple errands to run in order to get ready for my trip on Monday; it's only fair that I spend some quality time with my new friend before I leave him for a few weeks.

We decide on a leisurely walk to breakfast. I live in a beach community in California called Laguna Beach, where multimillion dollar homes dot the cliffs directly above the ocean and more modest homes on the hills above the busy Pacific Coast Highway. I live in a modest cottage on a quiet street on the hill with a distant view of the ocean from my porch. My house is small, built in the 30's, cute, clean and paid for.

Today we walk down to PCH and go to the La Push Cafe. The owner, Jacob, who's also my neighbor, has become a friend and an unfortunate admirer of mine. He's been flirting with me for months, but I've let him know my view on relationships. Admittedly, I enjoy the attention, but sometimes I feel like I'm encouraging him. He wants to find the right woman and settle down. His business is thriving and he says the perfect woman is all that is missing in his life. He tells me frequently that I fit the criteria very well. His cafe is known for having the best waffles in Laguna: all shapes, sizes and toppings, almost like a breakfast sundae. My mouth waters just thinking about them.

It's a beautiful day, 76 seventy six degrees, light breeze and sunny, no June gloom today. Breakfast is fantastic as usual. I decide on the healthy yogurt, fruit and granola waffles. Jacob, can even make fiber taste good. I tell him exactly that when he joins Buddy and I at our patio table. "These waffles are amazing as always, Jacob."

"Bella, you'd look good eating any of my waffles," Jacob says with a shy smile as he reaches down and pats Buddy on the head. I can't help but roll my eyes. "Any response to the ads and signs about him?" he asks

I shake my head, "No, not a single call. It's been two weeks since he wandered in here and I'm kinda attached to him now. He makes a good roommate too," I muse.

As I enjoy my breakfast I notice that the girls that work for Jacob, fawn all over him, which he seems oblivious to. Instead, he stops and chats with me any chance he gets. His overt attention makes me a little uncomfortable for a number of reasons.

It's so lovely out that I want to walk down to the ocean, but dogs aren't are not allowed on the beaches in Laguna. I tried it once, and of course it wasn't a cute lifeguard that reprimanded me, but a snotty, shirtless, sixty something year old man, hollering from his million dollar balcony. He yelled that he didn't like my dog relieving himself in his 'front yard,' referring to the sand. It's actually public property, but I know the rules, so no walk on the beach today.

Always the wrong man. It's the story of my life. I've learned to accept that they've all been wrong so far, some painfully wrong. I'm only twenty four and I've decided that my life is fine without a man, they just complicate things. I have my man anyway, his name's, Buddy.

As we walk home I remember hearing about a dog beach not far from here. I google the area and find Huntington Dog Beach, only a twenty minute drive or so, depending on beach traffic. Thinking it could be fun, I pack us some snacks, drinks, a book, sunscreen and umbrella. I throw on some shorts and a tank top and off we go.

The beach is long, with large rocks scattered on the narrow strip of white sand at the base of sandy cliffs. The cliffs are just high enough to prevent the dogs from escaping the beach and getting too close to the very busy, fast moving traffic on PCH.

Dogs of all sizes are running loose, jumping, playing and swimming. The humans are definitely outnumbered.

Buddy and I settle down on a nice spot, just back from the water and observe the area. I get us all set up; pop open the umbrella, spread out my towel and a blanket for Buddy, beside his little bowl of water. Once he is all settled I place my cooler close by and open my book and a bag of chips . We survey the dog population to see if Buddy going off-leash is a good idea. My main concern is the squirrels who dwell in the cliffs behind us. He went crazy when he spotted them as we were walking down the path to the beach; him chasing squirrels would not be a good thing.

**A/N**

**What do you think so far?**

**You will meet Edward in the next chapter.**

**This story is written all the way up to chapter 35. The chapters are shortish 1000-3000 words. I will be updated three times a week as I write the last few chapters. That way there will be no delay in posting.**

**Thanks for reading and telling me what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Beta'd by cejsmom**

**Chapter 2**

**EPOV**

I began taking photos as a hobby when I was a teenager. I started by photographing my friends surfing at the beach. That morphed into scantily clad girls on the beach, swim suit models. I didn't go looking for these girls/models, they found me. Word of mouth I guess. Now I'm in my home studio photographing models, mainly female. Another Saturday morning, and I'm staring down the lens at a beautiful, not even half dressed model.

"Why aren't you a model too, you certainly have the look," my current client, Jessica, inquirers. I'm used to this question. I am frequently asked to remove my shirt and other articles of clothing and join them in their photos. They know I won't, it's a running joke among them to see who can get me to remove my shirt... or more.

They think they will like what's under my clothing, which is partially true. I'm not sure if it's my photos or my mystique that keeps them coming back, but they do and they tell their friends. I've unintentionally built quite a business for myself.

Jessica leaves and I move to my computer. My desk looks out the main window in my spacious upstairs apartment. I have a distant ocean view, scanning over the deserted wet lands, but the ocean breeze is what draws me to this location in the house. Day or night, hot or cold, the cool, salty breeze is always there. It is probably my favorite thing about living by the beach in Southern California.

I download the photos... pretty good if I do say so myself. To any other twenty eight year old man these might be considered porn, but not to me. I have a rule to never lust after my clients, while photographing them or editing their photos. Sometimes this takes some planning on my part. I never go into a shoot with a beautiful, almost naked woman, with a loaded gun, so to speak. I learned this early on. It's very hard to focus on the art of photography when I'm fantasizing about the subject.

I do enjoy looking at the female body. Recently, a Victoria Secret catalog was delivered to my house by mistake. I love those kinds of mistakes. This ogling is okay, I didn't and don't work with any of these girls. VS does a good job with a variety of girls, dressed seductively. I prefer the less obvious and less voluptuous girl next door type. I think I wore that catalog out. Being decidedly single requires that I take matters into my own hands... frequently.

The remainder of my day is devoted to my children... my dogs. Most Saturdays or Sundays we head down to the local dog beach. This is by far their favorite place. Today I am bringing four of my dogs, all mixed breeds of various sizes. We load into my jeep, toys, dog treats and camera in hand. I always bring my camera to snap photos of dogs at play, as well as the ocean and surfers.

It's not often the weather in June is this good, sunny, mid-seventies, slight breeze. As usual on the weekends, the beach is packed. Humans are outnumbered by dogs. I drop my stuff back by the bluffs, otherwise it will get trampled, chewed and/or eaten.

I've been drawn to the ocean ever since I moved here as a child. I love the way the sun warms my skin. I'm fair skinned, but I tan easily. I work hard on my upper body. Keeping it fit and muscular, it's all I have to offer. I always find comfort in the repetitive noise of the ocean, almost blocking out all other sounds. Someday I want to live on the beach like my parents, so I can go to sleep to that calming sound every night.

Going to the beach also lets me enjoy women of all shapes and sizes from a distance. I've never been comfortable with women socially. When I'm the photographer it's different. I'm looking at them through my lens, not face to face. Here I am safe to people watch, get some sun and play with my dogs. Everyone wins.

I spend my time throwing balls, frisbees, sticks, handing out treats to my dogs and all the others who approach. There are many familiar faces, both dog and human. You get to know the other hard core dog owners spending the weekends here.

It's also painfully obvious when you see a "virgin" at the dog beach. I see one just to my left; a pretty, young lady, who's with a timid looking Jack Russel mix. She has him on a leash. The worst part about being a virgin here is sitting too close to the water. She and her wire haired little dog are very likely going to get trampled.

**A/N **

**Hmmm... who could Edward have spotted on the beach? **

**I know it's short, but you can expect updates about every other day. Be prepared for a slow burn with some serious UST.**

**Thank you to everyone who has added this story :)**

**I will include some rec's with my next chapter.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Beta'd by cejsmom~thanks :)**

**Let's see how their meeting goes...**

**Chapter 3**

**BPOV**

The sheer number of people and dogs at the dog beach is intimidating Buddy and I try to relax and settle in. I generously apply coconut smelling sunscreen, I love the warmth of the sun on my skin, but I am painfully fair and burn easily. When I made the move from the rainiest place in the US, Forks Washington, I embraced all things beach like. It reminds me of freedom, relaxation, sun and warmth.

I notice how close the dogs come to my towel as the scamper on the beach. Some of the dogs play fight, which scares both Buddy and I. There is a guy near me throwing balls into the ocean and a handful of dogs are retrieving them. They can't all be his. I know the lots of property you get in these beach communities, very little. He must be a dog walker. He seems young, about my age, maybe slightly older.

What I notice most about him is his defined chest and abs. I am enjoying the view very much as he throws the toys for the dogs. His long board shorts hang low on his hips; his ass is just round enough to hold them up perfectly. I bet he has some nice legs.

I'm getting a really nice mental image of him, glistening with sweat when I'm assaulted with sand, everywhere; in my mouth, eyes, hair. I was so into my fantasy that I didn't see it coming and had no time to blink. I'm temporarily blinded with gritty, burning eyes as I spit out sand in all directions. I grope for a bottle of water in my cooler, to rinse my eyes and mouth. I grasp the bottle of water and start generously splashing it on my face and in my eyes.

"Oh, it stings, shit," I yell. I accidentally grabbed the green tea bottle instead of water. I still can't open my eyes and I'm getting pissed. I know some irresponsible dog owner is the cause of this; someone's not supervising their wild animal. "Damn disrespectful people. Shit, it hurts".

"Can I help you," I jump, turning towards the voice, I didn't see him coming either. My vision is impaired, but I can hear a hint of amusement in his smooth voice which doesn't help my temper at all.

"No, I'll be fine in a minute," I huff.

"Okay," the smooth, almost sexy voice says. I finally grasp the water bottle and start rinsing my eyes and mouth. I'm hoping that wasn't the cute guy with the amazing abs. I'm a mess and I bet it's one of his mutts that did this to me.

For what seems like a half an hour I try to remove the sand from my orifices and various areas of my body. Once I can finally see again, I'm sticky, my clothes are soaked, and Buddy is nowhere to be found. I jump up and quickly scan the beach in all directions.

"Buddy, Buddy," I call. But I can't see him anywhere. My first thought is the tide, no Buddy hates water. I do know that about my new dog.

"Shit, the squirrels." In a panic I sprint for the bluffs. "Buddy, Buddy." I don't see him anywhere and I don't know how well he climbs. "Buddy," I continue to call. The cliffs are too high for a human to climb and span the length of the beach. We're too far from the path that leads to the parking lot for him to have escaped... I think.

Taking a deep breath I turn around to scan the beach again. There he is, playfully jumping for treats from guess who, cute abb guy. Now I'm really pissed. He lured my dog away when I was injured and didn't have the decency to say anything?

I stomp up behind him, if it's possible to stomp in the dry sand. "Why did you take my dog?" I yell. The ass doesn't even acknowledge me. He just keeps handing out treats and tossing balls. Nice bod or not, he's so rude and pissing me off more by the second. I clear my throat as I scoop up Buddy and angrily step in front of him attempting to block his view of the ocean. He has the most infuriating smirk on his face as he scans up and down my wet, sticky, sandy body. He shakes his head in disgust. His look makes me feel like a guilty child, who just messed up her new clothes.

"Your dog came over here, I think he was bored with your little set up," dismissively waving his hand in the direction of my stuff. He's an ass all right and pretty cocky for a dog walker.

"What makes you such a dog expert? You don't know anything about my dog," I say between clenched teeth. This is a ridiculous statement because I barely know my dog, but he doesn't know this. He steps to the side and continues playing fetch with his dogs and doesn't say another word. I stand there briefly realizing I've been dismissed. I quickly turn and try to walk back to my towel with some dignity.

My attempt fades away quickly when I get a look at my stuff. The cooler is dumped over, all that remains is a pile of torn up trash. My towel is covered in sand, my bag is emptied and it's contents strewn all over the beach, and my umbrella is dislodged and laying on the sand.

I reluctantly pack up what's left of my things. I've had enough of this place. Before I leave I briefly glance in the direction of my assailant and his gang of mutts. He is snapping photos of the ocean with what appears to be a very expensive camera. He looks in my direction, smiles and holds up his camera and waves it. What in the hell does that mean?

**A/N**

**What do they say about first impressions?**

**We know what Bella thinks about Edward, but what do you think Edward is thinking about Bella right about now?**

**I'd love to hear your thoughts :)**

**Rec time~**

**Drumsticks and Penalty Kicks by Les16 (just completed)**

** Letters to Corporal Masen by solostintwilight**

**Unfolding by Harperpitt**

**Because Of A Boy by cutestkidsmom**

**When You Least Expect It by Kare831**

** Nobody's Little Girl by from HelloElla**

**The rest are all WIP's. Next chapter I will rec some completed stories :)**


	4. Chapter 4

**Beta'd by cejsmom**

**Chapter 4 **

**EPOV**

Oh, this is entertaining. I'm witnessing little miss perfect, not even in a swimsuit, with her elaborate beach setup, and lap dog getting sideswiped by an exuberant lab chasing a ball. I am so glad it isn't one of my dogs. I get my camera and start snapping. She's making a priceless face, a look of horror mixed with discomfort while she sputters in all directions. She appears to be hunting for something in her cooler, obviously unable to see, with her eyes squinted tightly closed. Just as she starts rinsing her eyes and face, she flinches and starts waving her hands in front of her face like she just ate something hot.

I put the camera down and walk towards her thinking I should probably be nice and see if she could use some help. As I get closer I can hear her cursing, she reminds me of an angry kitten. This is unexpected; she doesn't look like the cursing type.

I offer my help but she shuts me down, almost rudely; so much for being nice to the pretty dog beach virgin. Shrugging my shoulders I walk back to my animals. Surprisingly, her timid little lap dog follows me, dragging his leash behind him. I look in her direction and she still looks all worked up, red faced, fumbling with her cooler. I'll take her dog back over to her when she can see again and has herself together.

My dogs scatter and start playing again. Her dog sticks close by me, he seems to really enjoy these organic dog treats I made. I throw the frisbee one more time and check to see if the virgin is done fussing, but she's not there.

Then I hear her, "Buddy, Buddy." Buddy... how creative.

I glance back and see her searching the bluffs. Buddy is with me in plain sight, her eyes must still be full of sand; just thinking about the looks on her face makes me chuckle out loud.

"Why did you take my dog?" A hostile female voice asks from behind me.

I can't answer because I know if I open my mouth I'll burst out laughing. I keep my focus on the dogs, really trying hard not to crack a smile. She steps right in front of me trying to look all fierce. She doesn't even come up to my shoulders; she's pale, slender and really a mess. She has dried sand in her hair, around her eyes, nose, and mouth. Her clothes are splattered with water and sand, which has turned into mud from her attempt at rubbing it off. I look up and down her body, pleasantly surprised. Her legs are long in short jean shorts, she is fit, with really nice legs. She smells of coconut.

I glance at her face briefly, but her eyes are just too intense. I internally shake my head at the absurdity of this whole situation. We banter back and forth until she angrily stomps off towards her belongings, which are now strewn all over the beach. The whole situation is funny, but man she's intense. She's either a real bitch or I caught her on a bad day.

When I notice she is packing up to leave, I almost feel disappointed.

I snap a few more shots of her hastily gathering her stuff. She has a nice butt too, I think I got one of her bending over, oops. Before she walks off she glances in my direction. I have to do something to acknowledge her, I guess I may have made her day more difficult, so I smile, raise my camera and subtly wave it: another priceless expression; shock, concern, anger, and more angry kitten. I haven't laughed this much in days, I hate that it is at someone else's expense, but I'll never see her again.

**A/N**

**Sorry this was a short one. (every other day updates)**

**We have some dislike for Edward. Stick with me. He's not a bastard manwhore. I swear.**

**It appears he has photos of Bella... what is he going to do with them?**

**Complete fics**

Indecent Proposal from pattyrose

The Object of My Obsession from cosmogirl7481

Close Your Eyes from Cara No

Fixing Bella, from CullensTwiMistress

Big Rig by Kitkat681

No Ordinary Proposal by twilover76


	5. Chapter 5

**You all know Ms. Meyer owns these characters. I just get to play with them.**

**Beta'd by cejsmom~ who I get to meet in person in about 10 days!**

**Chapter 5**

**BPOV**

What the hell? What an arrogant bastard and apparently a pervert too, ewww. I mean he's cute, more than cute actually. Up close he's gorgeous; taller than I thought, strong jaw, just a touch of scruffiness, nice mouth and some amazing green eyes. And those abs, I really wanted to touch them, or punch them.

I don't know why he got under my skin? I guess I was more out of my element today than I expected. My thoughts go back to his eyes. They were bright with amusement, at my expense, but he never made eye contact. I wanted so badly to make sure he knew how angry I was and he wouldn't even look at my face, pervert.

I take a quick glance in the mirror before getting in the shower and groan. I look so much worse than I thought. I've got sand in the corners of my eyes, stuck to my face, in my nostrils and the sand in my hair looks like a bad case of dandruff.

Great, nothing like a good first impression. Well, I'm never going back there again, that was a disaster. And I'll certainly never see cute ab guy with the distant green eyes. I don't know how I feel about that.

The warmth of the shower helps to wash off the humiliation, anger and sticky sand from my day at the beach. Closing my eyes in an attempt to relax, all I can see is him. His fair, smooth skin, stretched tightly over his defined muscles. I don't know which I enjoyed looking at better, his front or his back side? His windblown, messy hair or his eyes. His eyes had so much nameless emotion in them; the eyes that avoided my face so obviously.

I purposely turn the cold water on more strongly. I don't like the direction my mind and body are going in. He's attractive, no doubt, but obviously aloof, arrogant and not a good place to be putting my focus. I've got packing to do.

**A/N**

**What should Bella do about her attraction to cute ab guy? What can she do?**

**People still aren't feeling the love for Edward. You will, you will...**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing.**

**Donations Extended Through Nov 1st | StandUp4Katalina katalina . fandomcause . info With so much interest in the compilation, the donation period has been extended. **

**So many amazing authors donated stories to this. Check it out.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Happy Halloween!**

**Beta'd by cejsmom- who discussed with me how my chapters get longer as I go.**

**All previous chapters pre-read by Twi-mom 12292005**

**Chapter 6**

**EPOV**

Back home with the dogs settled, I begin to download today's photos and they're more interesting than I thought. Dog beach virgin is very photogenic. The contrast with her dark hair, dark eyes and light skin are very appealing. She's the girl next door, just my type.

Some of the photos are hysterical, blackmail type photos, others are really beautiful. I almost wish I could send some of them to her. It might make her disaster of a day seem not so bad. Impossible, I can't imagine she'll visit our dog beach again and I know nothing about her.

The weekend continues to be beautiful, perfect weather. The dogs and I hit the dog beach again on Sunday and I find myself looking for the virgin, which is foolish for many reasons. I'm pretty sure she wouldn't be looking for me even if she was here, except maybe to curse me out.

The Cullen's have a ritual on Sundays. We always have family dinner at my parent's beachfront house in a gated community in Laguna Beach. My dad, Carlisle, is a cardiologist at a prominent hospital here in Orange County. My mom, Esme, is a Fundraising Coordinator for a few foundations. Both of them are amazingly generous and giving people. My sister, Alice, and I have been taught to give back to the community so we always attend the events my mom hosts, and sometimes volunteer our time or expertise in the process. Alice always has her hand in the decorating, especially for the bigger events.

These charity events are usually painless unless my parents and their friends decide to fix me up with someone. Unfortunately this is happening more frequently. Apparently my biological clock is ticking. I'm only twenty eight, but this, especially for my mom, has triggered a sense of urgency to pair me off. I've tried to explain to them how unimportant finding a spouse is to me. I don't go into details, they'd never understand. They can't fathom why I wouldn't want a partner to share my life with. They have been happily married for over thirty years, and by happily I mean way too much PDA for my liking. I'm sure the topic of the possibility of me being gay has been addressed many times.

Alice is my saving grace when my single status is focused on. She's tiny, but energetic, strong, witty, fun and speaks her mind. She understands my position on relationships better than anyone, but I have secrets even from her. She's not always around to save me though. Her career in the fashion industry has really taken off and she travels a lot, especially to Europe.

**A/N**

**He went back to look for her... kind of. Feeling any love for Edward yet?**

**Hmmm, he has secrets...**

**Thanks for reviewing. I really do love reading them :)**


	7. Chapter 7

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Chapter 7**

**BPOV**

Monday I leave for Italy for a couple of weeks. I'm a writer and I love to travel and through some connections I have managed to merge the two into a career; I'm a travel writer. I travel to an area, stay a few weeks, learn from the locals and then write about the region from their perspective. My articles are published in many travel magazines and recently I was approached to write a book, a compilation of my past articles. Although a book deal is a great opportunity, it seems rather ominous right now. It will take some research and organization of my past works to do the idea of a book justice. Working on the book will also prevent me from traveling and writing new articles. I'm not sure I want to give that up yet.

I really enjoy what I do. It gives me freedom to see the world, learn about different cultures and express myself through words. I've seen some beautiful places and met some amazing people. Learning about the different regions in Italy has been the most interesting for me. The food itself is enough to keep me going back.

When Buddy wandered into Jake's cafe a few weeks ago, I agreed to take him on one condition. So, per our agreement, Jacob will to take care of Buddy when I'm traveling. However, when Jacob is at the cafe, our recently widowed, elderly neighbor, Angela, has agreed to take him.

Jacob and I live on the same street, only a few houses apart. Angela's house is between ours. She's very lonely without her husband and she and Buddy have seemed to bond. He is good for her. He keeps her company and entertains her. As long as he doesn't get too excited and chew up her house, they should do just fine while I'm gone.

Although I know Jacob and Angela will take good care of Buddy, my concern when I'm gone is that his owners will come to claim him and I'll never get to say goodbye or see him again. Jake and I have put up signs and I've placed ads on Craigslist; no one has even called yet to inquire about him. The longer he's with me, the more attached I become. I would be heartbroken to come home and find he's been claimed by his real owners.

Thankfully, the rest of my weekend is less eventful than my experience at the dog beach. I cringe at the thought of how I looked when I returned from the beach that day. The memories are anything but pleasant, yet I find myself thinking about it frequently. Or more specifically, thinking about him, cute abs guy. The no eye contact, dog walking, smirky, hot guy with the camera.

Maybe getting out of town is just what I need to clear my head of these thoughts. Why put any thought into it at all. I have no chance of ever seeing him again, and I don't know if I want to anyway.

**A/N**

**She is thinking about him too...**

**Who, if anyone, will come and claim Buddy?  
**

**The next two weeks are going to be nuts. The chapters are written and beta'd and I will upload them in advance and post on schedule. I will be reading every single review, but may not be able to respond. In case you're wondering, I'm going to the BD2 premiere in LA, along with some other fun LA events leading up to this.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by twi-mom12292005**

**Chapter 8**

**EPOV**

Photography, editing, surfing, dogs, working out, family dinners, dogs, over and over again. My life is pretty predictable and uncomplicated. I'm also not much for going out at night. My friends and I mainly hang out in the day time at the beach, working out, whatever.

My two closest friends, Emmett and Jasper, are great guys. Emmett is a gentle giant; tall, big, muscular, but a stand-up guy. He'd do anything for anyone. Jasper is tall, blond, soft spoken, but very intuitive. He always says or does the right thing to make people feel better.

I've known Emmet for most of my life here in the U.S., we grew up together. I recently met Jasper through Emmett, but I immediately liked him and his calm, easy going way. These two are the kind of guys you can bring home to have dinner with your family, and I do, Emmett is the only one who has been able to so far. Emmett and his girlfriend, Rose, frequently come to the Cullen Sunday dinners. Rose and Alice have become good friends because of this. Two strong-willed, opinionated woman, lord help us all when they're together. Jasper has been too busy, but I hope he will join us soon.

Both Emmett and Jasper are very successful in their respective careers. Emmett started his own construction company right out of high school; things are going so well that he barely works at all. As he often says. "The company practically runs itself". Jasper is an attorney. He is a corporate attorney and handles personal cases. Emmett hired him for a legal problem he was having, and they've been trusted friends ever since. I have retained him myself recently due to some legal issues with one of my neighbors.

They're both single, I mean not married. Emmett's been with Rosalie, for years. She is beautiful, tall, blonde and perfect for Emmett, but she can be a real bitch. She doesn't take crap from anyone, especially him, and is fiercely protective of all of us. She's a good one to have on your side. They live together in the huge house that Emmett built in Newport Beach, just south of where I live. Emmett has asked Rosalie to marry him, but she is not convinced that he is ready to settle down. I think they're perfect together, I think they could only stand living with each other.

Jasper has had a few serious, long-term relationships, but none that were heading anywhere. He's been terribly hurt by some of these women as most of them were not faithful. He often gets told that, "You're too nice," comment. I don't get that, too nice, is that possible? Jasper is on a break from women right now, so he and I understand each other. I'm sure that won't last for long, he likes being in a relationship too much. And he is amazingly smooth with the woman. It's fun to watch him work his magic on those rare nights we do go out.

I'm glad he's single right now as I need his full attention on my current legal issue. The owner of the neighboring industrial complex, Victoria Volturi, is suing me over excessive noise. This is ridiculous for several reasons; no one lives in her buildings, they are only occupied during the day, and there are two large parking lots with lots of land separating our buildings. When I was looking for property I took all of these things into consideration. I actually purchased this land and built on it, with Emmett's help. I tried to make a generous noise buffer zone around my building because I knew we would be noisy. I was already here and established when they built their industrial complex too close to my property. Yet, I'm being sued.

Victoria has visited me in person more than once and suggested, practically demonstrated how I could make these legal issues go away. She wants sex; she wants me in particular as I am a challenge to her, a conquest. The more I seem disinterested, the more interesting I am to her. I can't win. Don't get me wrong, Victoria, is a beautiful woman, early forties, reddish hair, a very curvy body that won't quit. She even went as far as hiring me to photograph her. Put it this way, I saw way more of Victoria that day than I ever wanted to. That overt sexuality is a real turnoff to me. I can't be bought or sold or whatever, so my legal issues continue.

My calm, comfortable life continues as usual, except for one thing, my mind keeps going back to the girl at the beach, the virgin. I find myself looking at her photos on my computer, looking for her when I go to the beach. Most annoying is thinking about touching her, her smell and dreaming about her. It's like she is in my head. I met her once, she provided some entertainment, we barely talked, yet I still think about her. My brain keeps telling me she is a "safe crush," unreachable. My heart says, maybe I'll see her again. Either way I wish she'd get out of my head and my dreams.

**A/N**

**A bit of back story, an introduction of the boys, and another snippet into Edward's head.**

**What do you think? Why is he noisy?**

**Saw On The Road. It was great! KS was amazing!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Chapter 9**  
**BPOV**

My two weeks in Italy were amazing although I feel like I gained about ten pounds from over indulging on rich, Italian cuisine. I did do my share of walking and sightseeing, but the balance of calories in and calories out was way off. I met some wonderful people, mostly locals and a few from here in the States. One girl, about my age, who I clicked with immediately, happens to live not far from me. We plan to do lunch sometime soon.

Being home means that now the real work starts, the writing. I'm surprised at how much I missed Buddy, I've become more attached to that little dog than I imagined.

I have mixed emotions about coming home. I can't wait to see Buddy, but I know I need to have a more serious talk with Jacob about our relationship and how for me, it will always be just a friendship. He's so kind, sweet, attentive, and patient, but I don't want him wasting his time on me. He's a very eligible handsome, successful bachelor. He should be sowing some serious oats. I see the way girls look at him; even the waitresses at his cafe are smitten. He has dark skin, hair and kind eyes, He's well built, muscular and about six feet tall. Mainly he is warm, kind, smart and very open. It's hard to not be attracted to Jake, and don't get me wrong, I am. Finding him attractive is not the issue...I just don't believe in lasting romantic love. I have never witnessed it. One person ends up destroying the other somehow, whether intentionally or not. My parents for example, their divorce practically ruined them both. Charlie has yet to even attempt dating again and it's been fifteen years. My mom, Renee, she has gone from one bad relationship to another. She's run the gamut of dating every abusive, addicted, possessive, emotionally unavailable man since their divorce. She's still out there trying, but remains unhappy and unsuccessful at love. I have learned from their mistakes although some call it cynicism. If I ever enter into a potentially lasting relationship it will be built around friendship; romance, and sex will not be part of the equation. They just complicate things and eventually sabotage the relationship.

**A/N**

**Hmm, Bella is a bit cynical.**

**What should she say to Jacob?**

**Who did she meet in Europe?**

**Going on about 4 hours of sleep here. Spent the whole afternoon and evening in LA fangirling. I may have gotten a certain man's autograph last night...**


	10. Chapter 10

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Chapter 10**  
**EPOV**

Craigslist, I have never used Craigslist until now. I had no idea how extensive Craigslist was; want ads, for sale, for lease, rehoming, and personal ads. I had never in a million years thought I would ever consider a personal ad, but here I go.

_Looking for girl; pretty, long dark hair, with Jack Russell Terrier "Buddy" at the Huntington Beach Dog Beach on Saturday, June 9th. I have something you might want._

I hesitantly push ... _publish_.

I almost regret the ad, but not. My constant thoughts of this girl over the past few weeks have invaded my brain. Maybe attempting to find her will relieve some of the guilt I feel over our encounter at the beach. I still feel somehow responsible for her dismal day, even though my dogs and I didn't cause any of it. I want my life to go back to normal, as in not thinking about her, smelling her, or hoping to see her.

Another visit from Victoria reminds me of yet another reason why I don't want to be in a relationship. Women are complicated and can be very manipulative. After all my family has been through, we choose to live a drama free life as much as possible. A woman in my life, especially one who is anything like Victoria, would upset this delicate balance. I have more than just myself to think of too. My family and my dogs are too important. I am... comfortable.

Alice assures me that she will grill, check out, and interrogate anyone I choose to date; giving her stamp of approval before allowing me to introduce them to our parents. I don't doubt she would give me her objective/honest opinion, but why mess with something so...peaceful. When I say this, Alice, just rolls her eye and mumbles something about defense mechanisms. She accepts my choice to be single, but doesn't understand it; especially the celibacy that comes with my lifestyle.

The Hoag Hospital Annual Gala charity event is on the Fourth of July. The whole family and Emmett and Rosalie are coming. My mom works especially hard on this event and it's for a good cause. Unfortunately, I have no doubt that something is in the works for me to be fixed up with someone's daughter, granddaughter, or niece. It's always the same, "She's such a sweet girl, a real looker" and these descriptions are mostly true. I'm just not interested and not comfortable being set up. I spend my whole night trying not to be rude while trying to escape. It ends up being embarrassing for both of us. In hopes of avoiding all of this, I am bringing Jasper with me, he's my plus one. He is quiet, but very smooth with the woman. I could learn a lot from him if I wanted to.

Jasper and I need to discuss the lawsuit anyway. Apparently, we haven't made any progress. It has been proposed that I move, but I have too much invested and it would be incredibly hard to move my business. I have established myself here for the long run. I will fight until the end on this one, for the inconvenience yes, but mainly on principle. I was here first; they knew how noisy we were when they built so close. There has to be a legal way to win this lawsuit, because I'm not prepared or willing to give Victoria what she wants.

**A/N**

**Hmmm, any guesses on what Edward's noisy business is?**

**I leave for LA today. BD2 tent city here I come!**

**I will be reading all of your reviews and responding if I can. **

**And I will continue to post on schedule. **

**Thanks everyone!**


	11. Chapter 11

**beta'd by cejesmom**

**Chapter 11**

**BPOV**

Arriving home always feels so good after a long trip. I dump my bags just inside the door and run, literally, to Angela's to get Buddy.

I no sooner step in the door and he leaps up into my arms. "I guess you missed me as much as I missed you little guy",I say hugging him to my chest.

Angela is in her chair smiling at us. Buddy was a perfect gentleman while in her care and Jacob was very prompt, responsible and attentive to my Buddy too; it's good to know he was well looked after.

"You know he really cares about you," Angela says.

"Buddy?" I respond knowing full well she is talking about Jacob, but I am trying to lighten the conversation and avoid the topic altogether. Her lack of response and eye contact let me it didn't work. I take a deep breath and sigh, "I know, and I need to have a serious talk with him, soon".

"You two would be really good together, easy," Angela pushes. "Is there no spark? Is that why you won't go out with him?"

"It's a long, complicated reason why I won't go out with him. Let's just say that I wouldn't be good with anyone, and he deserves better."

"Don't limit yourself Bella. Don't sabotage things before you even give them a chance. I was married for a lot of years and I know what it takes to have a good relationship, and Jacob is definitely relationship material."

"I know Angela. He is perfect in so many ways, just not perfect for me. Or rather, I'm not perfect for him. We are better as friends. He needs to move on and find someone who can appreciate him more than I can."

"I would hate to see you lose your chance with him. He really is a great catch." She gives me an encouraging smile as I gather up all of Buddy's things.

"Thanks again Angela, I really appreciate your help with Buddy," I call as we walk out the door. If Angela had noticed Jacob's interest in me, then talking to him needs to be sooner than later.

The salty breeze wafts in the open screen door and windows. The house really needs to be aired out after my absence.

Showering off the airplane grime is high priority. The strong flow of hot water from my shower was sorely missed. Low flow hotel showers really suck. I don't know what I miss more when traveling, my shower, or my bed. Right now the shower is winning.

I throw on a tank top and short cotton shorts, what I sleep in most nights. I throw my bags on the bed and begin to sort. The iPod is a must to motivate me to finish the tedious job of unpacking. With the music blaring in my ears I dance around, starting the laundry and putting things back in their place throughout the house. Buddy follows me from room to room, my little shadow. He won't let me out of his sight. One of my favorite songs comes on, Santeria by Sublime. I stop and bend down to Buddy's level and sing to him. He is mesmerized by my antics, but suddenly darts past me. Surprised, I spin around to see Jacob leaning in the front doorway with a way too amused expression on his face. He slowly raises his eyes to meet mine; they were obviously on my ass while I was bent over... great.

"It's not nice to sneak up on people. How long were you standing there?" I ask obviously annoyed. I feel my face flush realizing my lack of clothing.

"Well, I rang the bell, knocked a few times. You were, um, in your own world. I tried the screen door and it was unlocked so I let myself in. I hope you don't mind? I needed to get your attention somehow. Even Buddy was, um, interested in your little performance."

"That little performance was, um, private. Why didn't you call before showing up at my door?" I spit out.

The smile on Jacob's face fades, which makes me feel bad for my reaction. "I just got home from the cafe, I wanted to see if you got home safely and how your trip was."

Getting over the embarrassment I breathe, "Thanks for checking up on us, as you can see we are doing just fine." I force a smile for his benefit. He stands there staring at me with a look of too much admiration than I deserve or want.

"I'll be right back", I say as I leave the room. I need a robe. I wonder how much of me Jacob actually saw? I don't have on a bra or underwear. I wasn't expecting to see anyone. I shake my head with regret. I don't want to make this harder for myself or Jake.

When I return Jake has made himself at home on the sofa, giving Buddy scratches on his tummy; his favorite. "Do you want something to drink, a beer, wine, water? I'm having a cold beer. I miss cold drinks."

Jake looks up and sees I have covered myself up. He raises his eyebrow, "Sure, I'll have the same."

"Thanks for looking after Buddy, Angela said it went pretty smoothly. Any word from Buddy's owner?" I yell from the kitchen.

"I've checked Craigslist's lost and found every day, but so far, nothing about Buddy. But I did see something interesting. That's another reason I wanted to see you tonight," he says as I hand him his beer and sit across from him in the chair.

"I'm glad Buddy's owners haven't come to get him. They don't deserve to have him back if they haven't tried harder to find him. What did you see, on Craigslist?"

"Did you ever take Buddy to the Huntington Dog Beach?" he asks.

I freeze. My heart starts pounding in my chest. How does he know, I never told him I went there? "Actually I did, it was a disaster. We're not cut out for that place. How did you know I went there?" I can tell Jake is hesitating to tell me. He looks almost sad.

"What Jake?"

"Well, I saw a personal ad. I think someone is trying to find you."

I scream "what?" inside my head, but try to stay calm outwardly. Why am I having such a physical reaction to this bit of information? Breathe in, breathe out. "What did the ad say?" I immediately picture the source of my anxiety, cute abs guy. Who else would be trying to find me? But why?

"I didn't print it out, but something about a pretty young girl with brown hair and a dog named Buddy."

"Oh, that could describe most of the girls on the beach, and Buddy is a common dog name", I admit almost disappointedly. It's not me, it's not cute abs guy.

"Well, what day did you go? The ad had the date." he continues.

"Um, the Saturday before I left, that beautiful weekend, June 9th I think."

"Yup, the ad said June 9th."

My heart stops. I can't seem too eager in front of Jacob, but all I want to do is run to my computer and search for the ad. "Thanks Jake, I'll check it out later. Did you meet anyone while I was gone, go out on any dates?" I ask focusing on the unpleasant task at hand.

He shrugs his shoulders, "I meet people every day Bella, but no one who interests me, so to answer your question, no dates while you were gone." His eyes search mine as he says it.

I have to look away. I can't match his intensity or need. "Jake, you know I care about you. But I'm not looking for a relationship, with anyone." I glance at him and continue. "I've tried the relationship thing; it's just not for me. My job is too consuming of my time and energy. Plus, I think we are better as friends, I wouldn't want to ruin that."

"Bella, I know you're not ready for a relationship. I don't mind waiting." he says as he scoots to the edge of the sofa leaning towards me; his eyes never leaving my face.

I sit back farther in the chair without even thinking. He's not taking me seriously, and I don't want my body language to encourage him at all. "Jake, I don't want you to wait for me; I don't think I'll ever be ready. I have no intention of settling down and getting married now, in five years or in ten. It's just not me. Please don't wait, go have some fun."

My voice sounds almost like I'm pleading.

Looking down he says, "Don't worry about me Bella, I like my life. I am having fun. I'm doing what I want to do." He stands up and walks to the door. "I'm glad you're back Bella, Buddy really missed you." And leaves.

I don't move for a few minutes going over the conversation in my mind. I don't think it went well. He didn't listen to me, and I hurt him. I don't know what to say or do to make this any easier, better. Hopefully, in time he will accept my decision and move on.

Butterflies flit in my stomach, the Craigslist ad. I run to get my computer which I haven't unpacked yet. I rush to get it hooked up and boot it up. Google, Craigslist and search...

**A/N**

**What do you think about Jake and Bella's interaction?**

**Who posted the ad? LOL**

**I read all your reviews, thanks, thanks, thanks. Send me the love.**

**Camping is going well. Busy day today, surprise in an hour, concert later!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Beta'd by cejsmom, who I met this weekend and just adore :)**

**Chapter 12**  
**EPOV**

It's been almost a week and no response from my ad. I didn't really think she would see it, but I felt compelled to try to contact her. That's really not like me to care what a stranger thinks, especially a beautiful female. I do my best to avoid these awkward encounters and here I am placing an ad trying to find her.

I know I'm just kidding myself when I say that guilt or the desire to share these beautiful photos with her are the reasons I did this. To be honest I don't know why I did? Hopefully, the notion of finding her is out of my system and I can move on, or rather go back to how things were before she showed up at my beach.

Sunday dinner tonight at my parents and finally, Jasper gets to meet my family. Emmett and Rosalie will also be there and Alice as she is back from Europe. Jasper and I have a deposition with Victoria and her rabid attorneys in the morning, so we have a few things to go over tonight in preparation.

My parent's house is amazing, situated on a bluff above the Pacific Ocean. The whole back of the house has walls that slide open making it feel like there are no walls at all. They have a small spa and pool, a beautiful deck and a private stairway leading down to the sand. There are plenty of quiet places Jasper and I can talk. My family doesn't need to know the tedious details of my lawsuit. They know how hard I've worked to build what I have, and they would just worry about me.

Jasper and I arrive first and after introductions with Esme and Carlisle and grabbing a couple of beers we head out to the deck to discuss matters. Everyone else will be arriving in the next half hour or so, so we get down to business.

"You know Edward; this could easily go either way. The truth is with you, but the law is with them. Victoria says that people work in her buildings 24/7. You and I know that isn't true, but proving that is tricky. You are noisy; you guys "disturb the peace", every day, almost all day. It is disruptive, for a great cause, but disruptive. This is only the deposition, just to gather facts and share information. Thankfully you have the photos of the surrounding land from when you purchased and built. This proves that you were there first. If this goes to trial, we have to hope the judge is a member of the ASPCA."

"Thanks for telling me what we're up against. To tell you the truth she has some pretty scary looking people going in and out of her complex. I wouldn't be surprised if some illegal things are going on over there. But that is a separate issue in itself."

"True, but if you, we, could gather any evidence of anything illegal this could all just go away."

"I know Jazz, but I feel so vulnerable. I would hate to bring anymore potentially dangerous attention on us, and if there is something shady going on, shady people are involved. I don't think I can put us at risk like that, too many innocent lives involved."

"Well, let's see how things go tomorrow. We'll know how to proceed better after that."

"Hey, thanks again for taking my case. I really need someone I can trust with this. I stop and look around, "No one else is here yet, want a tour?"

The grand tour includes the third story bedrooms and bathrooms all with a spectacular ocean view, and a wrap-around balcony. We take the elevator down to the first floor. This is where the man cave is, when the ladies aren't around that is. There is a theater, concession stand, bar, pool table, jukebox and a few flat screens for watching various sports. Jazz is impressed, most people are. We host most sporting events down here, award shows, etc. My parents love to entertain and are generous with Alice's and my friends.

Heading back up to the second floor where we started we hear voices coming from the massive custom kitchen. Both of my parents love to cook, each has their own specialty. Tonight Dad is serving his famous pizzas, baked in his outdoor pizza oven. Right off the kitchen on the covered deck is an outdoor dining room, equipped with a bar, fridge, sink, barbecue and the famous oven. Dad prides himself on his crust and baking skills and Mom prepares all of the toppings and side dishes.

"We certainly know when Emmett and Rose are in the house don't we?" I kid with Jasper. Emmett is a big personality, with a big voice. You could hear him from the wine cellar.

Esme turns and smiles, "There you are, thought you got lost on your tour. Get everyone a drink please, Edward."

"Hey Emmett, Rose, what's your poison? Wine, beer, Patron shots?" I joke. This is a running joke, because Rose tends to shed her clothes when Patron is involved. Emmett, smiles, but rubs her back and whispers in her ear to calm her. I can tell she wants to take my head off but is holding back because of my parents. Perfect venue to tease her. I laugh out loud as she shoots daggers at me, which makes me laugh more. "Where's Alice?"

"She went to her room to rest, jet lag. She wants us to wake her when the food is ready." I nod at my mom's response, knowing all too well how hard time changes are on her. "So, Edward, anyone special in your life?" Here it comes, where's Alice when I need her.

"No Mom, things have been a little busy for me. No time for dating." I say obviously a little annoyed.

She doesn't continue to press me on the subject, but I can tell she is still thinking about it, because she keeps glancing at me with these looks of pity which I really hate. It makes me feel like I'm doing something wrong. It's my life; if I choose to be single I shouldn't be made to feel bad about my choice. I know she only wants what's best for me, but I think I know that better than her.

"Come and get it," Carlisle yells. We all scramble for position in line to top our pizzas, even Rose gets in on it. Everyone wants their pizza in the oven first. My mom walks out of the room shaking her head and mumbling something about testosterone, she's probably headed to wake up Alice.

Jasper fits right in, the conversation flows easily. He and my dad talk business, he and my mom talk fundraising. When Alice joins us, looking tired and dazed the conversation is in full swing. She stops in the doorway, surveys the scene, glares at me, then Jasper and leaves without saying a word, odd.

"What's up with her?" I whisper to my mom. She just shrugs her shoulders as confused as me. No one else seemed to notice.

I'm about to go and check on Alice when she reappears, looking very different. She has cleaned up, changed her wrinkled clothes, brushed her hair and added some make up. Looking more like herself. She saunters into the room and takes the seat right next to Jasper. Before I get a chance for introductions, she turns to Jazz, and extends her hand. "Hi, I'm Alice, Edward's sister. You must be Jasper, where has Edward been hiding you?"

I have never seen a goofier smile on any guy. It's like someone turned on a switch in him. "Nice to meet you too, Alice, apparently I've been hiding until I could meet you." Smooth Jazz.

The table is silent as Alice and Jasper stare at each other. I turn to look at everyone and we all look at each other with raised eyebrows. Their instant connection did not go unnoticed. They didn't leave each other's sides the rest of the night. Good thing Jazz and I talked business earlier. I am happy they hit it off, but I can't help but feel left out. Once again, I'm the 7th wheel, or whatever wheel I happen to be that day. I have to remind myself this is my choice, but sometimes it's a lonely choice. So much for Jazz being my "date" for the Fourth of July hospital gala.

**A/N**

**What do you think about Jasper and Alice's meeting? I feel bad for Edward.**

**Today is the big day! Autographs and pictures yesterday! I didn't get the greatest number for the black carpet. Hopefully, I will at least get some good photos and see the movie.**

**Thanks for the reviews. I loved reading them!**


	13. Chapter 13

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Chapter 13**

**BPOV (Ads and emails are in bold and italics)**

I can't believe how many personal ads there are on Craigslist. Some of them are decent, but most of them make my skin crawl. I picture some lecherous old guy sitting in his tighty whities typing **_SM25seekingSF14-17_-** ewww.

I found it!

**_Looking for girl; pretty, long dark hair, with Jack Russell Terrier "Buddy" at the Huntington Beach Dog Beach on Saturday, June 9th. I have something you might want._**

My heart is pounding, because this seems to be about me. I'm thinking it could only be from one person, Cute Abs Guy. There is a generic Craigslist email to respond to. I'm too tired tonight, maybe sleeping on it with help. Do I want to respond? My physical reaction to this ad says yes, but my brain says it's probably not a good idea.

Although I'm exhausted from traveling, I have a fitful night of sleep. The haunting eyes are still there, coupled with my mind questioning whether or not I should respond to the ad; made it hard to get any real rest. When I wake up I decide to answer the ad. What do I have to lose? Besides my dignity?

I make coffee, and get my laptop set up and start typing my response.

**_I was at the dog beach with my dog Buddy that day._** *boring* delete

**_Who is looking for me?_** *accusatory* delete

**_?_** *vague* delete

**_I think you might be looking for me._** *short and to the point* I press send.

I check my emails, read over some of my trip notes, check my suspect emails and there it is.

From EC_ssarc

The email address gives me no clue about this guy.

**_Dear fellow dog beach goer,_**

**_If you are who I'm looking for, you had a difficult day at the beach that Saturday. I seem to remember sand flying, a lost dog and a real mess. Does this sound like you? __EC_**

Well, it sounds condescending like him. EC, is not even a name. This guy is giving me nothing to work with here.

**_EC,_**

**_If it is me, why would I want to be found by you? Who are you? And why are you looking for me? __IS_**

Two can play at the vague game.

**_IS,_**

**_Is that your name? I feel bad about your issues, at the dog beach. __EC_**

Oh, no, he didn't just ask about my name. I'm not giving him any information until he does.

**_EC,_**

**_No, that's not my name. Thanks for your concern, but why? __IS_**

**_IS,_**

**_It was your first visit to the dog beach, right? There is a certain "etiquette" for the dog beach. I should have warned you. __EC_**

**_EC,_**

**_Ok, so now that you found me, what do you want? __IS_**

I'm starting to feel really embarrassed and defensive. There was a part of me that hoped he didn't see my whole disaster play out, but apparently he did.

**_IS,_**

**_I was taking some photos that day and I got some good shots of your dog. Can I send them to you? __EC_**

He did catch it on film, yeah.

**_EC,_**

**_Sure, thanks. __IS_**

**_IS,_**

**_The photos are attached, let me know what you think. __EC_**

The photos are amazing. There are a few cute ones of Buddy frolicking on the beach, one of me and Buddy, our first photo together, and one of just me. He has a good eye for photography. I look good for such a stressful day at the beach.

**_EC,_**

**_Thanks for sending the photos, they are great! __IS_**

Seeing the photos does make me feel a little better about my dog beach experience, but I'm no closer to learning anything about the cute photographer.

What I do know; his email address, he takes good photos, he has a lot of dogs or is a dog walker, he goes to the dog beach frequently, so he must leave close by. He has great abs, amazing eyes and he's hot.

What I don't know; his name, his story, his everything.

Not knowing bothers me, and I don't like it. I don't like not knowing more about him and I don't like that I care. Ughhhh

I try to focus on writing my piece on Italy. I end up staying shut-in for a few days doing nothing but writing. My porch is the perfect spot for inspiration and peacefulness.

I know I should try to talk to Jacob again, but I'll leave it alone for now. Every time I see him I hope he has met someone special and moved on from me. Sometimes I think if I keep my distance this would be more likely to happen.

The days fly by between catching up on sleep, getting the house back in order, and writing.

I am actually getting out of the house today to meet a new friend for lunch. I met her in Italy and she is a bundle of energy. Surprisingly, we live only a few beach cities apart. What are the chances of that?

**A/N**

**So... how did their email conversation go? They are both so guarded.**

**Who is she having lunch with?**

**BD2 is amazing, shocking, epic!**

**Thanks for all of your kind words and reviews. I hope to be back on track now and responding to your reviews.**


	14. Chapter 14

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Chapter 14**

**EPOV**

The deposition goes as we figured. They are lying, but we can't prove it. I "disturb the peace", therefore I should move.

Jasper and I decide to lay low and see how things unfold, but I am to keep my eyes and ears open regarding the adjacent property. If we could catch them in a lie, their lawsuit may just go away. I also have to be extremely careful. Neither Jaz, nor I have a good feeling about Victoria and her associates.

I have more personal reasons for having bad feelings about Victoria.

Days pass and no response to my Craigslist ad. In the days after placing the ad I would race to my computer or check my phone obsessively. Now I'm resigned to the fact that she may not see the ad or if she does she may not answer. I try to push down the feeling of disappointment, because it's silly. This was a long shot to begin with.

The question is, do I feel less guilty about her? I honestly don't know. No weight has been magically lifted off my chest, that's for sure.

I can still smell her. It makes me uneasy; like I'm missing something. This is the most ridiculous situation I have ever been involved in.

I can't help but feel a bit like a voyeur, for taking the photos, and an internet stalker, for trying to find her. None of which I am, but she doesn't know that. I just need to focus on other things.

The Fourth of July Gala is this weekend. It's a family event and I plan on taking Jasper as my "date". Since he met Alice he's even more eager to go. They haven't officially gone out yet. He confided to me that he wants to see Alice in a group one more time before asking her out. Without getting too graphic he explained the intense connection he felt towards her. He wants to make sure it's not a fluke or one sided before he pursues her further. His past failed relationships makes him understandably cautious. He asks me not to mention it to Alice. I know this will be hard so I've been avoiding her since the dinner at my parents.

Just when I think she's out of my head I get an email from her. She responds exactly like I thought she would. She's very to the point, almost rude; just like I remember her. She doesn't give me her name, actually no personal information at all, but she lets me send her some of my photos.

When the emails end I feel let-down. I didn't learn much about her. She has my photos, and my email address, and I have hers. It isn't a lot, but it's more than I had this morning.

**A/N**

**Anyone feeling bad for Edward? **

**The emails have stopped. How do you think they will hook up next?**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing :)**

**BD2... EPIC! See it as soon as you can and don't talk to anyone about it until you do. Trust me :)**


	15. Chapter 15

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Here's a long one for you.**

**Chapter 15**

**BPOV**

I was so happy to be out in the fresh air. I hadn't been out of the house for days and the sun and breeze felt wonderful. I was even happier when Alice suggested a restaurant by the water with an outdoor patio called The Beach House. I desperately needed some sun and human interaction.

Before I have a chance to give the valet my key, Alice grabs me into a big hug, "Bella, I'm so glad you could meet me for lunch. You look pale, are you okay?" She questions, showing sincere concern.

"Alice, I'm fine. I've just been indoors for days. Nothing a little fun and sun can't fix." I laugh.

She hooks her arm in mine and we walk together into the restaurant. We get the perfect table in the corner of the patio.

Alice starts right in with the run-down of her time since she returned from Europe. She talks so fast it's hard to keep up, but I'm enjoying every minute of it. She has such a zest for life and a confidence that's infectious. I can't help but smile as she talks.

"I met the most amazing man, Bella. He's cute, funny, shy, sweet and so hot. He's a friend of my brother, Edward, and our friend, Emmett. Emmett has known him for years so I know he's a good guy. Neither of these guys would let him near me if he wasn't."

"I'm so happy for you, Alice. Are you going to see him again?" I ask.

"Well, he hasn't asked me out, but we've talked on the phone a few times, texted and emailed. The conversation just flows; I'm so comfortable with him, and the sexual tension is amazing. I've never felt this... connection before. My mom hosts a big Fourth of July Gala for the hospital. Edward is bringing him. All of our friends come. Oh, Bella, you have to come. It will be so fun! Do you have plans for the Fourth?"

"I hadn't really thought about it. Where is it?"

"It's at the Montage Resort here in Laguna. We have the garden on the bluff and a ballroom reserved. There will be food, flowing drinks, dancing, fireworks; you just have to come."

"How can I deny you, Alice. You make it sound so fun. And believe it or not I can walk there. I live on the hill, across PCH from the Montage."

"Then it's settled Bella. It starts at four pm. I have to go early to help with the decorations, but just come on down whenever you want. We can always use another set of hands."

Our afternoon together goes too quickly. I really like Alice. I haven't made many girlfriends here in California. She takes me to her parent's house in Laguna. It's not a house, it's a resort. They could rent out rooms for vacations. I would stay there.

I meet Alice's mom, Esme. She is poised, beautiful and kind. Not the least bit pretentious considering the money they obviously have. Alice seems to have a friendly, loving relationship with her mom. It makes me miss my mom, even with her irresponsible ways.

"I hope you're coming to the Gala, Bella. It's always so much fun and it's for a good cause. Come as our guest. Everyone will be there. You can meet Alice's brother, Edward. He's such a sweet boy." Esme says with a glint in her eye. I sense a set up here. We say our goodbyes and I thank her for inviting me to the gala. Alice walks me out to my car.

"Hey, Alice. Your mom seems to want me to meet your brother, Edward. I have to let you know that I don't really date and I definitely don't do relationships."

Alice busts out laughing.

"What?" I ask, getting defensive. My love life is anything but funny.

"Sorry, Bella, you sound just like Edward. How ironic. My mom is always trying to set him up with someone. It's her goal in life right now. He hates it. I'll talk to her and get her to back off, both for you and Edward."

"Thanks, Alice. I certainly don't want or need a man. No offense. I'm sure your brother is great. But just NO men."

"I understand Bella. Edward is... complicated anyway. He's just as opposed to a relationship as you are. My parents just can't accept that, especially my mom." I see sadness in Alice's eyes as she talks of her brother. We hug goodbye. Alice is fun to hang out with.

**MMB**

I decide on a white cotton halter dress and some high strappy sandals for the Gala. Buddy seems a bit on edge from the fire crackers, so I put him in the bathroom with food, water, his bed and the radio blasting some music. Hopefully, the noise from the radio will mask the imminent fire crackers and fireworks.

It's a beautiful day and a quick ten minute walk to the Montage. The breeze is gently blowing, not the usual afternoon gusts we can get here by the ocean. The Montage is a breathtaking resort. It is known for its location, amenities and price.

I find Alice exactly where I thought she'd be, in the center of the ballroom, directing whoever would listen to her. I jump right in and do what I can. The men in particular jump when Alice asks them to do something. I could learn something from this girl.

"Bella, let's get a drink and then I'll introduce you to everyone." Alice says as she drags me outside to a reserved table situated on the edge of the bluff. "There are some perks to having a mom that plans these events." Alice laughs.

Drinks in hand, she leads me around introducing me to more people than I will ever remember. She lowers her voice to a whisper as we near a group of people about our age. "That girl right there is, Tanya. Her parents are best friends with mine. Our parents have been arranging a marriage between her and my brother since they were toddlers. She follows him around like a little puppy. It's actually quite sad. Edward has tried to let her down gently, but she still seems to be waiting for him."

"Sounds familiar." I snort. "Well, kind of anyway, not the puppy part." I don't like referring to Jacob as a puppy. It makes him seem pathetic, which he's not, he's just persistent. I notice she's a cute girl; tall, slender, strawberry blonde hair. She doesn't seem like the desperate type.

Carrying drink number two, we make our way back to our table. Seated at the table are five of the most beautiful, handsome people I've ever seen.

"Guys, this is Bella, the girl I met in Europe. Bella, this is my dad, Carlisle, our friends, Emmett and Rosalie, my brother Edward, and this is Jasper. She beams when she says Jasper's name. I give her a quick smile and turn to greet them. I barely remember shaking hands with each of them, because I am completely preoccupied by the familiar, gorgeous guy with an infuriating smirk and the most beautiful eyes.

Alice takes the seat next to Jasper and they immediately go into their own world. The only open seat is next to Alice's brother, Edward. I hesitantly sit, trying to seem interested in my drink, but I can feel his eyes on me.

"Edward, there you are. I've been looking all over for you. Come dance with me." The voice is whiney and pleading. I immediately guess who it is, Tanya. Sure enough, she is practically in his lap when I glance over. I can tell he is uncomfortable, but he excuses himself and goes with her anyway.

"So, Bella how did you meet Alice?" Emmett booms across the table making me jump. He has a huge smile on his face that instantly puts me at ease. I tell the story of how we met. Emmett is very sweet. Rosalie, on the other hand, doesn't say much and gives nothing away from her facial expressions. We chat for a while and I excuse myself to find a restroom and get another drink.

I find myself looking around for him, and angry with myself for doing so. As I pass the dance floor on my way to the restroom, I spot them. Tanya is rubbing her body all up and down Edward. I can't tell by the expression on his face whether he likes it or not.

Alice catches up with me at the bar. "Bella, isn't he just perfect?" Alice orders cocktails for everyone at the table and a bottle of water.

"He seems nice, Alice, but I didn't really get a chance to talk to him."

"We'll just have to fix that." Alice says as I help her carry the drinks back to the table. Emmett, Rosalie, Jasper and Edward are seated, no sign of Tanya. I breathe I sigh of relief. We pass out the cocktails. Edward gets the bottled water.

The conversation flows more freely with Alice involved. I start to feel comfortable with everyone, except Edward. I sense him still staring at me, but we haven't spoken directly to each other. I try my hardest to pretend he's not there, but the air is thick with tension. And then it happens, just as I expected, a smart ass comment.

"So Bella, been to the dog beach lately?" Edward smugly says.

I can feel my face warming from my blush. I don't feel like reliving that day, and here I sit next to Cute Abs Guy, and that's what he wants to talk about.

"Nope, and I don't plan on it anytime soon." I snap.

"Didn't you have an interesting day at the dog beach recently Edward? Some hot girl?" Emmett booms, seemingly oblivious to the connection. My face is on fire from embarrassment as I look for an escape route. The only thing that keeps me from bolting is that he apparently described me as "hot" to his friends.

"Actually, Bella is the girl from the dog beach," he proudly announces.

I literally want to crawl under the table when almost in unison they all say, "You're the Dog Beach Virgin?"

They're all laughing hysterically when I get up to leave. Edward grabs my hand, leans in and says. "Is it too soon to laugh about it? Sorry for bringing up an uncomfortable subject. That was stupid of me. Please don't go."

Stunned, I stop. His hot breath and closeness causes my body to visibly shiver. My mind still wants to leave, but my body is betraying me.

He gives my hand a squeeze and sits back down. I feel frozen in one spot. The laughter has died down and everyone at the table is looking at me expectantly, waiting to see what I will do.

"Yes, but you didn't see the photos I took of her. She is amazingly photogenic, even when she's having a bad day." Edward says, giving me a wink.

I'm surprised by his unexpected flirting and don't want to cause a scene so I sit back down. The conversation about the dog beach and the focus on me seems to have passed. We relax into comfortable conversation.

Just before the fireworks show, Esme walks to the podium to address the crowd. As soon as I hear her voice through the microphone, Edward abruptly leaves the table, almost knocking over his chair. No one at the table seems to notice his departure except I catch Alice and her dad make eye contact, look down and shake their heads.

"Thank you all for coming and supporting our wonderful hospital. I'd like to thank a few special benefactors. These people have been instrumental in elevating our level of care through their very generous donations. The Masen Company, Denali Innovations and Edward Cullen of the S. C. A. R., for his continued contributions to our state of the art Burn Unit and Pediatric Unit. The crowd erupts in thankful applause.

Silently, Edward returns and sits next to me during the firework show. The fireworks are spectacular but it's a little awkward sitting with three cozy couples, as Esme and Carlise are now sitting with us too.

I thank Alice and her parents for inviting me and say my goodbyes. As I turn to leave Edward catches up with me.

"Can I walk you home?" Edward says shyly.

"Sure, but you don't need to. It's not that far." I say, hoping I don't discourage him too much.

"I'd like to. I'd like to see how Buddy did with the fireworks."

"Yeah, me too. I'm a little nervous to see what my bathroom looks like."

"I know about dogs, and that was really smart to put him somewhere he would feel more secure and be sheltered from the fireworks. So many dogs really freak out from the noise and even run away," he says with admiration.

"How do you know so much about dogs?" I ask.

"I run an animal rescue in Huntington Beach."

"I thought you were a dog walker," I blurt out without thinking.

"Why Bella, is that why you treated me with such disdain that day at the beach? Did you think I was a lowly dog walker?" he smirks.

Feeling my face heat up again I decide to come clean. "Actually, I did think you were a dog walker, but that was fine. I just felt if you had been watching your dog's better, that disaster wouldn't have happened to me."

He stops walking and bends over laughing. I keep walking, I hate being laughed at.

"Look Bella, don't be mad. I'm laughing because this whole time you thought it was one of my dogs that did that to you, but it wasn't. I swear, it was one of those labs. The owner threw the ball too close to you. I think he was trying to get your attention."

The sincerity in his voice is hard to ignore. I take a deep breath and say, "Well, if that's the case, I owe you an apology for jumping to conclusions and assuming it was one of your dogs."

I don't usually like apologizing, who does? But this is different. I feel open, lighter. The feeling is exhilarating and terrifying. We walk in comfortable silence until we get to my door.

"Hey, I have an idea. Let's start over, you know, a clean slate." He says, putting out his right hand. "Hi, I'm Edward, and I'm not a dog walker." He says with a big smile, looking directly into my eyes.

"Hi Edward, I'm Bella and I'm not a bitch." We both burst out laughing as Edward's cell rings.

I go in to check on Buddy while Edward takes his call. I find Buddy sound asleep on his bed, while listening to the Beatles.

As he wakes up when he hears I'm home, I take Buddy out front to find Edward talking frantically on the phone. Buddy does his business and I only catch pieces of his phone call.

Edward hangs up and looks at me in a panic. "Um, can I borrow your car? I know this is awkward, but someone broke into the rescue and they think some of the dogs got loose. I would get my car, but it will take forever to get it from the valet at the hotel."

"Of course, but I'm coming with you. You may need my help. Just let me put Buddy back in the bathroom. He'll be fine for the night. Oh, and you better drive, I drank too much."

**A/N**

**Well... most of you guessed that Alice is who Bella met in Europe. And some were even correct about them meeting up again at the Gala.**

**How do you think it went between them?**

**And now you know what Edward does and why he is noisy. Surprised?**

**Thanks so much for reading and reviewing :)**

**I plan to get a teaser up on Fictionators tomorrow.**


	16. Chapter 16

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Chapter 16**

**EPOV**

I can't believe my eyes. Alice invited the girl she met in Europe to the Gala and she's her. What are the chances? It's the Dog Beach Virgin. I am so shocked I can't speak for what feels like an eternity. I just sit and watch her, like a fool. I'm sure my mouth is hanging open. Thank god no one else at the table notices.

I thought I had built her up in my mind to be something more than she was. But she is more beautiful than I remember. Even my photos don't do her justice. The day at the beach she had her hair in a ponytail, and no make up. Tonight her hair is down and flowing around her shoulders and she has a touch of make up on. Nothing overdone, just enough to highlight her features, especially her deep brown eyes.

Having her seated right next to me after all the time I've spent thinking of her is surreal. I honestly never thought I would see her again, especially after we emailed and then... nothing.

Now, with her so close I can't even describe my range of feelings; I've never felt anything like this before. I'm trying to just go with it, knowing in the back of my mind it doesn't change anything.

I listen to her shyly interact with my friends and family. She seems very self-conscience and fidgety; so different from the snippy girl at the beach. My mind tries to put these two sides of her together. I get the feeling there is a lot more to this girl than I originally thought.

I know I have to speak at some point so I start to think of something witty, something that will peak her interest in me. I'm hoping the photos softened her a bit towards me because the last time we saw each other she was pissed, apparently at me.

What pops into my head is the dog beach and before I can stop myself, a stupid, smart ass question flows out of my mouth.

"So, Bella, been to the dog beach lately?" I nearly slap my hand over my mouth to keep the whole sentence from escaping, but I can't.

"Nope, and I don't plan on it anytime soon." And there she is. The bitchy girl from the beach I remember so well.

My brain is going a mile a minute trying to figure a way to get my foot out of my mouth, when Emmett mentions the interesting day I had at the dog beach and the "hot girl" I met there. Again before I can stop myself I tell them that Bella is "that girl." The roar from the table even startles me; they are all howling with laughter, and repeating, "Dog Beach Virgin," my nickname for her.

Bella jumps up, I assume to leave, obviously embarrassed. I have to think quickly and try to smooth things over with her or she'll be gone, again. I decide to go with a subtle approach and I gently grab her hand and lean in to speak to her quietly. The heat of her body so close to mine almost causes me to forget my train of thought. I refocus and say what's in my heart. Basically, that I don't want her to go. I don't want to let go of her hand either, but I know I should, so I give it a gentle squeeze before releasing it.

With some hesitation, and a flash of some odd emotion in her eyes, she sits back down. I let out a giant breath, which I'd apparently been holding while waiting for her decision. I make sure the conversation at the table for the rest of the night is pleasant and benign. I do a lot more listening than talking, afraid I'll screw up again.

I'm so enthralled by Bella and listening to her talk about everything that I almost miss my cue to leave. When I do leave the table I practically knock over my chair. I really hope Bella didn't notice.

To avoid any conversation about my abrupt departure, I stealthy return just after the fireworks begin. I make sure to sit close to her. We are surrounded by couples, but for once I don't feel like the third wheel. It feels really good. For the first time ever I can see myself as part of a couple, but I only let my mind go there for a second.

When the Gala winds down, I'm not done with Bella. I heard her mention earlier that she walked here, so that's my perfect opportunity. I offer to walk her home, and she hesitantly agrees. It's our first time alone tonight and I know this is my best chance to make things right with her. I really should, for Alice's sake. They are friends after all.

The walk is good, wonderful actually. I hope her house is really far away, so we have more time to talk. I learn some very important information. The reason Bella was so mad at me at the beach that day, was because she thought that I was a dog walker with no control over his dogs. She also thought it was one of my dogs who assaulted her. I had to laugh at the dog walker part. But I make sure she knows it wasn't me or my dogs that messed up her day. It takes some convincing, but she seems to believe me.

After this revelation and some much needed laughter, the tension between us seems to diminish.

Everything is going so well until the phone call. One of my worst nightmares happens and on one of the worst nights. Someone broke into the center, did some damage, but worst of all, let some of the dogs out.

I ask to use Bella's car, she agrees and wants to come with me. I wish I could be happy about this, but I know that my place isn't the safest place to be right now. I know who did this and I'm concerned that this is only the beginning of my problems with the neighbors.

She asks me to drive since she had a few drinks and I didn't; another detail about this woman that draws me in. If she only knew how much this little gesture means to me.

When we arrive at the Animal Rescue, it's exactly what I expected. I take Bella upstairs to my apartment while I talk to the police. I do a quick inventory of the dogs and thankfully there are only three missing.

I return to the apartment to find Bella asleep on my couch. She looks so peaceful and beautiful. I don't have the heart to wake her. I jump on my computer and post some lost dog ads on Craigslist and the Find Toto website. I make some flyers with the missing dog's photos. I stop and watch her sleep for a minute deciding whether or not to wake her, but choose to write a quick note instead. I can't help myself and I move the hair off of her face and give her a light kiss, breathing in her delicious and familiar scent.

I drive around for what seems like hours. I find two of the dogs wandering the streets, but Booboo, the most timid of the three is nowhere to be found. It will be light soon and the dogs and I are exhausted so we return to the rescue, to Bella.

I left her my cell number, but she didn't call. I assume she's still sleeping so I work on securing the Rescue. I have to patch the chain link fencing, fix the locks, board a window and do some make shift locks on some of the dog kennels.

The sun is rising, I'm sweating. My back is killing me, my hands are sore, but most of all I'm worried about Booboo. I stop to stretch my back when I catch her scent. I turn slowly. She's leaning on the wall all casual, watching me, with a cautious smile, and holding a drink. I can't help but smile no matter how tired I am.

She steps forward and hands me the drink. I have the most overwhelming desire to kiss her, but I don't. I just say thanks.

"Did you find any of the dogs?" She asks in a sexy, what is most likely her morning, voice.

"I did, I found two of them. I put some signs up and placed some lost dog ads. Hopefully, Booboo will turn up today."

"You should have woken me up. I would have gone with you." she says.

"I didn't have the heart to wake you, and you did help me. I used your car, remember? Good thing you're use to dog hair in your car." I tease.

"You must be so tired, are you almost done?"

"Yep, almost. Then I'll drive you home and get my car." I don't really want her to leave, but I know I have to offer.

"No, no way. You need to get some sleep first. I wouldn't feel comfortable letting you drive on no sleep. Take a shower and catch some sleep. I can rest or read or something."

"Are you sure? I don't want to mess up your day." I ask.

"I insist." She says in a confident voice.

Well, I guess that's settled, and honestly I couldn't be happier. Well, if Booboo came back then things would be perfect.

With the center doors secured, Bella and I head back to the upstairs apartment. I give her a quick tour of the place, giving her some options of things to do while I'm sleeping. And I head to the shower. My muscles are so tight, a result of the stress of the night, no sleep and the manual labor. I'm really sore. The hot water helps some, but not much. I debate what to wear. I've never had a girl in my apartment when I was sleeping. I decide on a pair of pajama pants and a wife beater. I'm honestly too tired to care as long as I'm covered up.

I head to the kitchen to get some water and ibuprofen.

She notices what I'm doing and asks, "Are you hurt?"

"No, just really sore and tired, nothing some sleep won't help."

Bella is looking at all of my photographs mounted on the walls. "These are amazing. Did you take all of them?" she asks.

"Yeah, I've been taking pictures for as long as I can remember. It started as just a hobby, but kind of evolved into a career. I really do enjoy it. I rarely go anywhere without my camera. Most of these are just random shots from here and there."

"They're really good. You're very talented. Do you have more shots from that day at the dog beach?"

Panic mode, what do I say? Some of the photos are... interesting. She may get pissed or think I'm a perv. Plus, she is part of my screen saver. Too tired to think it through thoroughly I boot up my computer and open the file from the dog beach that day. I relinquish my desk chair to her and stumble to bed, mumbling, "Sorry.".

I'm out as soon as I hit the pillow. I dream about her; her smell, the heat of her body. It's the most pleasant dream I think I've ever had.

**A/N**

**She's in his apartment, on his computer. Do you think she will snoop? Would you? **

**He is a bit of an enigma...**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing. I love to hear your thoughts :)**


	17. Chapter 17

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Chapter 17**

**BPOV**

When I start to stir I know I'm not in my own bed or house. The smells are familiar, but not. My body is sticking to a newish leather sofa, but mostly I'm aware that I'm still in my clothes from last night. My first thought is, "Did I embarrass myself?" Which I tend to do when I drink, I'm such a lightweight. I can't recall anything specifically embarrassing, except that I was outed as the 'Dog Beach Virgin', which I take offense to, but also love because Edward referred to me as "hot" to his friends. I breathe a sigh of relief and smile. It was actually a really good night.

I open my eyes to see a note for me placed on the coffee table. Edward has very neat writing, almost meticulous. I am disappointed to read that he left to look for the dogs without me. He left his cell number and I consider calling him, but I know he'll be home when he can, so I choose not to bother him.

It's still dark, but I can tell it's near dawn. The window coverings are open, and I can see just a hint of orange in the eastern sky. I'm in the spacious living room of his second story apartment. His place is nicely and expensively decorated. It screams "designer": masculine, yet comfortable; very Edward. It's very clean and tidy. He either has a house cleaner who just came and cleaned or he's a bit anal.

What stands out the most about his place are the walls. They are covered with framed photographs. I'm assuming most of which were taken by him. I'll have to ask about the photos later.

I keep hearing this annoying repetitive noise coming from outside. I look out of the window facing the ocean. He has a lovely view across the wetlands, but I can't see anything making a noise. I notice he gets a gentle breeze here just like I do at my house.

I go to another window and I can barely make out the source of the noise...it's him. He appears to be fixing the damage to the doors of the rescue. I watch him work for a few minutes. I wish he didn't have a shirt on. I would love to see those abs again. I imagine his torso is darker than it was back in early June. A light film of sweat bands across his toned chest while the stress of the hard work is causing his muscles to flex.

I snap myself back to reality. He's obviously been up all night. He must be tired and thirsty. I freshen up in the bathroom before searching through his fridge for a cool drink. He has a few chilled sports drinks, so I pour one in a tall glass over ice and head downstairs.

I walk up to him slowly, not wanting to disturb or startle him, but mostly because I want to enjoy the view as long as I can. He's working so hard, so focused, like his life depends on this getting done right now. I know this comes from the empathy and love he feels for these animals.

Knowing what I know about him so far, I think he feels responsible for the dogs escaping. I hope we find all of the dogs today. Oh, "we". I like the sound of that, but very presumptuous of me. I'm acting like he'd want me here to help look for his dogs.

I'm lost in my daydream when he stops, stretches and turns towards me. I smile shyly, not knowing how he's going to feel about me being down here, disturbing his work.

His broad smile immediately puts me at ease. I can't help but smile back. I hand him the drink, which he appreciates.

I ask about the dogs. He's been very busy. I'm impressed with all that he managed to do while I slept and I'm touched that he is still worried about the dog that's still lost, Booboo.

I tell him how I wish he would have woken me up so I could help, but he doesn't seem the least bit upset that I didn't help him. I have mixed feelings about that. Maybe he didn't want me with him.

He tells me he's going to take me home as soon as he's done with the repairs. I'm disappointed. I don't want to leave yet. There's so much I want to learn about him. How the rescue came about? Did he take all of those photos in his apartment? Does he have a housekeeper? Boxers or briefs? And so much more.

I'm able to persuade him to get some sleep before he drives me back to Laguna. Whew, that was close. I have some snooping to do while he's sleeping.

We walk up to the apartment in comfortable silence. He gives me a quick tour; showing me where some magazines are, the tv remote, even the exercise equipment.

He tells me to make myself at home while he showers. I wonder if that includes watching him shower or better yet, taking a shower with him. I need to stop wondering.

I start with the photos on the walls. Most of them are scenic. A lot of beach photos, surfers, the dog beach, dogs, but very few people. He does have a few photos of his family, Emmett, and Rose. However, he's not in any of the photos. He must always be behind the camera. I'll have to change that. This man is too gorgeous to not be photographed.

I wonder if he's one of those guys that's all weird about his camera and doesn't want anyone touching it. There I go wondering again.

There is something about Edward that makes me want more, more information. It's like I'm insatiable about him and he's only touched me once, and on my arm. But that touch was like a flicker to my flame. He's left me burning since that first touch.

He walks into the room and I try not to gawk. His hair is damp and he smells soapy and clean. He's wearing pajama pants and a wife beater. I can see his muscular arms and the shape of his perfect ass.

We briefly talk about the photos on his walls. All of which are his.

I inquire about the other photos he took at the dog beach that day. He doesn't look comfortable, but he gets me set up to look at the photos on his computer anyway. He goes off to bed, stumbling and mumbling. He must be tired.

There are about 20 photos of me and/or Buddy. They are all pretty harmless except for one. I have my back turned and I'm bending over picking my stuff up off the sand. I didn't bend at the knees, big mistake. I wonder why he didn't delete this one. Hmmm, either he likes it or it's a potential blackmail photo. I doubt the latter. I have to admit it makes me smile in a, "he's kind of a perv," sort of way. He's been a perfect gentleman, so I'm not concerned.

I open a few of his other computer files. I have to do a little snooping. He appears to photograph mostly bikini models. I definitely don't look like them in a bikini. Even though Edward is obviously shy and reserved, he has access to beautiful women all of the time. I can't help but feel a little defeated. I'm way out of my league here.

Edward's only been asleep for an hour or so. I look for something else to occupy my mind. On a bookcase near his computer are what look like photo albums. My curiosity gets the best of me and I grab a few and head to the couch.

They are all family photo albums. Mostly pictures of Edward and Alice. Edward was a very serious child. He isn't smiling in a single shot. Knowing his parents and how they are. I can't understand why he would be so unhappy.

The photos of him as a child are so similar. Christmas, birthdays, even outside, he's seated with a dog on or near his lap. No typical little boy photos. No toothless smile, holding a bat, covered in dirt and grass stains. Edward is impeccable in every picture. Alice, on the other hand, looks like she is full of mischief and running circles around Edward.

I thumb through every photo album I can find, but no baby photos of him. There are some of Alice, but none of Edward as a baby. The photos of him seem to start when he's about five or so. That's odd.

At seven I call Jacob. I need him to let Buddy out and feed him. I didn't anticipate being gone all night and involving Jake is going to be awkward at best.

"Hey Jake, sorry to bother you so early."

"It's okay Bella. I was up. Is everything okay?"

"Everything is okay. I just need your help with Buddy."

"Sure, what do you need?"

"Well, I'm not home and I need you to go over and let him out and feed him."

Silence. "You're not home? Where are you?"

"A friend of mine had a problem last night and needed to use my car. I came along for the ride. The problem is that Buddy is locked in the bathroom. He..."

"Locked in the bathroom." He yells.

"Calm down, Jake. The fireworks were scaring him, so I locked him in the bathroom with the radio on to drown out the noise. I was home last night and let him out. He has food and water. He just needs to be let outside and given some more food."

"Oh, when will you be home?"

"I don't know for sure, but sometime today. You can leave him in the house when you go. He'll be fine for a few hours. I totally owe you." I say trying to lighten the tension.

"Good thing I still have your key from your trip. Ok, Bella. I'll help you out."

"Thanks Jake, for me and Buddy. I'll call you later when I get home."

"Sure." He agrees, but he sounds off. That was an awkward conversation, but I managed to get through it without mentioning that I'm with a guy. Even if he is just a friend, I don't want to have to explain myself to Jake, or make him feel bad.

I'm straightening the room and thinking about breakfast when a phone rings. I don't want it to wake Edward so I rush to silence it. It's his cell phone. I glance at the number, but it's not a programmed in the phone. I decide to answer it because it's so early and it could be about Booboo. I'm relieved when the caller says they saw a sign on a telephone pole and they have him.

I go to wake Edward, but he looked so tired just a couple of hours ago. I have GPS in my car, so I decide to go get Booboo by myself and surprise Edward.

I don't have any keys for the rescue so when I return with Booboo I take him upstairs to the apartment.

As soon as I open the door I hear yelling, "NO, NO, I can't move. HELP."

I rush to Edward's room with Booboo in my arms. I don't know what to expect. What I see makes my heart hurt. Edward is sound asleep obviously having a horrible nightmare. He's on his stomach thrashing around in bed, very upset. He keeps repeating, "Sorry, sorry. I'm so sorry."

I don't know what to do. I want to go to him and try to calm him, but I'm afraid. I don't want to overstep in our new, unusual relationship, if that's what you can call it.

Watching him in distress is more than I can bear. I cautiously go to him and gently rub his exposed back and shoulder. He is so hot and damp from sweat. He quiets and relaxes immediately at my touch.

I'm holding Booboo with my other hand; he squirms out and lands next to Edward on the bed. I try to grab him before he licks Edward's face, but I manage to fall on Edward in the process. He jumps up, his eyes unfocused, wild, and scared. He looks from me to Booboo and back again. I'm frozen. I'm sure I look as shocked as he does.

I think about running out of the room and fleeing the scene of the crime. Here I am, in his bedroom while he sleeps, while he has a nightmare no less. I feel like I'm intruding.

Suddenly he grabs Booboo into a tight hug, closes his eyes and gently rocks him back and forth. Now I really feel like I'm intruding.

I quickly walk out and head for the kitchen. I need to make myself useful.

I try to calm my nerves by making us breakfast.

He has ingredients for omelets. I start a pot of coffee, cut up some fruit, make some toast and pour some juice.

Booboo joins me in the kitchen when the smell starts wafting through the apartment. Edward follows behind him. He looks good, really good, still in his pajamas, disheveled hair, a little scruff on his face. I try not to stare.

"Sit down, breakfast is almost ready."

"Thanks." He says quietly, not making eye contact.

We eat in silence and it's killing me. I can't tell if he's angry, sad, embarrassed?

I jump when he breaks the silence even though his voice is quiet and calm. "This is really good, Bella. Thanks. How did Booboo get home?"

"I hope you don't mind, but your phone rang early this morning. I wasn't going to answer it, but I figured you put your cell number on the flyers you made. When the number calling wasn't programmed in your phone I took the chance that it might be about Booboo." I don't look up from my plate, afraid of what I might see in his eyes.

"That was really kind of you. You didn't have to go get him, but I'm glad you did. I can't imagine waking up to anything better." He touches my hand as he finishes speaking.

I can feel the heat of his hand burning through my body. I meet his eyes and I see true gratitude. He takes both of my hands in his and the intensity of his stare is breathtaking. "Thank you, Bella, for everything."

I'm stunned into silence. Unable to speak, move or look away. It seems like forever, but not nearly long enough, when he gently squeezes my hands and starts eating again.

It takes me a minute to compute what just happened. This gorgeous man, who is my friend's brother, is a photographer, owns an animal rescue, is amazingly compassionate about these animals, doesn't like to talk about himself and has terrifying nightmares, and he has managed to dazzle me with just five words.

**A/N**

**She didn't snoop too bad. Any thoughts about what she found?**

**What about the nightmare?**

**Happy Thanksgiving to all of my American readers! And Happy Day to the rest of you :)**

**I hope to respond to reviews, but I'm going to have family here who won't let me go on the computer much :/**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing. I really love to hear your thoughts.**


	18. Chapter 18

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Chapter 18**

**EPOV**

To say I'm a mess would be an understatement. I'm over tired, sore, stressed, but that is nothing compared to the emotions I've got running wild inside me. I'll take the fatigue and physical pain anytime over this chaos in my body. It feels like my heart and brain are at war.

I don't want to take Bella home, but I desperately need some time to think. So much has happened in the last 24 hours.

First, she came back into my life. I thought I would never see her again. That in itself is enough for one day.

Second, she is different, better, so much better. She's soft spoken and outspoken, she is feisty, but not bitchy, caring, kind, sweet, beautiful, friendly, and she smells so good. She fits right in with my family and friends and all they seem to adore her.

Third, we talked through our apparent dog beach misunderstanding and came out the other side as friends, I think.

Fourth, I needed help and she came to my rescue, literally. She was selfless and caring towards me and the dogs. She even went and got Booboo while I got some much needed sleep.

Fifth, the girl can cook! She threw together an amazing breakfast with what little I had in my fridge.

Lastly, she comforted me during one of my nightmares. I hadn't had one for months, but stress tends to make them rear their ugly heads. I'm embarrassed and relieved about what she saw.

Embarrassed, because that is not how I want her to see me; weak, afraid. I want to be someone strong, together, worthy, but I'm not.

Sadly, I'm relieved too. She's seen first-hand just how screwed up I am. I don't have to explain myself to her. I'm not good for her and now she knows.

I can still feel where she touched me. There is a lingering warmth that has spread throughout my body that hasn't gone away.

Esme and Alice have been the only woman in my life that I would allow to touch me. There have been woman in my life, sexual encounters, but I was never able to tolerate being touched by any of them, until now, until Bella.

In my early twenties I tried to be a normal guy. I went out, met woman, was physical with them. I can't really call it intimate, because it was anything but.

I got good at what I did. The sex, for lack of a better word, was all about pleasuring them. I learned all the ways to please a woman, without intercourse.

Every time they would try to touch me, I'd redirect their attention with my mouth or my hands.

It only took a few dates until they figured out that touching me and sex were not on the table. Some of the woman would stay around for a little while, but most of them took this as rejection and ended it.

I can't blame them, I never did. I'm not a complete package.

So, a few years ago I just stopped dating all together. My life is much less complicated now.

Or it was until Bella. The second her soft hand touched me, even though I was sound asleep, she calmed me. I felt this peaceful feeling wash over me, washing my nightmare and its painfulness away.

I was startled awake. I'm sure I looked scared, out of control, her shocked expression mirroring mine. I'm surprised she didn't go screaming and running out of my apartment.

All I could think to do to calm myself, besides latching onto Bella and really scaring her, is what I've always done, turn to my animals. Animals, especially dogs, have made me feel secure, comforted for as long as I can remember.

At first, it was a prescribed form of therapy. Now it's just me. I don't go a day without interacting with my animals. What better way to honor how much they have helped me, but to give back. That's why I started this rescue.

Bella's presence here with me and everything she's done, is beyond anything I expected.

In the middle of enjoying her fantastic breakfast, I do something very uncharacteristic of me and very out of my comfort zone. I take her hands in mine, give her the full force of my eyes and thank her from the bottom of my heart.

It's the least I can do, and the most I have to offer.

This seems to stun her into silence. She just stares at me, through me, until I regretfully break our gaze and continue eating.

During the drive to get my car at the Montage, we are quiet. It seems we are both lost in our own thoughts.

I sense some tension between us, but nothing too uncomfortable.

I'm surprised Bella doesn't say anything about my nightmare. She seems to understand that I'm not ready or willing to discuss it. I appreciate her respecting my privacy.

Our goodbye is awkward. There are no promises of the future. No, "I'll call you."

Bella drives off. As I'm approaching the valet to retrieve my car I realize that I didn't even get her number. My only hope is that she put my number in her cell.

Then again, what would we say?

I have nothing to offer her, but friendship, and I don't have any "friends who are girls".

I know I could ask Alice for her number, but that would be opening a whole can of worms I'm not willing to deal with, especially with exuberant Alice.

I force my brain to think about the here and now and things that need to be dealt with today; the police and letting Jasper, my lawyer, know what happened at the rescue last night.

I'm dreading the call to Jasper because I know he saw me leave with Bella last night. He out of everyone will give me the least shit about it, but I'm sure he told Alice, ugh.

I call the police first to get an update. They have nothing more than what I told them last night. I'm not surprised. If this has anything to do with Victoria, some shady characters are involved and I wouldn't doubt if law enforcement is being paid off.

I take a deep breath before calling Jasper.

"Hey Edward, what's up? Did you have a good night last night?" He says with a teasing tone, it's starting already.

"Hey Jasper, yes and no."

"What happened, or didn't happen?" he continues to tease.

"Give it a rest Jasper. The rescue got broken into and vandalized. They even let some of the dogs loose. We...ah, I was able to find them, but it was a long night." That was close, hope he didn't hear the "we".

"I'm sorry man, that sucks. I'm glad you found the dogs. Was there much damage? Do you think it has anything to do with Victoria?" He heard the "we"...great.

"I just got off of the phone with the police. They don't have any leads, but yes, I think this has something to do with Victoria and the lawsuit." I admit.

"Well, this changes things a bit. This has gotten too personal. The rescue obviously isn't safe, so you're going to have to hire security. I have the number of a good company. I know that money isn't an issue so I also want you to hire a private investigator to dig up stuff on Victoria and her people. I use to have this great, trustworthy private investigator, but he retired recently. He left the business to his son; James is his name I think. I'll text you both numbers. Get back to me after you talk to them. Sorry about all this Edward. I was hoping this whole lawsuit would have been resolved by now." That's the most I've ever heard Jasper speak at one time, he's in lawyer mode.

"It's not your fault Jasper, but thanks. I'll make these calls and let you know what they say."

We hang up and my thoughts immediately go to Bella. What is she doing? How is Buddy? Oh, Buddy. I didn't even think of him earlier. I hope she got someone to let him out this morning. I'm sure she did.

This would be a good reason to call her, to ask about Buddy. "No, NO. Get a grip Cullen", I tell myself sternly.

I've got almost a week before the next Cullen Sunday dinner. I'm going to spend the week avoiding my family and friends. I need some alone time to sort out my feelings and get a handle on my seemingly teenage hormones and emotions, especially if I have to deal with their teasing and innuendos.

The week flies by.

Security is in place at the rescue and I've met with the investigator. He's a little slimy, but aren't they all? He got some background information from me; what I do, where I go, who I see. The usual I'm sure. He said he'll be watching me as well as them to see if I'm being followed or watched.

That thought had never even occurred to me, another reason to stay away from Bella. She doesn't need to be dragged into this.

I wake up on Sunday morning, having dreamed about Bella again. Every night this week she had invaded my subconscious. Her smell, her laugh or her physical assets dominate my dreams. She is getting to me through my body's senses.

I've spent a major part of my week strengthening my resolve about Bella. She is perfect, amazing, being with her, even just thinking about her, does things to me I've never experienced before. But the reality of it is that a relationship, beyond friendship, is not in the cards for us. Plus, I have no idea if she even thinks of me, at all.

Since that first Sunday I invited him, Jasper has been at every family dinner. He and Alice have become inseparable. They are really cute together, and very happy. I'm happy for them, but I don't enjoy our dinner conversations like I use to. Everyone is paired up now, except me.

I've become more of a presence in the kitchen recently. I'm learning to cook from my mom and dad. The upside of my situation, I guess.

Before I walk into my parent's beachside home, I take a deep breath and review my rehearsed lines.

"I offered to walk her home because it wasn't right for her to walk alone at that time of night." "I needed to borrow her car, it was an emergency." "She insisted on coming." "We were up all night." Answers that give no room for interpretation or elaboration, or so I hope.

I walk in and yell, "Hey, I'm here." Before the words leave my mouth, I know she's here. Don't ask me how I know, but I do. Her car is not parked outside. I checked just in case. But I know she's here.

I freeze and debate turning around and walking right back out the door, but before I can decide my Mom comes out of the kitchen and gives me a comforting hug; like she knows or something. Mom's...

"Where are they?" is all I can think to say.

"They're out in the spa honey, you should join them." As much as I'd like to see Bella in a bathing suit, I don't think I can take it right now. I feel my resolve slipping away.

"What are you cooking?" Focus my thoughts; focus on anything but barely dressed Bella.

"Tonight is Italian honey. It's almost ready; it's an easy one tonight. Go join everyone outside." Crap.

"Sure you don't need any help Mom?" I almost whine. Save me, save me. Is what I'm thinking.

"No, honey. Go on now." She turns and walks back into the kitchen.

Think, think. I'll stall. Bathroom. I'll waste time in the bathroom. I can only think of one way to truly waste time in the bathroom, but that is just too crude, although, it would relieve the mounting tension in my shorts.

I go to the nearest bathroom which is attached to the guest room on the main level. Unfortunately, the window of this room looks right out onto the patio with a perfect view of the spa.

There she is, just like I knew the second I walked in.

She's laughing, having a good time with my sister and friends. I'm a little resentful because that should be me out there. If she wasn't here it would be me. But truthfully, it's my problem, not hers. I could be out there with them, if I thought I could trust myself, or my body's reaction to her.

I know I made the right decision to stay inside, if my hardness is any indication of how I would react. I can only see her from the top of her breasts up and my body's at full attention.

She rises up to reach her drink and I get a front view from the belly button up. She is perfect. What I would give to touch her warm, wet skin.

I force myself to turn away from window and adjust my now uncomfortable bulge. Maybe I should reconsider relieving pent up tension or this could be a really long night.

I walk into the bathroom very conflicted. I lock the door and sit on the toilet lid, putting my head in my hands. I'm so screwed.

Even if my brain wants to be strong about this and act all normal around her, my body is not going to let me, especially when she's all shiny and wet and toned, in a bikini.

My hand goes down and starts stroking my length through my shorts. But it just seems wrong.

I start thinking and visualizing things that will make this situation in my pants go away, and quick. Dinner should be ready soon.

I got one, "Grandma Cullen in a swimsuit. Grandma Cullen in a swimsuit. Grandma Cullen in a swimsuit."

I keep chanting this, in my head, out loud, I don't care.

"Grandma Cullen in a swimsuit. Grandma Cullen in a swimsuit. Grandma Cullen in a swimsuit."

Finally, I've fully calmed down. I look in the mirror. I look spent, with no happy ending to show for it; maybe later, in the privacy of my own home.

I quickly exit the bathroom and I crash right into something wet, soft.

Oh god, it's Bella in her swimsuit. Why isn't her towel wrapped around her?

I have to grab her by the waist to keep her from bouncing off of my chest and onto the floor.

"Shit," just slips out of my mouth.

"Oh, Hi, Edward, sorry I didn't mean to bump into you, just changing for dinner." She says, like she's unfazed by our collision.

I can barely form a coherent thought.

"You okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?" She is looking up at me with concern. It dawns on me that I'm still holding her body to mine. I quickly release her.

"No, sorry about that." I mumble as I bolt from the room. Smooth really smooth Edward. And hard, definitely hard for her, again. This is going to be a long night.

**A/N**

**Edward's worlds are colliding, she's at family dinner night.**

**What do you think of his reaction to all of this? **

**Thanks so much for reading and sharing your thoughts with me. I love it!**

**Btw~I was lucky enough to meet four people from this ff world at the BD2 premiere. Two of my most consistent readers/reviewers; Judy and Kim, Deb, from NH, who we surprisingly found followed my other story, and last but not least cejsmom, who I wish lived closer cuz she is one great/fun lady.**


	19. Chapter 19

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Chapter 19**

**Someone nicknamed him Dogward :)**

**BPOV**

When I drop Edward off to get his car at the Montage Resort, I feel so unfulfilled. I feel like we've left so much unsaid. I think that's the way Edward wants it, so I let it go.

I have more questions about this man now than when I knew nothing about him. He is such a mystery.

I turn the corner onto my street to see Jacob and Buddy out in front of his house. Not the easy, slip into the house without being noticed, homecoming I was hoping for.

I park in my driveway, gather my thoughts and slowly make my way down to Jacob's house. I feel like I'm doing the "walk of shame", coming home in the dress I wore yesterday. Jake didn't see me before I left for the party, so hopefully he won't notice or at least not say anything.

"Hey," I say, as Buddy runs up to greet me. "Was Buddy freaked out this morning when you got there to let him out?"

"No, he seemed fine. He didn't make a mess in your bathroom either." Jacob offers in a cold tone, not looking up when he speaks.

"Well, thanks. I really appreciate you helping me out last minute."

"No problem, Bella. Is everything ok?"

"Things are fine now. It was just a really long night. I'm going to go rest. Thanks again, Jacob." I pick up Buddy and start to walk away, hoping the excuse of fatigue will satisfy for the lack of details I offered about my night.

"Bella, is it a guy?" He blurts out, apparently not satisfied with my answer.

I turn back to Jacob, not hiding my annoyance. "He's just a friend that needed some help Jacob, nothing more. You shouldn't be worried about my love life anyway."

"Oh." He says, obviously hurt.

"Listen, Jake. You know I care about you. I'm just not looking for a romantic relationship with anyone. I thought you knew that? I appreciate your help, but please don't make me feel like I have to explain myself just for helping a friend."

"Sorry, Bella. I just thought..."

"Thanks for caring, but I need to go; I'm the walking dead here." I interrupt him. I don't want to do this now, or ever for that matter. He lets me walk away this time. I need to find a new dog sitter.

I get Buddy settled, take a quick shower and flop on the bed, exhausted. I fall asleep immediately_._

_It's foggy or dark or both. I can't tell. I'm walking towards something, but I don't know why. I can't see anything, but I know I have a destination. The ground is uneven, damp. I stumble; I'm even clumsy in my dreams._

_I can barely hear something in the distance. It's him. Something is wrong, very wrong. I speed up my pace and move with more purpose, heading towards the sound. I hear him yelling, "No," over and over again. He's saying other things, but his words are muffled._

_I come to a door, just a door. I'm scared, but I have to open it. I have to get to him. The door is heavy and it takes all of my strength to make it budge. I slip inside the door and I can see him, thrashing about in a bed. I run to his side. I must wake him; help him escape his torturous nightmare._

_I grab his shoulder and shake him gently, nothing. I poke him, nothing. I rub his back, nothing. He's still thrashing and yelling._

_Maybe I can't help him this time? Maybe I'm too late? Maybe he can't come back from this dark place he's gone to?_

_I have to try one more time. I lean down and kiss his cheek, while whispering in his ear, "Come back to me. Edward; come back please. I'm here, I'm here for you, just tell me what I can do."_

_He jumps up in the bed, I move just in time to avoid our heads from colliding. He stares through me, penetrating into my soul. There is such pain, sorrow, horror, and defeat in his eyes. It's heartbreaking. I stare back, not with pity, but compassion. He opens his mouth to say something and..._

I wake up, my heart is pounding, I'm sweating and I feel sick to my stomach. I roll over to see Buddy resting comfortably on the bed next to me. At least one of us can get some peace.

That was a horrible dream. I dream of Edward a lot, but it's usually pleasant and sexually charged. This was anything but, it was just disturbing.

That look in his eyes is the same distant look I saw in every photo of him as a child. I can't help but feel sad.

I'm so tempted to call Alice and ask what is up with her brother. She warned me about him. She referred to him as, "complicated." And I thought I was complicated.

I put on some upbeat music and straighten around the house. I still feel exhausted, drained. I make some food and sit down on the back porch to do some reading. Hoping it will help me feel better.

I must have dozed off because I'm cold and it's nearly dark outside. I head into the house and throw on a hoody and some fuzzy socks. My brain feels about as fuzzy as my socks right now. Naps do that to me sometimes, most of the time.

**~MMB~**

Midweek Alice calls me, thank god. I've been dying to call her, but was hoping she'd call me instead.

"Hi, Alice, how are you?" Hiding my excitement at possibly getting some scoop on Edward.

"Good, Bella, how are you? Did you have fun at the Gala? I heard your night was eventful." I can't tell if she's teasing me or not.

"The Gala was great, thanks again for inviting me. It was an eventful night. Are things okay at the rescue?" I had to ask, but I try to keep it neutral. I ask about the rescue, not Edward.

"I guess they are. I think Edward's been avoiding me all week. He talked to Jasper about it; Jasper is his lawyer you know, for his lawsuit. Jasper made him hire security to keep an eye on the place, especially when Edward isn't around."

"What lawsuit?" I question.

She pauses, before answering. "Opps, he didn't tell you about that. You can't say anything to anyone. I just broke confidentiality between Jasper and him, crap. Me and my big mouth." she says obviously flustered.

"Don't worry Alice, I won't say anything. Is everything okay, you know with Edward?" Yes, I go there, so much for keeping it neutral.

"We hope it will be. He's got some rotten neighbors over there; they want him and the rescue gone. It seems they'll do anything to make that happen."

"Did these neighbors have something to do with what happened at the rescue the other night?"

"Edward and Jasper both think it does, thus the heightened security. You really can't say anything Bella. They would both kill me. Edward is an extremely private person. He would be really upset with me. I just thought since you went back to his place that he probably told you. I really should stop talking now, before I say even more stuff I'm not supposed to say."

"Really, Alice, it's okay. Who would I tell anyway? I just hope everything works out. Let me know if there's anything I can do."

"That's sweet, thanks. And thanks for helping Edward the other night. I know it means a lot to him. Those animals are everything to him."

"I'm glad I could help. He does have a special bond with those animals doesn't he?"

"He lives for them. He really does." I can hear the sadness in her voice.

"Hey, do you want to come to dinner at my parents on Sunday. We have a Cullen Sunday Dinner every week. I'd love you to come. Rose, Emmett and Jasper will be there too, and Edward of course."

The thought of seeing Edward again makes my stomach start doing flips. "Sure, what time? Can I bring anything?"

"We eat around six, but get there any time after four. We'll hang out in the sun and use the spa before dinner, so just bring your bikini."

Bikini, ugh, not my favorite thing to wear, but I want to be a good sport. "Okay, sounds great. See you in a few days."

We hang up and all I can think about are those abs; haven't seen them for a while. I miss them. And knowing the man behind the abs makes them even more appealing.

The rest of the week drags. I can't shake this feeling that I'm being watched. That feeling when the hairs on your neck stand up for no apparent reason. I find myself looking over my shoulder, locking doors and windows and not wanting to leave the house, especially at night.

I'm not a paranoid person. I think about telling my neighbors, Jake and Angela, but it's probably just my wild imagination.

On Sunday morning I wax, trim, and shave. I try on every bikini I have before settling on the white one. I think it looks the best. It accentuates my assets, so to speak.

I take Buddy out front for one last time before leaving for the Cullen's. I notice a car parked across the street. I know it doesn't belong to any of the neighbors, and then it dawns on me that I've seen that exact car a few times this week. Cue the raised hairs on my neck. I can see someone sitting in the driver's seat, but it's just a vague outline. The windows are tinted very dark. It's impossible to tell if the driver is a man or a woman.

I grab Buddy and go back inside quickly, locking the door behind me. I debate whether to leave the house at all, but decide to ask Alice to pick me up on her way to her parent's. If Alice gives me a ride I won't have to come home alone later tonight. Alice and her estrogen fed super energy can protect me.

I'm happy to see Alice and I'm grateful for her company. Maybe I've just spent too much time alone this week. We arrive at her parent's beach house just after four.

"Hi Bella, how are you dear? I'm so glad you could come." Esme says graciously, as we enter the spacious kitchen.

"I'm fine, Esme. Thanks for having me for dinner, it smells great. Do you need any help?" I offer.

"No, this is any easy dinner to prepare. And I have Carlisle's help. He's around here somewhere, but thank you for offering." she says.

Esme turns to Alice. "Alice, are you still planning the annual Cullen kids sleepover weekend next week?"

It's a mouthful, so I turn to Alice hoping for some clarification. "Yep, that's the plan." Is all she says; I can tell she's trying not to smile.

Esme must notice the confused look on my face and says, "Carlisle attends a medical conference in England every July. When Alice was a baby she and I would go with him. That is until the year we brought Edward home. When the kids moved out on their own Carlisle and I resumed our annual trip to the conference together. The kids like to throw a party here when we're gone. They tell us it's to keep an eye on the place." she chuckles.

I hear a sharp intake of breath while Esme is talking. I look towards the sound. Alice is staring at her mom with a shocked look on her face. "Mom," she says in a scolding tone.

Esme nervously looks from Alice to me and back to Alice and shrugs. Alice just shakes her head.

All I can think is that Esme said something she wasn't supposed to say. And frankly I'm shocked at the information. She just let slip that they "brought Edward home" from England. If Alice was a baby then he had to have been 4 or 5 years old. I had no idea Edward was adopted. Is Alice adopted too?

Alice leads me into the guest bedroom where I can leave my things while we're in the spa.

"Sorry about my mom, Bella, she sometimes talks before she thinks."

"It's alright Alice." Here's my chance to ask. "Wow, Edward is adopted, are you adopted too? You don't have to answer if it's too personal." I stammer.

She takes a deep breath before speaking. "No, I'm not adopted. Mom and Dad had trouble having children. When I finally came along they were perfectly happy to have just one child. But when they saw Edward, they knew he was their son. They fought hard to bring him here from England. It was very...involved."

"How many years apart are you and Edward?" I ask.

"He is three years older than me. I don't remember a time when Edward wasn't my brother. Bella, you need to understand that we don't talk about any of this. Edward does not like to talk about being adopted or anything about England. That's kind of why we throw this sleepover party every year, to keep Edward occupied, you know to distract him." She touches my arm when she says this, emphasizing the importance.

"I understand, Alice." I nod. This is a lot of information to absorb. My head is spinning. It does solve the mystery of why there are no baby pictures of Edward.

Alice wasn't joking when she referred to her brother as "complicated." I've got some other words to describe him too; gorgeous, humble, compassionate, caring, intense, mysterious, broken and complicated, definitely complicated.

While I'm changing into my bikini I make a decision. I'm not relationship material, and neither is he. But I want to be a friend to Edward. He is an amazing man with a huge heart, but he only lets a few people in. I want to be one of those people.

Rose, Emmett and Jasper arrive soon after Alice and I have gotten in the spa. Jasper gets everyone drinks before he joins us. The conversation is light, no one says anything about me staying at Edward's on the fourth. No one mentions Edward at all.

I keep looking towards the door. Any minute I expect Edward, in all of his hard abs glory, to walk out onto the patio and join us in the spa.

I'm disappointed when Carlisle gives us the ten minute warning for dinner.

It's nearly six and there's no sign of Edward. Now I'm not sure if he is even coming. I waxed for nothing. I need to stop thinking about him that way. You waxed for yourself, I tell myself.

I dry off and walk into the guest bedroom to change. The door to the attached bathroom is closed. I know someone is in there because I can hear someone talking, a man. I stand close to the door and try to listen to what he is saying. I can't make it out completely. Something about Grandma and a swimsuit, I think, but I can't make sense of it.

When the door abruptly opens I have no time to move out of the way. He runs right into me. I bounce off of his hard chest, and start to fall backwards.

His strong hands grab me by the waist and pull me flush against his body. Everywhere our bodies are touching and it feels like it's on fire, and that happens to be my entire bikini clad front side. A burning sensation radiates from the center of my body. Having him this close, breathing him in, makes my head spin.

I want to melt against him and give into the amazing sensations of our bodies molded together. But that's not the person I want to be for Edward. I want to be his friend; to be reliable, consistent, there for him, not some adolescent girl who can't control herself.

I calm my breathing, steady my voice and say nonchalantly, "Oh! Hi, Edward, sorry I didn't mean to bump into you. I'm just changing for dinner."

He just stands there, staring at me, not moving. He's still holding me tightly to his hard body. Maybe I hurt him? "You okay? I didn't hurt you, did I?"

He quickly releases me, apologizes and practically runs from the room.

Well, that went well. I think I just frightened the poor man.

Wow, his body is hard.

**A/N**

**More of Edward's past. Many of you guessed he was adopted.**

**They think Victoria is involved with the break in at the rescue. What do you think?**

**And how about good old Jacob?**

**A teaser for chapter 20 should be up on fictionators today.**

**Thanks so much for reading and sharing your thoughts with me :)**


	20. Chapter 20

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Chapter 20**

**EPOV-Dogward/Brokenward**

I bolt from the bedroom like a scared child. I'm not feeling very mature right now or very in control. Just that small amount of physical contact with Bella and my body reacts like an adolescent boy.

I take a minute to calm myself before joining everyone at the table. If she can be all nonchalant about that, so can I.

"Edward, when did you get here? Have you seen Bella?" Alice chirps.

"Hi, Alice." I give her a sisterly hug. "I think Bella is changing for dinner."

Alice giggles and Emmett raises his eyebrows at me.

Of course there are only two unoccupied chairs at the dinner table and they're next to each other. I think there are forces at work here trying to push Bella and me together. I could do worse, and she can do better - my inner voice so kindly reminds me.

Bella joins us looking beautiful as always. Her hair is in a ponytail. Her skin is still flushed from the heat of the spa. She's wearing shorts, short shorts and a tank top.

I don't participate much in the dinner conversation, trying to prevent myself from saying something stupid or something that could encourage questions about Bella staying the night at my apartment.

Rose, who has a tendency to keep her distance from people, must really like Bella because she includes her in the conversation by asking her about her job. Bella lights up when she talks about writing and traveling. I'm selfishly glad to hear that she has no immediate plans to travel. Her publisher has her compiling past articles for a potential book deal.

I'm trying to be an attentive listener when she's talking. I think I'm doing a pretty good job at seeming impassive, until Jasper elbows me and whispers. "Hey, dude, I think you're drooling."

My hand immediately goes to my face. I'm not drooling, but everyone at the table except Bella is looking at me with this goofy grin. What is wrong with them?

"Edward, are you staying here next weekend?" Alice asks.

"I plan on it. Mom, Dad, do you mind if I bring Booboo for the weekend? He's been a little freaked out lately."

"Of course not, we know you wouldn't bring a dog that would cause any damage."

"Thanks, I don't want to leave him for the whole weekend."

My parents start clearing the dishes off the table and head for the kitchen.

I start grabbing the glasses, when Alice whispers, "Who else is coming? Rose, Emmett, Jasper? Bella, you have to come. Don't tell my parents, but the whole weekend is one long party. We basically get here on Friday and don't leave until Sunday. We don't leave the house at all. We either cook here, order in, or just drink." She giggles.

"Hell yah," says Emmett.

"It's an annual event!" Says Rose.

"I wouldn't miss this for anything," says Jasper. He's never attended one of our "weekends".

I nearly drop a glass at the thought of spending the entire weekend with Bella while intoxicated, me or her. It's one of the few times I let loose; because I know I'm not driving or seeing anyone on the outside. One of the few times I feel like I can be myself.

Seeing my reaction, Bella says, "I don't know, Alice, I can't leave Buddy for the entire weekend."

"What about your pet sitter?" Alice asks.

"Well, that relationship is a bit...strained right now. I don't think I want to ask him to help with Buddy anymore."

"Mom, Dad, can Bella bring her dog too this weekend? He's little and cute and house trained." Alice yells. She leans over to Bella and whispers, "He is house trained, right?"

Bella nods, looking mortified that Alice asked our parents about Buddy. She opens her mouth, "It's o..."

"Sure, that's fine. We trust Bella's judgement." Mom yells from the kitchen before Bella can protest.

"Well, that's settled, Friday after work, here. BYOB, snacks, favorite game, movies, ipods, surfboards, swim suits, or they could be optional; just kidding brother." She says. I think I threw up a little in my mouth.

I groan inwardly, another swimsuit moment. I'm dreading it as much as I'm excited for it.

When I bring the glasses into the kitchen my mom says, "Bella is a really sweet girl, don't you think, Edward?"

"Yes, she seems like a really good friend for Alice. Her calmness balances Alice out." I laugh.

"Edward, I think she's good for both of you," she says without looking in my direction.

Instead of encouraging that topic with my mother I go back to the table to retrieve more dishes and glasses. I over hear Alice and Bella talking.

"I don't want you to have to leave early, but I really need to get home to Buddy."

"It's okay. I don't mind leaving now. Let me say good bye to everyone and we'll go."

"You don't have your car?" I ask Bella.

"No, some creepy person has been hanging out on my street. I didn't want to come home alone in the dark."

"You thought Alice would save you?" I snort.

"Hey, I'm really strong." Alice pipes in, flexing her bicep.

"And annoying." I say just loud enough for Bella to hear. We both laugh and Alice huffs away.

"Bella, I'll take you home. I don't like the idea of you or my sister going back to your house with some loser hanging around."

"It's fine, Edward, really, it's out of your way," she protests.

"I insist."

I yell from the door, "Alice, I'm taking Bella home. Mom, Dad, thanks for dinner."

"Ready?" I ask her.

"Okay, just a minute." She says goodbye to everyone and grabs her stuff as I wait by the door.

"Edward, you really don't need to do this. I could even take a cab."

"Please Bella, I'm...none of us would let you take a cab. Just sit back, enjoy the ride and stop complaining." She grumbles and leans back in her seat.

When we enter her neighborhood I can tell she's nervous. She's on the edge of the seat, looking up and down the streets.

"What kind of car does he drive?"

"I don't even know if it's a he. I saw the car in the parking lot at the market the other day, and parked on my street a few times this week. I'm sure it's not one of my neighbors. I can see the silhouette of someone sitting in the car, but the windows are tinted too dark."

"Let me know if you see the car, we'll drive by slowly and you can get the license plate number." She nods.

"There it is." She points at a small dark car parked in the shadows across the street from her house. We can't really drive by without being obvious.

"Let's get you safely in the house. I have an idea." I say.

"Okay, just walk me to the door, please," she pleads.

"Of course, I didn't come all this way to drop you on the curb." I tease, trying to keep the mood light.

We walk straight to the door, she goes in quickly and grabs my hand to pull me in behind her. She slams the door and locks it without letting go of my hand. I just stand there like a fool, staring down at our joined hands.

"Edward." She squeezes my hand to get my attention. "What's your idea?"

"Oh, Buddy needs to go out, right? Let me walk him and I'll get the make, model and license while I'm out there. You stay locked in here and call the police if anything goes wrong."

"I don't like the idea of you... and Buddy out there with that creep."

"Keep an eye on us." I wink.

She grabs her cell in her hand and locks the door behind us. I can see her peeking out the front window. She's so cute when she's scared.

I walk down a few houses and cross behind the car in question. I walk past slowly memorizing the license number. Just as I'm walking past the passenger window, it starts up and zooms away before I get a look at the driver.

Bella lets me in the house quickly. "That was weird," she says.

"You know you should really call the police with this information." I suggest, writing it down for her.

"I thought about it earlier today, but there are a lot of old people on this street. I'm the newest and youngest owner. I don't want to seem like a troublemaker or anything. I'll go to the police station tomorrow and file a report. I don't want to draw attention to myself."

"Can I get you a drink or something?" She offers.

"No, I should get going. Are you okay here?" I ask.

"Um, yeah, I guess. I haven't slept much this week because I've had this feeling like I'm being watched. It's really been creeping me out, but I'll be okay." She's says, not very convincingly.

I stand there having an inner monologue with myself. I don't want her to be here alone, but I should get home to Booboo. I could sleep on her couch, but risk her witnessing another nightmare. I could ask her to come back to my place. I must look like a lunatic.

"Bella, I'm not comfortable leaving you here alone, but I don't know what to do." It's an honest statement.

"You could stay here, on the couch. I know it's not home, but I would appreciate it. I have ice cream." She smiles, trying to bribe me with food.

I'm struggling on how to get my point across to her. "Bella, when I don't sleep in my own bed I tend to have a very...restless night."

"Oh," she nods, understanding what I mean.

"What if you take the bed and I take the couch? Would that help?"

"Maybe, but no guarantees." I admit.

"There are no guarantees any night, are there Edward?" She asks searching my face.

"No, not really." I shrug.

"Then it's settled, you take the bed. I'll take the couch. Don't worry, I'm a heavy sleeper." She winks at me this time.

"I'll be right back," she says, going into her bedroom. I hear drawers opening and closing, water running. She must be getting ready for bed.

I walk around her living room looking at her photos, trying not to stress out about the sleeping arrangements I just agreed to.

There are photos of her when she was a child. She was a cute kid; big brown eyes, fair skin. She went through a wild hair phase, glad that's over. There's a photo of her and her dad fishing. He seems like a very serious guy, not a smiler, and one of her and her mom at the beach. She looks more like Bella's sister, than her mother.

Bella comes out of her room dressed in a too big t-shirt and tiny shorts. Her face is clean of any makeup, her hair is brushed straight and she smells of mint toothpaste.

She hands me a pair of men's sweat pants and a t-shirt. Why does she have men's clothes?

"I've had these for years; you can wear them if you want. You might be more comfortable. I had an extra toothbrush; I left it on the sink in the bathroom, right through my room."

I take the clothes and walk into the bathroom, closing the door. It's very girlie. Good smelling bottles of stuff all over the sink, tub and shower area. It reminds me of when I lived with Alice.

I change, brush and walk back into the living room. She and Buddy are cuddled on the couch under a blanket watching tv.

"I'm watching The Hangover, again. I love this movie. Come join me." She lifts the blanket and pats the couch next to her.

"Wait! Go get the Ben and Jerry's out of the freezer and two spoons, please." She says never looking away from the television.

I get the ice cream and sit on the couch. She puts the blanket over me, leans over, grabs a spoon and takes a bite of the pint in my hand. I'm mesmerized by her every move.

We sit there laughing at the movie, while eating the entire pint. By the time it's gone we've moved closer together, our legs are touching under the blanket. I'm glad the blanket is covering the way my body reacts to her.

I don't think she is even aware of how her sheer presence makes me feel. And then any physical contact with her sharpens every one of my senses.

She yawns and lies down on the couch, putting her feet in my lap. I put my hands on her feet, not wanting her to move them and come in contact with my ever present erection.

She jumps when my hands touch her. Does she feel the humming, electric sensation flowing between us or are her feet really sensitive? I test it out and gently rub her feet. She moans and closes her eyes. I bite back a moan of my own because my hands are tingling just from touching her.

The next thing I know I have a sharp pain in my neck. I move to stretch my neck and I feel her warm, soft hands. She rubs my neck, shoulders and head with her small, confident hands. I've never been massaged before. It's the perfect balance of soft and deep.

"You fell asleep sitting up on the couch. You looked so uncomfortable. Sorry for waking you, but go get in bed now," she whispers near my ear. Her hot breath caressing me, causing me to shiver.

She stops rubbing and comes around to the front of the couch. She puts out her hand for me. I hesitantly put my hand in hers and slowly rise from the couch.

Every time we touch I anticipate the aversive reaction I've always had to physical contact.

She walks me to her bedroom door and lets go of my hand. She turns to go back to the couch. Without thinking I grab her hand and pull her towards the bed. She's looking at me with a confused look on her face.

"I'll sleep on top, you sleep under the sheets. I don't feel comfortable kicking you out of your own bed."

"Are you sure?" She questions.

I nod.

She settles into her side of the bed. I get the blanket from the sofa and climb onto the other side, making sure to keep a distance between us.

"Good night, Bella."

"Good night, Edward. I'm glad you stayed."

It's still dark when I wake up. Warmth is all around me, her scent enveloping me. That's when I realize I'm in her bed, with her.

I look down my body; her hand is draped over my torso and her bare arm is touching the exposed skin on my ribs. Her body's pressed up against my back with only a cotton sheet between us.

I'm waiting for the freak out. I'm being intimately touched... but nothing. I'm not freaked out about being touched. Now I'm freaked out about liking being touched... by Bella.

Eventually I surrender to a deep sleep.

The most amazing peaceful sensation sweeps over my body. It's warm, soothing, healing, erotic.

As I become more alert, I realize this is not a sexual dream happening while I'm alone in my own bed, but a real erotic moment happening with Bella.

I'm lying on my stomach, she is sitting my ass, rubbing my back, neck and scalp.

Every part of my body awakens at her touch.

There is unmistakable warmth that emanates through her thin, tiny, shorts, as she sits on my ass.

Each time she shifts her weight to rub up my back she pushes my pelvis against the bed, over and over again. It is torture, but a wonderful torture.

Her hands slide up under my shirt, pushing it up out of the way. The overwhelming warmth of her skin on mine, the electric feeling that passes from her to me, is almost too much to bear.

Does she know what she is doing to me? Does she have any idea how much this is turning me on?

The feelings and sensations she is unleashing in me are overwhelming.

My breathing becomes erratic; my heart is beating wildly in anticipation.

If this continues my orgasm is imminent. I don't want to cum like this.

She/this feels so good, but will it repulse her if I give into the pleasure? Will she think less of me? Think that I have no self-control?

That part of my brain that keeps me from enjoying sex and intimacy is fighting with my body for control.

When I let slip a moan of pleasure and frustration, she lets out her own little moan. Her erotic sound almost causes me to explode.

She rubs my back, ghosting her hands up my spine, running her fingers through my hair, dragging her nails down my back to where our bodies meet. I can feel her hard nipples grazing my back when she leans forward.

It feels like she is everywhere. I instinctively thrust my hips into the bed creating the friction I crave.

I'm so hard, so confined. All I want is to turn over and let her touch me, all of me.

My body takes over and I start rhythmically thrusting into the bed, she starts rubbing her hot, wet center against me at the same time.

The moans coming from me are matched by soft moans from her; our movements are in perfect unison.

I'm harder than I've ever been. My body is craving release.

Then she whispers in my ear in the sexiest voice, "You feel so good."

The sound of her lusty voice sends me over the edge. I thrust hard into the bed, succumbing to the pleasure, while moaning her name.

She collapses on my back, our hearts beating wildly, our breathing erratic.

"Sorry," I blurt out.

"For what?" She asks.

"For ... for letting go like that," I barely whisper, embarrassed that I gave into the pleasure.

"I'm glad you did. That was, HOT," she whispers in that same sexy voice.

I let out a big sigh of relief, causing her to giggle.

For the first time in my entire life I have had a sexual experience with a female that doesn't leave me feeling shame, embarrassment, or regret.

I feel good, peaceful.

She did this for me. Her selflessness is so appealing, but then I can't find anything about her that isn't appealing.

She surprises me with a quick kiss on the cheek as she lifts herself off of me and heads for the bathroom.

I turn my head to get one last look at her long, toned legs, and tight ass.

"I need a cold shower, or ... maybe not." She shrugs, wagging her eyebrows as she closes the bathroom door.

"Now, that's HOT." I groan, rolling onto my back staring at the ceiling, trying to process what just happened.

Buddy jumps on the bed and onto my chest. "You don't like sharing your girl do you?" I tease. "Want to go for a walk?"

I change into my clothes from last night, put on Buddy's leash and head out for a quick walk. I get a few houses away when I notice a guy getting into his car. He abruptly stops, looks from Buddy to Bella's house, scowls at me, gets in his car and leaves. That was odd, I see what Bella means about not wanting to disturb the neighbors, they're a bit uptight.

When we get back to her house Bella is still enjoying her shower. I'm thinking she didn't go with the cold shower. Get your mind out of the gutter Cullen.

I need to get back to the shelter, back to Booboo. Last night was the first night he didn't sleep in my apartment since he was lost.

I grab Bella's cell off of the night stand, take a quick photo of myself looking more relaxed than usual. I program my number and photo into her phone.

I look around for a paper and something to write with. I ponder what to write and decide to go with one word, "Thanks." I leave the note by her phone and head home, with a satisfied smile on my face.

**A/N**

**An unexpected citrusy moment!**

**So, who's watching Bella? Some of you shared your theories last chapter.**

**A drunken weekend together... this could be good!**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing. I really do love to hear your thoughts :)**


	21. Chapter 21

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward**

**Chapter 21**

**BPOV**

The night of the Cullen's dinner is...interesting. After our encounter in the bedroom, Edward is kind of standoffish. He doesn't talk much during dinner and when Alice mentions me coming to the sleepover weekend I see him flinch, obviously bothered by the possibility.

He sends such mixed messages because then he offers, no insists, on driving out of his way to take me home. He's sweet, kind and attentive, almost protective. When it comes time for him to leave my house and go home, I can tell he's conflicted about what to do.

I know what he's worried about. Having me witness one of his nightmares was probably a hard thing for him. Staying with me might set up a scenario just like before.

I think he warms up to the idea when I agree to sleep on the couch, but then we both fall asleep on said couch, watching a movie. He's rubbing my feet when I drift off. He has some magical hands as they lull me to sleep.

When I wake up on the couch Edward was sleeping all hunched over, my feet still in his lap. That had to hurt so I reach up to rub his neck to wake him. He should get to bed where it's more comfortable, not like here on the couch.

Touching him, as simple as rubbing his neck, is an experience and I get a strange sensation that shoots through my body when we touch. My flesh comes to life when he's near, and when we touch, it really is like something starts to burn, smolder.

It's damn near addicting. I can't seem to get close enough. I want that contact, but I'm pretty sure Edward does not feel the same way. When we touch he gets the weirdest look on his face, almost expectant. I don't know what he is expecting. I don't bite, often.

Rubbing his neck is my way of testing his reaction, when his guard is down. He responds positively to my touch. He seems to enjoy it. I'm still not going to molest the man, baby steps; to where I don't know.

When he wants to share my bed I about fall over. This is treading some dangerous water. I tend to lose my inhibitions when I sleep. I'm a tell all sleeper. You want to know something, ask me a question when I'm sleeping. Not good. But then Edward has his sleeping quirks too.

That's not all for me and my sleeping habits. I move around a lot and tend to maul whoever sleeps next to me. I thought the under/over sheet situation would help with that. Not so much. When I wake up in the morning I'm practically humping his leg, while the poor man innocently sleeps.

He looks so peaceful lying next to me on his stomach with the blanket down around his thighs. His face is turned towards me, lips parted, breathing steadily. He looks so young when he sleeps, vulnerable.

From this view I can really appreciate the roundness of his ass. His shirt is riding up so a few inches of his, tanned, tone lower back are peeking out. His arms are folded under the pillow, his upper arms, revealed. Strong.

All I want to do is touch him. My body is always sexually charged when I'm in his presence, but sex is not my intention, at all.

He mentioned yesterday that he's been sore since he did the repair work on the rescue. I want to touch him again, so I continue with what seemed to be okay with him last night, respectable, to both of us.

I start by lying next to him. I gently ghost up on the top of his shirt to his neck as I rub his neck and head. He begins to stir and I figure this will be a pleasant way for him to wake up. He did after all offer to stay with me and protect me.

My hands explore his back, neck and head. I avoid skin to skin contact as much as possible, massaging him through his thin t-shirt.

He seems to be waking slowly while quietly moaning. His eyes have yet to open, but I get the impression he's aware of what and who is doing this to him.

I don't know what possesses me to straddle his ass. I can justify it by saying it gives me a better angle at his whole back, but honestly I just want to touch him more. My intentions are not sexual in nature; however, my body is on red alert when I'm near him.

The second I put my weight on him his hips push into the bed and he moans loudly. I have to admit, it really turns me on.

Carefully gauging his reaction, I slide my hands up under his t-shirt, pushing it up and out of the way as best I can. I begin rubbing up and down his back, stopping to rub his neck and run my hands through his soft hair.

Every time I shift my weight forward to reach his shoulders and neck he either sharply intakes his breath or moans softly. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't hot to watch how his body reacts to my touch.

I haven't known Edward that long, but what I do know about him leads me to believe that he denies himself. It's almost as if this experience is something new to him. You know, intimacy.

The longer I do this pattern up and down his back the quicker his breathing becomes. He never opens his eyes, but I know what's happening to him. He's close to release.

More than anything I want to do this for him.

When he starts thrusting into the bed I can't help but join him. His body is so warm and strong. His arousal is spurring my own. I think I can have an orgasm riding him, but this isn't about me. I'm wet, embarrassingly so. I'm sure he can feel my desire through our clothes.

Both of us are breathing erratically, nearing release. I want him to give into the pleasure. I feel him holding back so I lean forward, my hard nipples grazing his strong, bare back. I whisper exactly what I'm thinking, "you feel so good."

That's all he needs to let go. He says my name when he cums. It's beautiful to watch, he's beautiful to watch.

I lie on his back, both of us calming ourselves from our unexpected tryst.

The first thing he does is apologize for enjoying himself; exactly what I thought. This man is too controlled. He doesn't let loose enough and he denies himself the simplest pleasures.

Hopefully, I put him at ease. I'm surprised by the progression of things, but I like it.

I'm hot and bothered at this point, painfully so. My throbbing girlie parts need some attention or some cool down time.

I don't know where my inhibitions go, but I practically tell him exactly that. I tell him I need a cold shower, or not. I go with the not...

After my lengthy shower I'm disappointed to see that Edward has left. Not that I expected him to stay, that could be awkward.

He left me a note of "thanks" that said exactly that. I don't know how I feel about this.

I think he took Buddy out while I was showering, because he has no sense of urgency to go outside now. Besides, Edward is very considerate of the animals, I'm sure Buddy would be a priority to him.

My phone buzzes later in the day revealing a cute, post orgasm photo of Edward programmed into my phone. I can't help but smile at his messy morning hair and smirky grin. He must have programmed my number into his phone.

_*Did you enjoy your shower? E_

I have to laugh, he's been thinking about my comment, and me in the shower.

_*I did, very much. Thank you. B_

_*No, thank you. E_

_*You seem to be thanking me a lot lately. B_

_*You keep giving me reasons to thank you. E_

_*Is it okay that I give you reasons to thank me? B_

_*ABSOLUTELY! E_

Oh, caps even. I don't know what to make of this flirt texting. It goes on all week. We never talk, just text. We do text about the party this coming weekend. It seems the boys will be surfing. I can't wait to see Edward surf. Surfers are very sexy to me.

Alice and I chat too. She suggests that we give each day a theme. We decide that Friday will be a Mexican Fiesta; taco bar and margaritas. She gives me an ear full about Rose and Tequila. I know I have to be careful with tequila too, history speaks for itself.

Saturday will be island themed. We plan to spend the day on the beach so that will be easy enough to dress for. I suggest we make Mai Tai's and drink them out of coconuts or pineapples. I saw it on the cooking channel. I tell her I'll get all the stuff for that.

Sunday will be Italian food and wine; a mellow last day of the weekend. I have some great ideas for this since I recently visited Italy.

On Tuesday I get a call from Jake. We haven't spoken since July fifth, when I picked up Buddy. He really annoyed me that day with his twenty questions. He asks me to come to the cafe for lunch one day this week. We decide on Thursday.

On my walk to Jake's cafe I'm a little nervous, and I don't know why. He sounded odd on the phone when he asked me to lunch. I hope things aren't going to be uncomfortable between us.

Jake is busy when I arrive. The hostess knows me and seats me at Jake's reserved table. I order ice tea and wait for him to join me. I watch him interact with the customers and his workers. He really is a kind person. Everyone loves him. The hostess looks at him like he's something to eat. I can't help but laugh.

Jake joins me at the table. "What's so funny? He asks, slightly accusatory.

I react by getting defensive. "Nothing you want to hear."

"Well, this is starting out great." He says dripping with sarcasm. "I knew this wasn't going to be easy, but I guess if we're pissed at each other it might be a little easier."

"What are you talking about, Jake? I didn't come here to be pissed. If you've got something to say, just spit it out." I can feel my temper getting the best of me.

We have a silent stare down until he looks away, takes a deep breath and says, "I saw your friend walking Buddy early the other morning."

It takes me a second to get what he's talking about. At first I want to explain myself, and then I just get angrier.

"Jacob, what I do, with whom, where and why are really not your concern." I say between gritted teeth.

"I mean really Bella. I saw his car and yours. Did he spend the night? Is he your boyfriend? I thought you didn't do relationships? And there he is walking Buddy right in front of my house, flaunting it in my face."

"You know, Jake, no one did anything to you here. This isn't even about you. The fact that I feel the need to defend and explain myself says a lot about us. You have no idea what has been going on in my life." I have to stop to calm myself.

Neither one of us speaks for what seems like minutes.

"I would like to know what's going on in your life Bella, but you never call me or come around anymore. Is it because of him?" He sounds hurt, but I'm still pissed.

"No, Jake, it's not because of him. It's because of you. It seems like every time we talk lately you piss me off. I've been avoiding you to avoid this." I wave my arm across the table.

"I'm sorry I'm such a downer. I just...care about you, Bella, and I don't want to see you get hurt."

"I wish I could believe those are your only motives, Jake, but I don't. You have been a good friend to me since I moved here. But what I do when I'm not with you is my business. I won't defend or explain myself to you now, or ever. If you still want to be my friend, then you need to back off. You need to accept our friendship as just that, friendship, and let everything else go. Can you do that?"

"I don't know, Bella. I really don't know. I see green when it comes to you. I don't want to lose you." He says reaching across the table to touch my hand. I move away before he actually touches me. I will not send him mixed signals ever again.

"Well, Jake, let me know when you know. Until then, we won't be talking." I stand to leave. "Oh, and Jake, there has been a person in a car lurking on our block. If you see anything unusual call the police. I filed a report the other day. My friend stayed the night because I was freaked out about that."

I walk away without looking back. I'm a little annoyed with myself for giving him any information about Edward. I'm also annoyed that if I had wanted to talk to him about Edward I wouldn't know what to say. I think we're friends, he got a benefit. But we're not "friends with benefits." Are we more than friends? We've never even kissed. I'm so confused.

Friday doesn't get here soon enough. I get to the beach house early to help Alice get ready. I also want to get there before Edward. I don't know how to greet him. I've been thinking about this a lot. The last time I saw him I gave him a kiss on the cheek, after I gave him a little something special. A drink or two in me might make the greeting a little less awkward.

Alice has me put my stuff in one of the rooms upstairs. It looks like a guest room, but less generic than the one on the main level. She says that Rose already requested that room, and Alice has her own room here.

While Alice and I put up the festive Fiesta decorations and start the margaritas flowing, Buddy is in doggy heaven sniffing around the house.

We put on our suits and head to the spa with our margaritas. Alice is practically jumping with excitement when she talks about this weekend.

"This is going to be so much fun. We always play drunk Twister. It's actually easier when you're drunk. You're more bendy."

"What other games do you play? I brought some movies and made some playlists on my ipod that are themed for each of our days."

"We play the usual, you know, Pictionary, Charades, Spin the Bottle."

I choke on my drink. "Spin the Bottle?" I squeak out.

"Well, the couples usually play that. Edward is usually in bed when we play. He's a good sport, but I know it bothers him sometimes when he's the odd man out. You could be his partner!" She practically yells, making me jump.

"Oh, I don't know, Alice." I say shaking my head.

"We'll just see how it goes." She says beaming. There's a look of mischief in her eyes. It makes me nervous.

"Alice, don't push Edward because of me. I know how private he is. It'll be fine whatever happens."

"Don't worry, Bella. I know exactly how much to push my brother, even when I'm drunk," she laughs. "Anyway, I'm the one who gave him your phone number. He called and asked for it on Sunday, giving some lame excuse about wanting to check on your dog." She rolls her eyes.

I'm feeling all warm and fuzzy inside when the others start arriving. Rose gets here first. She joins us, drink in hand within a minute of coming in the door.

"You girls look like you're having fun." She says eyeing our buzzed selves.

"Yep, get your party on, Rose." I say lifting my glass. "To the Cullen kids party weekend, or whatever you call it." We clink glasses, laughing.

Emmett and Jasper arrive next. They start with Coronas instead of margaritas, but join us in the spa too.

"Your dog is cool, Bella. How long have you had him?" Emmett asks, scratching Buddy behind the ears.

"My friend Jake found him. He showed up at his restaurant one day a few months ago. We put up signs and ads, but nobody claimed him. Jake couldn't take him so I did. He's a good dog. Thank god he's not a humper."

They all burst out laughing at that.

"Who wants more margaritas, beers?" I say as I jump out and quickly dry off.

"I do, me too. A beer for me please. Yep, me too. Thanks, Bella." They all chime in.

I turn to go in the house just as Edward is coming out. He's wearing only his long board shorts, sunglasses, holding a beer, hair tousled, tan, abs and all.

I want to stop and admire him, but I can't because I have to pee. When I walk past him I smile, and give him a kiss on the cheek without thinking about what I'm doing. It's like a reaction to him or something.

He turns a dark shade of red.

"I guess I have some catching up to do." He smirks at me, causing me to turn my own shade of red.

I keep walking, mortified and relieved. Well, the greeting is over, good or bad. I don't know yet.

I do hear Emmett's voice say, "What the hell was that, Edward. How come you get a kiss on the cheek?" I don't wait around for an answer. I really have to pee.

**A/N**

**So, how do you feel about Bella's motives? **

**Her confrontation with Jacob?**

**Drunken Twister... Spin the Bottle...**

**Spin the Bottle** is a party game in which several players sit/stand/kneel in a circle. A bottle is placed on the floor in the center of the circle. A player spins the bottle, and must kiss the person to whom the bottle points when it stops spinning. It is popular among teenagers and is very embarrassing to most.[1] There are a very large number of variants.

A spinning bottle can also be used to decide the player for another game, such as Truth or Dare?

**Thanks again for all of your kind words :)**


	22. Chapter 22

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward**

**Chapter 22**

**EPOV**

I show up last to my parent's house for our weekend on purpose. I'm not ready to be alone with Bella or prepared for how we will greet each other, let alone act around each other the entire weekend.

The last time I saw her, we slept in the same bed, she made me cum while giving me a backrub and she kissed me on the cheek. How do you greet someone who made you spontaneously combust?

We've flirt texted all week. But how does that translate into real life? Are we different now? And if we are, do we want everyone to know by acting differently in front of them? So many unanswered questions, my head is spinning.

I also had to get the rescue dogs set for me to be gone for the entire weekend, extra security and all. I'd use that excuse if anyone asks why I am so late.

I take my surfboard around the side of the house. I can hear them in the back, probably in the spa.

I've been self-talking and psyching myself up for this weekend for days now. "You can do this, follow her lead, keep your hormones in check, stay in control, but let loose and have some fun." There's a fine line.

The only thing I truly seem to have no control over is my body. I can't keep it down around her. That's never happened to me, even when I was a hormonal teenager.

I muster the courage to join them in the spa. I walk out in just my board shorts and sunglasses, beer in hand...liquid courage. What I don't expect, right in front of me is a wet, slippery, tipsy Bella. She's drying off before going inside to get drinks for everyone.

The moment of truth.

Smiling, I lean on the door frame knowing she will have to pass me to get in the house.

Without hesitation she smiles brightly, says "Hi," kisses me on the cheek, and keeps right on walking into the house. I about fall over.

Emmett of course, reacts boisterously, "What the hell dude? Why do you get a kiss on the cheek?"

I'm rendered speechless, so I shrug. I take a long drink of my beer to hide my stupid grin.

God, what this girl does to my body, and when she touches me, kisses me. How can I be responsible for my involuntary reactions? I need to get it together.

I down my beer, and say, "I'm going for a swim." What I really need is cold water and lots of it.

I take some time swimming in the ocean to get my body back in check enough to join everyone again. When I return I catch the end of a conversation about some guy who's interested in Bella. I want to ask for details, but I act uninterested. I just try to piece together what I heard.

The guy's name is Jacob. They are good friends. He is her dog sitter, but they haven't been getting along lately. That's why she doesn't have somewhere for Buddy to go to this weekend.

The girls go in to make a new batch of margaritas and start dinner. "What's up with you and Bella?" Emmett inquires.

"Nothing, why?" I shrug.

"She seemed so excited to see you, and then bummed when you were down in the water when she came back out with drinks."

"I don't know why?" I say, not wanting to elaborate. Bummed, I wonder why?

The night isn't very wild, except for Rosalie. After the spa the girls throw on some shorts over their bikinis, nothing else. I almost go down to the cold ocean water a few more times during the evening.

I really wish the girls would put on shirts. I almost say it out loud, but I just need to go with the flow and relax. Tell that to my constant hard on.

Bella excuses herself from the table after dinner and walks out to the patio. I want to follow her. I want to follow her everywhere. But I mostly want to know what she's thinking. Is us being thrown together like this too much for her? Is she going to leave any minute because she's uncomfortable?

I stand in the living room and watch her walk to the edge of the patio. The sun has almost faded; just a glimmer of light remains in the distance. I grab my camera to catch the last of the sunset. What I get is a silhouette of Bella from behind, with a hint of an orange sunset in front of her. The dogs are at her feet. Booboo is following Buddy around like they are long lost friends. Once again a photo of her butt. I see a pattern here.

I put the camera away before she sees what I am doing. I'm feeling a bit like a stalker.

"Come on guys, time for a game. How about Twister? Edward, you don't have to spin tonight. We can have teams." Alice says excitedly practically bouncing into the room.

I am internally groaning. I never play Twister with them. I always spin and watch them make drunken fools of themselves. Now I am going to be a drunken fool. Although it seems like Bella and I are the least intoxicated of us. Rosalie is getting louder and blunter as the night wears on. I've heard about her and tequila, but never witnessed it in person. I hope Emmett takes care of her. I don't want to have to explain puke stains on the rug or broken lamps to my parents.

Twister is going as well as can be expected with six people well into the umpteenth pitcher of margaritas. Each couple starts in a different corner. I hope I don't have to straddle Alice in an inappropriate manner; the joys of drunken Twister with your sister.

The teams are evenly matched, limbs intertwined, jockeying for a comfortable position.

Whoever can reach the spinner does the honors.

"Rose, left hand red." Alice says as Rose stretches for the closest red dot, her bikini brushes against Emmett's massive shoulder and pop, out comes her breast. Not wanting to lose the game she just ignores it. The rest of us guys have more trouble with that than her.

"Rose, put yourself together." Bella yells.

"Hell no. I'm not losing this game because I've got big boobs. Deal with it people." She slurs.

All hell breaks loose when the other tit makes an appearance. Emmett practically tackles her feigning losing his balance. He almost brings all of us down with him. I don't know if he's s eager to cover her up or uncover her more. But they disappear into the guest room in quite a hurry; leaving Alice and Jasper verses me and Bella.

"Bella, right foot blue." Hovering over me, Bella twists and makes a leap for the nearest blue circle but loses her balance and falls directly on my ass, taking me down with her.

Jasper and Alice dance around claiming victory as Bella and I laugh at our awkward position. I can't help taking the opportunity to make a comment, liquid courage in my system. I whisper loud enough for only her to hear. "You like being on top don't you?"

She shifts over me so she can look me directly in the eye and says, "Depends who's under me."

Touche Miss Swan.

Alice and Jasper say their good nights and make their way back to her room.

"Oh, I forgot to ask Alice where I should sleep." Bella says.

"Um, the only rooms left are mine and my parent's, and we don't mess with their "sanctuary," as they call it. They say that's where all the magic happens, so I never go anywhere near their room now." I grimace.

"It's okay, Buddy and I can sleep out here on the couch."

"I don't think Booboo's going to sleep apart from his new friend Buddy. Do you mind if I sleep out here with you? We can leave all the windows open, kind of like camping." I suggest, fingers crossed.

"Sure you don't want to sleep in your own bed?"

"No, it's okay. This will be fun. Let me get some blankets and pillows." I'm giddy at the chance to sleep near Bella again, even if it is on the other leg of the L-shaped sectional sofa.

We get ready for bed in separate bathrooms. Me in sleep pants, no shirt and her in tiny shorts and a tank top. She really needs to wear more clothes around me.

"Whatever happened with that car you kept seeing around?" I ask.

"I went to the police station and filed a report. They weren't too concerned, but said they would send extra patrols in the area. I haven't seen the car since that night. I still feel a little uneasy at home. I'll probably sleep better tonight than I have since the night you were my protector."

I was her protector. I like that.

We chat about various things. Neither one of us are big talkers, but our conversations always seem to flow easily. I don't realize when I drift off to sleep.

~MMB~

I hear a giggle. It takes me a second to remember where I am. The light is bright in my eyes as I try to slowly open them. My arms are above my head and my shoulders are hurting. I try to move my arms and that's when I realize why she is laughing. Sometime during the night I had reached above my head and weaved my fingers through Bella's soft hair. I hope I didn't pull it in the night.

I feign stretching and try to extricate my fingers from her lovely locks. I really don't want to. I've been dying to touch her hair for weeks. Smell it too. During Twister I had gotten close enough to breathe in her scent. It was intoxicating. More than the margaritas ever could be.

"Sorry." I murmur sleepily.

"No problem, you were very gentle. I kind of liked it." She giggles again.

Not helping my morning wood.

I roll on my side, trying to avoid the tent like appearance in my pants.

"Good morning." I smile at her. It is a good morning, a beautiful day with friends, and a beautiful girl sleeping near me. I can't help but smile.

"What's got you so happy this morning?" she teases, as she stretches and rubs her eyes.

"Well, for one. I have plans for you today."

"Really? And what might those be?"

"I think someone needs to learn how to surf."

"Me? I don't think so. I'm pretty klutzy."

"You'll be fine. I'll be right next to you the whole time. It'll be fun."

"I'll think about it. I wonder how Rose is feeling this morning."

"Not as good as us." I laugh. "She put on quite a show."

"A peep show." We both laugh.

I get up to use the bathroom.

"It looks like you could use another one of my massages." She said nodding towards the bulge in my pants that I thought was down enough to be unnoticeable. I feel like climbing under a rock somewhere, but instead take a very different approach.

"I'm sure I'm not the only one who could use a "massage"." I motion towards her.

She looks a little shocked, but doesn't miss a beat. "See what you can do about rectifying that, will you?"

I have no response; she renders me speechless. I just walk away smiling, shaking my head. What the hell does she mean? Does she want me to touch her?

After a quiet breakfast with the hangover bunch we head down to the beach. The girls set up their towels and lie down. Emmett, Jasper and I head out surfing. The dogs run around. Thank you mom and dad for living at a private beach.

"Guys, we need to get the girls out here surfing with us." I suggest, hoping to rally support and participation from the guys.

"I've already tried to teach Rose. She's more of a lay on the beach kinda girl."

"Doesn't Alice already know how to surf?" Jasper asks.

"She use to surf a little, but not for a while. She might need a refresher lesson." I offer.

"You sound eager to get Bella out here." Emmett jabs.

"She said she might let me teach her. She's worried about not being very coordinated."

"The more she falls the more you get to catch her." Jasper teases.

"Same goes for you, Jasper." I respond, a little annoyed; where's the bro support when you need it?

I show off a bit on my board and head to shore for a breather.

"The water is great!" I say as I shake my hair over the girls.

"You look good out there." Bella says. She's been watching me. Queue the butterflies in my stomach.

"Now that you saw my skills, can I get you out on... the board?" I almost say my board, oops.

She pauses for a minute. At least she doesn't say no.

"Go ahead and try it, Bella. It's really fun once you get the hang of it. The swell is perfect for a beginner." Offers Alice.

"And the water is a perfect temperature." I add.

"Okay, why not. You won't let me drown, right?"

"Of course not, that would ruin our weekend." I tease.

I wish I had a rash guard for Bella, something, anything to cover some part, any part of her. But no, I'm teaching her how to surf while she's in a bikini. A tiny, somewhat see through bikini, that doesn't always stay in place. To say I'm a distracted surfing instructor is putting it mildly.

I swear she is rubbing her ass into me under water on purpose. Her facial expressions give no indication that she's doing it at all. Trust me I'm looking for any sign that it's intentional, but I see none. The cold water isn't enough to contain my excitement.

She's trying hard to learn how to surf. She wants to stand and ride a wave into the shore. I swear she stands up more than 50 times before she rides one in; me swim/running to keep up with her as she rides to shore. She is so excited that she throws herself into my arms when I catch up with her on shore. Wet Bella rubbing up against me, ughhh.

"Thanks, thanks, Edward for being so patient with me."

"You were easy to teach, very focused and determined." I laugh.

"Mai tai time!" She yells, grabs her towel and heads up to the house, Buddy following behind her.

"Okay!" We all say. She obviously has a plan.

By the time we all reach the kitchen, she's all set up. She has hollowed out pineapples, one for each of us, and is making a giant pitcher of Mai Tais.

"To good friends, good drinks and a great weekend." We toast our weekend with Mai tais served in pineapples with little umbrellas and all.

We eat chicken barbecued Hawaiian style; we have an abundance of pineapple for some reason. We all help cook and clean up, laughing the whole time.

After dinner the girls are really tipsy. "Hey, we need some party music, ya know, dance music." Alice yells and runs for her ipod.

They scream at a pitch that could call the neighborhood dogs. Booboo and Buddy hide I think.

The guys are sitting on the sofa watching the frenzy. Lights are lowered, music is set, drinks are refilled. I'm a little scared.

I'm right to be scared. Watching our girls bump and grind on each other, moving their hips to the music, seemingly uninhibited. I try not to look at my sister at all, ewww. I only have eyes for Bella. But to say it isn't a hot little show would be an actual lie. It is hot. Once again I consider a swim in the cold ocean. Instead we play a game of Spin the Bottle, with alcohol. Shots of Petron to be specific.

"Okay, here are the rules." Alice, always the bossy one. "You spin the bottle, whoever it lands on you either give them a kiss, a "real" kiss or a Truth or Dare. If you decline the Truth or Dare you have to take a shot."

"Siblings are excluded from the kissing." She adds.

"Really, Alice?" I say sarcastically. There is only one person I am interested in kissing here, and I certainly don't want her kissing anyone else. Good thing I know and trust these guys or this could be really painful to watch.

I'm nervous because I haven't really kissed anyone in a year? Maybe more? I feel pathetic right now. I wonder when Bella last kissed someone. Was it this Jacob person? How's my breath?

"Edward, you look a little nervous." Jasper whispers.

I grab a shot glass and take a shot, slamming it down on the floor. I can do this. My newest mantra. I have one more night with her and I want to make it memorable.

**A/N**

**How is Edward doing?**

**What do you think is going to happen during Spin the Bottle?**

**Thank you so much for reading and letting me know how you like it.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward**

**Chapter 23**

**BPOV**

I'm sitting here seeing that look on Edward's face again. I've seen it a few times this weekend. It's the "deer in the headlights" look; like he could flee at any second.

This entire weekend I've tried to be very nonchalant about everything. I know it's been difficult for him, having us forced together as a couple, when we're not.

Alice warned me that he would be like this, kind of skittish. She said for me to play it cool, because he really likes and respects me, and without any pressure from me he should be okay with everything. Is Spin the Bottle part of that everything? By the look on his face, I'm thinking not.

I thought we lost him that first evening when he went down to swim in the ocean alone. He had just gotten here and then he was gone, for a really long time, but when he came back he was his friendly self. Since then he's been really sweet and attentive.

Twister was interesting, a great excuse for me to get close to him. He has surprised me numerous times this weekend by being flirty with me, and with the sexual innuendos. I had comebacks each and every time. I think I dropped enough hints.

Last night he offered to sleep with me on the couch. Given his tendency towards nightmares, I was surprised he offered. He has his own room here, but he slept with me just the same.

I woke in the night to feel his hands in my hair, gently rubbing it between his fingers. He was mumbling something quietly that I couldn't quite make out. It felt wonderful. His touch does something to me. It lights a fire within me, yet it also calms me. I crave being near him, asleep or awake.

Whether on purpose or by accident, I saw his morning wood, and it was huge. I had to comment, but tried to keep it light, my turn to initiate the sexual innuendos. For a split second he looked mortified, but he came right back at me. Somehow we ended that conversation with me basically asking him to make me cum.

Learning to surf was a trial of my patience and resolve. It took everything for me not to jump him on his board. He was a perfect gentleman. I settled for rubbing my ass against him whenever I could get away with it. I think I felt it "move".

Now I sit on the floor in a Spin the Bottle circle watching Edward on the verge of a panic attack. His eyes are darting back and forth, like he's looking for an emergency exit. No one else seems to notice, but I'm actually worried about him. I lean over and put my hand on his knee. "Edward, you don't have to play if you don't want to." I assure him.

"Oh, no, I want to." He gasps. Not too convincingly.

"I won't play either. We could go for a walk or something." I offer.

He seems to relax a little bit. "No, it will be fun." He says, giving me a tight smile.

"I'll spin first." Emmett grabs for a Corona bottle lying on the floor in the middle of our circle.

"Jasper, Dare. Um, streak across the patio."

"Give me that shot glass, not drunk enough yet." Jasper shouts and downs the shot. Jasper spins.

The game pretty much goes like that; outrageous Truths or Dares, a few kisses between the couples. We've all downed a few shots to avoid embarrassment.

"Your turn, Rose. Thanks for the sugar baby. You taste good." Emmett boasts after he spun the bottle to Rose and messily kisses her.

Her spin lands on me. "Bella, hmmm." She pauses to think of a Truth or Dare, turns towards me and gives me this devious grin. I think she's about to ask me to do something really embarrassing which will result in me taking another shot of Petron. Then she winks.

Rose slowly rises up on all fours and leans across the circle towards me. Her eyes pleading with me to get what she's doing. It hits me. We're going to kiss.

I get up on all fours and meet her in the middle, smiling at her in understanding. This is for you boys.

I hear an audible gasp from Edward. "Holy shit," from Jasper. Emmett is silent.

We kiss, slow and soft at first. I haven't kissed anyone in a really long time and never a girl, but I know what we're doing here; getting our guys going. Edward's not mine to claim, but it's fun to pretend.

I lick her bottom lip slowly leaving enough room between our lips so the boys can see exactly what we're doing. She opens her mouth for me as our tongues do a slow dance, for everyone to see.

"Fuck me." Emmett blurts out. I start to giggle, inevitably ending our kiss.

"Sure baby anytime." Rosalie answers smugly as she sits back down next to Emmett.

I sit back next to Edward, glancing over at him. His mouth is hanging open, staring in the location where Rose and I had just kissed.

"Edward." I say putting my hand on his knee again.

He closes his mouth and slowly turns to look at me. His expression is priceless. Flustered, turned on, shocked.

I giggle again. Mission accomplished. He just shakes his head.

I spin the bottle and finally it lands on Edward. I've been stressing about this scenario. The couples are kissing each other. The only exception was Rose and I. Non-couples are doing Truth or Dare. I want to kiss Edward, screw the Truth or Dare. I've been wanting to taste this man since he was "cute abs guy" at the dog beach.

I hesitate for a fraction of a second, but out of the corner of my eye I swear I see Edward lean towards me, so to hell with it. I turn and lay one on him. He's so cute. He's eyes get really big the closer my lips get to his, but he doesn't pull away, another fear of mine. That would be humiliating.

He lets me take the lead on the kiss. I'm not as demonstrative as I was when kissing Rose. My hands wander, up his arms and into his hair. I've been dying to do that too. I think I hear him moan.

His lips are so soft yet firm. He tastes like pineapple and Petron and Edward. It is an intoxicating combination.

He surprises me with his tongue. It comes out to play a sweet game of tag in our mouths. My body is on fire, lit from my core. I don't want to stop.

I feel his hand hook around my waist and pull me closer to him. I think I moan too.

"Get a room." Emmett bellows. We pull away from each other, smiling and breathless.

I want a repeat of that performance, but it doesn't happen. Would he have kissed me if his spin landed on me? I think so, but I'll never know.

What did happen is we all ganged up on Alice. Poor thing. Even Jasper was Truth or Daring her instead of kisses. She is so wasted it takes both Jas and I to get her to bed.

"I love you, Bella. I'm so glad we met in... over in that other place," she waves her hand wildly. "You are good, Bella. Good for him. He needs you." She motions for me to come closer and whispers, "He has scars, Bella, scars. You help him. Okay?" She pats my head before plopping on the bed passed out.

Jasper just shrugs at her ramble. That was... weird.

When I get back out to the living room, Spin the Bottle is all cleaned up. Rose and Emmett are nowhere to be found and Edward and the dogs are out on the deck.

"Hey." I say as I join him outside.

"Hi. Alice okay?" Edward asks.

"She's out now, but she's gonna be hurting tomorrow." I chuckle. Poor thing, I hope she's not pissed at us.

"I'm going to sleep in my room tonight." He blurts out.

"Oh, okay. Hopefully Buddy will sleep out here with me." I try to joke, but I'm hurt. We had an amazing kiss and it's sending him hiding from me. What did I expect? They all leave eventually. I know better.

"Bella?" Edward says interrupting my reprimanding inner monologue.

"What?" I snap. It comes out harsher than I mean it to.

"Um, you and Buddy can sleep in there too if you want. You know the dogs probably want to be together and I would hate for you to be out here alone." He stutters out.

"Edward, I'll be fine out here, Buddy or not." I say as I walk back into the house. I don't want him to see how pissed I am at myself and hurt for thinking he was different, that this could be different.

"Bella, Bella, wait." He grabs my arm, pulling me around to face him. I don't answer him or look at him. I just wait for him to finish.

"Bella, I want you to sleep in my room; Booboo, Buddy or not." When I don't respond, he continues. "I like talking to you when I fall asleep, your hair is really soft and you smell good."

My hurt and anger just melt away when I look at his face. There is no malice there, no pretense, only sincerity.

"Are you sure?" I ask.

"Absolutely sure." He smiles.

"Okay, take me to bed." I joke. He laughs, thank god.

We talk comfortably laying there in his bed with only the moonlight dancing off the ocean as our light.

"Edward, I hope you don't mind that I kissed you instead of Truth or Dare."

"Mind?" He laughs. "That was the highlight of my night, my weekend. But I have to say your kiss with Rose is a close second. Man that was... hot." He groans.

"Glad you liked it. She's a good kisser."

"Better than me?" He shyly asks.

"That was just for show. We did it for you guys. If you know what I mean." I say.

We sit there in silence as I carefully pick my words to answer his question.

"Our kiss is most definitely the highlight of my weekend, Edward. Kissing you was...surreal."

"Surreal?" He questions.

I don't answer him; I don't know what to say. This thing between he and I is so confusing.

"Bella, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"Why are you still single? I mean, why don't you date or have a boyfriend?"

"I don't seem to attract the right guys. I've been in a few relationships, but honestly I have no basis or experience in my life of what a healthy relationship looks like. Until I met your parents I thought it didn't exist. It's just easier not to date than it is to be in a bad relationship." I explain.

"What about you, Edward? Why are you still single?"

"I think life just has something else in mind for me." He says looking at the ceiling, sadness in his voice.

"What do you mean? We create our own destiny. If you're not dating, it's your decision. Because lord knows you'd have women lining up at your door if you made yourself available. That or you'd be snatched up and married by now." I snort. What is with this man?

"Same with you, Bella. You're a beautiful person inside and out. I'm glad we met, even though it started off rocky." We laugh.

"What are we, Edward? I mean... I know we're friends, but a few things have happened that are more than friend-like." I don't know where my courage is coming from. Petron shots maybe?

"I've been wondering the same thing. To be honest, I was nervous to see you this weekend. I didn't know what to expect. I was pleasantly surprised that seeing you and us spending time together has been so easy, comfortable." He confesses.

"So we're friends, "special friends"? Friends with benefits? That sounds so cliche'." We both laugh.

"Special friends sounds good. What do you think?" He asks. I nod.

"Well, "special friend" is one of us sleeping on top of the covers here or are we both going under?" I joke.

"I think we're both going under. I like to live dangerously." He winks.

"Oh, and I'm dangerous?" I tease, bumping his shoulder with mine.

"Extremely, Bella, extremely." He smiles, but his tone is serious.

Well shit. Just when I think I've got him/us figured out, there's more to figure out.

Edward dozes off first. I can hear his breathing become steady and even. I roll over on my side to watch him sleep. He's so handsome, but he looks like a young boy when he's sleeping. I gently reach out and touch his wild hair, he sighs at my touch. My stomach flutters at the sound.

His hair is much longer now than it was when I met him in June. I like his messed up, carefree hair. It's perfect for my surfer boy. "My" what's wrong with me? Not mine, "special friend", I remind myself.

I wake up once in the night. I'm hot, really hot. We're both on our sides facing each other, only inches between us. Edward has his arm slung over my body and my leg is over his. He's sound asleep and looks so peaceful. I'm overheated, but don't dare move. I like being tangled up with Edward way too much. I snuggle a little closer and drift off to sleep again, with a smile on my face.

As I'm waking, I feel the heat from his body. I can tell it's morning and I'm still laying on my side facing him. His hand is roaming up and down body, from my shoulder to my thigh.

I fake still being asleep, because I don't want him to stop. I'm afraid the reality of morning will break the spell, pop the bubble we're in.

I sigh, hopefully letting him know I like how he's touching me. My skin is on fire where he touches, yet he's giving me the chills at the same time. I can feel my nipples hardening, poking through the thin fabric of my tank top.

Each time he sweeps up my body he gets closer to my breast. Just touch it already.

He finally grazes my nipple, sending shock waves directly to my clit. I swear it is jolted awake from its long, way too long inert state.

I involuntarily arch into his hand, a moan escaping me. I think he knows I'm awake, but I don't open my eyes. I just want to feel, to savour every sensation.

He gently rolls me onto my back giving him access to the other breast. He gives equal attention to each cloth covered peak, rubbing, rolling and pinching between his fingers. I want my shirt off and out of the way. I want him touching my bare skin.

His hand moves down to my partially covered stomach. When his hand comes in contact with the bare skin I visibly shiver. It's like nothing I've ever felt... electric.

I'm trying to enjoy the attention he is lavishing on my body. In the back of my mind I know he could stop at any second, leaving me frustratingly unfulfilled. For now, I appreciate what I have, a gorgeous man intimately touching me.

I hold my breath as he skims the waistband of my shorts, damn why did I sleep in so many clothes? He hooks his thumb under the band running his hand back and forth across my body. To my disappointment, he doesn't try to push my shorts down, just removes his thumb and ghosts the top of my shorts going lower and lower. My heart is racing, beating out of my chest. My breathing is irregular.

He trails down the center of my body, between my legs and cups my highly aroused center. I gasp from the sensation. He stops. Don't stop, please don't stop.

I feel his breath on my ear. "Is this okay?" He's asking permission. Hell yes it's okay.

"More than okay." I say in a breathy voice.

Now both of his hands are on my body on the outside of my clothes, either caressing, stroking, pinching or rubbing. His hands are everywhere.

My need for release is overwhelming me. My body is moving of its own accord. Sounds I've never made before are coming out of my mouth unwittingly.

I need more. "More, more please Edward."

His hand dips under my waistband again. Yes, yes.

He slides his hand lower, over my panties. He strokes from the front all the way down to my opening.

"You are so wet, so warm." He groans. I feel his erection against my thigh, spurring my arousal even more. I reach down to touch him. But he stops me. "This is for you, Bella." he whispers lustily.

My body is on fire. But I want him to touch me, no clothes, nothing between us. I want to feel him and I want him to feel what he does to my body.

I reach down and guide his hand under my panties. It's his turn to gasp. I'm bare, smooth as the day I was born. Surprise Edward.

He presses his erection into my thigh. "You're killing me here." He moans.

I smile, giving myself an internal fist pump.

He pushes up my shirt exposing my sensitive nipples, teasing each nipple with his soft hands. If this is what his hands can do, imagine his mouth.

He strokes between my swollen folds, circling my sensitive nub and my leaking entrance.

My orgasm is building. Just when I think I'm going over the edge he slows his movements just enough to bring me back from the brink. It's like he knows my body already.

"Please, Edward, please," I plead.

"What do you want, Bella?"

"Make me cum, please. It feels so good, please." I beg.

I'm teetering on the edge of bliss, hanging by a mere thread. Sweet torture.

His thumb takes over on my clit. Flicking, rubbing, light pressure, more pressure. I'm writhing and moaning his name, I think.

He slides one finger inside me and I'm flying, soaring, over the edge. I explode from within. My walls spasm and constrict around his finger as he continues to play my body, prolonging my orgasm.

It's the most intense thing I've ever experienced. I didn't know it could be like this.

I'm done; jelly, goo. I smile. Edward did this to me, for me.

He lies down next to me. I can feel his gaze on me. I still haven't opened my eyes.

"That was... words aren't enough. Thank you. I've never...". I pause.

"You've never?" He asks, apparently shocked at my revelation.

"No, no I have, but just not with anyone. I mean... no one has ever done that for me before."

He's still and silent. I peek at him and he looks shocked, mortified, trying to process what I just told him.

He finally speaks. "So, let me get this straight. No guy has ever um, pleasured you before?"

"Nope, never."

"Not by any means?"

"Nope." I state matter of fact.

He smiles and snuggles up next to me. "I'm glad I could be your first."

**A/N**

**So... what do ya think?**

**Did anyone expect Bella and Rose to kiss?**

**Did Edward step up to the plate or one of the bases I should say? lol**

**I always LOVE hearing what you think about my Bella and Edward :)**


	24. Chapter 24

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward**

*****My other fic, Most Eligible Bachelor, is nominated for fic of the month for May 2012 over on the Lemonade Stand. So exciting! kwiksurveys app / ?qid=56798&sid=fnk3xltd5zppdtx56798&new=True  
**

**Chapter 24**

**Things will be getting a little bumpy :/**

**EPOV**

I've never met anyone like Bella. I've never been drawn to anyone like I am to her. Like a moth to a flame.

It's about eight on Sunday morning and she's asleep next to me. We kissed last night. It was during Spin the Bottle, but it was incredible.

We're inches apart, on our sides, facing each other. I'm just watching her sleep, breathing steadily in and out, her full lips slightly parted. She's beautiful, peaceful. Her fair, somewhat tanned, smooth skin showing on her arms, legs and a bit of her flat stomach. She has slender, long legs. I've been fortunate to see a lot of her legs this weekend, in bikinis and short shorts. It's been wonderful, but a trial to my self-control.

God I want to touch her. I think she wants me to. I'm going over the events of the weekend trying to convince myself that touching her is the right thing to do.

Friday night; she kissed me on the cheek, we were very close playing Twister, we flirted, sexual tension, on my part at least. She slept with me on the couch, or did I sleep with her. Either way it was great.

She commented on my morning wood, which I thought was gone, but I guess my wood is never completely gone when I'm around Bella. I think she asked me to touch her, her exact words, "See what you can do about rectifying that." Sounds like an invitation to me.

Then there was yesterday; her running around in a bikini, rubbing up against me when I taught her to surf, Spin the Bottle. I wanted to go all caveman on her after she and Rose kissed, throw her over my shoulder and take her off to my bedroom. That kiss was incredibly hot, and they knew it.

When we kissed during Spin the Bottle it was like the planets aligned or something. I was scared for a minute that she was going to Truth or Dare instead of kiss me. That would have been incredibly disappointing. She's a good kisser, sweet, tender, soft. The best kiss I've ever had and it was in a room full of people. I can only imagine what a kiss like that could be like in private. Do I dare let myself go there?

The best part of the weekend apart from our kiss was our conversation lying in bed last night. I learned a lot about Bella; why she doesn't date, what she thinks of us. We vaguely defined our relationship as "special friends", friends that do more than friend-like things.

As I lay here I'm asking myself, "is this one of those more than friend-like" moments? Because I am dying to touch her, taste her, ravish her, pleasure her.

I need some courage, too early for a Petron shot I'm afraid.

I'll just touch her, innocent touches... at first. I feel a bit like a hypocrite because my intentions are anything but innocent. I can do this, I can do this. The worst she can do is tell me to stop, right?

I hesitantly reach my arm out and lay it on her arm. She's warm and soft. I lean in and smell her hair, coconut. She smells summery. I love her scent. I have since that first day on the dog beach. She was all pissed off and fiery, but damn she smelled good and looked good too... nice butt. I have photos to prove it.

I move my hand up her arm, barely touching her skin. I see goose bumps forming where I touch her bare skin. I'm encouraged by this and trail down her side to her thigh. Same reaction there, goose bumps. I continue going lightly up and down the side of her body. I'm watching her face for signs that she's awake, not liking it or liking it. And then she sighs, a contented sigh. She likes it!

Do I take this farther? God, I don't want to mess things up between us, but it's like I can't help myself. In the back of my mind I know this is wrong. We can never be what she deserves. I can never be what she deserves. But this is here and now. Am I that selfish? That devil on my shoulder says, "Hell yes!"

I touch closer and closer to her hard nipple. It's so hard to ignore, pun intended. It is like it's poking out to say "hi" to me. Just one touch. I'm hard just touching her clothed, sleeping body. I'm sick aren't I?

I graze her peak with the palm of my hard, it's so hard. She arches into my hand and moans. Good sign.

I only have access to one breast so I roll her onto her back. Fair is fair, both deserve equal time.

She's beautiful laying there, obviously turned on, nipples taut, breathing heavy, reacting to my touches. I bet she's wet. I want to know.

She's only wearing a thin tank top and tiny shorts, but it's still too many clothes. I want her naked. I want to touch every inch of her. I want her moaning my name when she falls apart.

I slid my hand down her body to her exposed flat stomach. So firm, yet soft. So Bella. Goose bumps again. I smile. I love the way her body reacts to me.

I want to get in her shorts. Baby steps, Edward. Instead I slide my hand down and cup her pussy. I can feel the heat radiating from her center. I want in there, in her. She gasps. I freeze. Uh oh, did I go too far? Panic rises inside me, damage control, damage control.

"Is this okay?" I ask. Please say yes, please say yes, I plead internally.

"More than okay," she sighs. Thank god.

Touching her over her clothes is not going to do it for her, experience tells me that. I want to give her a happy ending. I didn't risk it all for nothing. So I slide my hand under her shorts. Please no panties. Damn she's wearing panties. At least they're soft, this could work. I rub gently over her panties, and tease her nipples.

I want to touch all of her. I want her to feel me, what she does to me. I press my hard cock into her thigh.

She takes that as a hint to reciprocate and reaches for my hardened length. That would be amazing, for her to touch me at the same time, but no this is just her, for her. So, I stop her and tell her that.

I work her body like a well-tuned instrument. I watch her reactions; listen to her moans and sighs. She is beautiful, giving into the pleasure.

I can feel how wet she is and hot, so hot. God, I want to taste her, all of her. I bet she tastes amazing. Once again, I remind myself, baby steps.

I can tell she's close. And then she grabs my hand and guides it under her panties, moaning that she wants more.

She's bare, hairless. I almost blow my wad right there. Thank god I don't. She would think I had some kind of erectile dysfunction. But it's close, whew.

She's soaked, dripping and it is all for me. I take her to the edge and back numerous times. She's begging me for release.

I focus on her clit taking her to edge one last time and then I enter her with my finger. It's instantaneous. She shatters; tight, clenching, trembling, leaking, moaning. She is so sexy when she lets go.

I want so much more with her. More than I've ever wanted with anyone.

I continue stroking her as she rides out her orgasm. She looks satiated, glowing, smiling.

I remove my hand and settle down next to her. I want to lick my finger, but think that might be too much for her. I'm still watching her reaction.

"That was... words aren't enough. Thank you. I've never..." She starts.

"You've never?" I gasp.

"No, no I have, but just not with anyone. I mean... no one has ever done that for me before." She confesses.

I'm stunned into silence. Who has she been dating? Animals? Only in it for their own gratification? How could someone not want to see what I just saw, pure pleasure.

"So, let me get this straight. No guy has ever um, pleasured you before?" I question.

"Nope, never."

"Not by any means?"

"Nope." She confirms.

I smile. "I'm glad I could be your first."

"Me too." She sighs.

"Good because I've got a lot more things I'd like to help you experience for the first time." I boldly offer.

"Really." She says, raising an eyebrow.

"Yes. Really. Are you hungry? Let's get some coffee and go out on the patio."

"Sounds good."

I get up and stretch. Boner visible. She knows it's there, why should I hide it.

She licks her lips and says, her voice barely above a whisper, "Oh, what about you? I want you to feel good too?"

"Nah, I'm used to it. It's been like this all weekend. I've got the worst case of blue balls in history." I joke as I head into the bathroom.

**~MMB~**

"Are you sure toast is enough?" I question.

"I'm sure. I just need a little something right now to soak up the Petron." She giggles. "I wonder how Alice is feeling this morning. I can't believe they're all still asleep. It's almost ten."

"Asleep or something." I mumble. "Let's take the dogs for a walk on the beach."

"Sure. Do I need a swim suit?" She asks.

"Let's put them on just in case. I'll be right back."

I have a plan for this walk. I'm going to try to hold her hand. If that goes well, I might even try to kiss her, nothing overly sexual, just a chaste kiss.

"Can I ask you a question?" She asks as we descend the stairs to the sand.

"Of course."

"Why did you go down to the water for a swim right after you got here on Friday?"

I clear my throat, stalling for time. Do I tell her the truth? "Well, um, seeing you in that white bikini caused me to have a, um, reaction. And I either needed to take a cold swim or a cold shower. I opted for the swim." I say without looking at her.

"Oh." She giggles. "Sorry."

"Don't be sorry, at all. I'm surprised that was the only cold swim I needed with you barely dressed all weekend. Don't be sorry, I've thoroughly enjoyed myself, except for the constant pain." I joke.

"Pain?" She asks with concern.

"I'm getting used to it. Being near you causes things to happen like I'm thirteen again. I hope that doesn't creep you out."

"I'm flattered, in a creeper kind of way." She jokes, bumping my shoulder. "I've had some reactions myself this weekend. They're just not as obvious as yours. I'm glad that water was cold when you were teaching me to surf. That was... intense."

"Creeper." I joke, as I consider making a move to hold her hand.

"Edward, Edward." I hear her before I see her bounding towards us like a red haired plastic Barbie. She's running, in a bikini, but nothing is moving on her body. Plastic. I cringe.

"Edward, I've been hoping to run into you this weekend. My parents told me you were here."

"Hi, Tanya. This is my friend, Bella. Bella this is Tanya, a family friend, her parents live here too."

"Hi, Bella, is it?" She says looking Bella up and down rudely.

Before Bella gets to respond, I step between them . "What do you want, Tanya? We're walking the dogs."

"This will only take a minute." She says as she hooks her arm through mine and pulls me away from Bella. I know it's rude, but I want Tanya as far away from Bella as I can get her, so I let her drag me away. "Our big family party is in a couple of weeks and your family is invited, of course. But I was hoping you would come as my date."

"Edward, I'm going to take the dogs home." Bella yells from where I left her standing on the beach.

"Sure, thanks." I yell over my shoulder. As soon as I set Tanya straight on this matter, I'll catch up with Bella.

"Tanya, you know I don't feel that way about you. We're friends and that's all, I wouldn't feel comfortable acting as your date."

"Well, think about it. I'll make it worth your while." She says rubbing her bulbous breasts against my chest.

I step back. "I'm going for a swim, see you around, Tanya." I head out to sea, literally.

I figure I'll swim a few houses down, get out and catch up to Bella. However, every time I poke my head out of the water, Tanya is still standing on the shore; I swim down a house she moves too. I'm swimming against the strong ocean current. I don't know how much time has passed when I look up and she's finally gone. She must have given up and gone back to her parent's house.

The problem is, Bella is gone too. I was so rude, turning my back on her and walking away like that. But I don't know what choice I had. I had to protect Bella from the likes of Tanya. She's such a catty snob. I can't even think her name without cringing.

I climb the stairs to my parent's; beat, soggy. Booboo comes to greet me. "Hey, Booboo. Where's your pal, Buddy?"

I look up and see Alice standing at the top of the stairs; arms crossed, foot taping, pissed look on her face.

"Hung over, Alice?" I joke.

"What did you do, Edward? What did you do to her?" She demands.

"What? Who are you talking about?"

"Bella, you fool. She came back from your walk, alone, packed up her car and left. She was upset. What did you do or say?"

"Shit." I sigh. "We ran into Tanya on the beach. I was kind of rude."

"Well, Edward. Fix it. Fix it now. She's the best thing that's happened to you. You know it. I know it. We all know it. Don't screw this up." She yells at me.

"I know, I know. I'll help you clean up here, head home and call her." I say.

"You better, Edward. I won't lose a friend because you're an idiot." She huffs.

"Geez, Alice. I don't think I've ever seen you this mad at me."

"Well, just fix it, fix things with her." She says and stomps away. She must be hung over and hurting. Why else would she be this mad?

I call Bella when I get home, she doesn't answer so I leave a message. I call later, no answer, but I don't leave a message, I text an apology. What else can I do? Drive to Laguna? I will tomorrow if I have to, but not tonight. I'll give her a day to cool off. If she's anywhere as angry as Alice, I'm in big trouble.

I don't sleep well. Tossing and turning. I hate when someone is upset with me, and it's worse because it's Bella. I miss talking to her in bed, watching her sleep. I'm pathetic. We've only slept in the same room for the last two nights. My bed, my apartment has never seemed so big, so stark or so empty.

I'm tired when morning comes, and grumpy. I need to fix things with Bella, but I've got an appointment with the private Investigator, James. He has some information for me about my neighbors.

James pulls up and I meet him at the door. I don't like this guy. He's cocky and slimy.

"Hi, James. Come in." I lead him into my living room. "Let's hear it." I want this guy out of here, as soon as possible.

"Well, I've been watching your neighbors. They seem to be up to something, but I'm not sure what." He says as he lays out photos of the comings and goings in the adjacent building.

"I'll tell you what I'm concerned about." He continues. "This woman." He then lays out photos of a pretty young woman. She's at the grocery store, the bank, driving, on the beach, changing clothes in her bedroom, walking her dog. Some of the photos are far too intimate.

"You see. I think she has something to do with Victoria and these Volturi. I think she may be the key, an informant of some sort." He lays out photo after photo of her.

I'm stunned. The air suddenly seems too thick to breathe, the walls feel like they're closing in on me. "Bella."

**A/N**

**Dun, dun, dun...**

**Is Bella a 'bad guy'?**

******Well, Edward screwed up.**

**How is Edward going to fix this, if he can?**

**Thanks so much for the wonderful reviews. I love to hear your theories :)**

**Make sure you are logged in so I can respond to your review.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward**

**Chapter 25**

**BPOV**

God, I'm such an idiot. I let him in, more than I've let any guy in. I let down my guard, and he's just like all the rest of them. I thought he was different. I should know better. All my life I've watched my mom be let down by guy after guy. When will I learn?

Seeing Tanya in a bikini running up to us on the beach was like watching the opening credits of Baywatch. I swear she was in slow motion, perfect body, not a hair out of place, flawless. She's tall, long legs, tan all over, flowing hair and the twins are enhanced. How can I compare to her? I can't.

Edward's demeanor completely changed when she came up. He shut me out. Physically, he turned his back on me. He walked away with her, arm in arm.

When he did introduce the two of us, she gave me the bitchy once over. I saw it. I felt it. She gave me that, "what could he possibly see in you," look. And he didn't even notice or if he did, he didn't care.

I couldn't just stand there and watch them. She was all over him. So I took the dogs back to his parent's house.

The worst thing was seeing him in the ocean after Tanya was rubbing all over him. He was in the cold water for a long time. Apparently, I'm not the only one who does things to his body, making him need a "cold shower."

That hurt the most. For a minute I felt special. He made me feel special. Wrong, not special, just plain, ordinary Bella. Bella who is destined to be an old "dog lady."

"Isn't that right Buddy? We don't need a man, any man. We're just fine aren't we?"

Buddy lets out a breath putting his head down on the passenger seat next to me as we drive home from the beach house. He doesn't look happy either.

"Missing your friend Booboo already? I know, Buddy, I know." I commiserate with him.

The first thing I do when I get home is turn off my phone. I'm sure Alice and Rose are wondering why I left so abruptly. I don't want to talk to anyone, especially if it means fielding questions I have no answers to.

I putter around the house, walk to the local market to pick up a few things, read, listen to music, sit on the porch and watch tv. When I'm out I get a glimpse of a car that looks just like the one that was following me, but it drives away, so I try not to give it too much thought. I've got bigger issues on my mind right now.

I even try watching a movie, but nothing keeps my interest. I'm restless and I'm tired, from everything. The day drags along.

Before going to bed I grab an old friend and head back to the sofa. "It's just us and Chunky Monkey, right, Buddy?" Yep, that's what my life is reduced to. Me, Ben, Jerry and Buddy. Why are they men too? Can't the inventors of this delicious ice cream be Jen & Kerry?

The next day is Monday morning, a new day, a new week. Time to plan and get on with my life.

I have an appointment with my publisher next week regarding my book. I've got what I think are the best articles organized and ready to go. Unfortunately, the photographs from my trips are severely lacking in quantity and quality. I hope that's not a deal breaker with my book. I haven't been traveling while I've been getting this book together. Maybe the book deal falling through would be a good thing. I'd have to travel again. Get out of town. It would be a different perspective. I guess we'll see what happens.

Maybe I should start writing self-help books for woman. You know "Woman Power."

I have the perfect title,

**All You Need To Know About Men**

**Chapter One**

**STAY AWAY FROM THEM.**

**The end.**

That would be lucrative. I laugh out loud making Buddy raise his head and look at me. "It's called sarcasm, Buddy." I snort.

**~MMB~**

When morning comes, I feel like I haven't slept at all. Everything aches, my eyes burn and my head is throbbing. There's only one thing to do.

I put on my running clothes, shoes, and ipod. I'm going to kick my own butt and run on the sand, it's the best workout in the shortest time. The soft sand is merciless, just what I need.

"Sorry, Buddy, I'm running on the sand today, no dogs allowed. We'll take a long walk later." I say as I walk out the door. Forget the phone. I haven't even turned it on this morning. I'm still not ready to talk to Alice or Rose or anyone for that matter.

I push myself so hard when I'm running I start seeing spots. The negative mantra in my head spurs my self-punishment. "You are so stupid. Why did you let him get under your skin, let down your guard? Face it, you're meant to be alone. Men are no good." That or a similar version, on and on, over and over.

I'm gone for what feels like hours, the hot, high sun beating down on my head as I practically crawl up the hill to my house.

I'm so fatigued that I don't notice there's someone on my porch until I'm heading up the stairs.

I stop. We look at each other. No smiles. I look down and start to unlock the door.

"Where have you been?" He demands, breaking the silence.

"What does it matter?" I answer in a flat tone.

"I've been trying to get a hold of you all morning. Not to mention the phone calls and messages I left last night." He's angry. He's angry?

"You're angry? Why the hell are you angry? I'm the one who is angry. Who should be angry."

"After the information I got this morning, yesterday and Tanya are old news." He says, raising his voice.

"So glad you can just dismiss me and my feelings so easily." I mumble while walking to the kitchen to get a drink. He's right on my heels.

"We need to talk." He pushes.

"I need a shower; you'll just have to wait." I say as I walk into my bedroom. He follows.

"No, we need to talk now. I have one question to ask you and it's important."

"Will you leave if I answer?" I ask, facing him with my hands on my hips.

"Depends on your answer." We just stand there staring at each other, until he starts again. "Do you know Victoria Vulturi, or anyone associated with her?" He's clearly accusing me of something.

"What are you talking about? I don't know any Victoria anyone. As far as whom she is associated with, I wouldn't know, because I don't know her. Can I shower now?" I don't know why I'm defending myself. Exactly like a man, turning things around, making everything about them.

He stares at me, sizing me up or something. I'm tired, tired of this conversation. I just want to be left alone. He's not here to apologize, and even if he was, I don't know if it would matter. I close myself in the bathroom and try to make the hot water wash away my feelings, the stress of it all. It doesn't work. I'm just clean and smell better.

I'm startled as I exit the bathroom to see him sitting on the end of my bed; his head in his hands. He raises his eyes when he sees me.

I'm wrapped in a towel. He's embarrassed. What did he expect; I just got out of the shower.

"If you don't want to see me naked you may want to leave the room." I state as I drop my towel in front of my dresser.

That's the fastest I've seen him move. He hits his foot on the door jam on the way out. Karma. I smile.

I dress in my standard weekend attire, shorts and a tank top. I leave my room and head to the kitchen to make lunch. He's sitting on the sofa looking a little freaked out. I know that look. I ignore him as I walk through the room. He joins me in the kitchen.

"Bella, I owe you an apology."

"Oh, you owe me more than one, but really, Edward, it doesn't matter. Chalk the whole thing up to experience, a lesson learned. Then we can go about our lives." I say as I busy myself preparing food.

"You're right. I owe you many apologies. Let's start from the beginning, with Tanya, yesterday. I'm sorry I was so rude, I…"

I try to interrupt, but he stops me. "Please let me finish. I need to get this out."

"I wasn't trying to be rude. I saw how Tanya was acting towards you and I wanted to protect you from her. I wanted her away from you. That's why I let her pull me away. I honestly thought I could get rid of her quickly and we could finish our walk. But it took longer than I anticipated setting her straight on a few things. By the time I escaped her, you were back at the house already. I'm sorry." He ends breathlessly.

"That's one apology." I say without looking his way.

"I'm also sorry that I came here today uninvited. I'm sorry that I was angry and abrupt with you when we were talking before. I'm sorry I accused you of knowing Victoria. I'm sorry I even thought for a second that what James was telling me about you could be true. But the main thing I'm sorry for is that I've dragged you into my problems, that I've put you in danger because of me. That's what I am the most sorry for." He is leaning back against the counter, head hung, shaking it back and forth.

I've stopped and am looking at him because I'm totally lost. I have no idea what he's talking about.

"What?" Is all I say.

"Come sit down, it's a long story."

I grab my food and sit on the sofa. He's pacing back and forth.

"You know that lawsuit I'm involved with, with my neighbors?" I nod. "The woman who owns the property is Victoria Volturi. I've been concerned for a while that she is into some illegal stuff. About a month ago I hired a private investigator to dig into her business and maybe get some information I could use as leverage in the lawsuit. The private investigator is named, James. Jasper recommended the firm, but told me that he didn't know anything about James specifically. I didn't like James from the moment I met him, but what do I know, maybe all PI's are slimy like him. Anyway, he's been gathering information for me and we met this morning to discuss it. He didn't get anything useful about the Volturi's. He was more interested in you." He stops.

"Me?" I ask.

"Yes." He pauses, appearing to be searching for the right words. "You see it appears that James has a fascination with you. He's the one who's been, for lack of a better word, "stalking" you. He tried to tell me you were involved with Victoria, but the longer I talked to him the more crazy he sounded. It freaked me out. He had so many photos of you, Bella, intimate ones, inside your house.

"He was inside my house." I choke.

"No, no, but he had a telephoto lens and got shots of you doing various things inside your house. I'm really sorry." He voice is strained, as if he's in pain.

"Where are the photos now?"

"I convinced him to leave them with me, but I'm sure he has them on his computer, which is actually a good thing."

"A good thing. How?"

"At the end of our meeting this morning, I paid James for his services, told him not to continue with the investigation, and that I'd be in touch. Then I immediately called Jasper. We need to file a restraining order against James, today, both of us, but especially you. That's why I've been so frantic to find you. I don't think I tipped James off that I think he's a wacked out stalker, but I don't know for sure. I was worried he would come here. Try to do something to you." He plops on the sofa next to me, defeated.

"You have no reason to be sorry about James, Edward. You couldn't know that the PI you hired would stalk me." I offer.

"But if you weren't friends with me this wouldn't have happened." He practically whispers.

I want so badly to console him, touch him. I can tell he's beating himself up over this. But things are different now. We aren't the same two people who descended the steps onto the beach yesterday morning. We aren't "special friends" anymore. Maybe someday we can be friends again, but I don't even know if I can do that.

"Please, don't feel responsible Edward. It happened. We'll file the restraining order. End of story."

"I wish it were that easy, Bella. First we have to file the papers with the court. After, we go to court at the appointed time tomorrow to see if the judge will grant the Temporary Restraining Order. Then Jazz will serve James the papers, if he can find him. Then, we wait and see how James reacts. Worst case scenario, the Restraining Order is denied. Until we see how this plays out I'm not letting you out of my sight." He states matter of fact.

"Oh, no. Hell no. I'm not spending days and nights with you." I blurt out.

Obviously hurt by my reaction. "Will you at least go stay with someone? Alice maybe? You can even stay at my parents, it's safe and it's gated with a guard, just not here, not alone. I would never forgive myself if something happened to you because of me." He pleads.

I'm still pissed at him and he's got me feeling sorry for him. What kind of power does this man have over me? I can't believe I'm even considering spending time with him.

We sit in silence. I get up and wash my dishes. I never offered him a drink or food. I was too pissed to be a good hostess. I feel guilty about that too.

"Do you want something to drink? Water or something?" I yell from the kitchen.

"Water please." He answers.

What do I do? I don't want to stay here alone; I don't want to go to his parent's house. I definitely don't want to go to his house. I set his water on the coffee table in front of him and go to the bedroom to make a call.

"Alice."

"Bella, thank god you're okay. Edward was so worried. He called here like a hundred times. Where were you? Is he with you? He feels so bad about this, about everything. Tanya means nothing to him. I hope you forgive him." She goes on without a chance of me getting a word in. I can't stay with her, she would drive me crazy. She's obviously "Team Edward."

"I'm fine, Alice. I was on a run. Edward is here and I'm trying to figure out what to do."

"You can stay here, but I know that Edward wants you with him. He feels so responsible. He has security at the rescue; it's the safest place for you to stay, both of you."

"Thanks, Alice. I'll let you know. When do I need to meet with Jasper?"

"You are meeting at Edward's in about an hour."

"Okay, thanks, Alice. I'll talk to you later." I hang up and look over at Edward. He is staring at me expectantly.

"Look, I'll pack a bag. I'm driving my own car, and I'll decide later where I'll stay."

He just nods.

I throw things in a bag, gather up Buddy's stuff and call Jake.

"Hey, Bella. Long time, no talk. Decided to talk to me again, huh?" He jokes pointedly.

"Look, Jake, something has come up and it's not safe for me to stay here at the house. It's a long story. Buddy and I are going to stay with a friend for a few days. Will you keep an eye on the house and check in on Angela? I was gone over the weekend and haven't checked in on her since I've been back."

Without hesitation he says. "I'll be right over."

"Jake, no. I..." He hung up. Great. Edward is silently watching me.

I try to get Edward and I out of the house and gone before Jake can get here. No such luck. We're standing on the front porch, locking the door, when Jake shows up.

He runs up and grabs me a huge bear hug. "What the hell is going on, Bella?"

I push away from him gently. "Jake, you didn't need to come over. Everything is under control. We're leaving right now. Jake this is Edward, Edward this is Jake." They shake hands stiffly, but no smiles or words are exchanged. Men...

"It's not under control if you need to leave your own house." He accuses, while looking directly at Edward.

I grab his hand, forcing his attention back to me. "I appreciate your concern. Jake, and keeping an eye on things here for me, but really, everything is or will be okay in a few days. You have to trust me."

"Oh, I trust you, Bella. It's other people I don't trust." He's looking at Edward again.

"Edward, you go on ahead. I'll meet you in Huntington." I say, trying to separate the "testosterone boys."

"I'll wait in the car for you, but I'm following you to my house." He states before going to his car. He's becoming terribly controlling, I don't like it.

In full view of Edward, Jake grabs me in an embrace again. "I just want you to be safe. You can stay with me if you want, anytime. You know that don't you?" He kisses my forehead.

I push away again. "Thanks, Jake, I appreciate it. I'm gonna go now. I'll be in touch, and don't worry." I wave as I bolt off the porch to the safety of my car.

Geez, why don't these guys just piss on me to stake their territory, ughhhhh

"Well, Buddy, it's your lucky day. Looks like you get to see Booboo again." Buddy perks up like he knows what I'm saying. I wish my life was as easy as his, "a dog's life." I blast the music as we drive up PCH towards Huntington, Edward on my tail. What am I going to do about my living arrangements for the next day or two? This whole situation sucks.

**A/N**

**You all knew Bella wasn't a bad guy!**

**Who should she stay with? And what is up with James?**

**Jake is annoying... again.**

**I surprisingly found out that I'm nominated for Break Out Author (new author). Here's the link. So many amazing authors and stories :) **

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**Thanks for all of your support. I couldn't do it without you all.**


	26. Chapter 26

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Banner by AnaFluttersby**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward**

**Chapter 26**

**EPOV**

Well, I blew it with Bella again. I stomped into her house all cavemanish, accusing, demanding answers. Now she really wants nothing to do with me. She doesn't even want me protecting her. I have to keep her safe. Nothing else matters right now, not Tanya, not me, not even my friendship with Bella. We can't be friends, ever, if she's hurt or killed because of me. I would never forgive myself.

When we arrive at my apartment/rescue Jasper is waiting for us. I also have two body guards walking the perimeter, Seth and Paul. Both are big burly twenty something men. Seth has been at the rescue with me for a few weeks; Paul is joining him today, and will be here from now on.

If Bella and I separate for any reason, Seth will go with her. I trust him; he's a good guy, married, a kid on the way. His libido is occupied. I don't know about this Paul guy yet. I digress.

We get out of our cars and I help Bella gather her stuff and take it upstairs.

"Thanks for meeting with us so quickly, Jaz."

"You're right to be concerned about this James character, Edward. This is some weird stuff." He says as he looks at the photos and documents that James collected. Included are Bella's school records, her DMV record, some childhood photos, a high school yearbook, even a few medical records. I don't look at any of it, too invasive.

We head over to the courthouse to file the appropriate papers. Bella never looks or speaks directly to me the entire time. She's all business.

Seth and Paul are with us. I showed them a photo of James that I managed to capture on my phone when he was leaving this morning. The photo is a side view of him and his car. It's not ideal, but at least they have a sense of what he looks like and what car he drives. Jasper is working on getting a DMV photo or something that shows a closer, clearer picture of him.

"I'll meet you guys back here tomorrow morning at nine. I think the Restraining Order will be granted." Jasper states. "Oh, and Bella, Alice wants you to come over to her house. Something about a girls night with she and Rose."

"What time?" Bella asks.

"She said you could come now or later. I can take you over there if you'd like."

"I hate to be an over protective pain, but Bella isn't going anywhere without Seth. I know you hate this Bella, but I'm paying good money for security for you...us. Please take advantage of this." I practically beg.

I can tell she wants to say something snarky, but is holding back. She takes a deep breath before she speaks.

"Okay, Edward. But I'm driving my own car. Seth can come with me or follow me, I don't care. But if he gets too close or makes me uncomfortable, I will ditch him, and you know I will. So you better set him straight." She says with her hands on her hips. It reminds me of the day we met at the dog beach.

"Sure, sure. I'll talk to him." Thank god she's not fighting me on this.

About a half an hour later she heads off to Alice's with Seth, leaving Buddy with Booboo and I here.

She and I didn't discuss where she is staying tonight, but I notice her overnight bags are still here. I have hope.

I change the sheets on my bed, straighten the house and make myself a bed on the sofa in the studio/spare room. The least I can do is give her my bed while she's here.

Seth and I are in constant texting contact while she's gone. They were at Alice's, went to dinner and now they're listening to live music at some bar close to Alice's house. No sign of James.

I run on the treadmill and do weights to rid myself of the nervous energy. If it weren't for Seth being with Bella, I'd be a lunatic with worry right now.

I shower and get comfortable on my make shift bed. The dogs are on the floor beside me. I'm exhausted from the emotional day.

I must have fallen asleep because I startle awake from a horrible nightmare. My face is wet with tears; I'm shaking from the drama of my subconscious thoughts. The dogs were next to me, I had left the lights on and now the house is dark. I jump up and hurry towards my room, towards Bella.

When I reach the doorway, she's standing there, looking sleepy, concerned.

I grab her into a tight hug. Taking her in; her scent, her soft hair, the feel of her body next to mine.

"It's okay, Edward. Everything will be okay." She coos as I hug her against me.

I faintly hear myself chanting. "Not you, not you too." As I immerse myself in her. Nothing matters, except her safety. She's here now and she's safe. I will keep her safe. I won't lose her. I've lost too much already, I can't lose her too.

I don't know how long we stand there in our embrace. It could be minutes, it could be hours. Time stands still.

Eventually, she pulls me to the bed. She climbs in pulling me down beside her. I cling to her like she will disappear if I don't. She lets me. I think I cry some more. She tells me it will be okay. I try to believe her. I fall into a deep sleep; with her pulled to my chest, safe, protected. I don't dream. Nothing is in my head, but thoughts of Bella, here with me.

I wake up alone in my bed to the smell of bacon. I smile. She's here and she's safe.

I use the bathroom, brush my teeth, run my fingers through my out of control hair and join her in the kitchen.

"Hi," I say timidly, as I get myself a cup of coffee.

"Hi, sleepy head." She says giving me a soft smile. Her eyes still full of concern. "You okay this morning?"

"Yep, I nod. Good. Can I help? It smells great." I guide the conversation away from me and distract her by grabbing a piece of bacon fresh off the griddle.

"Hey, no snatching food." She teases as she swats my hand. It feels good to laugh with her.

We eat in comfortable silence. The food is good, really good. She has a way with eggs.

I clean up the kitchen while she showers. I'm thinking about what comes next. I know we go to the courthouse, etc., but I mean what is next for Bella and I. I know we can't avoid the elephant in the room forever. I have some explaining to do. I'm sure she thinks I'm unstable, broken. I am, but I still owe her an explanation. Where we go from there will be up to her.

**~MMB~**

We are granted the Temporary Restraining Order and file Invasion of Privacy charges against James. Jasper arranges for him to be served the papers this afternoon at his most current place of residence.

We are relieved as we drive back to my place. Seth follows us in another car, keeping a comfortable, but safe distance. Paul stayed at the rescue.

"How were things with Seth last night? Was he respectful of your personal space, etc.?" I ask her.

"He was. I actually really like him. He's a nice guy, who really loves his wife. He had very nice things to say about you too." She offers.

"Wow, you got all that out of the few short car rides with him?" I joke.

"What can I say, people open up to me." She says.

"Yes, they do." I add quietly. Yes, they do. I know this first hand.

"Can I take you to lunch?" It's the least I can do, plus I want to be with her.

"Yeah, I guess. Don't you have stuff to do?"

"Bella, the only stuff I have to do right now is keep you safe. Nothing else matters."

"About that... Edward. A lot has happened between us, very quickly. I want us to be friends, but I'm having some trust issues. That thing with Tanya hit me hard. I want to trust you. I know you are a good person, but even good people screw up."

I nod, parking the car in a shady spot in the restaurant parking lot, I turn to face her. "What can I do to gain your trust again?" I'll do anything.

"You need to trust me." She says.

"I do trust you, Bella. That has never been an issue."

"No, Edward. I mean, really trust me. I need you to open up to me. I know something horrible happened to you when you were a child."

"How do you know, who told you?" I ask panicked. Who told her? My family has been fiercely loyal to me. They have protected me and kept my secrets. And they don't even know the half of it. My secrets have secrets.

"No one told me, Edward. I put it together. I looked through some of your photo albums and there are no photos of you as a baby, just a boy; a very sad, lost boy. You have taken yourself off of the market in regards to women. You feel guilty, a lot. You easily take the blame for things. You keep people at arms distance. But mainly, you have nightmares, horrible nightmares. It's like you are relieving a traumatic experience, over and over. I can't sit by and watch you punish yourself anymore. You want my trust? Then trust me back. Let me help you."

I'm stunned. Years of therapy and Bella lays it all out in one little paragraph. She's not letting me off the hook. She has me by the balls. She has what I want... her.

After a long silence. "I need to talk to my therapist. Can you give me a few days?" I whisper.

"Of course, Edward. I don't want to push you, but you've been holding this in for years and years. I'll let you adjust to the idea of opening up, but I'm holding you to this. You want a relationship with me, a friendship. It's this or nothing."

I nod, knowing she deserves this.

"Can I ask you a kind of unrelated question?"

"Are you trying to change the subject again?" She teases. She's on to me. "Of course, ask away."

"Why did the thing with Tanya bother you? I know she was overtly touchy and sexual with me and a total bitch to you. But why did it affect you so much? I wasn't reciprocating her advances. It was totally one sided. And I set her straight about where she and I stand. I was more direct with her than ever before." I explain.

"This is difficult for me to talk about, um..." She says, wringing her hands in her lap. "Um, I understand if you mentally aren't into her, but obviously you are physically."

"Physically? I think Tanya is fake. I'm not attracted to her at all. I never have been. I've just been polite because of our parents. I'm done being polite after how she treated you."

"You're a guy; guys don't always have complete control of... things." She gestures towards my crotch.

I laugh. "The only time I don't have complete control of myself is around you. It didn't move when I saw her, not even when she was rubbing up against me. In fact, I think it shriveled up and hid."

"But you went in the water, for a really long time. Wasn't it to cool things down?"

"Oh Bella. Have you thought this whole time that I needed to go in the cold water to calm myself down? Oh, shit, no wonder you've been so pissed. I went in the water to escape her. I kept trying to walk away from her on the beach and she kept talking and following me. I thought the only chance I had for her to leave me alone was to swim out in the water. I know she's got those built in life preservers, but she wouldn't get wet. She wouldn't want to mess up her hair or makeup. And I was out there for so long because I was swimming against the current and she kept walking along the beach as I swam. Every time I looked up she was still there. I thought she'd never go away. Finally, a few houses from Mom and Dad's she gave up and walked back to her parent's house. Honestly, Bella. I'm not the least bit attracted to her. I hope you believe me."

She looks up, her eyes full of unshed tears. Her eyes search mine. I'm lost in her gaze. The longing, the hurt, the resolution.

"I do, I do believe you. It's just, you've made me feel so good and so sexy knowing your body reacted so strongly to me. When I thought she did that for you too. I felt naive, stupid and utterly unattractive."

I grab her hands in mine. "There is nothing unattractive or stupid about you, nothing. It kills me that what I did made you feel that way. Add that to the danger I've put you in, ugh. You have no idea how responsible I feel for you. How protective. I know this whole thing sucks, all of it. But please, please let me protect you from James. Let me do whatever is necessary. When this is all over, we can build our friendship again if you want to. But for now, just let me take care of you, of this. I need to do this." I sound like such a pussy, but I don't care.

"I'll cooperate, but you are still "spilling the beans". She says trying to lighten the mood. "Let's eat, I'm starved."

"Me too." I say helping her out of the car.

My phone rings during our meal. "Hey, Jasper, what happened with James? Really. Shit. Okay. Keep me posted. Thanks."

"What happened? Did they serve James?" She asks impatiently.

"No, he doesn't live there anymore. No one had a forwarding address. Jasper is on it. He'll let us know." I'm disappointed and worried.

"I don't know what it is with me and guys named James." She says, almost to herself.

"What do you mean?" I ask.

"There was this weird guy in high school that used to follow me around. He'd write me love notes, bring me flowers. He'd show up at my house. He thought he was my boyfriend. He seemed harmless enough, but my dad scared him off eventually. Then we graduated and I moved away. End of story." She shrugs.

"What was his last name?" The hair on the back of my neck is standing straight up.

"Embry. James Embry."

**A/N**

**Another evil cliffie *laughs manically***

**Some of you were still mad at Edward. How are you feeling now? Did he apologize enough? Explain enough?**

**Teaser for Wednesdays chapter on Fictionators today.**

**Thanks to all of you who voted, and for all of your support :)**

**PS I wrote another chapter yesterday :)**


	27. Chapter 27

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Banner by AnaFluttersby**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward**

**Chapter 27**

**BPOV**

I'm still angry, hurt, and humiliated about yesterday with Edward and Tanya on the beach. But I am softening every minute I spend with Edward. He has been overbearing, but I do believe he only has my safety as his motive. He is so thorough, throwing himself into this crusade to protect me. It feels good to think he cares that much, enough to put his whole life on hold, and spend his own money for us, for me.

An evening with the girls is just what I need to escape his intensity and get some very much needed perspective on everything. Hopefully, Alice especially, will have some Edward insight. Just when I think I have him figured out, something happens and I'm back to the beginning trying to figure him out all over again. When Alice told me Edward was complicated, she was not exaggerating.

It's a little awkward when "Bodyguard Seth" and I get to Alice's. He comes in, does a quick walk through and meets the girls. Then he excuses himself out the front door. We exchanged cell numbers on the way. I'm to text him when we are ready to leave and he will meet me at the door. He's very unassuming, which I am grateful for.

We find a relaxing place to eat near Alice's. We settle into a quiet booth in the corner. Seth is where he can see my at all times, but he is giving me space.

"Okay, Bella. What's going on?" Rose asks.

"What do you want to know, there are a lot of different things going on." I sigh.

"First, have you forgiven Edward yet for how poorly he handled the encounter with Tanya?" Alice scoffs.

"That's complicated Alice. We haven't talked about it much. All this stuff with James has kind of overshadowed my feelings about that."

"Bella, I have to tell you. I've never seen Edward interested in anyone like he is with you. Hell, I've never seen him kiss anyone. Granted it was during Truth or Dare, but the boy was into it." She laughs. We all laugh.

"Ya, that was...intense." I whisper.

"Almost as hot as you and me kissing." Rose says as she elbows my ribs.

"Oh, God, Rose. That was genius on your part, gutsy, but genius. I'm just glad I caught on in time to give the boys a show." We laugh even louder, attracting the attention from others in the restaurant, which causes us to laugh even louder.

"Seriously, Bella. You mean a lot to Edward. I know he's my brother and I love him, blah, blah, blah, but he's a good guy who has been through hell. It's been amazing watching him open up to you like I've never seen him do before. I just hope he doesn't close up into himself again. He's made so much progress." Alice says sadly.

"I don't know what to tell you Alice. I don't know the hell he's been through. He hasn't shared that with me. I only know the man I see now. Except for our first encounter at the dog beach and then yesterday with Tanya, he has been nothing but kind, and considerate. He's made me feel special and pretty, even desirable. That hasn't happened to me before, ever. I don't want to lose that either, but I have to think of myself, you know, self-preservation. I can't put myself out there just to get hurt, because yesterday hurt, a lot."

Rose excuses herself to go to the bathroom. Alice leans in and lowers her voice. "I wish I could tell you about Edward's past, but I can't. It's not my story to tell. But he really needs to tell someone. He has so much pent up inside him. It's surprising that he's been able to function as normally as he has for this long. He has an amazing soul, kind, good. He just shuts himself off from people and they don't get to see the true him. He has let you see him, Bella. I am grateful to you for helping him with that."

I shake my head. "I haven't done anything, Alice. I care about Edward. I've been a friend to him and I haven't pushed him to open up to me. I'm afraid that may change though."

"What are you going to do?" Rose asks as she slides back into the booth.

"I don't know, but I can't go on like this. If I'm going to put myself out there with him, I need to know what I'm dealing with. I need to know everything. I need to know the real him, good and bad." I say almost thinking out loud.

"Well, I'm here for you, Bella, whatever happens. I will always be your friend, with or without Edward." Alice confirms.

"Me too, Bella, my partner in crime." Adds Rose. We laugh some more.

When I get back to the rescue, Seth walks me inside the apartment, and makes sure I lock the door.

The apartment is brightly lit, but quiet. I glance around and see a note for me on the coffee table.

_Bella,_

_I hope you had fun with the girls. You take my bed, I insist. I know you don't want to be here and I want you to be as comfortable as possible. Thanks for staying._

_Edward_

I walk around turning the lights off. I find Edward and the dogs asleep in his office or whatever he uses that room for. Edward is curled up on a sofa that is shorter than he is tall. He looks uncomfortable, but he's sleeping. I turn off the rest of the lights as I make my way towards Edward's room.

I put on my pajamas and climb into Edward's bed. It's comfortable and big; king size. The sheets smell clean. I'm a little disappointed. I wish they smelled like Edward. I fall asleep quickly, it has been an exhausting few days.

The next thing I remember is Buddy jumping on me and whimpering. Booboo is there too. They are both looking at my expectantly.

"What's up guys?" I ask rubbing my eyes trying to get them to adjust to the darkness.

The apartment is quiet. I suddenly feel anxious. What if James got past Seth and Paul? I look around the room for some kind of weapon. I can't find anything.

I quietly leave the comfort of the bed and tiptoe towards the open bedroom door. I will go get Edward. I don't know what else to do.

I'm startled when Edward appears in front of me in the doorway. He looks half asleep, except for the panic in his eyes. Before I can speak he grabs me and pulls me to his warm chest, hugging me almost too tightly.

Angry or not with this man; he's in pain. I try to soothe him with my words. Telling him it will be okay; that I'm here for him. He is worried about me, about losing me. He's emotional. I can feel the wetness from his tears as he cries while we embrace. I want to take his pain away. I wrack my brain for solutions, ideas, something to say or do to help him. But all I can do is reassure him, let him know I'm here for him.

When I feel his body begin to relax slightly, I move out of his hug and pull him behind me to the bed. There are no words between us, there is nothing to say.

We snuggle into a comfortable position and Edward hugs me. He hugs me like I'm the only life vest in the ocean. I let him, because I know it's what he needs right now.

I lay awake for a while, thinking about him, this, everything. I'm in way over my head. I need professional help. He needs professional help. Hell, we need help. I come up with a rough plan. Finally, sleep finds me in my hot Edward cocoon.

**~MMB~**

I wake up to the early morning light filtering in the unfamiliar window. I'm stifling hot, his body is practically covering mine, but I don't mind. My thoughts go back to last night, and how sad, broken and vulnerable Edward was, is. I go over my plan again. I know what I must do; for us, for him, but most importantly for myself. I can't get in any deeper with him until I know what I'm dealing with.

I carefully extricate myself from his clinging body. I take a second to study the sleeping Edward. He looks so peaceful and innocent when he sleeps, unfazed by... life.

I freshen up and head to the kitchen. This is going to be a tough day; maybe I can soften it with some old fashion comfort food for breakfast.

I start the bacon, cut some fruit and prepare a special egg scramble. I don't even have to look to know Edward is in the room, I feel him before I even see him. His presence makes my body hum. I smile to myself, turning in his direction.

He looks amazing for having such a tough few days, rumpled, wild hair, a slight scruff on his face, loose pajama pants and a tshirt. His eyes are what draw me in. They always have. They are so deep, expressive. There are so many layers to this man, both good and bad. I hope and pray that the steps I'm about to take don't cause him to shut me out. It's a risk I have to take.

"You okay this morning?" I carefully ask, trying to feel out his mood and openness.

He shrugs off a serious answer and changes the subject quickly. His usual M.O... avoidance.

We talk about my night with the girls. How things went with Seth. Light conversation. It's pleasant. I wish things could remain like this. It's easy.

We get ready to go to the courthouse in comfortable companionship. There is no weirdness. The sexual tension between us, that was so palpable before, is suppressed, repressed. I miss it.

We are granted the restraining order and anxiously await the serving of the papers to James. I know it all hinges on his reaction to all of this. He has no idea we are on to him. Things are not over by any means, but we feel good about the progression of things so far.

We're driving back from the courthouse. Seth is following in a car behind us. If it were only Edward, Seth would probably be in the same car. I appreciate Edward's efforts in trying to make our lives as normal as possible.

"Can I take you to lunch?" Edward asks, pulling me from my endless thoughts.

"Yeah, I guess. Don't you have stuff to do?" I question. This man has basically stopped living his own life because of me.

"Bella, the only stuff I have to do right now is keeping you safe. Nothing else matters."

"About that... Edward." I pause, gathering the courage to continue. "A lot has happened between us, very quickly. I want us to be friends, but I'm having some trust issues. The thing with Tanya hit me hard. I want to trust you. I know you are a good person, but even good people screw up."

"What can I do to gain your trust again?" He pleads.

"You need to trust me." I say.

"I do trust you, Bella. That has never been an issue."

I'm thankful we're parked in the restaurant parking lot when I say this. "No, Edward. I mean, really trust me. I need you to open up to me. I know something horrible happened to you when you were a child." There, I said it. I hold my breath waiting for him to flip out.

He gasps. "How do you know, who told you?" He looks panicked. I start to panic. He thinks his family told me about him.

I hurry to respond before he gets more upset. "No one told me, Edward. I put it together. I looked through some of your family photo albums and there are no photos of you as a baby, just a boy; a very sad, lost boy. You have taken yourself off of the market in regards to women. You feel guilty, a lot. You easily take the blame for things. You keep people at arms distance. But mainly, you have nightmares, horrible nightmares. It's like you are reliving a traumatic experience, over and over. I can't sit by and watch you punish yourself anymore. You want my trust? Then trust me back. Let me help you."

After a long silence he whispers. "I need to talk to my therapist. Can you give me a few days?" I can almost visibly see walls go up around him, walls keeping me out.

"Of course, Edward. I don't want to push you, but you've been holding this in for years and years. I'll let you adjust to the idea of opening up, but I'm holding you to this. You want a relationship with me, a friendship. It's this or nothing." I put my hand on his arm to make sure he knows that I want this, this connection with him.

"Can I ask you a kind of unrelated question?" He asks.

"Are you trying to change the subject again?" I tease, trying to lighten the mood. "Of course, ask away."

"Why did the thing with Tanya bother you? I know she was overtly touchy and sexual with me and a total bitch to you. But why did it affect you so much? I wasn't reciprocating her advances. It was totally one sided. And I set her straight about where she and I stand. I was more direct with her than ever before."

Crap, how do I explain this? "This is difficult for me to talk about. Um, I understand if you mentally aren't into her, but obviously you are physically."

"Physically? I think Tanya is fake. I'm not attracted to her at all. I never have been. I've just been polite because of our parents. I'm done being polite after how she treated you."

"You're a guy; guys don't always have complete control of... things." I gesture towards his crotch.

He laughs, not the reaction I wanted. He's laughing at me. "The only time I don't have complete control of myself is around you. It didn't move when I saw her, not even when she was rubbing up against me. In fact, I think it shriveled up and hid."

"But you went in the water, for a really long time. Wasn't it to cool things down?" I continue.

"Oh Bella. Have you thought this whole time? That I needed to go in the cold water to calm myself down? Oh, shit, no wonder you've been so pissed. I went in the water to escape her. I kept trying to walk away from her on the beach and she kept talking and following me. I thought the only chance I had for her to leave me alone was to swim out in the water. I know she's got those built in life preservers, but she wouldn't get wet. She wouldn't want to mess up her hair or makeup. And I was out there for so long because I was swimming against the current and she kept walking along the beach as I swam. Every time I looked up she was still there. I thought she'd never go away. Finally, a few houses from Mom and Dad's she gave up and walked back to her parent's house. Honestly, Bella. I'm not the least bit attracted to her. I hope you believe me."

As I'm listening to him, my eyes betray me by filling with tears. I don't want to cry. I want to be strong. He's talking a good talk, but I have to look in his eyes, I know the truth is there. Our eyes meet and I see nothing but truth, sincerity and something else I can't quite read. I feel like I've stared into these eyes my whole life. The depth of them pulls me in.

I shake my head, breaking our stare, and clear my throat. "I do, I do believe you. It's just, you've made me feel so good, so sexy, knowing you're body reacted so strongly to me. When I thought she did that for you too. I felt naive, stupid and utterly unattractive."

He takes my hands, his eyes burning into mine. "There is nothing unattractive or stupid about you, nothing. It kills me that what I did made you feel that way. Add that to the danger I've put you in, ugh. You have no idea how responsible I feel for you. How protective. I know this whole thing sucks, all of it. But please, please let me protect you from James. Let me do whatever is necessary. When this is all over, we can build our friendship again if you want to. But for now, just let me take care of you, of this. I need to do this."

I sigh loudly. "I'll cooperate, but you are still "spilling the beans". I say, letting him know I still have expectations of him. "Let's eat, I'm starved."

His phone rings during our meal, and I hear him say. "Hey, Jasper, what happened with James? Really. Shit. Okay. Keep me posted. Thanks."

"What happened? Did they serve James?" I ask, trying not to seem too impatient.

"No, he doesn't live there anymore. No one had a forwarding address. Jasper is on it. He'll let us know." He says with concern.

"I don't know what it is with me and guys named James." I mumble.

"What do you mean?" He asks.

"There was this weird guy in high school that used to follow me around. He'd write me love notes, bring me flowers. He'd show up at my house. He thought he was my boyfriend. He seemed harmless enough, but my dad scared him off eventually. Then we graduated and I moved away. End of story." I shrug.

"What was his last name?" He questions.

"Embry. James Embry."

Edward makes a strange noise. My eyes dart up to him to make sure he's not choking on his lunch or something. His eyes are wide, his hands tightly gripping the edge of the table. He doesn't move.

"Edward, what's wrong? Are you choking?" I start to get up and move to his side of the table. He puts his hand up to stop me. I sit back down and wait.

He closes his eyes, takes a deep breath and reaches for his cell phone. He searches for something. He holds the phone out for me to look at.

"Do you know this guy?" He asks.

"Yes, that's James, my James from Forks. Why?" And then it hits me. James is James. They are one in the same. Oh shit.

"You said your dad scared him off back in high school. Were the police involved at all?"

"You could say that. My dad is the police. The police chief of the small town I grew up in. So yes, the police were involved."

"We need to talk to your dad. Let's go." He throws money down on the table, grabs my hand and pulls me outside. Seth is waiting by the door. Edward gets him up to speed, as we all climb in our cars to leave.

Before driving off, Edward makes a quick call to Jasper. He's going to meet us at the apartment to have a conference call with my dad. I don't look forward to involving him. He didn't want me to move this far away from home. He hates the fact that I'm so close to crime ridden Los Angeles. I've assured him that I've met good people and made good friends. This whole James thing and Edward's involvement are not supporting my argument very well.

Back at Edward's apartment we have a conversation with my dad on speaker phone. I introduce Edward, Jasper and Seth. After the pleasantries are over the hard part begins. The conversation goes as I expected. My dad wants me to pack up and come home. Edward does his best to assure my dad that I am well protected, but like any father who is the chief of police, his protection is better than any other.

Eventually, after the initial shock of what we told him, he agrees to support me staying here and to contact the local police here in Laguna. He faxes over James' police file for Seth and Jasper.

Before hanging up Dad says. "Ironically Bells, James was spotted here last week. I thought to myself that I was glad you weren't in town. I have some work to do here now. I need to find out who gave James some of that confidential information he had on you."

Our conversation ends with everyone agreeing to work together and keep communicating. This James is a slippery sucker. The more people keeping their eyes out for him the better.

After the phone call is over and Jasper has left, Edward excuses himself to take care of some business. He retreats to his room, the guest room. I don't like taking over his room, but I know arguing about that is a waste of my time.

"Can I use your computer?" I ask before he goes.

"Sure." He gets it booted up. Buddy and I are his screen saver. That makes me feel all warm inside. I occupy myself with mundane internet stuff.

I hear Edward enter the room. "Um, I have an appointment tomorrow morning." He says quietly.

I'm pretty sure I know what appointment he's talking about. I turn and look at him. His head is hung, eyes cast down.

"How do you feel about going? I ask.

"Eh, it's long overdue, I guess." He shrugs. "Want to order pizza and watch a movie?" He changes the subject, again.

"Sure, sounds good."

We settle into a comfortable rhythm together. We work well side by side doing stupid things like cleaning up the kitchen or taking turns brushing our teeth. It's comfortable. Lounging on the sofa next to him seems... right, normal.

We're both yawning as the movie comes to an end. "Bedtime?" He asks. I nod in response as I stifle another yawn.

He heads off to the guest room. "Hey, Edward. I'm okay with sharing your bed. If that's okay with you, I mean. I would sleep a lot better knowing you are comfortable in your own bed."

He turns, looking a little stunned. I hope that wasn't too much. Maybe last night was a one-time thing.

"Really?" He asks with a shy smile.

"Really." I answer. "Come on boys." And my three boys follow me to Edward's bedroom; Buddy, Booboo and Edward.

We settle in on separate sides of the bed. The distance between us seems like miles. I slide closer to him until I'm barely touching his side, feeling his warmth. "Is this okay?" I ask.

"Very." Is all he says.

I fall into a deep, dreamless sleep more easily than I thought possible.

**A/N**

**James is James... as most of you figured out :)**

**What now? Where is James? Therapy time...**

**More sexy times are coming!**

**Thanks so much everyone. I really love to read your thoughts.**

**If you aren't logged in when you review, I can't reply, and I want to.**


	28. Chapter 28

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Banner by AnaFluttersby**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward**

**Chapter 28**

**EPOV**

I can't believe she wants to share my bed with me. After all I've put her through, she still cares. This woman never ceases to amaze me.

When she moves over next to me in bed, touching me, it's like I can breathe again. The open space between us, so distant, felt representative of where we were in our relationship/friendship.

Closer is definitely better.

I stay awake listening to her breathe, in and out. She falls asleep quickly. Me, not fast enough. My thoughts are on my appointment with my therapist in the morning. I haven't seen her for years, but she's known me since I was a kid, since I first came here. She seems like the logical person to see.

I don't know when I finally fall asleep, but I wake up with Bella curled up next to me, her arm across my chest. She's a snuggler; I could get used to this., I shouldn't get my hopes up. We have so much to sort out, to go through. A future between Bella and I should be the last thing on my mind, but it's not.

I make breakfast today. She's surprised that I can cook. Unless I want to starve or live on fast food, learning to cook is a necessity. I am a bachelor for life after all.

"Do you want to take the dogs to the dog beach later today?" I ask over breakfast.

A strange look crosses her face. "Do you think that's a good idea? I mean is it a safe place for us to be?" She questions.

"I discussed it with Seth yesterday. He thinks if he is up on the bluff and can see us we should be fine. He can watch the parking lot and the beach from there."

She nods.

"Only if you want to." I add.

"It's going to be a hot one that's for sure. Let's see how you feel when you get home."

I nod this time. I wish I didn't have this appointment. I just want to hang out on the beach with Bella and the boys.

"I should be home around noon. Paul is going with me and Seth is staying here with you. See ya later." I say as I'm leaving. Without thinking I go to her and give her a kiss on the cheek.

She stiffens, relaxes and then gives me a comfortable smile. I thought I had gone too far when she stiffened up.

**~MEB~**

I feel like I'm going to the Principal's office as I head to my therapist, Maggie Cope. She is the therapist I saw back when I was a young kid and ever since then when I needed to talk to someone. She knows more about me and my situation than anyone, even my parents.

"Edward." She greets me with a warm smile and an extended hand.

"Hi, Dr. Cope." I say as I shake her hand.

"Maggie, Edward. Please call me Maggie."

"Okay." I say hesitantly.

"How have you been? You look well. You've grown in to such a handsome young man." She offers.

"I'm not that young." I laugh.

"Well, I remember you as a young boy." She laughs too.

"What brings you here to see me, Edward?" She asks, pen in hand, perched above her note pad.

"Um, I've been having nightmares again." Is all I can think to say.

"When did they start, and how often?" She asks while writing.

"Well, my life has gotten more complicated lately."

She nods. "The nightmares were always worse when you were under stress; is that what you think is causing them?"

"Probably."

"How often do you have them?"

"Lately, about every other night. They've come and gone all my life, but lately they are happening a lot. It's always the same dream, except now there is someone else in them too."

"Oh, do you know this person?" She asks.

"Yes, actually, she's the reason I'm here."

"What do you mean Edward?" She asks looking up from her writing.

"I've gotten close to someone. She knows I am, um... broken. She wants me to open up to her, share this particular part of my life with her. But I don't know if I can."

"What's her name?"

"Bella."

"Okay, Bella, obviously means a lot to you. But as you know, you should be here for yourself and no one else. True change comes from within. If you want to share that part of you with her, it should be your decision and you should not be forced into it. How do you feel about this? Do you feel manipulated?"

I pause, thinking about the question. Do I feel manipulated by Bella? I answer honestly. "No, I don't feel manipulated. I trust her. I know she is doing this for herself and for me. I know she cares for me too. Whether or not she and I have a future doesn't matter. She's the first person I've met, who I've wanted to get close to, who I wanted to open up to. I just don't know how."

"When you say the first person you've wanted to get close to, do you mean physically and emotionally?"

"Yes, both."

"But there have been others you've been physically close to?"

"No." I shake my head.

We continue to talk about my life and Bella. Maggie suggests I start small, sharing small bits of my past slowly; putting the whole of my situation together piece by piece. I hope Bella is okay with that. I think I can handle it if I can do it in my own time, and I will do it. I have to.

Before I get up to leave she says. "Please see your tragic past for what it is, an unfortunate tragedy that happened to you, not because of you. I would love to meet this woman who has stolen your heart and provoked these changes in you."

"Thank you, Maggie. This was easier than I thought it would be." I say smiling.

"Edward, it is wonderful to see you again. I think we should meet every week to get you through this." I agree and make an appointment for next week.

I thank her and head home. I'm more optimistic than before. Maybe I can do this. Maybe I can be whole again. Hopefully my past will not send Bella running in the other direction.

**~MEB~**

Bella doesn't ask about my appointment and I don't offer up any information. But I'm sure she can sense that I'm more relaxed. I'm not avoiding, there is a time and place and now is not it. We'll talk tonight.

After a quiet lunch at my apartment, we head to the dog beach with Booboo and Buddy. No giant umbrella, cooler, no fanfare. Just a ball, dog treats, water, 2 towels and smash ball. We put our stuff back by the bluff.

"See, Bella. This is a safe place for our stuff." I joke. She smacks my arm and calls me a smart ass.

I take my shirt off and start playing ball with the dogs. Bella is sitting on the towel watching me. She smiles when I look her way.

"Do you want to play smash ball?" I ask her when the dogs sit down in the sand for a rest.

"Sure, but I'm not very good." She stands up and starts removing her shorts and top, revealing a tiny blue bikini. I groan internally. How am I going to get through this? She looks too good for words. I just want to grab her and have my way with her on the towel.

We stand about 20 feet apart and I hit the ball right to her paddle. She misses more than she hits the ball. When she bends over to get the ball, I can't even look. Her long legs, tight ass and fit body are calling to me. I have to adjust myself more than once hoping she doesn't notice my growing discomfort.

I try to focus on the game, but just watching her is making it nearly impossible. She bends at the waist to get a ball from the sand, giving me a full rear view. Before I make a conscious decision, I'm behind her, pressing the front of my body into the back of hers, causing her to gasp. I inhale her intoxicating scent as my mouth lingers near the base of her ear.

"Can you feel what you do to me?" I whisper. Leaving kisses on her neck and shoulder, tasting her with my tongue. I snake my arm around her waist pulling her firmly against my erection. I hear her breath catch in her throat, my own breath coming out in unsteady pants.

"Yes." She says unsteadily. Goose bumps rising on her skin as a run my hands down the sides of her body.

Then I'm gone, in the ocean, waist deep trying to calm my raging hormones. Who was I kidding thinking I could be here with her looking like that and not react.

The heat of her small body against my back surprises me. Her warm hands trailing up my back.

"My problem may not be as big as yours, but my body reacts the same way to you." She breathes, bringing her hands around to rest on my abs. I resist the urge to her guide her hands and have her touch just how big my problem is.

Instead I reach back and grab her thighs in my hands. "Hold on spider monkey." I say as I raise her onto my back.

We both groan at the contact of her center on my back. I can feel how hot she is for me.

"I can feel you." I groan.

"Umhmm." Is all she says as I take us deeper into the water, attempting to cool us both down.

**A/N**

**Progress for Edward, he's feeling hopeful.**

**Sadness in the fandom. One of our own lost her baby girl yesterday. Prayers and healing thoughts for Cara No and her family. **

**Thanks for reading and letting me know what you think :) You all make me smile.**


	29. Chapter 29

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Banner by AnaFluttersby**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward**

**Chapter 29**

**BPOV**

Things are going well for Edward and I, especially considering how we are forced to be together because some psycho from my past is stalking me.

There has been no sign, word, or locating James. The Restraining Order has yet to be served to him. Edward's people and the police haven't been able to find him. He's wanted for questioning, thanks to my dad and his connections.

All in all, I feel comfortable and safe. Edward has made sure I am. I'm just glad my safety equals his safety. If I were to go back to my house, he would send everyone to protect me, leaving him vulnerable. That's not right, but that's how Edward is.

He's gone to his appointment with his therapist. He seemed stressed when he left, but I guess that's to be expected. He's kept whatever his story is all wrapped up inside himself. I get the feeling his family doesn't even know everything he's gone through. It has to be a scary thing to face your past after all this time.

I'm not mad about Tanya anymore. I get it. I get him. I've never met a kinder, gentler man. But it still scares me; it scares the crap out of me, because no matter his intentions and his good heart, he is a man. And in my book man is synonymous with "I will eventually fuck this up" or worse "fuck you up."

When I look at Edward, look into his eyes, I can't help myself. I want to help him. I see how he puts everyone ahead of himself, how he denies himself. I know he has wants and needs, but he doesn't ask for anything. In fact, he denies himself even the simple things in life. He is selfless.

I'm hoping that by opening himself up to me he can shed some of his baggage. Loosen up a little, have some fun. That's my goal during this forced time together. "Operation help Edward relax and enjoy himself more."

I'm anxious waiting for him to return from his appointment. I've seen him close up and shut down. That is my worst fear in all of this. I'd like to think that the two of us are beyond that, but anything can happen. I'll follow his lead and let him open up at his own pace.

When he gets home the look on his face is calmer, more peaceful. I feel better just having him back with me. We plan a day at the dog beach together. I can't help the feelings I have when I think of my first experience there. It wasn't pleasant, but without that day I never would have met Edward. I can't imagine my life without having Edward as my friend.

I'm lying on the towel at the beach watching a shirtless Edward throw the ball to the dogs. God, he is yummy to look at. Slightly tanned, wild hair blowing in the wind, his arm muscles flexing, and don't even get me started on those abs. One of these days I'm going to lick them. He catches me ogling him, I smile innocently. What else can I do, I'm busted.

His voice jolts me out of my mini fantasy about his abs. "Do you want to play smash ball?"

"Sure, but I'm not very good." I say as I strip out of my clothes. It's his turn with the ogling. My bikini is kind of tiny.

I really do suck at this game. Most of my exercise is coming from bending over to pick up the ball I missed hitting with my paddle. When I do hit the ball I try to make Edward stretch to reach it. I'm a glutton for punishment. I just really like his abs.

I can tell he's getting impatient with my lame smash ball skills. He keeps looking out at the water while he waits for me to retrieve and return the ball.

I miss the ball yet again and bend over to grab it. When I stand, he's there. Pressed up against the back of me, making me gasp in surprise and shiver from his touch.

He pulls me tightly against him and I can feel his arousal; hard and big on my ass. I resist the urge to press into him and rub up against him. He kisses my neck and shoulder sending waves of pleasure down my body. I don't think he has a clue how responsive my body is to him. One touch and I'm his. I can't pull away if I wanted to; I'm intensely drawn to him.

He whispers in my ear, "Can you feel what you do to me?"

I can barely answer with a "Yes" between the goose bumps and shivers he's causing.

He abruptly pulls away from me, and walks out deeper in the ocean, leaving me swaying and stunned with desire. But my biggest feeling is disappointment. I didn't want the moment to end. I crave being physically close to him.

I can pretend that's not the case I want, but it wouldn't be true. I want to touch him and I want him to touch me. I may just have to make the next move.

Here goes nothing. I join him in the water and press my barely covered breasts to his back. My nipples are hard as I brush against his warm body. I want him to know how profoundly he affects me, but my body isn't as obvious as his.

"My problem may not be as big as yours, but my body reacts the same way to you." I say, bringing my hands around to rest on his hard stomach. The abs I've admired from a far.

When he lifts me onto his back we both groan at the contact, my hot center on his bare body.

"I can feel you." He groans.

"Umhmm." Is all I can articulate as he takes us deeper into the ocean.

I'm enjoying the closeness, but my mind is going a mile a minute.

Now that he knows what he does to me, does to my body, will that be enough to encourage him? Will he make the next move?

Sleeping next to him in his bed has been the most wonderful torture. Every second I'm awake I think about how I can jump him. And when I'm asleep I dream about him jumping me. My sexual needs have never made themselves more present. It's both good and very, very bad. I don't know how much longer I can be a patient lady.

**~MEB~**

We stop at the grocery store on the way home from the beach. Seth goes in first and speaks to the manager.

"All of the back doors are closed and locked. The only way in and out is through these front doors. I'll wait out here for you." Seth informs us.

"Keep an eye on the dogs, Seth." I yell as we head into the store. He gives me an exasperated eye roll.

Shopping together is light, easy. We like most of the same foods. "Can we get some ice cream?" I ask. "Chunky Monkey is my favorite. What's yours?" I ask reaching in the freezer for my pint.

Edward laughs. "Where do they come up with the names for these flavors? You know they say the flavor of your favorite ice cream says a lot about your personality."

"Are you saying I'm chunky, Edward?" I tease.

He gets all serious and leans into my ear and says. "You are anything but chunky, but I'm not sure about the monkey." Kissing my neck just below my ear.

The tingles vibrating through my body leave me stunned once again. When I regain my composure Edward is looking very hard at the tile floor. He's embarrassed.

So I grab his hand and give it a squeeze. He looks up and sees that I'm smiling and smiles in return. He gives my hand a little squeeze, but doesn't let go. Instead he laces his fingers in mine. We stay like that until we need our hands to unload the cart.

I almost whine when he lets go of my hand, making him chuckle at my expression. I glare at him.

"What?" He asks far too innocently. I shake my head and take the groceries out of the cart.

Back at his apartment, we take turns showering, we make dinner, clean up and settle on the sofa for a movie. He hasn't touched me again since the store, but we sit on the sofa with our sides touching each other. My body is humming simply from having any contact with him.

I am ridiculously distracted during the movie. I'm taking in his scent, listening to his breathing, glancing sideways at his profile. God, I'm becoming obsessed.

When we get into bed I sense his tension and anxiety. He is lying on his back taking deep breathes, like he's readying himself.

I curl up next to him resting my head on his shoulder, my hand making circles on his chest, trying to give him some reassurance.

After a few cleansing breaths he speaks quietly and slowly.

"I was born in England, Edward Anthony Mason III. I was an only child and when I was four my parents died. I was adopted by Esme and Carlisle when I was almost six." He stops.

I have so many questions but I wait for him to continue. He doesn't.

I glance up at his face. His eyes are open wide, pain visible in his expression.

I lean in and kiss his neck and jaw. "Thank you. I know this is hard for you." I whisper.

"I know it's not much, but I'm trying." He starts, his voice strained. "I promise I will tell you more, just please give me some time."

I lift my head and look him in the eye. I see pain and fear. The pain of his past and the fear that this, that he, is not enough.

"Edward, this is a great start. You should be proud of yourself, for going to your therapist and talking about your past. I'm proud of you. You are a kind, caring person. Give yourself some credit, please." I plead. He is so hard on himself, never giving himself the benefit of the doubt.

During my speech he closes his eyes, like he is trying to calm himself.

I wait. I am so focused on making Edward comfortable that I don't notice how close we are.

I am laying across his chest our faces only inches apart. He is so beautiful. Strong jaw, straight nose, full lips, a five o'clock shadow and tosseled hair.

I just want to kiss those lips. Make him feel good, wanted, help him forget his past, even if it's just for a minute.

Like he can read my mind his green eyes open and focus on mine. The tension between us amps up causing my already excited body to hum.

"Can I kiss you?" I blurt out without thinking.

His eyes widen in surprise, but he nods.

I lower my lips onto his gently. His lips are soft, but firm. The last time we kissed alcohol was involved. I'm so much more aware of everything this time.

He smells amazing, clean and manly. I feel the softness of his lips on mine, his scruff on my cheek, his warm breath caressing my face.

My hand moves from his chest, into his soft hair. I've wanted to do that for so long.

I break the kiss. I'm not used to being the aggressor, the dominate one.

I cuddle into his side and fall asleep to the steady beat of his heart.

**~MEB~**

The days that follow are simple. Edward and I are in our own little bubble. The only people we've seen for a few days now are Seth and Paul.

We cook together, sleep together, and cuddle together. Edward has taken me down to the rescue and taught me the routine for caring for the animals. They are so cute and in need of a safe haven. Edward has done a good thing here.

We steal affectionate touches, and chaste kisses. All initiated by me, but he stops us before we get carried away. I want to get carried away. I want more, much more. I think I'm out of control and he is way too in control.

We have fallen into a nightly routine also. When we settle into bed and the lights are off, he tells me about his past. Last night he told me about the dog he had growing up and how he's always loved animals.

Tonight is no different.

"Growing up, my dad's sister's family lived close to us. My cousins and I were all about the same age. I lived with their family after my parents died, but once they realized that they had no access to my trust fund they no longer wanted me. I haven't seen or spoken to any of them since I moved here."

I listen, but I don't ask him to give me more. When he's done sharing, we snuggle up and fall asleep.

Mornings are always awkward. Edward wakes up first and untangles himself from me, and is gone quickly, off to the bathroom and then to start the coffee.

Today I wake up first because Edward is moving and talking in his sleep. I initially think he's having a nightmare. It's not a nightmare, but a dream... of the sexual nature. I stay very still and listen. Who am I to interrupt a good dream?

We are spooning, Edward is behind me. I can feel his erection on my ass. His hand is wrapped around me pulling me tighter against him.

He's moaning and thrusting into me. I can't help pushing back against him and wiggling my ass a little, just a little.

His breathing speeds up and he moans my name. He's dreaming about me. I'm glad I'm not the only one whose subconscious is on sexual overdrive.

Listening to him, feeling him, is getting me all worked up. I'm seconds away from touching myself when his hand roams up to my breast and starts massaging it.

A moan escapes me before I can stop it.

He freezes behind me. Crap he woke up.

He jumps away from me. "Wow, that was close. Sorry." He groans.

I turn to face him. I don't want him to be sorry. He has needs, so do I. Sleeping together isn't easy. I'm surprised something like this hasn't happened before. I was concerned it was going to be me humping his leg.

Before I can turn all the way around, he's sitting on the side of the bed with his back to me. He's breathing heavily. Poor guy. No happy ending for him.

"Edward, don't be sorry. I didn't mind. In fact it was kind of... hot. You're a healthy man sleeping with a healthy woman, it's perfectly natural. I just wish you could have finished before you woke up." I joke, but I really mean it.

"I didn't mean to.."

I interrupt his apology. Let's see what he thinks about this. "When I felt how hard you were thrusting against my ass, it made me so wet. And when you said my name that was, was really hot. It felt so good when you pulled me close to you and touched me. I was going to touch myself so we could both cum. How would you feel about that?" I reach up and run my hand down his spine as I talk.

I feel him shudder and moan. I think I just dirty talked the boy to orgasm. Mission accomplished.

He quickly recovers, and excuses himself to the bathroom without glancing my way.

I giggle.

Well, he got his big finish, but I'm still hot and bothered. Story of my life lately.

**A/N**

**Oh, Edward. Can't you let your guard down when you're awake?**

**Wonder what Edward's take on this is. Should he be embarrassed? **

**Any new theories on his past? We've gotten a little bit of info.**

**Thanks so much for reading and giving me your support. I really need to get writing...**


	30. Chapter 30

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Banner by AnaFluttersby**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward**

**Chapter 30**

**EPOV**

I'm standing in the bathroom, looking at myself in the mirror wondering what in the hell just happened.

Being so close to Bella all the time, sleeping with her, knowing she's naked in my shower, has not been easy for me, but I've been managing.

My facade of being in control has been crushed. I just got caught humping Bella from behind like some horny dog. I'm so ashamed at my behavior. Being asleep is no excuse.

I have to give her credit. She didn't seem appalled by my behavior; the opposite, actually. She seemed to like it.

And that my friends is why I'm standing here in sticky, wet pajama pants. That girl can talk dirty.

It was bad enough being caught mid-hump. I rolled away from her as quickly as I could when I noticed what I was doing. I lay on my back sporting the biggest tent in my pajama pants. It wasn't just a tent, it was a big top. I was seconds away from cuming when I woke up and was shocked into reality. Calming this baby down wasn't going to be easy. I was afraid to move for fear I'd blow. I don't let this happen often, so my ability to last is not great.

I lay there trying to calm myself down, all of me. "Wow, that was close. Sorry." I started to say when I noticed her turning to face me. Hell no. I jumped up to sit on the side of my bed with my back to her. She didn't need any more evidence of my perviness.

Then she talked in the most seductive voice I'd heard her use. Just the tone in her voice woke my dick up even more. How is that possible? And what she was saying. I had no chance; she had me at, "Edward." But she didn't stop there.

"Edward, don't be sorry. I didn't mind. In fact, it was kind of...hot. You're a healthy man sleeping with a healthy woman, it's perfectly natural. I just wish you could have finished before you woke up." She what? She wanted me to cum while humping her from behind, in my sleep, what?

"I didn't mean to..." I tried to apologize again, but she stopped me. Her words were making my situation worse, much worse. I palmed my dick, trying to force it down. It had a mind of its own. Apparently so did my hand because I started stroking myself through my pants, while listening to her voice, and the naughty things she was saying.

"When I felt how hard you were, thrusting against my ass, it made me so wet; and when you said my name that was really hot. It felt so good when you touched me. I was going to touch myself so we could both cum. How would you feel about that?"

She touched my back so seductively, her words triggering every fantasy I'd had of her, and I couldn't stop myself. Gone. I came right then and there. My body shuddering as pleasure shot through my body. It had been a long time since I'd last had a release. Damn, that felt good.

I relished in the feeling for about a minute before the disgust and guilt kicked in. I excused myself to the bathroom. As I left she giggled; giggled. I think she had that planned, naughty girl.

And that leaves me where I stand now; in the bathroom with quite a mess to clean up.

I shower, vowing to myself that I will treat her with more respect and not behave like some horny teenager. She deserves better than that. She already doesn't trust men. My little performance this morning just supports her negative views. I will show her how special she is and how she should be treated.

We continue our day like nothing happened. However, our physical relationship has changed. We touch now and then and even kiss. Not a deep passionate kiss, I know the potential is there, but I won't go there. She's very affectionate. I like it. I'm in control now..

A few days pass of Bella and I cohabiting in my apartment. We talk a lot or are quiet together. I share about myself each night in bed. It's getting easier to tell her. She just listens. She doesn't pressure me with questions. She seems to understand me.

Truthfully, I've only shared the easiest parts of my past. The next few days are going to be hard. I've skirted around the big issues as much as I could. I'm anxious, but not as much as I thought I would be. I trust Bella, with my life. Why not my life story? The scariest thing is what she will think of me when she knows it all.

Tonight we're watching a romantic comedy. Mila Kunis is the leading lady, and yes, I think she's pretty. She reminds me of Bella, slim, no fake parts, all natural. Every scene she's in I picture it being me and Bella. Ughh. Tomorrow night I'm picking an action movie.

I watch Bella carefully throughout the movie. When she likes something, she smiles. When she gets turned on she touches me. At one point I have to put my hand on top of hers to still her roaming hand on my thigh. I'm human after all..

When the movie ends I stretch and go to stand up from the couch. Before I can comprehend what's happening Bella is straddling my lap with her hands in my hair.

I put my hands on her thighs prepared to push her away. We can't do this.

I look her in the eye trying to anticipate her next move. I shouldn't have done that. Her eyes are hooded; she looks drunk with lust, but determined.

She lowers her lips to mine. Okay I can handle this, just a kiss. I can do this. It starts off innocent and chaste. Then she pokes out her soft pink tongue and licks my bottom lip. Oh, that feels nice. I open my mouth and my tongue meets hers, slowly, sweetly. I'm still in control; immediately hard, but in control.

While we're kissing she slides forward so our chests are touching. I can feel her hard nipples through my thin t-shirt. I'm still in control.

The kissing gets a little more passionate.

She slides a little closer and pins my hard cock between her core and my stomach. We both sigh at the contact. So good, but so wrong. Red alert!

"Bella, I don't think we should..."

"Edward, why are we denying our attraction to each other? I'm going crazy here. I want this, please." She begs.

"But you deserve..." I protest.

"We both deserve to feel good. Please let me have this. Just this. You and me right now."

I look away and shake my head. This is wrong. I shouldn't give into my urges, however powerful they are.

"You don't want this? You don't feel this between us?" She questions.

"Yes, I do. You are so sexy, so beautiful. But you deserve more." I try to let her know how desirable she is. I'm not rejecting her.

"Edward, I want this. I need you. I need us. Please don't deny me." She adds kissing and licking my neck.

"Just this? Clothes on?" I ask. I can't believe I'm even considering giving in to her, but she's so convincing, and smells so good.

"Just this." She smiles. I'm such a weak sap.

I grab her hips and pull her tightly against me, capturing her lips with mine. I'm in.

She makes the sexiest sound. "You are so sexy and irresistible. How can I deny you when you feel so good." I manage to say between kisses.

Things get heated very quickly. The only thing between us is two, maybe three very thin layers of fabric. I'm wearing sleep pants, commando, and she's in these tiny shorts she sleeps in. I can't tell if she has on panties, but I can feel her heat against my erection.

She starts moving against my painfully hard cock. I put my hands on her hips and try to still her, but she is strong and determined.

Her hands are massaging my neck and scalp. Her nails gently scraping as she goes. Just that feeling is more than I could hope for. Add that to her rhythmic writhing against my cock and it's too much. I have no intention of cumming while we dry hump.

"Bella." I squeak out between kisses.

"Hmmm?" She moans as she kisses my neck and gently bites my ear lobe.

"Baby, we need to stop." I'm on sensory overload here, about to unload if this doesn't stop.

"If we don't stop, I'm gonna... I don't..."

She raises her head and looks me in the eyes. "We're both going to cum, Edward. You feel too good to stop. I know you want it, too. I can feel how hard you are." She emphasizes her words as she slides to the head of my cock and swivels her hips, moaning at the sensation hitting her sweet spot.

She is so sexy. So beautiful, so confident, so sure. I want her. I want this. Why am I so weak?

She slides up and down my cock with purpose, swiveling against the head each time. I'm in awe watching her. My throbbing dick weeps, begging for release. I have to think of puppies, whatever to last until she can cum. It's not easy to do. The familiar tingling in my balls is threatening to take over at any moment.

"Oh, Edward. I'm so close. You feel so good, so hard. So big." She pants throwing her head back. I almost lose it when she says that. Puppies, kittens...

I move my hands to her breasts, running my thumbs over her hard nipples.

"Oh, yes. Yes." She encourages.

I take her nipples between my thumb and finger and gently pinch and roll them.

"Oh god." She screams. Moaning my name.

I can feel her wetness and her body shuttering as she cums. Her movements never stop. The vision of her in ecstasy, saying my name, triggers my own mind blowing orgasm. I pull her tightly to me as I ride it out.

We're both breathless. My head resting on the back of the couch. Her head on my shoulder. Each of us afraid to move.

After a few minutes our breathing evens out. She lifts her head, so I do as well. I'm greeted with a post orgasmic smile.

She takes my face in her hands. "No regrets. That was amazing. You are amazing."

All I can do is nod. I can tell she means it. Maybe I didn't ruin everything by giving in.

We kiss, gently, sweetly.

She gets up, and grabs my hand. "Let's go get cleaned up." She says dragging me behind her into the bedroom.

I change my clothes and join her in bed. I feel like I should feel guilty, but I don't. And I'm concerned about not feeling guilty. Now that's fucked up.

We settle into bed, her head on my chest. Tonight I have to tell her something very painful from my past. I should be terrified, but I'm unusually calm.

"My parents were killed by a drunk driver." I start.

She's quiet. Her hand is lazily stroking my hair.

"I was in the car too."

I think I hear her gasp, but that is all she does. After a few minutes she kisses me tenderly on the lips, and we fall into a peaceful sleep.

She is an incredible woman, person. I think I love her. I wish that was enough is my last thought before I drift off.

**A/N**

**He was awake this time! Any thoughts about what Edward is thinking?**

**How about his revelation?**

**Okay... don't hate me... with the holidays coming, etc. I'm going to change my posting schedule to every three days. So you will get the next chapter on Friday instead of Thursday. My beta and I thank you for your understanding :)**


	31. Chapter 31

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Banner by AnaFluttersby**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward**

**Chapter 31**

**BPOV**

I wake in the morning, snuggled up next to Edward. His arm lies across my body. I move as little as I can to see his face. He looks so young, unbothered. A small smile plays across his lips.

Did I put that smile there? Did I push him too much? I told him, no regrets, and I meant it. I have no regrets, only concern that my forwardness was too much, too soon.

My body was telling me it wasn't soon enough, but my brain knows I have to take baby steps with Edward. The problem is, I didn't think he was ever going to initiate anything physically between us.

Being the aggressor was easier than I thought it would be. I just had to do what my body wanted. I am so intensely attracted to him. My draw to him is practically an instinct. Convincing him to go along was the difficult part.

He let go, and it was beautiful to watch. He's so shy, but so sexy. He doesn't even know it, which makes him even more appealing. When we kiss, I'm on fire. Wherever we touch, I burn. I burn for more. More of him. Fully clothed, and that was the best sexual experience of my life. Pathetic, I know.

And then there's the bombshell he dropped before we went to sleep. His parents were killed by a drunk driver and he was in the car with them. Well, that explains his aversion to drinking and driving.

I have so many questions, but I can be patient... about some things.

I sneak another look at his face and he's watching me. Smiling.

"Good morning, beautiful." He says, sleep in his voice.

"Good morning, handsome." I respond.

No awkwardness between us, whew.

**~MMB~**

The next few days are a blur. We're still in our little intimate bubble. Soft touches, fiery make out sessions. Nothing as... fulfilling as the night on the couch. Sign...

"I need to go by my house pretty soon. I've been putting off doing some work for my editor for too long." I say over breakfast one morning.

"Of course, when do you want to go? I can go with you this weekend, or you could go with Seth." He says disappointment in his voice. Aw, he wants to go with me, so sweet.

"I can wait until the weekend. Maybe we could spend the night there so I can air the place out. Jake has been watering outside, but otherwise the place has been closed up. I'm sure it's stuffy and dusty."

"Actually, my parents are home from their trip and they want us to come to dinner on Sunday. We could sleep at your place after dinner. They live closer to your house anyway, if you want to come to dinner at my parents that is." Why is he so insecure?

"I'd love to see your parents. Will everyone be there?" I say enthusiastically.

"They usually are. I can call Jasper and Emmett if you want me to find out."

"No, it's okay. I'm sure I'll talk to Alice this week."

This should be interesting. How are Edward and I going to be around his family? Is our affection only for private? If they question us about our relationship, what do we say?

"Um, I'm going to see my therapist twice this week. She would like to meet you." He says not looking up from his plate.

When I don't respond, he gets all nervous. "You don't have to meet her, Bella. It's nothing formal. She just wants to put a face with the name, since we talk about you a lot."

"You talk about me?" I squeak. Oh, shit. What does that mean? I need counseling too? I'm hindering his progress? My heart is pounding. "Uh, I don't know."

He reaches across the table and takes my hand. "I didn't mean to upset you or put you on the spot. You're a big part of my healing right now. She just wants to meet you. Just think about it, no pressure." He says, giving my hand a squeeze before releasing it. He smiles at me nervously.

"Um, okay. I'll think about it." I say.

We wash the breakfast dishes side by side. I'm too lost in thought to talk. I catch Edward watching me. When our eyes meet, I can tell he's trying to figure out what I'm thinking so hard about.

My thoughts and emotions are all over the place. I feel like I'm in over my head with Edward and his revelations right now. He's shared some really heavy stuff, especially lately. He keeps sharing without my asking or questioning. That's good right? Or is it not? Why does the therapist want to meet me? Am I a bad influence on him, a distraction?

I take a deep breath before I speak. "I don't mind meeting your therapist as long as she's not going to ask me to stay away from you." I'm laying my insecurities out there.

"What?" He asks, obviously shocked. "Why would you say that?"

"I don't know. Maybe she thinks I'm not good for you. You're making such great progress talking about your past. Maybe she thinks you'd be doing even better if I wasn't around." I shrug.

"Exactly the opposite, Bella, she probably wants to thank you. I've opened up to you more than I've ever opened up to anyone. She probably wants to meet the person who's helped me so much." He says, pulling me into a hug.

"Are you sure? I want to be good for you. I only want to help you." I sigh into his chest.

"You are good for me. The best." He says, rubbing my back. "Please, don't ever worry about that."

"Okay."

"I better get going. My appointment is in an hour." He kisses me on the lips, and heads to the shower.

That was scary. Just thinking about being out of Edward's life almost gave me a panic attack. I'm almost as scared to realize how strongly I feel about him. No matter what, I will see this through. I will be there for him as he faces his past. What happens after that is anyone's guess.

**~MMB~**

In the nights that follow, Edward tells me that he spent almost a year in and out of the hospital because of his injuries. He doesn't elaborate on those injuries. I've seen no outward signs of injury as he doesn't have any visible scars or physical limitations that I can see.

I learn that he met Esme while he was in the hospital, and Esme brought Carlisle back to meet Edward that same day. They visited him every day they were in England for the medical conference. They started the adoption procedures during that visit. Carlisle and Esme used to go to a conference in England every year until Edward came to live with them.

He tells me that his Aunt and Uncle planned on adopting him, but his money was tied up in a trust fund until he was eighteen. Without access to his money, they didn't want him anymore. They blamed it on his health issues, but he knows it was the money. What horrible people. How could they do that to an injured child, family?

On Friday, we go together to his therapy appointment. I wait uncomfortably in the waiting room during Edward's session. I try to keep busy reading emails, playing Words with Friends, whatever I can do to keep myself from freaking out. I want to make a good impression on his therapist.

The door opens making me jump. I stand as Edward enters the room. An older lady with a kind smile is following him.

"Bella this is Maggie Cope. Maggie, this is my... Bella." Edward says proudly.

She grabs my outstretched hand in both of hers. "I'm so happy to meet you, Bella." She smiles, looking me directly in the eyes. It should be unnerving, but it's not. We have an immediate understanding. We are both here for Edward and what is in his best interest.

I smile in return. "It's a pleasure to meet you too, Mrs. Cope."

"Please call me Maggie." She says, giving me a squeeze and a wink, before releasing my hand.

"Thanks, Maggie, see you next week." Edward says grabbing my hand and heading out the door.

I smile and wave to her over my shoulder.

"You're very, um, excited." I say as he drags me into the elevator.

When the elevator doors close he spins me around and pins me to the wall with his body. His hands are on the wall on either side of my head. He just looks at me, smiling.

"What?" I ask nervously.

"You are very beautiful, Miss Swan." He says kissing my neck. "And you smell amazing." Kiss. "I'm lucky to have you in my life." Kiss.

He's never done anything like this before. Just when he's about to kiss me on the lips, ding. The elevator door opens. He pushes off of the wall, taking my hand like nothing happened.

If he wasn't holding my hand I don't think I could walk. I'm a panting, hot mess.

He smirks like he knows what he's done to me.

Besides needing a change of panties, I'm able to function while we go out to lunch. However, the sexual tension is at full force.

I'm sure we look like any normal couple. Touching, laughing, kissing. It's nice to pretend.

Before dinner, we work out together in his home gym. He has weights, a tread mill, an elliptical type machine and a mat for stretching. Over the past week he's shown me how to use everything.

Don't ask me how a sweaty Edward can be so damn sexy, but he is. All he's wearing today is a pair of long gym shorts, no shirt. He knows I like it when he works out without a shirt on. He's such a tease. Maybe I should work out topless?

I get my revenge after our workout. When we're heading out of the gym to take showers, I purposely walk ahead of him. I start shedding layers of my workout clothes as I go; tank top...gone, exercise bra...gone, shorts...gone. I smile over my shoulder at him; just before I bend at the waist and remove my panties. I go into the bathroom, leaving him there standing in the hallway, his hands over his junk. Internal fist pump, Bella! Enjoy your shower, Edward.

That night we watch a movie, his choice tonight, an action movie as usual. I doze off part way through with my head on his shoulder. When I wake up my head is in his lap and he's stroking my hair. I turn to look at him and he grimaces. I quickly raise my head and he gives me a tight, apologetic smile. Did I hurt him? Why the grimace?

"Sorry." I mumble as I get up and head to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

When I go into the bedroom the lights are already out and he's lying on his back staring at the ceiling. I climb under the covers and he opens his arm for me to lay my head on his chest.

"Maggie thinks you may have some questions for me. But I may not answer them all just yet. Are you okay with that?"

"It doesn't matter what I want, Edward. Are you okay with that?" I ask.

"Yes, I think so. Some things just might be too difficult for me to answer, now."

"Um, okay." I pause for a minute. "What were your parents like?"

"I wish my memories were clearer. I know I look a lot like my mother, but I'm built like my dad. They were very much in love and affectionate. Our house had a lot of love and laughter. It wasn't perfect, but we were happy..." He drifts off, pausing. "I have a few family photos. I'll show you some time."

"I'd like that." I say yawning. "Thanks, Edward, for sharing yourself with me."

He kisses me on the head and we fall into a peaceful sleep.

As usual we wake wrapped in each other's arms. I didn't think I was a cuddler, but with Edward I am.

Edward starts to get up, but leans over to give me a kiss. I grab him and pull him down on top of me. We both start laughing.

I don't know if it's the laughing, the weight of his body on mine or just because it's us. But the laughter turns to sexual tension very quickly.

I wrap my arms around his shoulders and shift my body slightly. Our bodies are lined up perfectly.

"Bella." He moans, closing his eyes.

I wrap one leg around his thigh. He pushes his body into mine very slightly.

I move my hips under him. I can feel his hardening cock on my inner thigh.

"Edward." He opens his eyes and looks at me. I see desire, lust, conflict, fear.

"Kiss me?" I ask.

He pauses and then lowers his lips to mine. He gives me sweet pecks, no open mouth, no tongue. It's not enough. He's holding back.

I start kissing down his neck, licking, nipping. My hands are in his hair, scraping his scalp. I know he likes when I do that.

He makes these cute little growling sounds when I do something he likes His breaths are becoming irregular and I feel the weight of his body pressing into mine.

"You taste so good. You feel so good on top of me." I say breathlessly as I nibble his earlobe, trying to crumble his resolve.

That earns me a groan. He presses his cock into my leg. Move just a little to the left and higher, please.

"Bella." He moans putting his hands on either side of my face. "We need to stop. You feel too good."

"That's exactly why I don't want to stop. You feel so good." I say lifting my head to kiss his lips, sweeping my tongue across his bottom lip.

"Oh, God." He moans, opening his mouth to mine. We kiss slowly, passionately, until we're both panting.

I slide my hands under his shirt and raise it up. He hesitates and then helps me pull it over his head. My hands run over the hardness of his chest as he watches me intently.

I reach down and grab the bottom of my tank top and raise it up. His breath catches when it rises above my breasts.

"Help me get this off please." I ask. He silently shifts his weight to the side and helps me get it over my head.

He stops and just gazes at my breasts in awe. "Can I touch you?" He asks.

"Please."

His hand circles my breasts, avoiding the sensitive nipple. I push my chest into his hands and he smiles.

Finally, he gently rubs his thumb over my sensitive, hard nipples. I moan in pleasure.

He pinches, rubs, and squeezes, until I'm a writhing beneath him.

When he stops, I open my eyes, ready to convince him why we shouldn't stop. Instead, he looks like he's looking at his last meal.

He shifts his weight over me again and kisses my stomach, between my breasts, my neck. He takes one of my nipples into his mouth, licking, nibbling, and sucking. I think I could cum just from this. Well, almost.

While his driving me crazy with his mouth. I'm writhing and seeking friction with my lower body. My thigh rubs against his hardened length, and he hisses. I do it again and he thrusts into my leg, it's not enough.

I wriggle my body and wrap my other leg around his thigh, opening myself to him. I move until I have him right where I want him, need him. I lift my hips and grind into his cock.

"Oh, Bella." He sighs, kissing my lips.

I pull his hips into me with my legs, setting a rhythm. He gasps, or groans with each thrust.

"Oh Bella. You feel so good. You drive me crazy. I can't stop." He thrusts getting stronger, more purposeful.

"Then don't." I moan.

I'm lost in the sensations, his cock rubbing my clit just right with each thrust. I move my legs higher and wrap them around his waist.

"Oh baby. I'm gonna... are you close?" he breaths out between thrusts.

"Oh yes, right there. Harder, Edward." I yell.

"I can't last much longer. So good, Bella, you feel, perfect." He moans.

I hit my peak and shatter under him all but yelling his name.

He cums right along with me, moaning my name.

We lay there panting, sweating, sated. I rub his back gently as we come down.

I love the weight of him on me. He's so hard and strong, yet gentle and soft.

"Wow, that was..." I offer.

"Yes, yes it was." He says into my neck where his head is resting.

He lifts off of me, giving me a sweet kiss. "I think we need showers. I know I do." He smirks, as he leaves the room.

I lay there a little longer relishing in the moment. That was mind blowing, and once again we have clothes on. We managed to get topless this time. Baby steps, like I said.

**A/N**

**Playful Edward! I like him :)**

**Some of you are getting impatient with Edward. If you stick with me, I guarantee you will understand why he is how he is.**

**Thanks for the kind words. **

**Hope this holiday season is finding all of you healthy and thankful :)**

**Next update Monday.**


	32. Chapter 32

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Banner by AnaFluttersby**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward**

**Chapter 32 Part 1 (Don't kill me, but I broke this long chapter into two parts)**

**EPOV**

This woman is going to kill me. I try to resist her, but she is too tempting. As much as I want her physically, I want her mentally and emotionally more. I hope that fact is coming across to her. She deserves love, not just physical attraction. She deserves a man who worships her in every way. I'm probably not that man, but I can lay the ground work for her to trust again.

Over breakfast we discuss our day.

"Let's head out to my parents early today. I'd like to surf and I'm sure the boys would like to run around on the beach." I say.

"Do we need to bring anything for dinner?"

"Nope, we should just pack a bag for tonight and take off. Seth is following us in his car and Paul is staying here and watching the rescue."

"Okay, I can be ready in an hour." She says while I'm clearing the table.

"I'll do the dishes; you go do whatever it is you need to do." I say as I booty her away from the sink.

She laughs and flicks water at me before she leaves the room.

I chuckle and shake my head. I can barely remember what this apartment was like without her. She has brought so much light into my life; she and Buddy, both. With Buddy here, I now have Booboo as my own personal dog. When she and Buddy are gone, I'm glad I won't be here totally alone.

We take my car to Laguna, because the surf racks are on the top.

Bella seems more nervous than usual. "Are you okay?" I ask her as we drive down the coast.

"Yep, I'm fine. I just haven't seen your family in a while."

After the greetings, hugs and kisses with my parents. Bella, the dogs and I go down to the beach.

Bella sits on the beach, and throws balls for the dogs while I go out and surf. I can feel her watching me. I show off a little, I can't help it. I like it when she looks at me. I check to make sure she's still on the beach every few minutes, like she's going to disappear again.

The next time I look she's standing at the water's edge. I ride my board in to where she's standing.

"Do you want to go for a swim?" I ask.

"Kind of. I'm hot and I think I wore out the dogs for now. They're crashed on our now very sandy towels." She laughs.

I sneak a peek at the boys and they look spent.

I run my board up to the dry sand. "Let's go." I say as a grab her hand as we make our way to deeper water.

"The temperature is perfect." She says.

"It's all perfect." I add smiling down at her beautiful face.

"I know, the waves are great. You looked like you were having fun. When did you start surfing?"

"Hmm, I guess I started when I was about twelve. It took me a few years to build up enough strength to swim in the ocean. I swam a lot for physical therapy, but the ocean is very different."

"Well, you're very good. I like watching you. It's...sexy."

"Sexy, huh?" I say pulling her into an embrace. The water is at my waist, her chest.

A wave comes and I lift her up. She wraps her legs around my waist. Oh, I like this position. So many dirty thoughts enter my mind. I want her like this against the wall, door, or shower tile.

I kiss her waiting mouth. I lick her lips and she opens for me. She smells like sunshine and coconut. "Umm, you taste good, baby." I hum against her lips.

"You feel good." She says.

I hold her to me with one arm, turning her back to the shore. My other hand skims her stomach and breasts. She arches into my hands when I circle her taut nipples.

She glances back at the beach, which is empty except for the two sleeping dogs.

I move my hand lower and touch her hot center through her thin bikini bottoms. I can feel her heat even in the cold water.

I rub up and down, she moves along with me, her head resting on my chest.

"More please." She whispers.

I slide my hand in the side of her bikini by her thigh. She's slick and wet and hot.

"You're so wet, baby. So hot." I groan.

"Only for you." She pants.

I move up and down her lips avoiding her clit. She moves against my hand, seeking contact with her sensitive nub.

"What do you want, baby?"

"Everything." She moans.

I slip one finger inside her, curling it forward. My thumb hits her clit each time I thrust my finger.

I slip a second finger in causing her to moan in pleasure. "You like that baby?"

"Yes, more, Edward. Please, more." She begs.

I add a third finger making sure I rub her G-spot with each thrust. My thumb keeps constant pressure on her throbbing nub.

She rides my fingers and grinds against my thumb. She's so sexy. I watch in awe as she climaxes and pulses around my hand. I can't help but wish it was my cock feeling her wetness, heat and tightness.

Watching her, feeling her, makes me rock hard. What she does to me. It doesn't help that she's kissing my neck and tasting the salt on my skin as she comes down from her orgasm.

"Yum, you're salty." She mumbles. My mind goes straight to the gutter, because I picture her saying exactly that while tasting another part of my anatomy.

"You like that don't you." She purrs as she rubs against my very hard cock.

"I like anything you do, Bella." I groan as our lips meet for a deep passionate kiss.

"Can I touch you?" She asks hesitantly.

"Um... someone might see us." I state trying to stall. I'm sure Seth is up on my parent's patio watching the beach.

"Turn your body this way, with your back to the shore."

I do as she asks, but I still don't know how this is going to work. And I'm terrified of how the velcro on my trunks could cause some me serious pain.

"Get in a little shallower." She says.

We back up until the water is just below the top of my trunks. She lowers herself to stand in front of me, the water lapping at her perky breasts.

She palms my erection, making me gasp.

"These trucks have got to go." She says as she opens the front. My heart pounds in my chest with anticipation. No one has ever touched me before, besides myself.

"Push them down, but hold onto them. We don't want them floating away or sinking." She giggles. "That might be hard to explain to your parents. Hard." She giggles again.

I do as I'm told. I do a quick look over my shoulder at the beach, just to make sure we're alone.

"Hold onto my shoulder. I don't want to float away." She says as I feel her fingers lightly graze the length of my cock, causing me to shiver.

"Are you cold?" She asks looking up through her lashes.

"No." I whisper.

She takes me into her hand, firm, but gentle, she strokes my eager cock. I wish I could see her hands on me. I close my eyes and rest my forehead on hers as she works me, picturing how good she would look touching me.

"Oh, baby. That feels so good." I moan into her skin.

"It feels good to finally touch you. I just wish I could see you." She says as she stops and runs her thumb over the sensitive head.

"Am I doing it right? I mean, I kind of figured you're not circumcised. Am I doing it okay?"

"Better than okay, baby. Good, really good." I gasp out between breaths.

Her soft hand is stroking me from base to tip, giving the head some swirly motion with the pad of her thumb, her other hand on my hip holding me close to her.

"You are so hard Edward and big. I wish I could see you. I want to taste you." She says in a sexy voice.

"Oh, God, Bella. You have no idea how good you make me feel. This is beyond my wildest fantasy."

"Anything for you, baby." She purrs.

"I'm close…oh, so good." I say thrusting my hips into her waiting hand.

My words encourage her and her strokes become faster and stronger. I'm panting, on the edge of ecstasy.

She takes her other hand and cups my balls, gently stroking them, sending me over the top.

"Oh, oh, Bella," I moan gripping her by the waist pulling her to me as I cum in her hand and against her stomach.

"Baby, that was amazing." I say kissing her firmly on the mouth.

"Next time, I want to see what I'm doing to you." She says kissing my heaving chest.

We stay like that for a few minutes while I regain my composure and get my trunks back in place. We walk back to the shore hand in hand.

I don't think I've ever felt happier, more alive. If I was a betting man, I'd bet Bella felt the same way.

"Let's go in the spa before dinner." I say.

"Sure. Maybe I'll see if your parents need some help first."

"After the spa, I'm not done with you yet." I say matter of factly.

We get two beers and head to the spa. It is in a secluded area of the patio, so I pull Bella onto my lap. She seems a little uncomfortable.

"What is it, baby?" I ask rubbing her back.

"I just, I mean. When is everyone else supposed to get here?" She asks looking around the patio.

"Are you worried that someone might see us like this?" I ask with concern.

"Well, no. But I don't want to make you uncomfortable. This is your family, and we are... different."

"Different, how?" I ask.

"We, we are undefined. If they ask questions, I, we, don't have answers. Do we?"

"Bella, we are anything you want us to be. We care about each other. We have a connection like nothing I've ever experienced. I'd do anything for you, but first and foremost we are friends. If my family asks questions I'll follow your lead, whatever you want to say is fine. I trust you."

"I feel the same way about you, Edward. I just don't want to mislead your family. What we have now might change once James is found." She says looking down while playing with our hands under water.

I grab her chin and turn her head towards me. I wait until she raises her eyes to meet mine.

"Bella, we can have what we have now, and more, once James is found. With you around I feel like I'm finally living. My life is full of happiness, laughter and...lo... because of you. I will always want you in my life like this. I'll take as much or as little of you as you'll give me."

She smiles at me and gives me kiss. But her eyes are still wary. She still doesn't trust.

"When we first met you said that you didn't believe in romantic love. Do you still feel that way?" I inquire.

"Hmm." She pauses. "I've witnessed more love and loving relationships right here in this house than I've seen my whole life. Your parents are so loving and supportive with each other. I bet they've never truly disappointed each other. It gives me hope. I am more hopeful now that it is possible, but I'm still unsure. Besides your parents, there are Rose and Emmett and Alice and Jasper. Both of those couples have such a strong love. Even though Alice and Jasper's relationship is new, their devotion to each other radiates from them. So to answer your question, I don't necessarily believe in romantic love for me. I am more hopeful that it's possible, but I'm not sure if I'm willing to put myself out there and find out."

"Fair enough." I nod.

"What about you?" She asks. "You've made yourself unavailable, too. Have you changed your mind on that?"

I need to answer this carefully, because I don't want to freak her out.

"Well, I think you have helped me. I've opened up and made myself available to what we are and could be. I've never even considered doing that before. So yes, I'm no longer unavailable. But I'm very picky about who I'm available to." I answer with a wink.

She sighs puts her head on my shoulder and we sit in silence contemplating what we just said to each other.

"You two look cozy." Someone says, snapping us back to reality.

We both look in the direction of the voice and there are Alice, Jasper, Rose, Emmett, Mom and Dad standing there with the biggest all-knowing grins on their faces.

"Ignore them, Bella." I say hugging her closer to me. "They'll go away if we just ignore them."

"No, really, guys. Dinner is almost ready. Get dried off." Alice chirps. As they file back into the house.

"Well, that wasn't so bad." I laugh.

"Yeah, not that bad." Bella says, sarcasm evident in her voice.

I get out and hand her a towel. She gives me a weak thank you and smile. Maybe she's not ready for this. Maybe I shouldn't have brought her here.

I'm anxious as we all sit down for dinner, but it goes well. The conversation flows and Bella and I are not the topic of interest. Bella seems to relax as the evening wears on. She is perfect with my family. She has opinions, but she's not opinionated. She laughs, talks and offers to help. I can't image bringing anyone else here.

"After dinner we're going to Bella's house to spend the night. She needs to get a few things." I mention over dessert.

"Are you sure that's safe, dear?" My mom asks.

"I don't see why not. The place has been closed up for weeks. Plus we will have Seth with us." I say.

We help clean up and say our goodbyes. My family makes sure to hug Bella and tell her how much they enjoy having her here. That's why I love them so much.

It's only about a fifteen minute drive to her house.

"Was tonight okay?" I ask her.

"Yeah, it was great. Your family is wonderful. They care about you very much." She responds.

"I know I'm lucky to have them."

I park the car in her driveway. "Here we are." I say getting out of the car and grabbing our bags.

Seth gets out of his car and walks over to us. "Let me check the perimeter." He says.

The dogs are loose and running around the front yard. "Are you glad to be home, Buddy?" Bella says as she opens the front door, letting the dogs run inside.

"I'll turn on some lights, she says disappearing into the dark house."

"We should wait for Seth." I yell after her.

The light goes on in her bedroom and the dogs are nowhere to be found; they're probably smelling their way around the house.

"Bella? Where's the switch for the light here in the living room?" I ask stumbling in the dark house.

She doesn't answer.

"Bella?" I yell. The dogs start barking like crazy in the direction of her bedroom.

"Bella, you're freaking me out here." I say as I move towards the only light in the house.

"Buddy, Booboo, hush." I say as I freeze in the doorway of her bedroom.

**A/N **

**It's a Christmas Cliffie. My gift to you ;)**

**Any Theories? Opinions?**

**Next update on Thursday. **

**Happy Holidays to all of you! Thank you for your ongoing support :)**

**Teaser on Fictionators today for Part 2 of the chapter.**


	33. Chapter 33

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Banner by AnaFluttersby**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward**

**Chapter 32 Part 2 **

**EPOV**

I am struggling to process what I'm seeing in front of me. I can barely hear the dogs barking over the sound of my heart pounding loudly in my head.

"Get rid of those dogs or I will." He spits.

I'm afraid to avert my eyes for fear he'll take her or hurt her. Glancing back at him frequently, I corral the barking dogs and lock them in the bathroom. They are still barking, but at least it's muffled.

I return to the doorway. Nothing has changed.

James is standing behind Bella. His left hand is fisting her hair tightly to her scalp; his right hand is holding a butcher knife to her throat.

The look on her face is sheer panic and pain. Her eyes plead with me. To do what? I don't know.

"I knew you'd eventually come home my pretty girl. I've been waiting. Right here in your house. I was hoping you'd come alone, but bringing your boyfriend might just suit me better." He coos to Bella.

"No security, no bodyguards? I'm surprised, Edward. You strike me as being more thorough than that." He says glaring at me.

I don't answer.

"Edward, how does it feel to know another man will soon have your woman?" He goads. "I know things about her that you could never know. I've known her since we were kids. I've looked in every drawer, read everything she's ever written and seen every photo she owns. How can you compete with that pretty boy?"

He turns his attention back to Bella, stroking her chin with the thumb of the hand holding the knife. "We'll be alone soon, little one. Don't worry. I just need to eliminate him and we'll take off together. Where do you want to go, my pretty girl?"

I see tears running down her face. He's hurting her.

I weigh my options. I could distract him and lunge for them. I could try to convince him to take me with them. I could sacrifice myself in hopes she'll be able to get away. Why didn't we wait for Seth? Seth! I need to buy some time.

"How did you get in here, James?" I question.

"Oh, that was easy. The back door could be opened with a butter knife." He boasts.

"How did you and Bella meet?" I continue.

"I think it was in elementary school. I saw her across the playground and I knew she would be mine. I've tried for years to get her to realize that we're meant to be together. But you're a stubborn one aren't you." He coos to Bella in a sickly sweet voice.

"You two lost touch for a few years. How did you find her again?" I probe.

"Our reunion is thanks to you, my friend." He laughs bitterly. "You brought us back together when you hired me to investigate your neighbors. Imagine my surprise and delight when I found my Bella again." He smiles. "Ironically, you reunited us."

"What are your plans for you and Bella once you leave here?"

"I have big plans for us. An extended vacation so to speak. Maybe a honeymoon. Should we give Edward a taste of what we're going to be doing together pretty girl?"

He starts moving her towards the bed. I can hear her muffled cries. A trickle of blood runs down her neck.

"James, you're hurting her. She's bleeding." I urge.

"You have some sharp knives, pretty one. I didn't mean to cut you. As long as you cooperate I will never hurt you."

"Maybe you should tend to her cut?" I suggest.

"Get me what I need then, Edward. Your last kind act for your girlfriend." He laughs.

I quickly go to the bathroom and get a damp rag and a few bandages, making sure to not let the dogs escape.

"Throw it." He says. I toss the items on the floor in front of them.

He unwinds his hand from her hair and bends down to retrieve them. He's no longer blocking the window and that's when I see Seth in the backyard, standing just outside the slightly open bedroom window. His gun is drawn. He signals something to me that I hope I understand. It could be the difference between life and death.

James stands and gently wipes her neck.

I count; one, two, three. I lunge for Bella, pushing her away from James.

I hear the pop. The motions are a blur, it happens so fast.

I cover her body with mine. She's free of James.

Someone enters the room.

"It's okay, Edward. He's dead." I breathe for the first time in minutes.

"Bella, it's okay, Bella. I've got you." And I do. She's in my arms, she's safe. Why is it getting dark in here? Blackness.

**~MEB~**

My body feels like lead. My arms and legs weigh hundreds of pounds. It hurts to breath. I focus on shallow breathing as I fall back into blackness.

I hear voices, some I know, some I don't. It's noisy. I'm not at home, or at my parents'.

I'm still stuck. I can't move. I drift off again.

I hear her. She's saying my name. I want to answer her, but I can't make my mouth move. She's crying. Why is she crying? All goes black.

"Edward. Come back to me." I can feel her breath on my face. It gives me goose bumps.

"Edward. I need you. Your family needs you. Booboo needs you. Wake up baby."

I want to answer her. My brain is telling my body what it wants, but my body is slow to respond.

"Bella." I rasp out. My throat is so dry.

"Yes, Edward! I'm here. Wake up. I want to see those beautiful green eyes." She encourages.

My eyes flutter. It's so bright. I close them again.

"Let me dim the light." I hear her move away and come back. "Okay, it's not so bright now. Open those eyes, baby."

I try to open them again. Everything is unfocused. I turn to where her voice was. She's smiling at me through her tears.

"Bella, are you okay? Did he hurt you?" I force out.

"Shhh, I'm fine. Thanks to you. You're the injured one." She says rubbing my arm.

"What happened?"

"James is gone." She says looking down. "When you pushed me out of the way you fell on the knife."

"Where?" I can't tell. It hurts everywhere.

"Your chest, your lung. It was touch and go for a while. Your chest filled up with blood. You had surgery and you lost a lot of blood and had to have a transfusion."

I grimace when I try to move. "Can I get you anything? Are you in pain?"

"Can I have some water?" I ask. "How long have I been here?"

She holds the cup while I take a long drag from the straw. "Two days. It's Tuesday night."

"Your parents and Alice have been here most of the time. They just went to grab something to eat."

"I'm glad you're here." I try to smile at her, but fail miserably.

"Edward." She grasps my hand. "I could have lost you. I've never been so scared in my life."

"I'm sorry James touched you. Are you sure you're not hurt. What about your neck?"

"Just a superficial wound, I'm fine." She rubs her thumbs on my palm. It feels good.

"Are the dogs okay? Seth?" I ask.

"The dogs are fine, but missing you. Seth has been busy talking to the police, answering questions. He and Paul are still at the rescue helping out, especially with Buddy and Booboo."

"Okay, I say." Closing my eyes.

"You rest. I'm not going anywhere." She says kissing my forehead. I think I manage a real smile this time. I doze off again.

Dreams and reality are blending together. I like sleeping, it's less painful. I want to see everyone, talk to them, but it's easier to sleep. I can hear them sometimes. They were talking about me, like I'm some hero. If it wasn't for me there would be no need for a hero. I'm the cause of this, all of this. Hero, pffttt.

I wake up when my family is here. They gently hug me and treat me like I'm something special. I don't like it. I smile and I'm polite.

Emmett and Jasper come by. They try to cheer me up with their antics. Talking about how we can have a guy's night now that I'm not tied down anymore. Like that is supposed to make me feel better. It only makes me feel worse.

Bella is here almost every time I wake up. She's the best thing about my day right now. Hell, not right now, for the last month or more. She knows I'm having nightmares again.

They sense something is off with me. I hear them whispering. Hospitals, I hate hospitals. I just need some time, and I need to get out of here. The memories. This place brings them all back.

"Bella, you don't have to do this." I say over my yummy hospital lunch tray.

"Do what?" She questions.

"Be here, taking care of me. You don't owe me anything."

She looks hurt by my words. I don't want to hurt her, but I want to give her an out, a chance to go back to her life. Not the life that was forced upon her with me, by me. I've been really selfish.

"Edward, I want to be here." She says shyly, looking out the window. "I don't feel like I owe you. We are friends remember? You said it yourself. Even after James." She smiles at me.

I'm still not convinced. When I get home she can go back to her life, and I can figure out mine without her.

Bella seems nervous this morning. They are talking about discharging me. I don't know where I'm going to go. I can't take care of myself, yet. My parents will drive me crazy if I stay with them. I want my own apartment, my own bed. Maybe I'll hire a nurse until I get stronger and can move around more easily.

The door to my room opens, "Hi Edward, so glad to see you awake and doing well. I came by a few days ago and you were resting." She turns to Bella. "Good to see you again, Bella. How's our patient?" She teases.

"Hi, Maggie. He's getting better every day." Bella responds taking my hand. I nod at Maggie.

"I'll let you two talk." Bella is up and gone before I can protest.

Maggie sits in the chair and eyes me carefully. "What's going on, Edward?"

"What do you mean?" I evade.

"You're different. Even I can see it and I've been here for about a minute." She says.

"I hate hospitals." I say sounding like a whiney child. I'm reverting, ughh.

"Bad memories?"

"You could say that."

"How about nightmares?"

"Those too." I nod.

"That's to be expected. They should subside when you get back home." She pauses. "There's something else bothering you. Do you know what it is?"

I shrug.

"Would you mind if I tell you what I think?"

I shrug again.

"We've know each other for a long time, Edward. I wouldn't say this unless I was absolutely sure. We've discussed this before. You suffer from Survivors Guilt and PTSD. Both of which have been triggered by being injured and in the hospital again. You feel vulnerable. The loss, the fear, everything you felt as a small child in the hospital has flooded back."

I nod. "They treat me like I'm something special. It just makes me feel worse. I feel like I have some ugly secret and if they find out about it, I'll lose them."

"What secret?" She asks.

"That I'm not special. That I'm broken. That I hurt people because they get close to me. That I'm not worthy of their love." My voice breaks as the tears seep out of my eyes. "Especially Bella."

"Why especially her?" Maggie asks.

I shrug again. "She's special, she deserves... better... everything. And now she's free to find it."

"Are you afraid you're going to lose her?" Maggie asks.

"I never had her. We were forced together. She wasn't with me by choice. Now she knows me, the real me. She'll be gone." I sniff.

"Do you really think that Bella doesn't care about you?"

I shrug again.

"You need to talk to her, Edward. Really talk to her. You are pushing her away with how you're acting right now. At least give her a chance to make her decision on the right information, not secrets and lies or half-truths. You deserve to be happy. It will take time to fully get over the PTSD and guilt, but you can do it. You're not broken, you're human and we all need help sometimes."

"May I talk to Bella? I can't discuss with her anything you and I discuss, but I'd like to see if she needs to talk to someone." She asks.

"Sure, of course." I mumble.

"Edward, think about what I said. You don't want any regrets. Whatever happens between you and Bella, make sure you're honest to her and to yourself. You both deserve that."

I nod. "Thanks, Maggie."

"You have my number, Edward. Anytime you need to talk, don't hesitate to call."

I close my eyes and try to calm myself. Bella doesn't come back before I fall back to sleep. Maybe she's already gone?

**A/N**

**Well... what do you think?**

**Edward has closed himself up tight this time. What should Bella do? Will she leave?**

**Disclaimer- I'm not a doctor. I did some research on the type of injury Edward has, but I may be off on the length of recovery, etc. Gotta love fiction :)**

**Thanks for reading. Next update on Sunday!**


	34. Chapter 34

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Banner by AnaFluttersby**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward**

**Chapter 33**

**BPOV**

I've been sitting here for what seems like days, with way too much time to think, about... everything.

Edward is going to be fine, thank god. I've never been as scared as I was when they were rushing him into emergency surgery. James holding a knife to my neck was nothing compared to the possibility that I might lose Edward.

James is one sick bastard, was one sick bastard. I feel like I can breathe again now that he's gone. But I can't shake this overwhelming sense of dread. Like everything is going to change.

Edward hasn't woken up yet. It's been almost twenty four hours since his surgery. They said it could be anytime. I don't want to leave his side. They brought in a cot for me to sleep on. I don't want to sleep. I want to be the first thing Edward sees when he wakes up.

Alice brought me some clothes. She forced me to take a shower while she sat with Edward. His parents have held vigil at his bedside with me. They haven't asked me to leave. Where would I go? I'm not going back to my house. It's tainted. James has been in every room, doing lord knows what. I can't even think about it without getting sick to my stomach.

I can't go to Edward's. I've already imposed on him too much. He's been so good to me, always putting me and my comfort before his.

My home is this hospital room, until they kick me out, or Edward kicks me out.

I called Maggie yesterday and told her what happened to Edward. She came by this afternoon to check on him. She didn't say much because of Doctor/patient confidentiality. Esme asked her what we should expect when he wakes up. She gave us some possible scenarios. Most likely Edward would have some old emotions resurface from all the time he spent in hospital as a child.

Picturing Edward as a scared, sad child in the hospital all by himself just breaks my heart. I want to be here for him. He's shared so much with me. I know there is a lot I still don't know, but I do know that he doesn't deserve to be alone.

He's unconscious, but I talk to him. I tell him how much I miss him, how much we all do. I talk about random things; the dogs, the hospital food, the nurses eyeing his fine self. Sometimes I think I'm a little nutty.

I watch him constantly, the rise and fall of his chest. He's so beautiful. His hair all bed headed and crazy, the two day scruff on his strong jaw. I hate that damn hospital gown, his abs are hidden.

This one slutty nurse or whatever she is, grilled me for information on Edward's relationship status. "Is he your husband?" She asked in a way too sweet, fake voice. Why did I say no? I even went as far as telling her we were "just friends". How stupid can I be? She's actually brought a few other women by his room to "see how cute he is." How unprofessional. I'm not leaving him alone with any of these skanks. "I hope he's as sweet as he is cute." She dared said to me. Yes, bitch, he is. I answered in my head. Jealous much, Bella? See, going a little crazy here.

I can't blame them really. He's one fine man. Sigh.

Jake came by the hospital last night. I barely remember seeing him at my house when the police and paramedics were there taking us away. He came by to check on me, only me. He stood in Edward's room and didn't ask about him once. He had the nerve to blame Edward for everything that happened with James. I pulled him out into the hall and set him straight, explaining how James is from my past, my childhood. He let up a little on Edward, but I asked him to leave. I will not let anyone blame Edward for this, especially himself.

Edward's gotten more restless throughout the day. They seem to be on top of his pain meds. He looks comfortable for the most part.

He almost wakes up a few times. I ask him to come back to me. I know I'm pathetic. I can't wait to talk to him again, look in his soulful green eyes. I have so much to say to him.

When he finally wakes up, I'm so glad I'm alone with him. Typical Edward asks about everyone else, even the dogs. He tells me I can leave. That hurt a little. He's groggy, so I let him go back to sleep. He seems a little detached; I attribute that to the medication. At least, I hope.

The next morning when the ho-nurse sees him awake for the first time. I'm surprised glass doesn't shatter, she squeals so loudly. Edward visibly jumps, making me laugh. She practically falls all over him with her rather large, in your face cleavage, hovering over his bed. He is polite, but he never once looks at her body. In fact, when she gets close to him, he closes his eyes. She looks dejected when she walks out of the room. I give her a huge smug smile.

We talk, he visits with his family. They laugh and joke. Edward is nice, he's always nice, but he's not himself. I know he's uncomfortable with all of the attention, but it's something else.

When Maggie shows up this afternoon, I practically run out of his hospital room. He needs to talk to her. She needs to try and reach him. He's not the Edward I know and love.

After talking to Edward, she comes to find me in the waiting room. She is visibly concerned.

"Bella, with Edward's permission, I'm here if you want to talk. We can't discuss Edward, but I know this is difficult for you too." She offers.

I slump down in my chair, barely keeping the tears at bay.

"He's not himself. He's blaming himself. He won't talk to me. He even told me I could leave. I know you can't talk about him, but what do I do?"

"What do you want to do, Bella?"

"I want to be here, for him. I want to help him through this. I want him to be a part of my life, even when this is all over." I plead.

"If that's what you truly want, then fight for it. Don't let him push you away. Tell him how you feel. Don't give up on him." She offers.

"But what if he doesn't want me?"

"This isn't about who wants whom. This is about friendship, caring, helping. Do you think he would be here for you, if the situation were reversed? Do you think there is any reason why he wouldn't want to be your friend?" She probes.

"No, I mean, yes. I'm so confused. Yes, he would be here for me, and no, I think he wants me as a friend. Why is this so complicated?"

"Because it's Edward and he is complicated. Is he worth it Bella?" She asks.

"Absolutely." I confirm, without a doubt.

"Then do what you need to do for him and for yourself."

I get up and hug her. "Thanks Maggie. I needed to hear that. I'm surrounded by his family, and they are wonderful, but they're family. I'm coming from a totally different place."

"Of course, dear. Call me anytime." She says as she turns and walks down the hall.

I take a few calming breaths and head back to Edward's room. I'm resigned in my decision. He can't push me away anymore.

He's resting when I enter his room, so I go to my cot and try to nap too.

"Bella, Bella." His voice wakes me from a dreamless sleep.

I go to his side. He seems to still be asleep, having a nightmare. His head is thrashing back and forth on his pillow.

"It's okay, Edward. I'm right here." I whisper in his ear as I run my hand through his hair.

He relaxes and goes back to sleep for a while longer. I sit in the chair, hold his hand and watch him sleep. The cot is too far away.

"Bella?"

"Huh, what. What do you need?" I jump, popping my head up from where it was laying on his hand. Great, hope I didn't drool on him. "Sorry, I must have fallen asleep." I say rubbing my eyes.

He's looking at me with an odd look on his face. "What?" I ask, checking my cheek for drool.

He shakes his head, looking down. "You're still here." He says barely audible.

Here goes. I sit up straighter and square my shoulders.

"Yes, I'm still here. I want to be here. I'm not going anywhere." I state. Looking him directly in the eyes.

We just look at each other. So many emotions pass over his face, surprise, hope, sadness, before his eyes go blank and he shuts me out.

He lays his head back on his pillow, closes his eyes and says. "Suit yourself."

He is so stubborn.

When it's time to go to sleep that night he watches me go into the bathroom. I come out changed into sweatpants and a t-shirt.

"What are you doing?" He asks.

"Going to bed." I say indicating my cot.

"You're sleeping here?" He seems surprised.

"I've been here as long as you've been here, Edward." I say with a shrug.

"Hm." Is his response.

I can't sleep. Edward seems restless. Then I hear the familiar deep breaths he takes before he has something painful to say.

I get up and slide my cot right next to his bed. Even in the darkness I can feel him watching me.

I settle back into the bed and wait.

"I..we were trapped in the car. The fire started in the front of the car, where the impact was. If I hadn't been messing around instead of sitting with my seatbelt on, maybe I could have helped them." His voice is thick with emotion.

"They were conscious. They told me everything would be okay... until it wasn't." He pauses, taking a few shaky breaths. "I heard their screams, I heard them die, and I didn't help them."

I reach my hand up onto his bed and take his hand in mine, rubbing the top with my thumb.

"Maybe if I'd been sitting with my seatbelt on, like a good little boy, I wouldn't have been trapped too and I could have saved them. But I was pinned; both of my legs were pinned. The firefighters got me out before I burned alive too. Lucky me." He adds bitterly.

I fight the urge to jump in his bed with him and hug him and tell him it's not his fault. But he's not ready for that... yet.

Instead, I continue rubbing his hand with mine, as I silently cry. I cry for the boy who went through such a horrific tragedy and I cry for the man who blames himself for his parent's deaths.

**A/N**

**Should I have issued a tissue warning? Poor little Edward, poor big Edward. **

**What else could Bella do to help him?**

**Thanks so much for all of your support and kindness.**

**Next update on Wednesday, in 2013!**

**Here are a few holiday rec's for you.**

**The Christmas Present by beegurl13 (complete)**

**The Twelve Days of Christmas by pattyrose**

**A Home for the Holidays by Cullens TwiMistress**

**Hatchet by PrettyKittyArtist**

**Kidnapped for Christmas by JA Mash**

**O' Holy Christmas by CaraNo**


	35. Chapter 35

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Banner by AnaFluttersby**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward**

**Chapter 33**

**Chapter 34**

**EPOV**

She's here with me, in my dark hospital room, comforting me. I did what Maggie said. I'm trying to tell her things. It hurts like hell. The tears fall silently.

The next few days are filled with doctors, flirty nurses 'eww,' tests, physical therapy, family, friends and Bella. She hasn't left except to shower and grab some decent food for the two of us. Hospital food shouldn't be called food.

I've had a lot of time to think about my life. What I want to do, now and in the future. Part of me wants Bella in that future, but the realistic part of me knows it's not in the cards.

Bella and I haven't talked or even acknowledged my late night confession. Maggie is coming by today to visit. I'm nervous. I know she will have questions for me. Do I have any for her?

"Maggie should be here anytime. Do you need anything? I can go get it while you're talking." Bella asks looking up from her magazine.

"Um, I'd like a chocolate shake. If that's okay?"

I get up and amble to the bathroom, making sure the back of my gown is securely closed. Bella's eyes follow me, but quickly go back to her magazine when I catch her watching me.

**~M~E~B~**

"How have you been, Edward?" Maggie speaks first.

"I feel okay, better each day. They want to send me home tomorrow and to stop taking the pain pills as soon as I can. That's fine, I don't like how they make me feel anyway." I shrug.

"How are the nightmares?" She probes.

"Still there, but not as bad." I answer flatly.

"How about Bella? I see she's still here. How is that going?" She continues. She's not going to let this go is she?

I take a deep breath before I respond.

"I took your advice and I told her everything."

"Everything?"

"Well, almost everything."

"Edward, you need to get it all out. You've come this far. She's been so good for you, to you. She can handle it. She's still here isn't she?"

"I know, but she never asks me any questions. I can't tell what she's thinking. It's very frustrating."

"Keep the communication open with her. Let her know that you're okay with her asking things. She's probably just afraid of causing you more pain."

"What are the plans for when you go home? Are you going to stay with your parents?"

"No, I don't want to stay with them. I'm thinking about hiring a nurse or someone to be around during the day for a few days. You know to cook, clean, help me out with the things I can't do." I indicate to my arm that is virtually strapped to my side.

"One arm is tough, especially with your limited mobility due to the incision. Having someone there would be a good idea." She nods.

She pauses. "What about Bella?"

"What about her?" I question.

"What about Bella staying with you and helping you?"

"I couldn't..."

Maggie interrupts. "Think about it, Edward. My educated opinion is that she doesn't want to go back to her house, because of everything that happened there with James. She's been here this whole time with you, right?"

I nod, thinking about what Maggie is saying.

"Having her help you might just be helping both of you. She either needs to come to terms with going back to her house or she has to make some decisions. By her coming to stay with you and help you, she gets more time to sort this all out."

"I hadn't thought about that." I mumble.

"Just think about it, Edward. I know you'd want to help Bella." She looks around the room. "Well, I think we're done here unless you have something you want to talk about?"

"Is Bella okay?" I hesitantly ask.

"She's not technically my patient, but I feel strongly about keeping her confidences." She hesitates and then says. "She'll be okay."

"Take care of yourself and I expect to see you back in the office as soon as you're up and moving around. Call me if you need to talk."

"Thanks, for coming by here, and for talking to Bella. I worry about her."

"I know you do. You're good for one another." She says over her shoulder as she leaves the room.

I lay my head back on the pillow and close my eyes. I hadn't even thought about Bella coming to my apartment and helping me. I assumed she'd be eager for some freedom, some time away from this place and time away from me. But I wouldn't want to go back to her place and stay either, especially alone. Where is she planning to go? A hotel? Back to stay with her Dad? Jacob's? I don't like any of those options especially the last two. Thinking of her far away from here...it's painful. And her staying with Jacob...drives me crazy. Well, I guess it doesn't hurt to ask. I fall asleep with a more positive outlook about going home.

**~M~E~B~**

"Thanks for the shake, it's really good." I say between sips. Bella is drinking a shake also.

"I was thinking about when I go home." I pause. "I'll need some help for at least the first few days. What do you think I should do? I really want to go home, not to my parent's." I say, watching her reaction.

"Home is good. It's where you're most comfortable. Booboo will go crazy when he sees you." She laughs.

"I know, but I don't think I can stay alone. I can't bend over yet and only have use of one arm. I guess I should hire a nurse or something."

"That's silly. I can stay with you. I know my way around your place already. I know what you like to eat, the music you like to listen to and the shows you like to watch. We used to be roomies, remember?" She teases.

"I couldn't ask you to do that, Bella." I shake my head, trying not to be too convincing.

"You didn't ask. I offered. I want to do it. I want to help you." She says with conviction.

"If you're sure?" I ask.

"Absolutely. I'll take care of everything. You just rest." She beams, quickly taking out her phone and texting.

I guess Maggie was right, Bella wants to help me, and I might even be helping her. I'll see how she feels  
about her house over the next few days.

**~M~E~B~**

"Wow, the place looks great." I say when I finally make it up the stairs and into the apartment. The place has obviously been cleaned.

"Hi boys." I try to bend over to pet Booboo and Buddy, but it hurts. They are so excited and going crazy jumping on me. Good thing they're small dogs. I don't need a paw in the gut.

"They missed you." Bella smiles and I can't help but smile back. It feels so good to be home.

"Do you need anything?" She asks.

"No, I think I'll just rest on the sofa and watch some tv."

"You better protect your incision with a pillow. Those dogs aren't going to leave you alone any time soon." She says while helping me lower myself onto the sofa and handing me a pillow and the remote.

"I'm going to work on dinner. Just call if you need anything." She offers. Bending down, she puts her hand on my shoulder and gives me a kiss on the forehead before leaving the room. Hmmmm. What's that about? Not that I mind, just different.

Our evening is relaxing. I doze off and on, but try not to take any pain pills. We try watching a comedy, but it hurts too much to laugh. We end up watching some lame chick flick. Bella seems to enjoy it.

"I think I'm going to go to bed." I say, feeling a little awkward. Before the hospital Bella and I shared my bed every night.

"Okay, I'll help you get settled. I'll sleep out here and you can just yell if you need me."

I'm disappointed to be sleeping alone, but this is how it is now.

I'm able to do most of my nightly ritual. I just can't bend over to put on sleep pants. I stand in the bathroom thinking about how this is going to work. When I asked Bella to help me I didn't think about things like this. I get an idea.

I wrap a towel around my waist and walk out of the bathroom.

"Bella, can you help me please."

"Sure, what do you need?" She stops short inside the bedroom door.

"Um, I need to change my pants can you just help me get them off and on my feet?"

"Surfer towel change style, huh?" She teases as she kneels in front of me.

She pulls my pants down by grabbing the loose fabric at the knees. I step into my sleep pants. "Can you just slide them up above my knees?" I ask.

It feels so intimate to have her close, helping me, her warm hands on my thighs, gently sliding my pants up to where I can reach them.

I let out the breath I've been holding. "Thanks, I think I can get it from here."

I turn and waddle into the bathroom to get my pants all the way up. I'm so happy to be out of a hospital gown.

When I leave the bathroom Bella is sitting on the edge of the bed.

"I brought you some water and a pain pill. I know you're trying to wean yourself off of these, but you may need it in the night. Call me if you need anything, anything at all."

She rambles as I'm getting into bed.

"Do you need anything else?" She asks concern in her eyes.

"No, I'm good." I give her a reassuring smile.

She tucks the blankets under my chin, leans down and kisses me on the check. "Sleep tight, Edward." Then she's gone.

I can feel exactly where she kissed me, tingly. It's so good to be home... with Bella.

**A/N**

**They are back home, getting into a comfortable routine again.**

**What should Bella do about her house?**

**Thanks for your support and love :) Next update Saturday!**

**Some non-holiday rec's for you**

**The Other Side of the Fence by Edwards Eternal**

**Not What She Seems by Savage7289**

**Departures by TheFicChick**

**Adopted Hearts by JA Mash**

**Washed Away by Emotion Masen**

**Try by shellshock81**

**The Long Road Home by Midnightlove87**


	36. Chapter 36

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Banner by AnaFluttersby**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward**

**Chapter 35**  
**BPOV**

Whatever Maggie said to Edward seems to have helped. He's more himself today than he has been since that horrible night at my house with James.

Just thinking about James and my house freaks me out. I know I need to make a decision about my living situation, etc., but thanks to whatever Maggie said or did, I can put off those decisions for a little longer. He needed help and I'm happy to do it. This is not a man who asks for help, ever. He asks for nothing. Just call me, "Nurse Bella."

The leather sofa in his living room isn't ideal for sleeping, but neither was the cot at the hospital. I've got a safe place to stay. Beggars can't be choosers.

The truth is, I'd like nothing better than to be snuggled up in Edward's bed with him. It felt wrong saying goodnight and leaving him in there alone. I silently wished he would ask me to stay in his room with him. I hope someday we can get back to that place again, but for now, Edward is fragile. I remind myself that with Edward I need to take baby steps.

The dogs are with him. He'll be fine.

I check on Edward one last time, turn off the lights and tv and try to calm my thoughts so I can get some sleep.

I sleep lightly, knowing I'm on call.

Buddy wakes me by licking my hand. "You need to go out, Buddy?" I whisper to him.

Instead of going to the door, he heads back into Edward's room. I follow him.

Edward is asleep on his back, the only position he is comfortable. I watch him for a minute. I kind of got used to doing this, watching him in the hospital while he slept. It's peaceful, calm. It makes me feel, I don't know, protective.

He whimpers, snapping me from my thoughts. He has a deep frown on his face. His head is moving slightly from side to side.

I walk to the side of the bed and run my fingers lightly through his hair, hoping to have a soothing effect on him. He hums, the frown loosening on his face. Just as I'm about to leave he whispers my name. My eyes snap to his, thinking I've woken him, but his eyes are tightly closed. "Bella, stay."

I can't bring myself to leave his side. Whether he wants me here in the morning is something I will deal with in the light of the day. For now, Edward wants me here.

I snuggle into the other side of the bed, careful not to touch him, and quickly drift off to sleep.

"Um, Bella," Edward taps my shoulder.

"Hmmm,"

"Bella, wake up."

"Oh, what? Sorry. Do you need something?" I ask groggily.

"No. When did you come in here?" he asks with caution.

"Sorry if I invaded your space or whatever. Buddy woke me up, because you were having a bad dream, not a full fledge nightmare, but I felt better being close to you," I shrug, slightly embarrassed.

"It's fine," he mumbles as he tries unsuccessfully to roll out of bed. I jump onto my knees and steady him from behind. Once he is sitting on the side of the bed I give him a little push to help him stand. He walks stiffly into the bathroom.

"Let me know if you need anything," I say as the door closes. I plop down wondering if we've just taken a giant step backwards.

I freshen up in the other bathroom, take the dogs out and start coffee and breakfast. It's almost ready when Edward comes into the room.

"Smells good," he says with a weak, hesitant smile.

I pour him some coffee, set it on the table and help him get comfortable in the chair. We eat in relative silence.

"I'm going to try not to take any pain pills today," he says out of the blue.

"You're not in too much pain?"

"I'm sore, but no pain." He pauses shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "Um, I'm going to need some help later taking a shower. I mean, I can shower myself, I just need help with some stuff."

"Of course, just think of me as your nurse. Don't be uncomfortable about it. I'm glad I can help and being here gives me time to think about what I'm going to do with my house."

"How are you feeling about that? The house, ya know?" Edward asks.

"I don't know yet. My flight instincts tell me to never go back there, but I know that isn't rational or logical. At the very least I need to pack up my stuff, or the stuff I don't think he touched." An uncomfortable shiver shoots through me as I say this.

"You don't ever have to go back there if you don't want to, Bella. I plan on paying Paul and Seth through the end of the month. I could ask them to pack your house. You could put it all in storage and stay here until you figure out what you want to do," Edward says hastily.

My eyes shoot to his, in shock from his grand offer. The look on his face is just as shocked as mine.

"Or, whatever," he shrugs, focusing back on his breakfast.

"Um, thanks Edward. That's a great offer. I'll think about it and let you know," I say, not knowing what else to say.

We have a peaceful day together. His family comes to visit, but they don't stay long. Edward naps throughout the day. He's moving slowly, but seems to be comfortable. Although he is still obviously uncomfortable with me helping him change, etc. I wish he would relax. No matter how much I tell him, he doesn't seem to understand that I want to be here for him.

Edward closes his eyes when I'm down on my knees helping him change his pants for bed. His expression looks pained. "Am I hurting you?" I ask as I finish pulling his pants high enough on his legs so he can reach them.

We I finish and stand up, he just shakes his head and waddles to the bathroom. He's in there for a while, so I take the dogs out and shut down the house for the night.

I sit on the side of the bed and wait to see if he needs anything else before I head back out the living room to sleep.

When he finally exits the bathroom his face is flushed, and his brow is furrowed.

"You okay," I ask.

He nods while he gingerly gets settled into bed.

"Edward?" he looks up at me with sad eyes. "I want to be here. I want to help you. Please try to relax and let me take care of you." I plead.

He nods again.

"Goodnight. Just call if you need anything." I say as I turn to leave the bedroom, feeling the sting of being resigned to my place in his life... the couch.

"Bella," he says, just above a whisper.

"Yes," I answer without turning to look at him.

"Um, thanks. For everything. I'm sorry I'm such a horrible patient." he laments.

I turn in his direction, but don't move from the doorway. "You are not a horrible patient. You're not whiney or needy at all. I just wish I didn't make you so uncomfortable. Would you rather have someone else here, besides me?"

"No," he yells, making me jump.

"I mean, no. I want you here." he pauses. "It's just really hard for me to be taken care of like this. It reminds me of when I was recovering after the accident. It just brings back feelings, thoughts. It takes me back to a place I don't want to go."

I walk towards the bed. "Let me know if there is anything I can do for you. If you want to talk or whatever, I'm here. For you. In every way you need me to be."

"I know," he nods. "And it means more to me than you know."

I stand there until the silence becomes uncomfortable. I kiss him on the forehead and run my hand through his hair. I hear him sigh when I stop.

"Good night, Edward."

"Um, you can sleep in here if you want. The couch is hard," he says hesitantly.

"Really? You're sure? I don't want to hurt you in the night."

"You're not a restless sleeper. I think I'm safe," he smiles.

"If you're sure." I say getting in the other side of the bed. It's my turn to sigh. The soft bed is a welcomed surprise.

I turn off the lights and lie down a good distance from Edward.

Within minutes, I hear him clear his throat and take a deep breath. "I was injured pretty badly in the accident. They thought I might lose both my legs. They were almost certain that I wouldn't have full use of them. The recovery was long." He pauses. "Do you have any questions? It won't bother me. Maggie says I should tell you that it's okay to ask."

"I don't want to make this more difficult for you, by making you talk about it."

"It's not easy for me, but it feels surprisingly good to tell someone."

"I'm glad you feel like you can trust me."

"I do."

"What happened to your legs? They look just fine to me." I say with, trying to make that last sentence sound like a compliment, but probably failing miserably.

He chuckles darkly. "Thanks. Um, both of my femurs were broken. I have a rod in both legs now."

"That must have been painful."

"That wasn't the most painful thing." He pauses again. "I had third degree burns on my legs. The fire that started in the front of the car gradually heated up all of the metal in the car. Including the part that had my legs pinned. The burns required more surgeries than my bones."

"Edward, I'm so sorry. That must have been... I don't even know what to say..." My voice drifts off, fearing I'll cry if I say anymore. Instead I seek out his hand and thread my fingers through his.

"I worked hard to regain use of my legs. The rehabilitation took a couple of years. I miraculously have full use and no pain in them. I'm a medical wonder." He says, making a joke.

I laugh, but I'm really crying. No wonder he hates hospitals and needing people to take care of him. I realize now when he has nightmares, that he's back in that car, trapped and being burned alive. My tears fall silently thinking about the wonderful, beautiful, complicated man lying next to me.

**A/N**

**Okay, so there it is. ****What is still holding him back though? More lemony moments coming, lol.**

**I think we're looking at about 10 more chapters to this baby. Next update on Tuesday.**

**Thanks so much for reading and for your support and kind words.**

**There should be two separate teasers, Sunday (twific Zone) and Monday (Fictionators), from the next two chapters.**

**A few more Rec's**

**Caged by Savage7289**

**The Good Luck Club by Lolo84**

**Now and Then by ****troublefollows1013**

**Cupcake Queen by RFM86**

**He Shoots, She Scores by WitchyVampireGirl**


	37. Chapter 37

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Banner by AnaFluttersby**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward**

**Chapter 36**

**EPOV**

When I wake up, I'm sore, and hot but glad to be in my own bed. I smile when my eyes focus on Bella curled up against my side, my hand resting on her hip. It feels so natural.

Anxiety starts creeping into my pores. How will Bella react to what I told her last night? I'm damaged both physically and mentally and now she knows. She knows me, the real me. She knows more about me than anyone besides my parents and the doctors. How will this change how she feels about me?

Bella stirs. Her eyes flutter open. A lazy smile graces her sleep wrinkled face. No look of pity, only a smile and an honest sincerity in her eyes. I can't help but smile back at her. I'm sure there is a look of awe in my eyes. She still cares, but doesn't pity me. How can that be?

"How are you feeling this morning?" Bella asks moving away from me and lazily stretching.

I gently stretch to test my body. "Better, I think."

"What's the plan today? Anyone visiting?" Bella asks.

"I think my parents are coming for dinner, and I've asked Emmett and Jasper to come over this afternoon. You can have the afternoon free to do whatever you want."

"Oh, okay. If you're sure," Bella says quietly.

"Really. Go out, get some fresh air, shop, whatever," I say as I amble to the bathroom.

**~MMB~**

"Thanks for bringing the girls to entertain Bella. She needs to get out of this apartment."

"You know Alice doesn't need to be asked to shop," Jasper offers.

"True."

"What do you want to talk to us about?" Questions Emmett.

"First and foremost, I want the lawsuit gone."

"Okay, do you want to pay Victoria off?" Jasper suggests.

"Not exactly. Why don't I make an offer she can't refuse?" Edward pauses. "Let's create a corporation and offer to buy her property, an offer too good for her to refuse."

"What are you going to do with the land and the building? You don't need an office building."

"Nope, that is where you come in Emmett. I want to build a house, a big house. Can you check and see if the land is zoned for residential use. If so, I want plans drawn up for a huge house. I don't want to have to worry about the shelter being a noise disturbance for anyone again." Edward says turning to Jasper. "In fact, look into buying up all of the land in barking distance."

Jasper shakes his head, "Edward, you are talking about millions of dollars."

"I know. This is important to me. I want to live here. I want to expand the shelter. Just look into it okay? And don't tell Rose or Alice until we have more information."

Emmett and Jasper both nod with concern. We hang out for a couple of hours watching sports on tv, until Bella returns from her outing with Rose and Alice.

**~MMB~**

"Are you tired," Bella asks when she sees me dozing on the couch.

"Ya, we had a lot of visitors today."

"Let's go to bed when I'm done cleaning up from dinner."

We settle in for the night. I like having her in my bed, I sleep better. We can't really snuggle because I still only have one useable arm, but somehow by morning we are as close as we can be without having our arms around each other.

A few minutes after the lights go off Bella speaks. "Can I ask you some questions, about... stuff? You don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"Ya, that's fine," I try to sound unfazed. "Ask away." I say while I'm actually freaking out inside.

"When you have nightmares, are they about the accident?" She asks hesitantly.

"Yes, mostly. Sometimes they are about the recovery, or my biological family abandoning me, but most of the time it's the accident."

"Is that why you talk with Maggie?"

"I've been diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder and Survivors Guilt. I'm trying to work through it. It's controlled my life up until now. I'm more motivated now than ever to get past it. I know it will always be there. I can't unfeel it, unlive it. But hopefully, I can prevent it from having so much control over me."

"How do you think it controls you?"

"Um, my choices." How do I explain this to her and not sound completely pathetic?

"What do you mean?"

"I guess, it would mostly be my decision to not have a relationship. I think I'm not as trusting of people as I could be."

"Have you always pictured yourself single?"

"Until recently, I never thought I would consider a relationship with anyone, but now I'm not so sure."

"What has changed?"

"I guess my...re... friendship with you, having you here with me, feeling so protective of you, has shaken my former beliefs a little bit."

"You've done that for me, too," she says barely above a whisper.

"How so?" I ask, very interested in what she has to say.

"Um, I kind of thought all guys were dogs. You know, selfish, uncaring. But then I met you and your family. There is so much love here. Your parents love and support each other. And you, you have busted all my conceptions about men. You are the most caring, selfless person I've ever met. When I'm with you I almost believe in love, true love."

"Almost?"

"Yeah, well. You're not perfect," she says, I can hear the smile in her voice.

"Truer words have never been spoken," I respond. I think carefully before I speak again. "You make me want to be better. Want to be whole, unbroken. You are the first person I've opened up to about this since I first started seeing Maggie. Alice doesn't even know half of what I've told you. You've become a very important part of my life."

"I feel the same way. I'm happy I'm that person for you. The person you feel you can trust. Your trust in me breaks down my cynical walls brick by brick." She says rising up onto her elbow. She leans in to kiss me on the cheek, "Thank you, Edward, for letting me in."

My good arm reaches out and my fingers brush her cheek and weave into her hair, pulling her closer. A kiss on the cheek is not enough.

**A/N**

**So, who do you think is going to tell the other person how they feel first?**

**To answer a few questions: **

**Bella's job as a travel writer is flexible. She recently came back from a work trip and now her work can be done by computer, in her own time. Being displaced from her house has interrupted her normal routine. **

**Next update on Saturday. I wrote three more chapters over the weekend! If I don't respond to reviews, it's because I'm writing :)**

**Thanks so much for your on-going support!**


	38. Chapter 38

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Banner by AnaFluttersby**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward**

**An early update, because you're awesome!**

**37**

**BPOV**

I try not to wake Edward as I gently turn so I can watch him sleep. The morning sun filtering in the window shines on his face. He looks so relaxed, it makes him look so young and carefree. I wish that was the reality, his reality, but it's not. This man has been through more in his life than anyone should endure. Yet he still gives, he still loves, he still lives.

He stirs and I hold my breath, willing him a few more moments of peace. His eyes are still closed; he appears to still be sleeping. As I'm focused on his face, out of the corner of my eye I see his hand move. I glance down to where his hand ventures and I stifle a gasp.

His hand is lazily stroking his very large morning wood through the sheet that is tented over it. I watch. I squeeze my legs together to ease the ache that is spreading from my core.

I'm mesmerized watching him. When I hear him sigh my eyes shoot to his face, thinking I've been caught gawking. Instead I see that his eyes are still closed and he has a very satisfied looking smile on his face. I can't stifle the giggle that escapes my mouth. Damn.

His hand stops mid stroke, but doesn't move it away. He peeks out of the corner of his eye at me, a blush creeping up his cheeks.

"Oops, sorry," he says huskily.

"No need to apologize. It was very... entertaining." I tease. "I do have a question. Why the big smile? I mean besides the obvious."

"Obvious?"

"Ya know, besides it feeling good," I coax.

His blush deepens. "It's a guy thing. You wouldn't understand." I notice he still hasn't removed his hand.

"I think I've earned an answer since you subjected me to a little show," I tease.

He rolls his eyes. "Hm, It's very important to a guy that everything... works."

"Things appear to be working," I say wagging my brows.

He rolls his eyes again but continues. "They are now. I was concerned. Nothing has... moved since I got injured. I guess it was all of the medication I was on. I'm just relieved."

I help him get to a sitting position on the side of the bed and give him a boost to stand.

"Now, go make sure it works thoroughly," I tease as he ambles into the bathroom to take a shower.

I can see his head shaking and he's mumbling something as he closes the door. I giggle again.

I freshen up in the other bathroom, take the dogs out and start breakfast. I get coffee for both of us and I go to tell him that breakfast is almost ready.

"Edward. Breakfast is almost ready. Here's some coffee," I say knocking on the bathroom door. "Do you need my help?"

I hear a choking sound coming from the other side of the door and I quickly open it.

I find him standing in only a towel looking damp, abs visible, looking very hot and very hard. His expression is that of shock and embarrassment.

"Sorry, I thought something was wrong," I stammer. "Here's your coffee." I set the mug on the sink and quickly close the door.

Well, it's obvious that his shower wasn't satisfying.

I sit on the edge of the bed and wait. And wait.

Finally, the door creaks open and he pokes his head out. I give him an encouraging smile.

"Can you help me with my pants?" He asks timidly.

"Of course. Remember…Nurse Bella?" I say indicating to myself.

I kneel down in front of him and get his feet in his sleep pants. I pull them up to his mid-thigh. I may have touched his legs a little more than usual as I moved up his leg. I think he notices because I hear a strangled groan.

While still kneeling I look up and come face to peen with what can only be called a massive erection. I nearly stumble back to avoid getting my eye poked. His hands are clenched in fists and his eyes are squinted closed like he's in pain. Poor guy.

Shit, what do I do? I know what I want to do, but I might scare him off if I remove the towel and wrap my lips around him. Yes, that would be too much.

Instead I stand and start straightening up the room. "Um, why don't you rest and I'll bring you breakfast in a little while."

When I turn around he's in sitting up in bed with a pillow covering his lap. His eyes closed, like he's afraid to look at me.

"Edward. Is everything okay?" I motion towards his... boner.

"Ya, fine." He says without opening his eyes.

"I thought you would... um... feel better after your shower. Is everything working okay?" I ask with honest concern. Shit, is this one of those 'if you have an erection that lasts longer than four hours' moments?

"It's fine. The cold water didn't help."

"Why didn't you just, umm... take care of it?"

"God, this is so embarrassing. I can't believe we are having this conversation," he laughs wryly. "I couldn't do anything, unless you want me to hurt myself. One hand works, remember?" He says waving the only hand he can move from his side.

"Oh, didn't think of that," I mumble. Then I have an idea. I go in the bathroom, grab the bottle of lotion and a washcloth.

"Here," I say setting them on the nightstand. "I'll give you some time." He looks from me to the items on the nightstand and back to me and starts laughing.

"What?"

"This has got to be the most ridiculous situation ever," he laughs grabbing his injured side.

"Okay, big boy. I'll leave you to it," I say with a wink. I turn and grab his towel off of the floor.

"Not helping," he groans. I look over my shoulder and see him looking at my ass. I wiggle it a bit as I leave the room. "Have fun!" I say as I close the door.

I slump against the door. How I would love to be that lotion right about now. I fight with myself about going back in and helping him or standing here and listening. Instead I busy myself in the kitchen, far out of range of any noises that may come from the bedroom. My mind is on him. What he's doing, what he's thinking about when he touches himself. I'm horny and wet and really frustrated.

Twenty minutes pass and he hasn't emerged from the room. I listen outside the door and hear nothing. I knock softly... nothing.

I open the door slowly. His good arm is slung over his eyes, the pillow still covers his crotch and the items on the nightstand appear to be untouched.

"Edward, are you okay?" I walk slowly towards the bed and sit down on the side.

"This is beyond embarrassing, Bella."

"Hey, you shouldn't be embarrassed around me. I care about you," I rub his arm gently." I want you to get better. I want you to feel good." I slowly remove the pillow from his lap.

He's still hard, straining against the fabric of his sleep pants, a wet spot of precum near the tip. I watch his reaction as I cautiously reach my hand out and circle the wet spot lightly. He hisses and bucks against my hand, but he doesn't ask me to stop. I then take one finger and trace from base to tip and back again.

He is breathing rapidly, not taking his eyes off of my hand on him. As well as I can through the fabric, I grasp him and slowly move up his shaft. He bucks again and winces from pain.

I release him and straddle his thighs. "If you keep moving I'm going to stop," I warn in my sexiest voice.

He shakes his head vigorously, "Don't stop," he says barely above a whisper.

My inner goddess fist pumps because I just got the okay to touch him.

"Do you trust me?" I ask.

He nods.

"Close your eyes. Don't move."

I unbutton the button on the front flap of his pants and free his engorged, leaking cock. I stop to admire it. It's perfect. Large, but not too large, straight, the skin stretched so tightly it looks like steel.

I carefully lean over his torso and kiss his waiting lips. He responds with a kiss full of passion and tension. We're both so worked up I know this won't take long.

We finally slow our kisses and I sit back on his legs. He watches me; the look on his face is that of awe and lust.

"What are you going to do to me?" He asks.

"I'm going to make you feel good," I smile.

I start stroking him slowly with a very light touch. He watches, like he's seeing this for the first time.

I want to stroke harder, but I need lubrication. He's watching me intently. I slowly slide both of my hands down the front of my shorts and gather some of the moisture there. My hands come out wet and glistening.

"What? Are you? Oh, shit," he stumbles over his words when I rub my natural lubrication on him and start stroking again.

"Do you see how wet it makes me seeing you like this? Do you know how difficult it was for me to walk away before? I've been wanting to touch you all morning. I want to make you feel good."

My strokes are slow, but get firmer with each pass of my hands. He's panting, his eyes never leaving my hands on him.

"Do it again," he asks breathlessly.

I slide my hands down my pants again. This time I spend more time gathering the wetness, giving him a bit of a show.

When I remove my hands this time, he slides his hand in the side of my shorts. I gasp at the unexpected feeling of pleasure that shoots through my body at his touch.

"You don't have to," I start.

"I want to. I need to touch you." His eyes pleading with me.

I guess that's settled. Mutual pleasure. I'm not complaining.

Using both hands I resume touching him.

"Oh, god, that feels... amazing..."

His eyes roll back and flutter closed.

His thumb is now under my panties working in and up and down motion from my leaking slit to my clit and down again. The man has magic fingers.

I resist the urge to grind on his hand, it's not easy.

His thumb matched my hands stroke for stroke.

"Oh, Bella. Don't stop. Please don't stop." He pants. "I'm, I'm gonna... ohhhhhh. Don't stop. Close." Who knew Edward was a talker?

Between watching him enjoy himself and his magic thumb I'm about to cum too.

"Cuming." He explodes in my hand with a groan of pleasure, his thumb pressing firmly into my clit as he tenses and rides out his orgasm. It sends me over and I'm shuttering in pleasure, a quiet moan escaping my lips.

The only sounds in the room are our labored breathing. My giggle breaks the silence.

"I don't think you're supposed to laugh at a time like this," he deadpans.

I shake my head and look at him with a giant smile on my face. His smile matches mine.

I grab the washcloth and attempt to clean up my hands.

"I'll be right back," I say hopping off the bed.

I rinse my hands and dampen the washcloth with warm water and return to the bedroom. I clean him up carefully. Once again, his eyes intent on what I'm doing.

"That was... incredible. I didn't know it could be like that," he says with awe.

I cock my head. "Like what?"

He blushes. "That was, my senses were overloaded. Your smell, your body, ughh, your hands. It was more than I've ever felt."

"My pleasure." I smile.

"Trust me. It was definitely my pleasure." He smiles back.

"If you liked that, just wait until I use my mouth," I say without thinking. Because of course I've been thinking about that.

"You'd do that?"

"I'd like to, but..." I shrug, feeling a little insecure for taking this maybe one step too far.

He releases a pained moan and throws his good arm over his eyes.

I look down and he's hard again. I giggle. "Have I created a monster?"

"You have no idea."

I tuck him back into his sleep pants and button them up and give him a chaste kiss on the lips.

"Not helping," he mumbles causing me to giggle again.

"Do you want breakfast in bed?" I ask, more relaxed and satisfied than I've felt in a while.

**A/N**

**Thank you! Thank you! Thank you! I won Best Breakthrough Author in the Fandom Choice Awards, thanks to you guys! **

**You really make writing much more fun and rewarding :)**

**A little bit of citrus for you...**

**Glad to see things are working properly? I know I am.**

**Next update on Monday!**

**Thanks again and I promise to answer reviews for this chapter and write this weekend.**


	39. Chapter 39

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Banner by AnaFluttersby**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward**

**or as someone called him "Adorably Virginal"**

**38 EPOV**

Best sexual experience...ever!

Seeing my cock in her small hands. Seeing how wet she was. Feeling how wet she was and then the mind blowing orgasm at the hands of someone else. A first, I never realized how much more enjoyable it is when you can sit back and savor it.

The beast has been unleashed though. Constant chubby, constant thoughts of her, of us, of what we did and 'could' do. Things I never thought I'd be doing...ever, but now seem possible.

We've become more affectionate with each other. Hugging, touching, holding hands, and kissing. Nothing too heavy since the 'epic hand job' as I'm calling it. Just sweet moments.

I saw my doctor today and I've been allowed to move my other arm, slowly. I am now staple and stitch free. Everything is healing well. My breathing becomes easier each day. When I finish this round of meds, I'm done.

Tomorrow I see Dr. Cope for the first time since she visited me in the hospital. I don't know what I would have done if it wasn't for her. I hope she has some more words of wisdom for me. I need them.

When Jasper and Emmett show up in the evening, I send Bella out to get pizza for us. She looks at me weird because the place delivers, but she doesn't question it.

"Thanks for waiting until she was gone to say anything about this. So?"

"There are just a few papers we would need to file to meet the residential zoning requirements." Jasper starts. "The corporation is set up and ready. I wanted you to see the amount you are offering Victoria."

He slides a written offer in front of me. The words are gibberish to me, but numbers are universal. I nod. It's about what I expected.

I slid it back to him. "What about the other properties around here?"

"I think you are good. If this offer is accepted then you and I can walk the perimeter of your property and see if we need to expand from there. It will be a huge lot once that building is gone." He motions towards Victoria's commercial building.

I nod again. "Do it. The sooner the better. Emmett, what about you?"

"I've contacted an architect friend of mine. Here's his card. He wants you to call with specifics. How many rooms? Stuff like that."

"Good. Thanks. I really appreciate your help with this." I barely finish my sentence when the front door opens and in walks Bella, food in hand.

**~MMB~**

"You look good Edward. So much better than the last time I saw you," Dr. Cope says giving me a tentative hug.

"I am good."

"Tell me what's been going on."

"I took your advice and asked Bella to help me when I came home from the hospital. It was a difficult adjustment at first. I hate needing to be taken care of."

She nods in understanding as she takes notes.

"You were right. This is helping her too. It's also helping us. I think we're getting back to where we were before in our, um, relationship."

She looks up from her notes and raises a brow in question.

"I know," I shake my head and smile. "I can't believe I said it either. But I guess that is what we have. I mean we haven't defined it, but ya..." I drift off.

"Have you told her everything?"

"I think so. She knows about the accident, my injuries, and my diagnosis. She's witnessed the nightmares first hand. I think that about covers it."

"Has she had any questions for you?"

"A few. Nothing I couldn't answer. I mean it's still hard to talk about, but for some reason telling Bella is easier than I thought it would be." I smile.

"What's the next step?"

"For what?" I ask confused.

"For you, for you and Bella, and for your recovery."

"Um, I guess I haven't wanted to think about that."

"Well, you should, and discuss it with her. Miscommunication has been the biggest problem in your relationship with her. The more open and honest you can be with each other, the smoother things will be. Besides, her life is nowhere near settled is it?"

"I guess not," I shrug trying to ignore the feeling in the pit of my stomach. I don't like thinking about how Bella won't be staying with me forever.

"I suggest you help her with whatever she wants to do about her house."

"Good idea. I'm stronger now. I might actually be of some help."

"I think your emotional support is what she needs. No regrets Edward. Whatever you two decide make sure you have no regrets," she says taking a serious tone.

"Okay, times up," she says more upbeat. "Same time next week?"

"Yes, that would be great. Thanks again Maggie." I say as I exit the office. I can't wait to get home to Bella and the dogs too.

**~MMB~**

"What are you concentrating so hard on?" I ask her as she stares intently at the computer screen.

"I'm house hunting." She answers distractedly. Her words feel like a punch in the gut.

"Um, what are you thinking?"

"Getting rid of most of my stuff, selling my house, and buying a new one."

"Where?" I ask holding my breath while waiting for her answer.

"I don't know yet. I can go anywhere with my job."

I come up behind her chair and start rubbing her neck and shoulders. "Why don't I help you clean out your house and stuff. There's no rush to sell and buy. You can stay here as long as you want. We could turn the spare room into your room, you know bring your stuff here," I offer. Hating the idea of her sleeping in the other room, but hating the thought of her moving even more.

"You'd do that for me?"

"Bella, I'd do anything for you. I mean. I'll help you in any way I can."

She nods. "That's very thoughtful of you. You are always thinking about other people. What about what you want? I'm sure a long term roommate is not what you had in mind."

I spin the desk chair so she is facing me. "I've enjoyed having you here. My apartment has never felt so alive, as it does with you and Buddy here. I'm a simple guy. I don't need much. But ...I would miss you if you weren't here," I say, letting my voice drift off. I can feel my face heating up from embarrassment.

She stands and wraps her arms gently around my middle, giving me a hug.

"No one has ever been this good to me in my whole life. You know that? You, Edward Cullen, are an amazing man." She professes, making me grin like a fool.

I kiss the top of her head and return her hug. "Ditto, Bella Swan, ditto."

**~MMB~**

We snuggle into bed each night, enveloped in each other. I like having both hands touching her now.

"Um, were you one of the benefactors at the Gala we attended on the fourth of July?" She asks after the lights go out.

"You caught that, huh?" I laugh wryly. "I wasn't very smooth when I left the table. I was so busy watching and listening to you that I didn't notice my mom go to the podium. To answer your question, yes. I have donated money to the pediatric and burn wards."

"For you to be acknowledged like that, it must have been a large sum of money." She says tentatively.

I nod. "I received a very large inheritance from my birth parents when I turned twenty-one. I'd like to think I've put their money to good use. That money helped me start this rescue as well."

"That's very generous of you." She clears her throat. "Didn't you have any other family when your parents died?"

I take a deep breath. This is a very sensitive subject.

She senses my hesitation. "I'm sorry. That was too personal. Pretend I didn't ask."

"No, I just need a second." I pause. "I have an aunt and uncle and cousins in England. They were listed as my guardians at the time of my parents' death. My parents were very organized and had everything in writing. They were very thorough and made decisions about the money too. It couldn't be touched until I was an adult. In the beginning between surgeries and hospital visits I'd stay with them. I wasn't easy to care for. I was pretty much bedridden and not very pleasant to be around. They tried to contest the will, to get some money for themselves. One day while I was recovering from a grueling skin graft, my aunt and uncle visited me at the hospital. When they entered the room with a few boxes I knew something was wrong. They told me that without my parents' money they couldn't care for me. They left and never looked back," I finish, a tear dripping down my nose and into Bella's hair.

Bella sniffs. "That is horrible. They don't deserve you or any money. How could they do that? You were a little boy," she cries as I comfort her, comforting me.

"It's okay," I say. "Look at my life now. My Mom and Dad are wonderful people, whom I never would have met if my aunt and uncle had kept me. I think I got the best deal. Don't you?"

"They are wonderful. I'm so happy you found each other." She sniffs again. "How long after that did you come to America?"

"I was in the system in London for about six months, I think. I was in and out of the hospital. It's hard to remember. I do remember the day I met Esme, like it was yesterday. She would visit the pediatric ward while my dad was at his conference during the day. She would read, play games, sing, whatever the kids wanted. I was napping and I woke up and there she was. I thought she was an angel. Her face and her smile were so angelic and pure. She touched my hand and I didn't flinch. I hated being touched, because they were always poking and pulling at me, and hurting me. Her touch was soothing. I think I smiled back at her which I hadn't done for a long time. I asked her if she was an angel." The memory makes me smile.

"What did she say?"

"She said that she wasn't an angel, but that I was, which I found very confusing. We talked for a while, she held my hand the whole time, or stroked my hair. It was nice. I remember her saying to be good and that she would see me again very soon. I was sad when she left. People always said stuff like that and didn't mean it, but somewhere deep inside me I believed her."

"When did you see her again?"

"I was eating my dinner later that day and she poked her head in and asked if she could come in. She introduced me to Carlisle and they sat with me until I fell asleep. They did that for the next few days until his conference was over and they had to go back home. I remember them crying when they had to leave and promising me they'd be back."

"What happened then?"

"She came back the next week, but not with Carlisle. This time she had Alice. She scared me. She was very excitable and fast. She was only like two or three, but she could move and get into things in a second," I laugh. "Carlisle joined her the next week, and they asked me if I wanted to be their little boy, which meant Alice's brother so I had to think about that." Bella and I both laugh. "As soon as the paperwork was done I was off to the U.S."

"Wow."

"I don't think I would have recovered like I did without them and the medical attention I got here. It helps being the son of a prominent doctor."

"Their loss is my gain," Bella says sleepily, snuggling closer into me. We both drift off to sleep.

**A/N**

**The truth... I didn't get home until 1 am from the Golden Globes. I didn't thoroughly read this over to make sure nothing got lost in the cut/paste process. Sorry if I missed anything.**

**What do you think of Edward meeting Esme? Carlisle? Alice? PS. I took some creative license with the adoption process in the UK.**

**Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. I love it!**

**Next update on Friday, super busy week!**


	40. Chapter 40

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Banner by AnaFluttersby**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward**

**or as someone called him "Adorably Virginal"**

**Chapter 39**

**BPOV**

It's time to make decisions, decisions about my future, my belongings, my house, my living situation.

I've avoided thinking about all of this while Edward needed me, but he's stronger now. And reality is hitting me hard and it's freaking me out a bit.

I don't want to leave here. Leave him. But life goes on and so should I. I think I need to talk to someone.

"Edward, would you mind if I started seeing Dr. Cope too?" I say over breakfast.

"No, not at all."

"Maybe I could schedule an appointment before or after your next one?"

"Sure, that's a great idea. We could go to lunch or something after."

I nod and go back to eating, too many thoughts cloud my brain.

**~MEB~**

"Bella, so good to see you again," Dr. Cope says giving me a quick hug. "What's on your mind?" She asks getting right to the point.

"Um, it's time for me to make some decisions about my living situation and stuff, and I'm... I don't want things to change." I say embarrassed.

"It's perfectly natural to be hesitant about change and the future. You've been through quite an ordeal. From what I've seen you seem to be dealing with it all very well."

"I know. I just… I like being with Edward. It's the most comfortable I've been. The safest I've ever felt. I know that's no reason to stay, but it just feels so good. I'm afraid the decisions I make are going to change my 'friendship' with Edward." She raises a brow at me.

"Friendship. Is that what you two are to each other?" She pries.

I shake my head. "I don't know. We went into this knowing that neither of us wanted a 'relationship'. I don't know if that has changed. It's just hard. I don't want to read into this anymore than he is. I'd like to think we are equally invested, but I can't tell."

"Just do what feels right, say what feels right. Whatever happens, be open and honest. If you want more from him, tell him. Don't let anything pass you by."

I know she talks to Edward, but I try not to read anything into what she says. Bottom line, I need to put myself out there or just forget about it and continue my life as it was before Edward. The thought makes me so unhappy

**~MEB~**

"You're very quiet today. Did it go okay with Dr. Cope?" Edward asks during dinner that night.

"Yeah, it was fine." I pause and take a deep breath. "Edward. I need to make some decisions about what I'm going to do with the house. Where I'm going to live, etc."

"I have Seth and Paul for one more week. Why don't we get a truck and go over there tomorrow and sort through things." He offers.

I shake my head. "That's too much to ask of you, of them."

"You didn't ask, I offered. What time tomorrow?" He says with conviction.

"Um, ten?" I question.

"Ten it is." He takes out his cell and texts someone, I assume it's Seth and Paul. His phone pings twice. "We're all set. Seth is going to get the truck and he and Paul will meet us there."

"Just like that?" I ask.

"Just like that." He smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes. My tight smile mirrors his.

**~MEB~**

"You okay?" Edward asks as we near my house.

I nod. Inwardly I'm freaking out. That psycho was in my house for days, going through my stuff. How can I keep any of it? But there are some things I just can't part with.

We pull into the driveway. He puts his hand over mine and gives it a quick squeeze. Seth and Paul are standing out front waiting for us.

Edward gets out of the car and greets them. I don't move. I can't.

Visions of James, how wretched he smelled, the knife, Edward, on the bedroom floor bleeding.

Suddenly my car door opens making me jump. Edward kneels down to my level.

"Bella, Seth, Paul and I are here with you. You aren't alone in this. You can do this. We can do this." He grabs my hands and helps me out of the car.

"Um, I'm not going in there first and neither are you," I say in a panic turning toward Edward. He pulls me into a hug, and tells Seth and Paul to check the yard, garage and house thoroughly while we wait.

I try to relax and let his scent, his strength, his body envelop me. I start to feel a sense of calm come over me.

"Bella?" I hear coming from behind Edward. I reluctantly peek around him and I'm unfortunately met with the remorseful eyes of Jacob.

"What do you want?" I ask sharply stepping to the side of Edward. He keeps his hand on my waist possessively.

"I haven't seen you for a while. You look good." He says looking up and down my body. Edward tightens his arm, effectively pulling me closer to his side. Jacob notices and frowns.

"Thanks, Jake. I'm good. We're good." I say glancing at Edward. "Thanks for asking," I can't help but refer to how rude and horrible he was when he came to the hospital.

He's taken back a bit. "Um, ya, good to hear that." He nods at Edward.

Edward nods back. They seem to be in some sort of stare down.

I put my arms around Edward's waist and turn my body into his. "Should we get started?" I ask him sweetly.

Edward breaks the stare to look at me. His gaze softens, "Sure."

"Excuse us Jacob, I have some packing to do." We turn to walk into the house.

"Where are you going?" Jacob asks.

"Anywhere but here," I yell over my shoulder, ending our conversation.

I smile to myself. Edward's arm still around me. I feel him kiss my head.

Maybe my chapter with Jake is finally closed.

**~MEB~**

"Are you sure this is all you want?" Edward asks with concern.

"Yep," I nod. Everything else is just... stuff.

Edward shakes his head while looking at my few pieces of furniture, a box of books, a box of photos, a box of documents, a few family heirlooms and some clothing and jewelry.

"It's just stuff, Edward. I'm walking away from this house with everything I want," I shrug.

He looks at me questioningly, but doesn't push me to explain.

Over the next few days I meet with a realtor and put my house on the market. She gives me the name of a person who does Estate Sales and we arrange a date for that.

I move what little belongings I have into Edward's guest room, but we continue to sleep together in his bed. It's comfortable. We're comfortable.

A few days later Edward and I have another appointment with Maggie.

As usual she greets me warmly with a motherly hug that immediately puts me at ease.

"How are things going, Bella?"

"Good. We went through my house and it's up for sale," I say excitedly.

"You sound happy about this."

"I am. I'm glad to have that terrible experience with James behind me. I mean I think about it sometimes, but I won't ever have to sleep in that room, again. That alone is a huge relief."

"Do you feel safe otherwise? Alone in the apartment, shopping, just living your life?"

I think for a minute. "Yes, I mean I'm not always looking over my shoulder if that's what you mean. It was horrible, don't get me wrong, but I know he's gone. I've accepted that."

"Good. It sounds like you're ready to move on."

"About that," I say slowly. "Um, I want to help Edward move on and I got this idea when I was cleaning out my house. I want to know what you think."

"Of course, Bella. I care about Edward too, but as you know I can't discuss anything specific about him."

"I know, but I think I might have a way that he can look at himself differently. Or at least look at that little boy who was trapped in that car with empathy and compassion. The only problem is that it means I have to leave and go back home to Seattle for a few days to get a few things."

"Okay. Let me hear what you're thinking," Maggie says, her pen poised to take notes as I begin to lay out my plans.

When I'm done explaining everything, Maggie looks deep in thought.

"What do you think?" I ask hesitantly.

"Well, I don't think it will hurt. He cares about you very much. That will work in your favor. I don't see any reason why you shouldn't try it. Just don't get your hopes up too much. He could easily shut down and not be open to what you are doing and saying to him."

I nod. "I know, but I feel like I have to do something. He's come so far and I feel like he's stuck right now. Like his progress is halted. If I can help guide him in the right direction I want to try."

"I don't see a reason not to do it, Bella. Edward is lucky to have someone who cares for him so deeply."

"I do. I can't imagine…I don't want to imagine my life without him. I just want him to believe how good and pure and wonderful he is, because he is, Maggie. He's got the kindest most selfless heart." I say my voice getting thick with emotion.

"Do you love him, Bella?" She asks.

"Yes, I do, but more importantly I'm his friend. I'm someone he can count on and trust. No matter what, I never want that to change."

"Good. Do what you need to do. Let me know when you plan to do this so I can be available if either of you needs to talk to me."

"Thanks, Maggie. I wouldn't have the guts to try this without your input," I say giving her a hug.

Now the hard part is going to be telling Edward I'm going to my dad's, without him.

**A/N**

**Any theories on what Bella has planned?**

**Do you think Jake is gone for good?**

**Yes, I went to the Golden Globes. I was in the bleachers on the red carpet. I got some good photos. And yes, some of them were of Rob!**

**Thanks so much for your ongoing words of encouragement. I must write this weekend. Only three more prewritten chapters left :/**


	41. Chapter 41

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Banner by AnaFluttersby**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward**

**or as someone called him "Adorably Virginal"**

**Chapter 40**

**EPOV**

Bella and I go to see Maggie, together, but separately. I like having her with me, whenever, wherever I can.

She's quieter than usual following her appointment. I know how that can be. Sometimes you just need time to process things. I don't pressure her to talk about it, either. I know how that feels too.

She's also a bit more clingy. Like she's soaking in every minute we have together. I really try not to read too much into it, but it's not easy.

Along with clinginess comes affection. I can never get enough of that from Bella, with Bella. I could crawl inside her body and I'd probably still want more. I groan at the thought, because being in her body has been on my mind a lot lately.

We're watching a movie, sitting on the sofa one minute, and the next I hear moaning. I rouse enough to realize I'm still on the sofa, with my back to the back of the sofa and I'm spooning Bella. The movie we were watching on Cinemax is over and now a porno is on the flat screen.

I immediately search for the remote and I can see it on the floor, but I'm not able to reach it without climbing over Bella. I guess I'll have to watch a bit and hope she wakes up soon. But do I want her to catch me watching porn? I mean I have a good excuse; I can't reach the remote, right?

I don't watch much porn, because they are always doing things I've never done and will never do. I prefer to look at beautiful women in photos, but I have to say this is very... arousing.

I'm watching a somewhat attractive woman pleasuring a man with her mouth. He seems to be enjoying himself. His hands are in her hair and he's thrusting into her. She doesn't seem to mind, but it seems a bit forceful? Uncomfortable for her?

I can't help it, I get hard. Bella's body is pressed up to mine and my arm is around her so she doesn't fall off of the sofa.

I shift away from her slightly to avoid an all-out assault of her backside. Her butt wiggles up against me in response. That's when I notice her eyes are open and she's watching the porn too.

"Sorry, this was on when I woke up. It must have been the next movie on the channel. Can you reach the remote?" I ask slightly embarrassed.

"You don't want to watch it?"

"Um, I guess. Why, do you?"

"I'd like to see how it ends," she laughs.

"I think we know how it ends," I smirk.

She doesn't move to get the remote, so we continue watching. My very hard cock wedged up against her wiggling ass.

"Do you like watching that," she asks after the big climax.

"Um, I mean ya sure, why not. He seemed to enjoy it." I shrug and try to act like it's no big deal, but the truth is I'm very excited right now.

She turns in my arms so we're face to face. She throws her leg over my hip, effectively pulling my pelvis flush with hers. I hiss at the sudden contact.

"I think you liked watching them," she says kissing my neck. "Did you like what she was doing to him?" She finds my lips, kissing me deeply. My hands instinctively pull her closer to me. I don't answer her; my straining cock is all the evidence she needs.

Her hands find their way under my t-shirt and push it up and over my head. Her small hands circle my chest and abs, her mouth following the path.

"I've wanted to lick and kiss these abs since that first day at the beach," she rasps out against my skin.

"Really? I thought you hated me."

"I did, but I didn't hate your abs," she giggles. She's kissing lower on my stomach, although it tickles, this is getting serious. What is she going to do? I'm trying not to freak out and just enjoy, but I'm not ready for her to see me, see my scars.

Her hands reach the zipper on my pants and she glances to me for permission. I must look scared.

"I wanna try something," she says seductively. It's so difficult to say no to her and those big brown eyes.

"Hand me the remote," I grunt as her hand dips below the waistband and grazes the tip of my cock.

There's a different couple going at it on the tv, but I could care less. I just need the room dark and I need to just feel.

By the time she gets my zipper down, the room is black, except for the moonlight coming in through the window. It's just enough for me to see the silhouette of her and what she's doing, without much detail.

My cock springs free from my pants and hits my stomach.

She kneels on the floor in front of the sofa. "Sit up," she requests. "Lean back."

I'm completely at her mercy and couldn't be happier about it. She strokes me slowly. "Stay very still."

When her tongue touches the tip of my cock I jump.

"Is this okay?" she asks with concern.

"Um, ya, it's just I've never, nobody's ever," I fumble over my words.

"I want to. I want to taste you. Suck you," she says looking for permission.

I nod. I want this more than anything, I'm just nervous. But it's Bella, I trust her completely. So I take a deep breath and relax into the back of the sofa.

The relaxing lasts about a second because once her mouth is on me; I'm tense, tense with need.

"Oh, god. So warm, so wet," I mumble as her mouth takes more of me in.

She hums in response, sending shivers down my spine. At this rate I'm not going to last very long.

She slowly takes me deeper each time she goes down.

"That feels so good," I pant out.

Without warning, her mouth latches on to me like a warm, tight, yet soft vice.

"Oh, shit." I gasp, making her hmmm again.

I almost lose it. My hands reach for her shoulders. I want her to stop, slow down. I don't want it to be over so fast. At the same time I don't want her to stop, ever.

"Bella, your mouth."

Her slow strokes gradually become faster. I'm panting, resisting the urge to thrust into her mouth, savoring the feel of her mouth on me.

I feel my balls tightening, that familiar coiling in my stomach. I'm lost in the feelings.

"Close. Watch out." I warn her reaching for her head, wanting to give her time to get out of the way, 'cause I'm gonna blow.

Instead of moving she increases her efforts. She takes me deeper, sucks me harder and moves faster. Lost in the pleasure. All I can do is say her name like a prayer as I cum down her throat.

"Belllllaa."

When I'm coherent again I pull her up off the floor and have her straddle my lap. My half hard cock settles between us. I can feel the heat coming off of her. My cock twitches just from being in the vicinity.

I grab her face and kiss the shit out of her. I think I can taste myself, but I don't care. That was incredible. I never thought I would ever experience that. Someone doing that to me, and the fact that it's Bella makes it so much more, special, important.

"Thank you," I chant between kisses, causing her to giggle.

"Glad you liked it."

"Liked it! That was..." I just shake my head.

I'm unable to come up with the right words, so I kiss her again. But this time my hands start to roam over her body. It's her turn to feel good.

"Your turn," I say lifting her tank top above her perky breasts.

"Umm," she hums, removing her shirt and throwing it across the room.

I give attention to each tit equally using my hands and mouth. Before long she is grinding over my once again hard cock.

"I want to taste you," I mumble between her breasts. "Let's take this into the bedroom."

I sit on the end of the bed and pull her so she's standing between my legs. The light from the lamp on the nightstand is just enough to see all of her. I take a few seconds to admire her.

"You're so beautiful," I whisper against the skin on her flat stomach as I place wet kisses anywhere I can reach.

"These need to come off," I say tugging at her shorts.

She slips her hands under the waistband and lowers them slowly, her panties going with them.

I'm in awe of her beauty. She perfect. Not too skinny, not too round, firm, yet soft. Her fair skin shining in the light.

I place my hands on her hips and pull her closer. "You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Inside and out."

My hands find their way to her round ass. It fits perfectly in my hands. My hands don't stop there, one heads back up to her taut nipples and the other goes down to the apex of her thighs. She's wet and hot and needy.

I lift her leg onto the bed to gain better access. Her bare pussy is pink and swollen and glistening. It begs for attention, just like my now straining cock. But it had its turn. This is all her.

My hand moves lightly over her center, even my slightest touch has her searching for much needed friction.

I want to taste her so I pull her closer and flatten my tongue across her swollen flesh. My eyes close as I savor her scent and flavor, sweet and sour, and Bella.

She keens at the contact. "If you're going to do that you may need to hold me up," she warns.

"We can't have you falling down," I say moving her to sit down next to me. I lay her down and hover above her. Her face is flushed, her lips swollen. I kiss her again and trail down to her center where I really want to be.

Holding her thighs apart I start exploring with my tongue and lips. I've never done this to anyone before so I take my cues from her. If she likes something I do it again, if not I try something else. I do this until she is writhing, begging me not to stop as I suck gently on her clit and pump my fingers in and out of her. She shatters moaning my name. I wipe my face and smile up at her. She lazily smiles back. She looks sated and happy. That's all I want for her.

**A/N**

**Looks like oral gratification was on the schedule before telling him she's leaving.**

**Why do you think she's more clingy with him?**

**Thanks so much for reading. Teaser tomorrow on Fictionators for Friday's update :)**

**I need to write.**


	42. Chapter 42

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Banner by AnaFluttersby**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward/Preciousward**

**or as someone called him "Adorably Virginal"**

**Chapter 41**  
**BPOV**

I sleep more soundly than I've slept in weeks. I wake with Edward molded behind me in the spooning position. The feather light kisses he's leaving on my neck and shoulder give me goose bumps. In addition to making me smile.

"Good morning, beautiful," he hums between kisses.

"Good morning. I slept so well last night," I say stretching slightly as I turn to face him.

"Me too," he says pulling me close, my head cradled against his chest under his chin. I can feel him kissing my head and hair. The sound and feel of his steady heartbeat is soothing.

"Last night was... incredible," I say timidly. I don't want to push him, but I want him to know how much I enjoyed myself and how I enjoyed pleasing him.

He nods. "I never thought I'd ever experience that, so ya, incredible, amazing, unbelievable, etc."

I nod, snuggling in closer to him until the dogs become impatient to be let out.

**~MEB~**

"Thanks for breakfast," Edward kisses me chastely on the lips before taking the dishes to the sink. "It's time for me to carry my weight around here. When you cook, I'll clean." He turns his back to me and starts the hot water.

I'm still sitting at the table mustering the courage to say what I need to say. I know this is going to hurt him and that's the last thing I want to do, but it has to be done.

"Um, Edward?"

"Ya," he calls over his shoulder.

"I'm going to go visit my dad's." His body stiffens and ceases moving for a moment. Then his shoulders slump in defeat as he continues with the dishes.

I walk up behind him and wrap my arms around his waist, pressing my body up against his. He stiffens at my touch, not a good sign.

"It's just a visit. I have a few things I need to take care of up there. I'll be gone a week, tops." He still hasn't said anything.

"I would ask you to come with me, but I need a favor here," I continue. He still doesn't respond. "Can I leave Buddy here with you?"

He nods. "Sure, of course," he answers flatly.

"Hey," I say taking the soapy dish from his hand and tugging him around so we're facing each other. "I don't want to go. I just have some stuff to do. I'll be back. I'm leaving my baby with you. I have to come back."

He nods again; his eyes have yet to meet mine.

"Edward. Look at me," I prompt.

When his eyes meet mine I see sadness, fear and defeat.

"I will be back. I know this seems sudden, but it's something I've actually been putting off."

I pull him close to me. "Do you really think I could stay away from you and Booboo?" I ask teasingly.

He shrugs. "Edward, I almost lost you just a few weeks ago. It's going to be really hard for me to leave you guys, even for a few days, but it's something I have to do. Please believe me when I say that I'll be back, because I will."

I go up on my tiptoes and kiss the side of his mouth. My hands fist in his hair and pull him down to me.

His body slowly relaxes into mine and he responds to my kisses.

When we separate, he goes back to washing the dishes, and I finish clearing the table. I can see him nod before he speaks.

"This will be good. I've got some photography shoots and edits to catch up on. It will be good," he says like he's trying to convince himself it's true.

It is good, he just doesn't know it yet.

**~MMB~**

The days following me telling him I was leaving are a bit strained. We are still us, but not as comfortable. We don't have any more intimate moments besides kissing and cuddling. Edward has definitely raised some of his walls back up to protect himself. It makes me sad to think that he feels he needs to protect himself from me. I hope in the end he understands why this trip was necessary for him, for us.

I say goodbye to Seth and Paul before leaving for the airport. Their time working for Edward is almost over, but they have become friends. After hugging Seth, Edward continues giving him a few instructions, while Paul walks me to the car and helps me put my bag in the trunk.

"Um, Bella?" Paul asks nervously.

"Ya?" I ask distractedly since my focus is on making this separation from Edward as painless as possible.

"Um, since I won't be working for Edward anymore when you get back, can I give you a call?"

Now he's got my full attention. "What?" I ask for clarification.

"You know, so we can go out. I had to wait until I wasn't working here anymore. You know the saying, "Don't shit where you eat." He says proudly.

If the "no" factor with dating Paul wasn't already there it is now, ewww.

I shake my head. "Sorry, Paul. I'm not interested in dating... anyone right now." I glance at Edward as I say it. He's looking at me with concern.

I turn back to Paul. "But Paul, I do really appreciate all you and Seth have done for Edward and me. Your presence here has made this whole horrible experience bearable. I give him another quick hug and get my butt in the car... awkward.

Leaving Edward and the dogs isn't easy. Edward insists on driving me to the airport. I try to keep the conversation and mood light, but I tear up the second I turn my back and head into the airport leaving him on the sidewalk by the car where he dropped me off. I will miss them terribly.

**~MMB~**

"Bells, you should sell your house and move back here. Heck, you could build your own place with the money you spent on that cottage you have,"  
I nod and try to block out the umpteenth conversation we've had about me moving back to Seattle.

I've explained to him numerous times that I want to live in Southern California; it's my home although I don't actually have a home right now. I want it to be where I settle permanently. That doesn't stop him from continuing to try and convince me to stay.

I'm so ready to go back to California, back to my boys. My flight is in two days, and it seems so far away.

**~MMB~**

I'm so excited I can hardly contain myself as I sit in the airport shuttle heading back to HB. I couldn't wait the two days until my planned flight so I changed it and am heading home a day early. I didn't tell Edward. I'm going to surprise him.

The shuttle driver unloads my suitcases at the bottom of the steps and I leave them there and bolt up the stairs. I stop just outside the front door because I can hear Edward in what sounds like a heated discussion with a... woman. Their words are muffled. I press my ear to the door and still can't decipher the conversation.

I quietly test the doorknob to see if it's unlocked. It is! I barely open it, just enough to hear them, but not see them. I know the dogs are going to give me away any second. I wait, straining to hear, but the dogs don't come. Hmmm?

Her voice is deep and raspy. To some she might sound alluring, to me she sounds like a slut. I can feel the anger rising in my body, my skin flushing from the heat.

I can barely hear Edward's voice because he's facing the other direction.

I push the door open a little more until I can see the back of Edward. His body language is stiff, his hands flailing when he speaks and fisted at his sides when she talks. I still can't hear what he's saying.

I push the door a little more and there she is. She's a cougar. A cougar! Attractive, maybe in her 40's. Spilling out of her clothes in many places. She moves seductively when she speaks, moving closer to him.

I'm about to bust in and claim him when I hear a portion of what he's saying. It stops me dead in my tracks.

**A/N**

**Evil Cliffie... duh, duh, duh! Hope you trust me :)**

**What do you think Edward is saying? And who is the woman?**

**You guys are amazing! Next update on Monday! I always post info about teasers on my fb page. **

**Recs**

**Tip of the Spear by Robsmyyummy Cabanaboy**

**Heading West by Cullens TwiMistress**

**Practicum by TheFicChick**

**The Other Side of The Fence by Edward's Eternal**


	43. Chapter 43

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Banner by AnaFluttersby**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward/Preciousward**

**or as someone called him "Adorably Virginal"**

**Chapter 42 **

**EPOV**

I've never felt closer to anyone than I feel to Bella right now. She has given me more than I ever even imagined I would have, and that's not including the physical gratification. It's more about the intimacy, the special moments, the touches, kisses, looks. I'm a happy man right now cuddled up next to a sleeping Bella, the morning after.

Turns out accidental porn is a good thing. I would never choose to watch it with her in the room, I mean maybe someday, but not now. I'm getting off track. Anyway, watching it got me worked up and apparently her as well. It led to...a blow job. I'm giggling like a girl in my head just thinking about it.

It was amazing, incredible, better than I imagined. And I imagined a lot. I tried not to, but I am a guy, so ya. I imagined it. But it was so much better and it's because it was her. Her mouth, so warm and then so tight. I'm surprised I lasted as long as I did. 'Cause ya, awesome.

Reciprocating was as good, well, almost as good. Her taste, the way her body reacted to me, the sounds she made. Hmmmm. It was a good night.

Just thinking about it, her, makes me have to touch her, kiss her. I move her soft hair off her bare shoulder, and I place light kisses on her smooth skin. I see the goose bumps rise on her arm making me smile, knowing what I'm doing to her. I could start every day like this.

**~MEB~**

Everything is going perfectly until she utters those words, "I'm going to visit my dad." I knew it was coming sooner or later, but it still hit me hard. She's leaving. She's leaving me. She tried to make me feel better by leaving Buddy here, but I'd rather be with her. But it's good, it's good. I have a lot to take care of. Photography shoots I've postponed. Photo edits I've put off. I have my appointment with Maggie. I need to hire someone to work at the rescue. Yes, it's a good thing she's leaving. I'll get some things done.

I try not to let it, but her leaving has changed me a bit. I'm keeping her at a distance. I know I am, but I can't help it. I'm... messed up. She knows that. Maybe that's why she's leaving. To house hunt. I can imagine her dad is going to try and convince her to move there. I try to keep busy and keep my brain from over thinking.

Before taking her to the airport she so sweetly goes out of her way to thank Seth and Paul. They are only with me for a few more days and will be on to another job by the time she returns.

Paul helps her with her suitcase while I talk with Seth.

"You and Paul have been so great helping out here, even though it's not in your job description."

"It's been a pleasure working for you, Edward. Anytime you need anything, just call. I'll drop whatever job I'm working on," he says kindly.

"That's nice to hear, Seth, but I don't want to have any reason to need a bodyguard ever again."

"I understand," he nods. "Are you still looking for someone here at the rescue?"

"Yes. You and Paul have filled in, but it's time to train someone who will be here regularly."

"I told my sister I'd mention this," he starts nervously. "Leah, my sister, she's in Vet school and would love to work somewhere like this while she's finishing up her degree. She needs some practical training."

"Sure, I'll talk to her. Give her my number and tell her to call me." This could be good, I trust Seth. He did kill someone for me after all.

While finishing up with Seth, I glance towards Bella. She looks uncomfortable with whatever she and Paul are talking about. In a flash she's sitting in the car waiting for me, leaving Paul looking forlorn. Hmm, I'll have to find out later what that was about.

At the airport, she leaves me standing on the curb by the car. She just walks away, and doesn't look back. I take a deep breath. This is good. This is good.

**~MEB~**

While she's gone I try to get back into my old routine. I take the boys to the dog beach, it's boring. I try to start working out again, it hurts. I have a photo shoot or two, it's alright. I meet with the architect about the house plans and I go to my parents for Sunday dinner, it's fine, except something is missing. Someone is missing. Bella. I'm not the only one who notices. I catch everyone glancing at the empty chair at the table. They try to overcompensate by including me in every conversation and asking me a million questions. I know they mean well, but it makes it more difficult for me.

I clean up the dishes like I used to when I didn't have a significant other here. Mom and Dad join me in the kitchen.

"When is Bella due back?" My mom asks.

"Two days, Tuesday."

"I bet her dad is glad to see her," my dad adds.

I nod and keep drying the dishes. I'm sure her dad is convincing her to move there right now.

**~MEB~**

"How's it going with Bella out of town?" Maggie starts.

I shrug. "Okay."

"Really? You seem preoccupied today. When is she due back?"

"Tomorrow. I guess."

"Have you two talked?"

I nod. "Every day. She calls to check on Buddy."

"Do you honestly believe she's only calling to check on her dog?"

"I don't know. I guess not. I don't want to assume anything."

Maggie shakes her head. "You're pushing her away again."

"I'm not the one who left," I say defensively.

"She went to visit her dad. Do you think she had other motives for going?"

"I don't know. Maybe she's thinking of moving there. Maybe she's looking at houses."

"Did you ask her?"

I stay quiet, because no, I didn't ask her.

"Communication, Edward. You don't want to assume, yet you assume the worst. If she is considering moving wouldn't you want to know for sure or just stay here in limbo making assumptions?" She says more harshly than I ever heard her speak.

I look up surprised by her tone. Her voice softens when she speaks again.

"Edward, you've been doing so well. Don't let your recovery hinge on what someone else is or isn't doing. You and Bella can be in each other's lives in whatever way you decide. But regardless of that, you need to work on yourself. I know it's not easy, and you've been closed off for so long. Don't retreat into yourself when things get tough. Has talking to me or Bella ever been a bad thing?"

I shake my head.

"Not communicating, not talking about your feelings, about what you're going through is your vise. It's above all what you need to work on. That, and one other thing." She pauses. "You also need to forgive yourself."

I shake my head looking at my hands in my lap. 'Easier said than done' is what plays over in my mind.

"Edward, look at me," she insists.

I meet her calm, understanding gaze. "You will always hold back a part of yourself. You won't ever be all that you can be. The best person you can be. The best you can be in a relationship. Until you forgive yourself."

"How do I do that?" I ask my voice thick with emotion.

"I think you need to talk to your family about this. I want you to tell them how you felt growing up, how you feel now, the good and the bad. That will take some planning on your part, because you don't want to only focus on the negative. For every bad memory you have, I want you to pair it with a good one. I know you can do this, because you've only had good things to tell me about your sister and your parents."

I nod. Talking to my parents, my sister, about all of this. It's a lot.

"Will you just think about it? Try writing some stuff down. If you want to we can go over it next week."

"Okay, I'll try," I say.

"Good," she says clapping her hands together. "Same time next week and Bella is scheduled right after you."

I perk up at that, because she kept her appointment for next week. That's a good sign, right?

**~MMB~**

Back home I'm straightening up the apartment. The dogs and I really acted like messy bachelors while Bella's been gone.

I come back from a trip to the trash bin out back and am startled by Victoria standing in my living room. The dogs are circling her feet and barking wildly.

"Oh, Edward," she says giving me an all too friendly hug, practically tripping over Buddy in her rush to get to me.

"Victoria, what are you doing in here?" I say irritated.

"The door was open. I was calling your name. I thought you might be in the shower or something."

The dogs are still going crazy. "Boys, hush." I say without conviction. They don't calm down.

"Can you do something with them," she says waving her long red nails in their direction.

I don't want to talk with her, but I put the dogs in the bedroom, because I do want to hear what she has to say. Maybe she will talk about the sale of her property, which is in a quick sale right now.

"What do you want, Victoria?" I ask standing a good distance from her.

"I wanted to come by and say good bye. Some billionaire has paid a crazy amount of money for my property. We've moved out already. The conditions of the contract insisted that we move out immediately. Probably some eccentric man who wants to have it disinfected or something."

"That's nice for you. Where have you relocated?" Please say somewhere far from here.

"I found the perfect place inland a bit. You'll be glad to know that this changes things with the lawsuit. Sorry about that, no hard feelings I hope." She smiles and shimmies up close to me.

"I'm glad the lawsuit has been dropped," is all I say. I'm not letting her off the hook that easy.

"Come on, Eddie. Don't be mad at me," she pouts. "You know you could have made it go away months ago. All you had to do was spend some 'quality' time with me."

"I know, Victoria, but I told you I'm not interested. I don't do one night stands."

"We could have done it more than once," she says placing her hand on my chest and rubbing.

I shiver, but not in a good way. My hands fisting at my sides from her touch. I step back, but she mimics my movements.

"We're not doing this, Victoria. You need to go," I say trying to hold my ground.

"I can make you feel real good," she coos. Starting to unbutton her own blouse.

"Victoria, stop."

She doesn't.

"You need to stop. This is not going to happen. Throwing yourself at me clothed or naked is not going to change that," I say gesturing with my hands, hoping the movement will keep her at bay.

"Come on," she says reaching for the top of my pants.

"Victoria. I'm in love with someone else. I will not jeopardize that for anything, with anyone. Do you understand what I'm saying? I love someone else." I stop abruptly realizing what I just said...out loud. I love her. I love Bella. I do!

"Bella," I say like a prayer.

"I'm home," I hear loudly from behind me. Bella.

I turn just as she reaches me and pulls me into a surprisingly passionate kiss. My hands grab her and pull her closer like she's going to escape if I don't.

We break from our kiss, our foreheads connected as we calm our breathing.

"I missed you," she says.

I smile. "You have no idea how much I, we missed you."

"Where are the dogs?" she says looking around.

"They were going crazy when Victoria showed up."

At that we both turn to look at Victoria who is quickly buttoning her shirt. I think she finally realizes that this is not going to happen.

"Victoria, this is my Bella," I say hugging her closely to my side.

Victoria nods.

"Oh, Victoria are you here to tell Edward you're dropping the lawsuit. That is so wonderful."

"Um, well, kind of," she sputters. "I'm selling, so the lawsuit is gone."

"That's wonderful," Bella says way too enthusiastically. "So nice of you to stop by and let us know," she says ushering Victoria out the door. Before I can say anything the door is shut and locked and Bella is leaning against the door looking at me with a weird expression on her face. Am I in trouble?

**A/N**

**I think only one of you guessed what she heard Edward say. Does she tell him she heard? Who's going to bring up the subject first? Did you get some answers?**

**Thanks so much for your ongoing support :) Next update on Friday!**

**I took some creative license with real estate matters. Gotta love fiction :)**

**Teaser today on Fictionators for Fridays update!**


	44. Chapter 44

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Banner by AnaFluttersby**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward/Preciousward/Insecureward**

**or as someone have called him "Adorably Virginal"**

**Chapter 43**

**BPOV**

When I enter the apartment. I have two thoughts, 'get her out' and 'claim my man'. There is no plan in my mind on how to do that. Just the chant, 'get her out.' Within seconds she's gone, door locked.

I can tell by the look on Edward's face that he's confused by my actions. I'm sure the thoughts and expressions fleeting across my face aren't helping with his confusion. I'm just as confused. Do I tell him I heard him? Do I assume he meant it? Could he have just said that to get rid of her? Whatever, I just want him closer. So I summon him with a crook of my finger.

He comes willingly, but with hesitation. What does he think I'm going to do?

He stops, leaving a foot between us, too much space. I grab the front of his shirt and pull his body flush with mine. The force of my pull causes him to put his hands on the door to brace himself, effectively making an Edward cage around my body. I like it.

Lifting onto my toes and pulling him down to me, I kiss the shit out of him. I missed him so much. His smell, his taste, his smile, him. The kiss quickly becomes heated and passionate. I take the opportunity to rub against him in all the right places, causing him to groan in lust and frustration.

"I missed you so much," he says against my lips. His hands finding their way down my body, pulling me closer, while lifting one of my legs up around his hip. My turn to groan when I feel him hard, right where I want him.

"You have no idea how hard it was to leave."

"You're home early, he breathes against my ear," I can feel him smile against my skin.

"I couldn't wait any longer to come home. To see you," I whisper as I lift my chin to give him better access to my neck.

"You were gone too long," he continues leaving open kisses on my exposed skin.

We're in our own little bubble of touching, talking and kissing. Until the sound of the dogs whining from the bedroom becomes too loud to ignore.

"Someone else missed you, too," he chuckles.

"Let's go release the hounds," I joke, reluctantly lowering my leg to the floor, breaking our connection.

We walk hand in hand to the bedroom. Once the door is open I'm practically knocked over by the force of the two small dogs jumping against my legs. I give up and sit on the floor letting the boys jump all over me. I'm covered in dog kiss slobber, but loving every second. Not hearing the snapping of the camera until they've finally calmed down.

Edward is smiling at us from behind the lens.

"Get over here," I beacon him to join me on the floor. He does, causing the dogs to get excited all over again. Within seconds we're laughing and rolling around with the dogs. All I can think is this is exactly where I want to be.

**~MEB~**

He helps me get my luggage from downstairs, which we find knocked over and covered in dirt at the bottom of the stairs. Edward raises his brows at me in question when he sees them. I just shrug, "Victoria."

"How is your dad?" he asks as he sits on the bed and watches me unload my suitcase.

"He's good. Annoying. I can't tell you how many times he told me I should move back to Seattle," I shake my head.

"Are you considering it?"

"What? No. This is my home. Southern California is my home. It's where I want to be."

He nods his head averting his eyes.

"Edward? Did you think I was going there to look for a house?" I move to sit next to him on the bed.

He shrugs, not meeting my eyes.

"Edward, look at me." When he does I see fear and sadness. "If I was thinking about moving, I would have told you before I left," I say putting my palms against his scruffy cheeks. "I'm happy here."

"You are?"

I nod. "Happier than I've ever been." I smile with confidence before I give him a chaste kiss.

"Really?" He asks. "Me too," he shyly admits.

"Do you want to talk about Victoria?" I ask with hesitation, because I haven't thought farther than that question.

He shrugs. "She's moving away and wanted to throw herself at me one more time."

"How did that go?"

"You tell me," he laughs. "You came and saved me. I don't know how you got her out of here so fast. I'd been trying to get her to leave for a while."

"I heard." I mumble.

"You did?" he inquires.

My turn to nod.

"What did you hear?"

"What did you want me to hear?" I ask looking him in the eye.

"I meant everything I said. So any portion you heard is fine with me," he says, holding my stare and giving me a small smile.

I nod again, looking away. Thinking about how to proceed with this conversation.

"I heard the last part," I say standing to busy myself with unpacking again.

It's quiet for a minute. I hear him get up from the bed, but I don't know what he's doing until I feel him press up against my back. His hands wrap around my middle. He bends down and kisses my neck under my ear. "Did you hear me say that I love you?" He whispers into my ear, causing me to shiver and melt into him.

I nod. "I do Bella. I love you. I've never felt like this in my entire life. You are so good, good to me. You make me want to be whole, to overcome what I never thought I could possibly overcome. I want to be healthy, whole, for us."

He loves me. He didn't just say it to get rid of Victoria. I absorb what he's saying. It warms my heart and makes me love him even more. I turn in his arms and hug him tightly, resting my head on his chest. His heart is beating strong and rapid.

I clear my throat of the emotion that threatens to choke me. "Edward," I pause looking him in the eye. "I love you, so much. I love you how you are right now. You are whole. More whole than most people."

He is shaking his head as I say it.

"Edward. I know you have stuff to work through. We all do. I understand that, but you are whole. You live, you love, you give, expecting nothing in return. I love you. The you I see right now. I will be here for you in whatever you choose. But know. I love you, regardless." My tears are falling by the time I finish my speech.

He blinks in disbelief, a single tear falls from his eye. I wipe it gently away and kiss him with all of the passion and love I can. He needs to know, he needs to feel just how much I love him.

**~MEB~**

"Didn't you take only one suitcase?" Edward asks motioning to the untouched bag standing just inside the bedroom door.

"Um, ya. My dad still had some stuff of mine. I'll move it to the other room and unpack it later," I say, rolling it swiftly out of the room.

I hear his cell ring as I busy myself putting away the suitcase in the spare room.

"That's great news, Jasper. What time? I'll be there." I hear him say right before he hangs up and plops on the sofa.

"Good news?" I ask.

"Yes, I need to sign some papers about the termination of the lawsuit and stuff tomorrow."

"That is good news. What time tomorrow?"

"We're signing the papers right before lunch."

"Perfect. I'm having lunch with your mom tomorrow," I say casually.

"You are? She didn't mention it." Edward says with concern.

"I called her when I was at my dad's. Should I tell her how much I love her son?" I tease moving onto his lap.

He shakes his head and blushes. He so damn cute, I just have to straddle his lap and kiss him silly. Which I do, and he seems to love it, if the situation in his pants is any indication. I want this man so badly, but I will be patient. Easier said than done my lady bits say.

**A/N**

**So who said it first? Bella said she heard him, then he admitted it. Anyone surprised they didn't dance around this?**

**What does Bella have in the other suitcase? Lunch with his mom?**

**Thanks so much for reading. If I've mapped this baby out right, we're looking at 52 ish chapters total.**


	45. Chapter 45

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Banner by AnaFluttersby**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward/Preciousward/Insecureward**

**or as someone have called him "Adorably Virginal"**

**and Patientella**

**Chapter 44**

**EPOV**

She loves me! She. Loves. Me. She loves me. I'm in disbelief as what she is saying sinks in. She loves me.

I love her, but that's easy. She's so lovable, so good. But, she loves me. Why? Even when she tells me why, it's hard to believe. She loves me now. For who I am, now. Not who I could be or even who I want to be. She loves me, now. She's crying when she tells me. A tear escapes my eye, although I try to keep it in. She wipes it. She's here to wipe my tears. I'm in awe and disbelief of this amazing woman.

**~MEB~**

The call from Jasper is surprising. He and the realtor have gotten things pushed through more quickly than I could have hoped. We sign the papers tomorrow. I know Victoria and her people could be there at the same time, but I don't care. I will finally be rid of her. I text Emmett asking if he and the architect can meet us for lunch to go over demolition plans. I want that done soon.

Bella is having lunch with my mom, which is interesting. I don't mind. I want them to be close. It's just unexpected.

"I started working out again," I say later that day.

"You did? How did it feel?" She asks with concern.

"Painful, but not in a bad way. I'm just out of shape," I say pinching my middle. She rolls her eyes.

"I'm going to hit the treadmill," I say giving her a quick kiss before I leave the room.

I'm shirtless and sweaty at fifteen minutes into my thirty minute run, when Bella enters the room wearing far less than anyone should be wearing while stretching, which is what she is doing. Right in my line of vision. Tiny little shorts and a bra thing that is no bigger than a bikini top. I struggle to keep focused and breathe, but my eyes are drawn to her. She is so beautiful and her ass is perfect. I find myself tilting my head to get a better look. Pervert. I berate myself.

She doing some pretzely yoga moves when I slow to a walk to cool down. I'm going to need a cold shower after having her on display, my tired body comes more to life the more my heart rate reaches normal. My thin exercise pants do nothing to hide my dick's intentions.

I stop and reach for my towel. She looks up and gives me a sexy smile and wink. She's going to be the death of me.

"I'm going to get some water and shower," I say exiting quickly.

"Do you need someone to scrub your back," she offers before I'm out of ear shot. How I would love to shower with her. I've fantasized about that numerous times. Taking her against the wall of the shower. Watching her sucking me as I stand under the stream of hot water. Ugh, not helping my situation.

"Um, I'm good," I yell in her direction, as she comes up behind me.

"Are you sure? I could use someone to scrub mine," she says running a finger down my abs. My overly enthusiastic cock twitches in response to her touch. It has been over a week since we've touched each other.

I groan in frustration. I want her. In the shower, on my bed, on the sofa, everywhere. Those visuals adding to my hardness. When her hand reaches down and grabs my cock, my mind is officially changed.

I enjoy her hands on my hardening cock for a beat or two, before I drag her towards the bathroom. We make it into the bedroom before she is all over me, hands, mouth, she's everywhere. She's backing us towards the bed and I'm on top of her within seconds. Oh, god she feels good underneath me. She's soft, small, warm, ughh.

We're kissing sloppily, her hands roaming up and down my back. They rest on my ass and she pulls me closer. Our bodies aligned perfectly. We fit perfectly.

"I want you," she pants into my mouth.

"I want you too. You have no idea how much," I answer breathlessly.

"Take my clothes off," she requests.

That is a request I can grant. I prop up onto one elbow and slowly remove what little clothes she is wearing. She's breathtaking, watching me with flushed cheeks and swollen lips, her chest rising and falling quickly. Once freed from her small top, her nipples harden and beg for attention. I'm happy to give them all the attention they deserve, with my palm, my fingers and my mouth. The way her body responds to my touch is such a turn on. I'm hard and leaking in my shorts.

"These off," she says touching the waistband of my shorts. I freeze. I want this, I want her so badly, but I'm not ready.

"I'm not making love to you until I can be completely naked with you," I tell her hiding my eyes and kissing her neck.

"I love you, Edward. There is nothing that can make me think less of you or find you less attractive. I'm irrationally drawn to you," she says running her fingers through my hair. "Get as naked as you are comfortable with because I'm not done with you."

I quickly remove my shorts and am left in only black boxer briefs, which don't hide much. Her wide lustful smile, as she surveys my aroused state, sends a shiver down my spine.

"Come back here," she beckons.

I spread her legs and kneel between them. She's open for me, wet and ready. My hand traces her swollen flesh. I would give anything to be ready to make love to her, to feel her.

She sits up and frees me through the opening of my briefs; her hands stroke me a few times before she pulls me down on top of her again. My hard cock is trapped between us against her smooth stomach. We kiss, her hands roaming up and down my body. She wriggles until my cock is right there. The wet heat of her arousal almost makes me cum on contact.

"Oh god, so warm, soft, wet," I mumble trying to regain some composure as my cock rests against her open, willing center.

The urge to move, thrust is instinctual. I manage to remain still.

"Edward, make me cum. Like this." She emphasizes what she means by pushing her body upwards, my cock sliding against her. It feels so good.

I try moving, thrusting downward as she pushes up against me. It's so primal, natural, good. The knowledge that with one swivel of my hips I could be inside her is in the back of my mind. She wraps her legs around me as we continue moving together. I want to touch her, make her cum because I'm not going to last. I reach a hand between us to rub her clit.

"Not with your hand," she says confusing me. "With your body."

"Whatever you want," I pant out. "Tell me what to do," I practically beg. My release gaining too quickly.

We move against each other again. She rolls her hips when our pelvis' meet. "Like this."

I try rolling my hips on the next thrust and she moans, "Yes." Her moans and yeses getting louder each time our bodies meet.

"Please tell me you're close," I grunt. "I'm close, I.. I...ughh. I need you to cum." Our movements becoming more erratic and desperate.

"I don't want to make a mess on the bed," I beg, seconds from my release, but not stopping my quest to make her come first too.

She stops moving suddenly and unwraps her legs from my body.

I raise up on my arms hovering above her. "What? What's wrong?" I groan at the cockblock.

"Come here," she says adjusting her body below me. I lower down again, this time my cock rests on her pelvis. "I want you to cum on me. Like this. Make me cum, Edward." She says as she wraps her legs around me again, trapping my cock between us, against her clit.

We start the same rhythm of thrusting and rolling our hips. My cock covered in her arousal slides between us smoothly. Within seconds were both on the edge.

"Oh, so good, you feel so good," she pants.

"Umf, good, close," is all I can manage to say.

"Right there, don't stop," she yells. I do what I'm told. Within seconds she's moaning my name and shaking. I move against her, helping her ride out her orgasm, before I cum hard on her stomach, mindlessly chanting her name.

I collapse on her, her hands rake through my hair as we will our breathing to go back to normal.

"If it's that good and you aren't even naked yet..." she starts.

"I know... I can't imagine anything could be better than that," I add.

"With you, I can imagine it being better, mind blowing," she giggles. "You have skills."

I laugh. Skills, pfft. Maybe she just brings out the best in me.

I tickle her sides and kiss my way up to her smiling lips. "Maybe it's because I love you so much."

**A/N**

**What a lovely response to the 'Lovefest' chapter, as one of you called it.**

**So it's getting a little more lemony... they're getting closer to 'doing it' LOL**

**In order to maintain being three chapter ahead of posting, I will be answering reviews after the next chapter is ****written. Do know that I look forward to reading each and every review. I loved hearing from some of you ****more quiet readers too :)**

**Thanks for your support.**

**Look for a teaser on Fictionators today. See you on Friday!**


	46. Chapter 46

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Banner by AnaFluttersby**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward/Preciousward/Insecureward**

**or as someone have called him "Adorably Virginal"**

**and Patientella**

**Chapter 45 More Lovefest!**  
**BPOV**

"Bella," Esme says as she hugs me tightly. "So good to see you. What a great idea to meet for lunch." Her smile is genuine and motherly as we sit down at a beach front patio table.

"I'm glad you were available. I've missed seeing all of you."

"Yes, how was your trip to Seattle?"

"Good." I nod. "It's always good to see my dad, although he bugged me the entire time about moving back there. He's not a big fan of Southern California."

"Edward was not himself while you were gone," she says in a more serious tone.

"That is probably my fault," I offer. "I didn't realize that he was concerned about me looking for a house while I was there. If I had known I would have reassured him before I left."

"So, you're not thinking of moving away?"

"No, I love it here. There is too much here for me to leave," I add feeling the heat of a blush rising up my face.

Esme smiles knowingly. "I'm very happy to hear that. So things are good with Edward... and the rescue? I haven't talked to him since Sunday dinner."

"Yes, he's good." Talking about Edward and cue the blush again. Esme's smile widens.

I shake my head and laugh nervously. She puts her hand over mine on the table.

"You're good for him, Bella. I've never seen him happier, well until you went to visit your dad," she laughs. "But in general, he is better." Her smile turns wistful.

I nod and blush some more. The conversation over lunch flows smoothly. No more blushing on my part.

When we are finished I walk her to her car to say goodbye.

"I hope to see you Sunday for dinner," Esme almost scolds.

"I'll be there. I promise."

"Oh, and here's what you asked for," she hands me a small item that I glance at briefly. It makes me smile.

"Thanks, Esme. This is perfect."

We hug and go our separate ways. Being so close to my house in Laguna I make a spur of the moment decision to go by and visit my neighbor Angela.

"Bella," she smiles. "What a wonderful surprise." She opens her front door widely to welcome me in, looking around on the floor around me.

"Sorry, Angela. I don't have Buddy with me. I just met a friend for lunch so he stayed back home."

Her eyebrows raise when I say "home." "And where might home be young lady? I was shocked to see the for sale sign on your house last week."

I chuckle nervously. "Things have been so crazy, Angela. So much has happened. I'm sure either through neighborhood rumors or from what you've read in the paper, you know that there was a lunatic in my house and he almost killed Edward. It was horrible and I can't live there anymore. There are too many bad memories."

She nods. "Jacob has been keeping me up on things," she says with a surprising sharpness to her tone.

I fight the urge to roll my eyes. "Angela, just let me say that although Jacob has been a good friend to me in the past, he is by no means an objective source of information regarding me lately. His, um, interest in me has shaded his perception of everything, especially in regards to Edward."

"I've heard about Edward," she says curtly.

"Edward is the kindest, most giving person I've ever known. Jacob has been an absolute jackass when it comes to him. Sorry for my language Angela, but it's true. Edward has done nothing but take care of me and protect me. He risked his life when that psycho James held me at knife point. And he almost died doing it. Jacob's reaction to all of this has shed some very unfavorable light on his character. I know you think that Jacob and I would be good together, but it wasn't going to happen before, and it most definitely isn't happening now." I take a deep calming breath when I finish my rant.

"Jacob's version of this is very different," she says. "He said that Edward put you in danger, forced you to stay with him under his controlling watch and now he's forcing you to sell and move."

I'm shaking my head. "No, not true. This psycho, James, is from my past. We grew up together; he always had an unhealthy obsession with me. He just happened to be the same private investigator Edward hired to investigate his neighbors. James picked up his obsession for me all over again when he saw me with Edward. That is not Edward's fault. He's spent the past month doing everything in his power to protect me because he himself felt responsible for James. James had me at knife point in my bedroom, because I foolishly entered the house before we let Edward's hired security check out the house. Edward got me away from James, causing him to fall on the knife. Edward's security guard shot James. Edward almost died. I've been taking care of him while he recovered from his injury and surgery."

By the time I'm finished, Angela is smiling at me.

"What?" I ask her.

"You're happy," she states.

I laugh. "Considering the story I just told you, yes. I'm happy."

"Edward makes you happy."

"Is it that obvious?"

"I know the look of love when I see it, Bella. When do I get to meet this man? He sounds like a knight in shining armor."

"I will bring him by soon, and Buddy too," I promise. "But I really don't want to see Jacob."

"Let me handle Jacob," she says sternly. "He's got some explaining to do."

When I leave I give her a big hug and promise to come by to see her soon.

**~MEB~**

"Honey, I'm home," Edward yells happily when he enters the apartment.

I run to greet him, the dogs on my heels. We kiss and embrace until the dogs will no longer be ignored and we turn our attention to them.

"You seem happy. Did it go well?" I ask.

"Yep, better than I expected. I have something I want to show you," He says setting down his papers and a long cardboard tube.

"What's all this?"

"My meeting today was about the lawsuit, but in a roundabout way," he pauses shuffling through papers in a file and handing me one."

I look at the document, which is slightly familiar but also very confusing. "I'm confused."

"I bought something."

"Your name isn't on this document."

"Jasper helped me form a corporation. I bought Victoria's property," he says like it's no big deal.

My eyes get wide. "You what?"

"I offered Victoria a ridiculous sum of money to buy her property in a quick sale. She didn't know until today that I was the buyer."

"You saw her?" Out of all he said the fact that he may have seen Victoria today stands out the most.

He nods. "I was there with Jasper and my realtor and she was there with hers. Boy was she pissed. After the papers were signed, she actually tried to slap the smug grin off my face. I ducked. Her people dragged her outside after that." He shrugs.

"Wow." Is all I can say. She tried to hit him, bitch.

We are quiet for a minute or two.

"Wow? Wow good or wow bad?" He asks nervously.

"Um, good! Right? No more lawsuit, that's good. No more Victoria, that's really good. But what are you going to do with the building and all that land?" Not to mention the outlay of money, which I don't mention.

"There's something else I want to show you." He opens the tube and pulls out plans of some sort and spreads them out on the table.

I look at the plans. It's here. The rescue, but expanded. And plans for a house, a huge house on what used to be Victoria's property.

"Wow." Again I'm speechless. I didn't see this coming. He's been busy while I've been gone. Well, he obviously put this into motion weeks ago, without my knowing. I don't know how I feel about that.

"Why didn't you tell me this was all in the works?"

He shrugs, looking chagrined. "I wasn't sure if it was going to go through. I kind of wanted to surprise you."

"Well, I'm definitely surprised," I agree, focusing back on the plans. "This house is amazing," I say running my fingers over the drawing of the swimming pool.

"You like it? These are just preliminary plans. W...I can make changes." He quickly rolls up the plans and stuffs them back in the tube. "How was lunch with my mom?"

"Great. She's good. She kind of scolded me about missing dinner on Sunday," I laugh, causing Edward to laugh too.

"She looks forward to seeing all of us, you included. We'll be there Sunday. Right?" He asks suddenly unsure.

"Of course," I say hugging him around the middle. "I love seeing your family."

He hugs me back, kissing my forehead. "They love you too."

**~MEB~**

"I don't mind helping with the dishes," I say.

"You cooked, so I clean."

"Maybe I like working with you."

He smiles. "I like working with you, too. But I have a better idea." He lifts me onto the island, my bare legs on the cold tile causes me to squeal. He rubs the tops of my thighs and kisses me soundly. "Sit here, looking pretty and talk to me while I finish."

I laugh and roll my eyes. I really don't mind helping.

"Maggie wants me to talk to my parents about some of the stuff I've shared with you."

"Really? How do you feel about that?"

"Nervous, but I think I can do it," he pauses. "Will you be there with me?"

I lean over and grab his shirt pulling him to me so he's standing between my legs. Sliding my hands up his chest and onto his cheeks so he can't look away. I wait for his eyes to meet mine. "I'm here. I will help you with whatever you need. I love you. I support you. Please don't question that."

He nods. Many emotions cross his face before he smiles. "I love you Bella. Thank you."

"Don't thank me. You're impossible to not love."

He blushes and returns to his task.

"All done," he says hanging the dish towel to dry. "What now? Dessert?" An air of mischief to his words.

"What did you have in mind," I answer in what I hope is a flirty tone.

He grabs a spoon and reaches into the freezer and brings out a pint of Ben and Jerry's Chunky Monkey. "Your favorite."

"Yum." I move to hop down from the counter, but he stops me. He prepares a spoonfull of ice cream and holds it out for me to eat. He alternates a spoon for me a spoon for him. The pint is disappearing quickly and melting.

The next spoonful he offers me drips onto my thigh before making it into my mouth. I go to wipe it with my hand, but he grabs my wrist and holds it, dipping down to lick the wayward ice cream. The feeling of his warm tongue and the cold ice cream sends shivers to my core. My reaction doesn't go unnoticed by Edward.

"This ice cream tastes so much better when eaten like this." His eyes meet mine in challenge.

I raise a brow in question.

He sets down the pint and lifts my shirt over my head, my bra is next to go.

"Lay back," he says while grabbing a clean dishtowel and putting it under my head.

The feel of the cold ice cream on my bare stomach makes me jump, but his warm tongue is there swirling and licking the cold away and replacing it with an unmistakable feeling of warmth that spreads throughout my body, concentrating on my hot, now very wet center. A moan of pleasure escapes my parted lips without forethought.

"You taste so good," he breathes against my skin. He drips and tastes my torso everywhere, but my aching, pebbled nipples that are screaming for his mouth.

"Please," I beg. "More."

He chuckles at my neediness, but answers my pleas by dripping the ice cream directly on each nipple and sucking it off, his tongue swirling my flesh with precision. My back arches into his touch, making me want more.

With his mouth still on my breast he lowers and removes my shorts and panties, his hands ghosting up my legs parting them and positioning me so my ass is near the edge of the counter with him standing between them.

He grabs the carton again and dribbles some melted ice cream on my inner thighs; his tongue follows the path of the drips. He tastes closer and closer to my aching center, his nose grazing my swollen clit a few times. It's not nearly enough causing me to groan in frustration.

When he finally drips the sticky ice cream on my pussy I'm a writhing mess of need. He rids me of the stickiness with licks that are long and firm, pulling me closer to bliss. Once he starts sucking my clit and pumping his skilled fingers in and out of me I shatter instantly, calling his name.

Before I can even open my eyes and focus I can hear him smacking and licking his lips, "Hm, sweet and sour. Good."

I giggle and peer up at him, shielding my eyes from the bright kitchen lights.

I move to sit up.

"Wait, let me clean you up." He moistens a clean dish towel with warm water and attempts to remove any residual stickiness from my skin. I will need a shower because some places are just difficult to clean, but I let him take care of me. His ministrations, while innocent, are getting me aroused again. He's so focused on cleaning me up that he has no idea what he's doing to me.

"Better?" He asks looking up from my body and giving me a satisfied smile.

He helps me move to a sitting position and kisses me soundly on the lips. I can taste myself and Chunky Monkey and Edward. Tasting Edward. I grab the dishtowel that was under my head and attempt to gracefully jump down from the counter. Edward grabs my hand to assist me, never taking his eyes from my very naked body. "You are so sexy," he says dipping down to kiss me again.

I can tell by the large bulge in his shorts that he means it. This alone gives me courage, courage to be bold and take charge. With our lips still attached I push his chest, moving him so he's backed up to the opposite counter. My hand travels down to rub him through his shorts. He grabs my hips pulling me closer as our kiss becomes heated and his bulge becomes bigger and harder.

I break our kiss, put the folded towel on the floor and kneel in front of him.

"Bella, you don't..."

I stop him before he can finish. "I want to," I say with conviction.

I reach for the waistband of his shorts, but his hands cover mine. "Bella."

I look up into his nervous eyes. "Edward, I know." Is all I say. I know what he can and can't handle right now, and I would never push him.

He nods, removing his hands from mine. Bending his elbows he tightly grabs the edge of the counter behind him. His knuckles instantly white from the force of his grip.

I slightly lower his shorts and free him through the front of his boxer briefs, leaving them intact. I get a glimpse of his scars, but I don't care what they look like. I only care how Edward feels about them and about me seeing them.

He's hard and leaking. It looks almost painful. I lick the bead of precum from the tip, he bucks his hips in response then apologizes.

"Edward, relax. I want to do this."

I start slow by licking up and down his shaft. I peer up at him through my lashes and he's watching so intently. Like he's committing this to memory. I give him a reassuring smile before my mouth is filled with him. I take him in inch by slow inch. I can get about two-thirds of him in my mouth. My hand covers the area that doesn't fit in my mouth. My free hand goes to his ass encouraging him to move in and out of my mouth. He does, but barely.

"I don't want to hurt you," he grunts, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

I try to tell him with my eyes it's okay, he moves a little more, but not nearly enough. I grab his ass with both hands and show him how much of him I can take and how hard. He watches, his eyes rolling back in his head a few times, but he fights to keep his eyes open and watching.

When my hands aren't guiding him, his thrusts become more shallow and gentle. I put his hands on my head and encourage him to take control.

He's still hesitant, but we get a good rhythm going. I focus on sucking him and swirling my tongue.

"Oh, shit. Bella. That feels so good," he becomes more vocal as we go. "I, I, ahhh, um... Bella. I don't want to... ahhh." From his somewhat coherent words I know he's holding back, which is unacceptable.

I increase my efforts; taking him deeper, faster, sucking harder, tighten my grip on his shaft. I want him to let go, lose himself. He's close, but not close enough. His eyes are still too clear, too focused on what I'm doing.

I hum around his cock, reach up through the fabric of his briefs and cup his tightened balls, rolling them gently between my fingers. That's all it takes for him to lose it. His eyes roll back and close tightly. He thrusts erratically into my mouth pulling my head closer almost making me gag, but not quite. Within seconds his cum is streaming down my throat with force causing me to swallow around him, effectively prolonging his pleasure.

"Oh my g... Ahhh... Belllaaaaaaaaaaaa,"

I lick him clean and sit back on my heels and wipe my lips with the back of my hand.

He's eyes are still closed, a small smile graces his pouty lips. My hands are drawn to his abs I love so much, my lips follow until I'm standing in front of him. Without opening his eyes he pulls me into an embrace, my head resting on his calming heart.

"That was... unbelievable."

"It was," I say kissing his chest. "Why don't you pick a movie and I'll take a quick shower? There is still some ice cream in certain places."

**A/N**

**Okay, well, he started it. But she finished it... all of it ;)**

**Any guesses about what Esme gave Bella? **

**Thanks for staying with me :)**

**More on Monday!**


	47. Chapter 47

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Banner by AnaFluttersby**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward/Preciousward/Insecureward**

**or as someone have called him "Adorably Virginal"**

**and Patientella**

**Chapter 46**  
**EPOV**

My day starts off good and it just keeps getting better. First I have the meeting about the purchase of Victoria's property, which is funny as hell. I arrive after she's signed her portion of the paperwork, when she sees me and is told the whole story about my corporation being the buyer, she is livid. I can't keep the smile from my face and that just incenses her even more. She actually takes a swing at me, open handed, but she still attempts to hit me. I see it coming and duck, not exactly duck, more like move to the side. Her face is beet red and she's yelling some bullshit while her people drag her out the door.

I take everyone out for lunch to celebrate, and then I meet with the architect. He gives me the preliminary plans for the property, which I love. I can't wait to show Bella and get her input, but I don't want to scare her. You know, too much too soon.

The welcome I get from Bella and the dogs would have been enough to make my day spectacular, but no, I have a spontaneous idea to eat dessert off of Bella while she's laid out on the kitchen island. Not necessarily a fantasy of mine, but damn, that is the hottest thing I've ever done. And tasty too!

That brings me to this moment. Bella, kneeling in front of me and taking my needy cock out of my boxers. I never thought I would ever be in this position, literally, especially in the bright lights of the kitchen. Maybe in my wildest fantasy it might happen in a darkened room, but not like this. I have a moment of fear, hesitation, but it's Bella, she gets me. I know she won't do anything I'm uncomfortable with, although this is right at the line.

The sight of her in this position, her hands touching me, her lips, her tongue. I have to grip the counter behind me to remain standing, it's that intense. I watch her, savoring every lick and touch. When she looks at me with those beautiful, innocent, sexy eyes I think I must be dreaming. How can this be happening to me? How can I be this lucky?

She encourages me to thrust into her mouth, she even places my hands on the back of her head, her eyes pleading for me to understand. I'm hesitant. How can she be enjoying this? Having this much control is not normal for me. The desire to thrust with abandon is there, it's primal. I have to keep in control, but I try to do what she wants. It does add another level of intensity, heightens the pleasure.

I'm steadily heading towards my release. The sensations of her tongue on the underside of my cock, her warm mouth sucking me in, her hands, watching her. I'm close, that tingling feeling spreading throughout my body, but I keep it at bay. Does she want me to come in her mouth? Do I warn her? But I can't form a complete thought, let alone verbalize it. I hold off, barely, hanging by a thread. Then she hums around my cock, sending a wave of pleasure throughout my body. Unexpectedly, she fondles my balls. It's too much. I lose all sense of time and place, of reality. My body takes over, instincts take over. I'm lost in the pleasure of my release, barely aware of what I'm doing.

My eyes are still closed, my head lolled back when she kisses her way up my torso. My arms wrap around her, before I even open my eyes. She always feels so good, so right, in my arms. I'm putty, goo.

She kisses my chest, says she going to shower and she's gone. I haven't moved from my leaning position against the counter, the edge digging into my back. Gathering the strength to move, I go to the living room, pick a movie and plop on the sofa, remote in hand. A very clean and damp Bella joins me, and we snuggle together and proceed to fall asleep during the movie. We are becoming a boring couple, but it's perfect.

**~MEB~**

"What are you looking at?" I ran thirty minutes on the treadmill, showered and come into the living room to find Bella sitting on the sofa, what looks like photo albums spread out on the coffee table.

"This is some of the stuff I got from my dad's. Come look," she says patting the spot next to her on the sofa.

"This was my first birthday," she goes through the albums, pointing out photos that are of important milestones in her life, from when her parents were still married. Her parents look so young compared to the photos I saw at her house. They've both aged well, but aged nonetheless. Her mother's face is thinner, more lined now. Her father's a little pudgy and graying at the temples.

"What do you think of these?" She asks pointing out photos of when she was about five or six and playing in what she tells me is her backyard. Her father still lives in the house she grew up in.

"You were so cute. Still are," I give her a quick kiss and refocus on the photos. "I like this one," I point to a photo of Bella standing on a rope swing that looks to be hanging from a huge tree near the edge of the forest. "You look so carefree with your toothless smile and bright eyes with just a touch of mischievousness. Were you a bit mischievous, little Bella?" I ask tickling her side and making her laugh, almost nervously.

"I was a typical kid. I listened most of the time, behaved in school. I would get into things every now and then. I'm sure my parents would tell you differently, but I was a good kid." She shrugs, takes the photo out of the album and hands it to me.

"You mentioned my eyes in the photo," she starts. Look at them again. Do you think that this child is capable of intentionally hurting someone?"

I shake my head. The child in the picture is innocent, a child, my Bella.

"What if I told you that this child ruined lives, a whole family?" She continues.

I just shake my head and study the face of the child, the child who is now the woman I love.

"But she did, or thought she did. She blamed herself for years for irreparably changing a family."

"What do you mean?" I ask my eyes meeting her watery ones.

"My mother left us shortly after these photos were taken. She left me. She said it was her, her fault, but I heard them talking when they thought I wasn't listening. She left because of me; the pressure of living in a small town, the monotony and responsibility of taking care of a child, a house. Her leaving left a void in me, a void I filled with self-loathing, cynicism and blame. My dad was supportive and loving, but devastated. He never blamed me for her leaving, but I knew, without me, she might still be there with him." Her tears fall freely down her cheeks, causing me to tear up for this child, this innocent child, who blamed herself for something completely out of her contro... oh crap.

My eyes shoot to hers. She knows. She understands, but how?

She tentatively reaches for something under the photo album and hands it to me. I gasp. My eyes are drawn to the photo, the boy in the photo. "Where did you get this?" I croak, my throat thick with emotion.

"Your mom. She has photos and stuff from before you came to live with them."

I nod, I didn't know she had things from my previous life. I try to put that aside and focus on the photo again.

"Look at him, Edward, the boy. Look at his eyes. What do you see?" She gently prods.

"He's happy, the same innocence as you at this age."

"Is he capable of hurting someone?"

"No, but it happened anyway," I defend, my eyes unwillingly overflow with built up tears, tears that weren't shed when they should have been.

"And my parents got divorced, leaving my dad alone to care for me."

"That's not your fault, that's between your parents," he starts.

"And the accident was the result of a drunk driver. You weren't driving either car or being reckless. You were a victim as much as your parents."

I shake my head. Not true, I could have helped them.

"Even if I had been the perfect child I couldn't have saved their marriage. It has taken me a long time to get to this place, where I don't feel the blame. I went to therapy as a teenager, talked to my dad, made peace with my mom. You were the final piece of my healing, Edward. You made me believe in love, the kind of love they write songs about. I didn't think it existed. That it was only for the gullible and stupid. But it does exist I feel it here with you." Her shaking hands cup my face, guiding it to hers. She kisses me sweetly. The tears from both of our eyes making it taste salty.

"Edward. The accident would have happened whether or not you were in the car or strapped into the seat. You were a child." She grabs my hand, holding the photo and brings it up for me to see. "He was an innocent child. He couldn't have saved his parents. It was an accident, a horrible accident."

She grabs the photo of little Bella and holds it next to the photo of me. "These children are not to blame. They were children, innocent, happy children."

I stare at the boy in the photo, a photo that I remember being taken shortly before the accident. I feel a crack a fisure, it hurts, like something is opening that's been closed for a long time. My heart aches, but feels lighter. I feel something, something I've never felt; empathy, understanding. I'm not sure, but it's there. I look at him differently, the boy, a new perspective, an opening to heal.

She straddles my lap and I hug her to me. So thankful for this woman, for this chance, for my life. I silently cry into her hair as she cries into my shirt. We cling to each other tightly for what seems like a long time. When our tears subside she lifts her head and looks at me. "Are you okay?"

"I hate to cry, but I guess it was overdue," I shrug rubbing my hands over my tear stained face. "Thank you for loving me, and for caring enough to try and help me."

"Did I help?" She asks with obvious concern.

"I think so. I have a lot of undoing to do, but for the first time I see the boy from the accident, me, in a different light. I can see how this might not be his fault after all. I was never able to see that before."

She nods. "I had to try. You don't see yourself like the rest of us do. I wanted you to see how special and wonderful you were and are."

"You bring out the best in me. I never thought a relationship with a woman was something I deserved, in fact happiness was never something I thought I deserved. I've always tried to do the right thing, what was expected of me. I thought that was going to be the extent of my happiness; my family, friends, the dogs. Now, I see you there, in my future."

She weaves her fingers through my hair, her nails gently scraping my scalp. "You are my future too, Edward. And it's a very bright, happy one." She kisses me like she means it.

**A/N**

**Did Bella do good? So Esme gave her a photo of little Edward.**

**I did not write a chapter, so I couldn't reply to reviews from the last chapter... sorry :/ I'm off today, so I will write and answer reviews this update.**

**Thanks so much for your ongoing support and entertaining reviews :)**

**Disclaimer- I did do some research about therapeutic techniques for PTSD and Survivors Guilt. I implemented some of what I read, with some creative license.**


	48. Chapter 48

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Banner by AnaFluttersby**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward/Preciousward/Insecureward**

**or as someone have called him "Adorably Virginal"**

**and Patientella**

**Chapter 47**  
**BPOV**

I'm so nervous, my hands are shaking, and I'm sweating. I call Maggie. She reminds me of what could or couldn't happen as a result of my plan. I'm still scared. I'm scared that my actions will make Edward withdraw from me, from us. I don't want that, but I know he needs to know, and I need to try to get him to understand.

I spread things out on the coffee table; the book that I want is conveniently on the top of the pile. He runs on the treadmill, walks past me all glistening with sweat, it is difficult for me to let him go and not chuck this whole idea and lick his abs instead. He showers, my mind travels to the gutter a few times while I know he's naked, wet and soapy. It's a welcomed distraction from my obsessive, anxious thoughts.

When he finally enters the living room, I'm as ready as I'll ever be. I try to be calm, act normal. I think I'm doing okay. I show him photos of me as a baby, a toddler, with my parents. I stop on a page of photos that were taken when I was about five or six, playing in our backyard. They were taken when life was good, easy. When nothing bad had ever happened to me yet. I've always wished I could go back to that time. The time of ignorant bliss.

I've gone over the words I would say to him a hundred times in my head. Of course I forget a few things I want to say, but I say most of it and hold my breath and wait.

When the realization of what I'm saying, what I'm alluding to hits. The look on his face, in his eyes, is heart breaking. I see anguish, confusion, pain. I just keep talking. I tell him about my childhood, what I went through. Though it's not nearly as tragic as his, my feelings and thoughts mirror his, on a smaller scale. I still had my dad, my home. My mom was still alive, though not present in my daily life. I remember the moment I was able to look back on my mom leaving us with new eyes. It was pivotal in my healing.

I want that moment for him. The moment he realizes that maybe it was just an accident. That no matter what he might have done, nothing could have changed it. Many people, especially children, don't understand that it's okay to feel sad, hurt, devastated after something like this, that it's a normal reaction. They feel like those feelings must mean they were wrong, or to blame, or could have done something differently. That is hard for adults to process, let alone a small child who's lost everything.

He tries to defend himself, I just keep talking. I tell him how good he is. I cry, he cries. We hold each other. I hurt for little Edward, for little Bella and for Edward now. But I don't hurt for who I am now. I'm in the best place I've ever been and this is me fighting for that, for the life I see. A life filled with love that I never thought was possible. A life that includes Edward, that revolves around him.

I straddle his lap and get as close to him as I possibly can. I whisper how much I love him. How he's made my life so much better. I kiss him, relish in his scent, I explore his mouth. My lips linger on his sharp jawline, his bobbing adams apple, the sprinkle of hair on his upper chest. I take him in, into my soul. I feel it; I hope he can feel it too. It's not sexual, it's deeper.

We sit wrapped in each other until my stomach growls, breaking the tension and making us laugh.

"Someone needs food," he says helping me stand on legs that have fallen asleep.

"It is lunch time," I defend. "Let's pack our lunch and take the kids to the beach."

"I have a better idea. Let's grab food at that deli on PCH and take the dogs down to Laguna, to my parents."

"We should call and see if your parents want anything," I suggest.

"Good idea. Go get your stuff together and I'll call them," he says reaching for his cell.

I pack a bikini, a sweatshirt, smash ball, and some toys and treats for the boys.

Edward joins me by the front door with a bag of stuff of his own. The drive to Laguna is pleasantly quiet. Both of us deep in thought. I'm dying to know what he's thinking. Is he processing? I want to mention the option of calling Maggie, but he seems to be doing okay.

Carlisle is at work, but Edward's mom meets us at the house for lunch. We eat deli sandwiches on the covered patio. Esme notices our innocent touches. I catch her watching us and smiling, but she doesn't say anything. I don't know if Edward notices.

"I saw the photo you gave Bella," Edward says out of nowhere. I freeze mid-bite, his mom looks like a deer in the headlights. "Bella said you have more stuff. I want to see it," he says surprising the hell out of both his mom and I. So much so, her only response is a nod. Inwardly, I'm giving a fist pump. This is big. He takes a deep breath, "I think it's time I deal with my past so I can move on." He smiles in my direction as he says it.

"Bella and I are going to take the dogs down to the water," Edward says after lunch is cleaned up.

"I'll get your box while you're gone," Esme offers.

"We'll be back in a while," he kisses his mom on the cheek and goes to change into his swim trunks, leaving Esme and I alone for a minute.

She looks at me raising a brow in question.

I shrug, "I'm as surprised as you," is all I say. What went on between Edward and I earlier today is not my story to tell.

We frolic on the beach, throwing balls, to two very wet, sandy dogs. When the dogs are spent and need a rest, we take the opportunity to go out into the ocean together.

"The water is perfect," I say, jumping over the small waves as we walk deeper in.

"It is," he says taking my hand to help me jump. His height is an advantage for him in the crashing surf. I'm still getting splashed in the face, even with his help. "Come here," he pulls me to him and lifts me onto his back. I wrap my legs around his waist and my arms loosely around his neck, my chin on his shoulder.

He smells of salt and sun and Edward. I taste his neck just under his ear and sigh in contentment. I can never be close enough to him, or get enough of him.

"What was that for?"

"That was a happy sound," I pause. "I'm really proud of you, Edward. Just when I think I've got you all figured out, you do something even more amazing."

"I haven't done anything."

"Listening to me, coming here, asking for your box. It's... I'm astounded by you."

"You make all of this so much easier, Bella. It's still hard, but with you here. I feel like I can do it, face it. Thank you."

"This is all you. I hope you know how much I admire your strength."

"Will you be with me when I go through the box?"

"Of course, anything. And if you need to talk to Maggie, she's available by phone today. She knew what I was doing and offered to have you call her if you needed to."

"I do need to talk this over with her, but my appointment is in a few days. I think I can wait."

Edward glances back at the beach where the dogs are and scowls, cursing under his breath; he turns and starts walking towards the shore. I'm still perched on his back.

As soon as we are turned in that direction, I see what is causing his change in mood. A skimpily dressed Tanya is standing at the water's edge looking at us.

He lowers me to the sand when the water is knee deep, grabbing my hand tightly and keeping me close to him. We walk towards her, our body language and connection very different than the last time we ran into her on this beach.

"Edward!" She hugs him tightly, he doesn't return the hug. His hand never leaves mine and his other hand is limp at his side.

"Tanya," he nods without smiling. She tries to grab his available hand, but he reacts quickly and wraps both hands around me pulling me closer into his side. "This is my girlfriend, Bella. Bella this is Tanya, a friend of the family."

"Hi, Tanya," I say flatly, plastering a fake smile on my face.

"Edward, we are more than just family friends," she teases smacking him on the chest. It's my turn to pull him closer to me.

"What do you want, Tanya?"

"Just making sure you are still coming to my parent's party?"

"I hadn't planned on it. I've been very busy, we've been very busy," he says giving me a smile.

"Oh, I was counting on you being there. It will be fun. Like old times," she flirts.

"Sorry Tanya. Give your parents my best. Shall we head up to the house?" He asks turning his attention from her.

I nod. "Sure." We gather our things and head to the house, the dogs jumping at our feet. Edward never even glances back at Tanya. About half way to the house I stop him and give him a very grateful, extended kiss. It leaves us both breathless and smiling. Seeing Tanya is the farthest thing from our thoughts, where I have no doubt she will stay.

**~MEB~**

Edward brings the dusty box into the apartment and sets it on the floor near the sofa. He tends to the dogs, we shower separately, have dinner, but there is no mention of the box. I catch him glancing at it a few times. It's kind of like the elephant in the room. I let him control the pace of this. It has been an emotional day, he might want to get a good night's sleep before plunging into another, what is sure to be, emotional situation.

We settle into the sofa, like we do many nights, except this time the remote sits untouched on the coffee table. We sit in silence. He breathes deeply a few times before he pushes the coffee table away, reaches for the box and sets it on the floor in front of us.

I rub circles on his back and give him an encouraging smile when he glances my way.

He nods swiftly before lifting the flaps on the recently opened box.

**A/N**

**Bella's version of things. What do you think will be in the box?**

**Okay, we are winding down. Besides 'real sex,' what would you like to see happen with these two? I'm up for suggestions and ideas, to add to my own of course :)**

**Thanks for reading and supporting me.**


	49. Chapter 49

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Banner by AnaFluttersby**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward/Preciousward/Insecureward**

**or as someone have called him "Adorably Virginal"**

**and Patientella**

**Chapter 48**  
**EPOV **

What Bella told me about her past and how it relates to mine rolls around in my head all day. I want to go see my parents, my mom in particular. Her presence has always been a comfort to me, from the day I met her.

Spending time on the beach with Bella and the dogs is just what I need. It clears my head. Things are great until Tanya shows up. To be honest, seeing her only solidifies in my mind and my heart how much I want Bella. With my revelations comes strength, the strength to quickly and soundly dismiss Tanya. I have no regrets with this encounter. I walk away knowing that Bella knows she is more important, unlike last time.

We bring the box home. The box that holds my life before the accident. I don't know what's in there, except for photos. I watch the box, like it's going to come to life or something. I know that it will bother me and I won't be able to relax until I meet this head on and look inside. After dinner I'm resigned to just do it.

We sit on the sofa together, her soothing and supporting me, me mustering the guts to open it.

I lift the flap like it's a jack-in-the-box and something's about to pop out at me. Nothing does. But what is sitting on top makes me audibly gasp.

Bella's hand on my back stops and she grabs my arm with both of her hands. I can feel her eyeing me cautiously.

I gingerly reach in and take out the item. It's Teddy, my teddy bear. I carried him everywhere. He was always so dirty; his neck always ripping open, and my mom would have to repair it. I set look him over carefully. Except for the musty smell, he is exactly as I left him.

"This is Teddy. He was my bear, my friend. I didn't go anywhere without him. He was in the car with me during the accident. When I was pinned I couldn't reach him. He was retrieved by the firefighters and brought to me in the hospital. I wouldn't even touch him. He was stained and stinky from the smoke. He only reminded me of what I lost."

"He looks okay now," I note.

"Someone must have had him cleaned or something," I muse. Setting him on my lap I reach back into the box. I pull out a blanket, seeing it makes me smile. "This was my blanket. I always slept with it. We called it Softy," I say rubbing it between my fingers like I did as a child. I set it next to me on the sofa and keep digging in the box. Next is a shoe box, I peek inside and see there are loose photos, notes and a few envelopes. I close it and move on. At the bottom of the box are a few photo albums. I take them out and look at the writing on the front. One is of my parent's wedding, one says 'Baby's First Year,' and the others don't have a title. I sit back on the sofa and take a deep breath.

"Are you okay?"

I nod, "I'm okay. I'm glad to know what's in here. The suspense was killing me," I chuckle. "But I think I'm done for the night. We can look at the photos tomorrow. Is that okay with you?" I ask her.

"Whatever you want, honey. I'm here, whenever," she smiles and kisses my cheek.

"Can we go to bed early?" I ask. "I think I just want to hold you."

"I can't think of anywhere I'd rather be," she smiles, standing and holding her hand out to me.

I move Teddy off my lap and put him on the sofa before I stand. I take one step towards the bedroom stop and turn around. I hesitate then pick up Teddy and bring him with me. I know I should feel foolish or embarrassed, but I don't. I know Bella won't judge me or think less of me. Knowing that means everything to me.

**~MEB~**

After breakfast we sit down to look through some of the photos together. I start with my parent's wedding album. I know I probably saw them when I was little, but there is only one photo that I remember, because a copy of it was framed and on the wall in our entry room. I loved looking at that photo when mom was putting on my shoes. Looking at it now feels...weird.

At the end of the wedding album are a few photos of my parents on what must have been their honeymoon. They look so happy, like the world is at their fingertips. I'm glad they didn't know their lives were going to be cut short. From what I remember, they lived and loved life right up until the end.

I am mindlessly tracing my finger over a photo of the two of them in the countryside, looking exactly how I remember them. My mom smiled a lot, she would sing to me all of the time. Dad was gone all day, but when he got home, we were a family. We did everything together. We were happy. I did get myself into some trouble now and then. I laugh out loud just thinking about it.

"What?" Bella asks with a smile.

"I'm just remembering a time when I got into trouble with my cousins. We were having Sunday lunch at their house; our families did this on Sunday after church. We were playing hide and seek, I was the youngest and my older cousin, Peter, was always messing with me because I was littler. He showed me this great hiding place in an old tree at the edge of the property. He told me not to come out no matter who came looking for me. He told me he would come and get me when I won." I shake my head. "He told me little kids never won, and if I did this, he would think I was big like him. I wanted him to think I was big, so I didn't come out. I heard them all calling for me, but I didn't move. I was hungry, I had to pee and it got dark. I was so scared."

"How long were you in there?"

"Six hours or so. When my parents called the police, my cousin finally told them where I was. At first they were so happy to find me safe, and then I got in so much trouble, for not coming out when I heard them calling for me. I didn't rat out my cousin, but my parents knew he put me up to it. We didn't go over there every Sunday after that.

"What did his parents say?"

"Nothing. I remember something my uncle said about me being too small to play with the big kids, because I couldn't follow the rules. I think my parents were mad at my aunt and uncle," I pause, thinking. "You know, that might have been the last time I saw any of them before the accident."

"Horrible people," Bella mumbles under her breath.

I smile and pull her in close for a kiss. It makes me all warm inside when she gets protective. "You know, I felt good about it. I was scared and foolish, but I felt like I gained some respect from my cousins and some self-respect. It was a shitty thing for him to do, but I think it toughened me up."

We go through most of the photos. I remember very few of them because most of them were taken before I was three. I get choked up a few times, the one that is the hardest to see is the last photo taken with my parents. I take it out of the album and hold it for a long time, memorizing each of my parents individually. I place it back in the album, but make a mental note to scan it and get it enlarged and framed for my wall.

The shoebox of photos and notes is left for another day. Bella stays with me the whole time. She gets us drinks, and lunch when needed, but never loses interest in what we're doing, I have her complete attention. As I'm putting the albums on the shelf I think of how I can repay her for her support today? My thoughts go straight to sex, she has created a monster, but I'm happy about it.

**~MEB~**

We go to my parents for dinner on Sunday. We purposely arrive earlier than everyone else. I bring one photo album to show them. Bella busies herself with the dogs and dinner preparations when I sit down with them. I don't ask her to, but she just knows that I need to do this alone. I know she's here if I need her.

At one point my mom and I are in tears. My dad sniffles a time or two but holds us together.

I clear my throat, "I hope you know how much I appreciate you taking care of me, adopting me with all the issues I came with, both physical and emotional. I've punished myself all these years for not being able to save them, for living when they didn't. I hope, even when I was distant and difficult, that you know that I've always loved and respected both of you. You gave me the best life I could have imagined. You gave me everything I needed to heal physically and emotionally. I just haven't been ready, until now, to do what it takes to really heal myself emotionally. I'm sorry for wasting all this time."

My mom gives me a watery smile and a huge hug. "We know you love us, Edward. No matter how sad or how much pain you were in, you always did respect us and you showed us love in your actions. You've always tried to be a good person and put others before yourself. Even too much sometimes."

Dad puts his hand on my shoulder and squeezes. "We are the lucky ones, son. You have brought us so much joy and happiness. We are so happy to see you moving forward, trying to live your life to its fullest. It's been hard for us to watch you hold back; punish yourself, as you said. You deserve happiness, Edward. Be happy. That's what we want for you. A full, happy, life."

I hug him, we do the man hug, but we're both teary.

When the photo album is finally closed they go into the kitchen to work on dinner and I look for Bella. I find her lounging in the afternoon sun on the patio, the dogs laying in the shade nearby. I stop a distance away and take her in. Her sunglasses are on, but I can tell her eyes are shut behind them. Her exposed arms and legs are toned and tan. She has on cut off jean shorts and a tank top. She has her bikini on underneath, because I can see the bow from the strap tied behind her neck. She's beautiful. Her skin, so smooth. I love touching her. My stomach flutters; the feeling urges me closer to her. I sit on the edge of her lounge chair.

She turns towards me and opens her eyes, she smiles, just for me. Her hand reaches out and I take it willingly, "How did it go?"

"Good. It wasn't easy, but not as hard as I thought it would be." I bring her hand to my lips and kiss the back. "Let's take the dogs for a walk before dinner."

We walk down the beach together. I hold her hand the whole time. We talk, laugh, and throw balls for the dogs. I don't worry about running into Tanya. I don't worry about anything except for this moment, with Bella.

**A/N**

**Some of you were right about what was in the box. Isn't he just the cutest with his Teddy?**

**I love hearing what you want from these two before the story is over. It helps me guide the last few chapters.**

**Thanks so much for reading and supporting me through this :)**


	50. Chapter 50

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Banner by AnaFluttersby**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward/Preciousward/Insecureward**

**or as someone have called him "Adorably Virginal"**

**and Patientella**

**Chapter 49**  
**BPOV**

Edward amazes me. His capacity to love is endless. I didn't expect miracles when I ambushed him with the photos a few days ago. To be honest, the outcome is more than I had hoped for.

He immediately wanted to speak to his parents. He asked for the box. He went through the box, all in one day. It was emotionally draining for me and I was just being supportive. He must have been dead on his feet, but he didn't show it.

All he showed was kindness and love. He has so much love to give. I can't believe I'm the one he is choosing to give that love to.

Sunday dinner was different. He went through one of the photo albums with his parents. I saw them hugging and crying. But when Edward came to find me afterwards, he was stronger for it. I could tell.

Dinner with everyone was the same as always. We laughed, joked, shared antidotes. Alice, Jasper, Rose and Emmett had no idea what we had been through over the last few days.

After dinner, Edward shared his album with them. I sat across the room from them, once again in awe of this man. There was no mention of his injuries, but the accident was brought up. They gave him their full attention, I would expect nothing less from these kind people I've come to know and love. We went out onto the patio to see the sunset. A visibly shaken Alice hung back with Edward. I don't know what was said between them, but they joined us on the patio arm in arm, both of their eyes red rimmed, but both of them smiling. I'm no therapist, but I could see healing happening right before my eyes.

After giving Alice a kiss on the cheek, he came over to me, hugging me from behind, giving me a kiss on the neck. I turned my head seeking his lips, which he gave me freely. When we ended our kiss we were met with four pairs of eyes staring at us and four giant smiles. The jig was up. We were officially a couple now, everyone knew. Edward bashfully buried his face in my hair and groaned from the attention, causing everyone to laugh. Everything was how it should be.

**~MEB~**

The new week brought us to our appointments with Maggie. Neither of us had talked to her since I confronted Edward with the photos. Edward went in first, but he seems confident, not nervous. I'm nervous, as good as he has been, I still worry about him closing up again. I need Maggie to reassure me.

When Edward exits her office, he's smiling, but I can tell something is on his mind. Hopefully he will share what he's thinking with me later.

I enter Maggie's office and she greets me with the motherly kindness I'm accustomed too. However, there is something different in her eyes.

"Edward talked to me about what has gone on since you've been back from your dads. With Edward's permission, I'd like to hear your version of it," she prods. I take her through our week and all the progress Edward has made. When I finish she's smiling bigger than I've ever seen her smile.

"What?"

"This went better than expected, wouldn't you say, Bella?"

"It has, I still worry about him reverting or closing up again. Should I be?"

She shakes her head. "I think he's gotten past a major block in his progress. He may regress a little from time to time, but not back to where he was. The fact that he faced his family and went through the box of his childhood memories is very big."

"I thought so, too. He is really an incredible person. I know healing like this is an ongoing project. I'm here for him the whole way."

She's smiling again. "You're lucky to have each other. You love and support each other in such a healthy way." She pauses. "Have you made any decisions about your living situation? Did your dad pressure you like you thought he would?"

"It was great seeing him and being back where I grew up, but that's not my home anymore." I look down at my fidgeting hands. "How pathetic do I sound if I say Edward is my home?" I look up to her, not knowing what she's going to say to my confession.

She's quiet for a minute, deep in thought, which makes me nervous. "Bella, I think I know you well enough to say this. You are an independent woman and have been for many years. You've lost some of that independence when you met Edward. It was due to circumstances beyond your control, but it has happened nonetheless. You are a smart, intuitive person. Be careful to not lose yourself. When we enter into relationships our lives become intertwined. You and Edward have something special, but what attracted you to each other is who you were when you met. Many couples lose who they were before they began their relationship and then can't see or remember what attracted them to each other. I think if you're aware of this, you'll be just fine. There is nothing wrong with loving someone and wanting them to be 'your home.'"

"Thanks Maggie, I will definitely keep that in mind as we move forward. I do love my job. I love traveling and writing. I won't be traveling for a while, but I do have a deadline to meet in a couple of months. I have no plans to give that up." I smile.

**~MEB~**

"I'm going to interview Seth's sister, Leah, to manage the rescue." Edward says during dinner.

"Really? The rescue looks huge in the plans you showed me. What are you planning to do?"

"Ideally, I'd like to expand it to include a no/low cost pet clinic, and I'd like to accept more exotic animals, native to the area, but not just domesticated animals."

"What do you mean?"

"Birds native to the area that need rehabilitation or are not fit to be released into the wild again. Maybe even some aquatic animals; sea lions, seals, I think dolphins might be a little out of my league," he laughs.

"That's... um... huge," I say surprised by his plans. "I mean, a great idea, but a big undertaking."

"I know. Leah is a veterinary student. She wants to specialize in exotic animals, but wants to stay in the area near her family. She seems perfect for what I have planned and will be done with her schooling around the time the renovations to the rescue would be completed."

"You've given this a lot of thought."

"I have. I would like you to interview her with me."

"Me, why?"

He shrugs shyly. "I want you to be part of this."

"What do you mean?"

"If we like Leah, she will be around here a lot. I will be working closely with her. I was thinking she could take this apartment when the house is ready. It would be great to have the vet on site."

I nod. But don't know what to say. If she has the apartment, where does that leave us? Me?

He reaches across the table and takes my hand. "Bella, I want you to be involved in this, all of this," he motions around the room with his other hand. "I want you in my life now and in the future. These changes will affect both of us. I want your input." He takes a deep breath before he continues. "I want you to help me design the house, our home" he stares at our hands when he says it.

"Really?" I gasp.

He nods, meeting my stare. "I want you to live there with me. I want it to be ours. I don't want you to buy a house or move out." I don't know what to say, so he continues. "I've never pictured myself married or with children, and I have no idea how you feel about either of those things. It's so foreign for me to even think about. What I do know is I want you. In any way you want me; friends, lovers, partners, maybe even as a husband." He pauses before continuing. "But no pressure, I mean, if this is not what you want... I will understand... I just..." his voice trails off when I stand up from my chair.

With our hands still together I wordlessly pull him up from the table and lead us to the bedroom. His brows burrow in confusion when I push him back on the bed. I stand there for a second, admiring the beautiful, concerned man lying on the bed, watching me expectantly.

I crawl up his body and sit on his legs; his eyes never leave mine as he watches me.

"You've given me a lot to think about," I start. "Designing a house together is a major thing. In fact, just financially speaking, I have to reinvest the money from the sale of my house or I will owe an outrageous amount of money to the IRS."

He nods in understanding. "Invest in the house, or the rescue."

"Partners?"

"Yes, partners. I've already spoken to Jasper about it. We would do it all legally, mainly to protect you in the event that you want out. I wouldn't want you to lose any of your money." He pauses again. "Bella, I want you in my future. You are my future. You can sit down with Jasper and he can show you your options. Or get your own attorney or financial advisor, if you think working with mine is a conflict of interest."

I put my finger on his lips to hush him. "Edward, I don't think you would cheat me. If anything you'd cheat yourself. I'll talk to Jasper. Look at the options."

"So, no more looking for a house?" He asks in a hopeful voice.

"No more house hunting," I agree.

He pulls me down on top of him with me still straddling his thighs.

"I love you, Bella," he breaths into my mouth as he kisses me sweetly.

"I love you too, baby. So much."

We kiss for a few minutes, but it stays chaste. Edward pulls away first. His brow furrowed in thought.

He wordlessly moves me off of his lap and sets me next to him on the bed. He sits on the side of the bed, his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.

I rub circles on his back, while I give him a minute. Right when I'm about to ask him what is bothering him he stands and removes his shorts, leaving him in his boxer briefs. He is tense and avoids eye contact, but sits back down on the bed.

He lies back on the bed, finally meeting my gaze. Without breaking our stare he reaches down and pulls the fabric up on the legs of his briefs.

I give him an encouraging smile before I move my eyes to his legs. His scars now exposed. I make sure to keep my expression benign, but I am shocked at the extent of his injuries. He has a four inch wide burn that extends across both of his thighs. In addition, the burn is concave. Scars from the surgery run down the center of each thigh, and that's just the front of his legs.

I lift my hand to touch him, but stop. What if he doesn't want me to touch his scars? He must see my hesitations because his hand takes mine and moves it towards his legs.

I trace the burns scars with the tips of my fingers. The skin is soft, but rough at the same time. The scars themselves are bad enough, but I know what they represent; the loss, the guilt, the physical pain. Without thinking I dip my head down and place reverent kisses on his ravaged legs.

I raise my head and look into his eyes. There are tears running down the sides of his face as he watches me.

I want to be closer to him, so I lie next to him and pull him towards me. He lays his head on my chest, I stroke his hair.

In a quiet voice I say, "I love you, Edward. You are so strong. You've been through so much and you are more beautiful to me now than ever before."

He sniffles, my shirt serving as a giant tissue. We lay like that for a while. I continue telling him how special he is. I will say it until he knows it, feels it.

When he gets himself under control, he hugs me tightly and drifts off to sleep on my chest. I can't sleep, he's given me so much to think about and look forward to. The thought of that makes me smile.

**A/N**

**So that was big. How do you feel about what Maggie said to Bella? Should Bella venture into a partnership with Edward?**

**I apologize for not responding to reviews this chapter. I ran into some creative differences within my head about the end of this story. I think I have it worked out now. I just need the time to sit down and write it.**

**I would still love to hear your ideas about these two! Thanks for reading and keeping me motivated :)**

**PS We may be needing to get rid of one of his nicknames soon!**


	51. Chapter 51

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Banner by AnaFluttersby**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/Virginward/Beachward/Preciousward/Insecureward**

**or as someone have called him "Adorably Virginal"**

**and Patientella**

**Chapter 50**

**EPOV**

I told her. I told her about the plans for the rescue, Leah, that I want her in my future and most significantly, I showed her my scars. Showing them to her was probably the hardest thing I've done. I've learned to despise them. Every time I've looked at them over the years they've been a reminder of my failure, my loss. The negative self-talk associated with just the mere sight of them has to be reversed, replaced. If I'm to have a lasting relationship with Bella, I have to overcome this. She deserves that from me.

She doesn't disappoint with any of it. She agrees to talk to Jasper about investing, she's open to the changes and she is amazing when I bare myself to her. I really had no expectation, but she surpasses them anyway.

She makes me feel loved, for who I am, for what I've been. She accepts me, faults and all. I'm one lucky bastard. It makes me want her even more. It makes me want to be worthy of her, every day. I have some work to do to be able to claim that, but I know I'm going in the right direction.

She brings me to tears. I didn't know I was such an emotional person. Everything just seems hyper sensitive right now, my emotions especially.

Her presence, her comfort, means everything to me.

When I wake, my head is still on her chest. My tear stained face burrowed into her as much as it possibly can be. This has to be uncomfortable for her, but she doesn't show it. I can feel her fingers running gently through my hair.

I lift my head to look at her. "Sorry for falling asleep on you and...everything."

She shakes her head before speaking. "Don't apologize...ever. You feel it, you do it, say it. Never sensor yourself with me, or try to cover your emotions. I am your safe place. Don't ever forget that," she says with conviction. It makes me smile.

"Shower with me?" I ask.

She raises her brows, knowing that this is big for me. There is no dimmer on the lights in the bathroom, and they aren't very flattering.

"Of course," she smiles, giving me a quick kiss and moves to get up from the bed.

I forcefully pull her down on top of me making her squeal in surprise. I hug her tightly and kiss her soundly. "Thank you," I murmur against her warm lips. "For everything."

I follow her swaying ass into the bathroom. She strips, shyly, but without breaking eye contact with me. She's not trying to be seductive or sexy, which makes her all the more appealing. My cock twitches, although the nervousness about being naked takes precedence and keeps it in control.

She turns on the shower, tests the water and disappears behind the glass allowing me some time to gather my courage to join her... naked. I've never been naked with anyone, ever.

I curse the bright lighting of the bathroom as I remove my shirt, my hands hovering over the waistband of my briefs. I know it's just Bella, but just Bella has so many meanings to it. It's just her because I trust her. It's just her because she's... everything. I tell myself, 'don't be a coward,' before quickly ridding myself of my boxers and stepping into the shower.

I'm grateful her back is turned and her eyes closed as the water cascades down her body. God, she's perfect. My nervousness briefly forgotten, I have to touch her. I press my dry body to the back of her wet, warm one. My hands roam her sides and my mouth seeks the soft skin of her neck and shoulders. She moans and melts into me. Turning slightly, her fingers thread through my hair and bring my mouth to hers. The second our mouths open and tongues touch, my hands venture to her perky tits, her nipples taut and ready to be touched. Her sounds and the feel of her body against mine, makes me hard. The evidence pressed and growing between our bodies. I know she feels it; her wiggling ass gives her away. My moans add to hers.

I want her so badly, but I need to touch her more. My hand ventures down past her soft, but flat stomach. She's slick. "Baby, you're so wet."

"Only for you," she rasps, her voice thick with need.

I resist the urge to grind against her as I pleasure her with my hands. It doesn't take long before her body is trembling and she's pulsing around my fingers. I hold her close to me as she rides out her orgasm. My cock weeps against her ass.

"What about you?" She asks reaching behind her and grasping me, stroking a few times. I buck into her hand. It feels so good.

"I...we...um...I want you," I stumble over my words, from overwhelming need and nervousness.

She turns in my arms, her hand never leaving my cock. She strokes me a few more times. I'm close.

"You better stop, or it's gonna be over, soon," I grunt as she gives me one last fast, firm stroke. I slump against her when her hand leaves my hardness.

She kisses up my chest and neck, leaving a quick kiss on my lips. When she steps out of the shower, the blast of cold air wakes me from my lustful fog. She wraps herself in a towel and hands me one before leaving the bathroom. I dry my hair with a towel and then wrap it around my waist, my arousal impossible to hide. I smile remembering another time I was in a towel and in this condition with her.

She's a sight to behold, lying on my bed, naked and beautiful. Her skin rosey and dewy from the shower. Her cheeks flushed from her pleasure. Her legs slightly parted, giving away how wet and ready she is for me. I palm my cock through the towel to relieve the mounting pressure. She licks her lips as she watches me touch myself. She's going to be the death of me, and I can't think of a better way to go.

The look of love and need on her face gives me the courage to drop the towel. Her eyes travel to my now exposed area. In response she licks her lips again and smiles, seemingly not giving my scars a second thought. All I can think is how much I want her. How much I want to claim her, be inside of her.

Seeing my hesitation, she beckons me with her finger and opens her arms for me. I go willingly, until I'm hovering above her. Our eyes locked in understanding.

"I want you, Edward, so badly. I want you moving inside me, cuming inside me," she says before our lips meet. Our tongues languidly touch, her hands roam my back. I hesitate to put any weight on her, she must sense this because she grabs my ass and pulls me firmly down on her. My cock at her entrance. With my elbows on the bed beside her ears, I kiss her with all I have. First her mouth and then her neck, shoulders, chest, breasts, and nipples. The sounds she makes when I lavish them is almost my undoing. That along with her writhing body against mine.

I search her eyes one last time, "Are you sure?" I ask.

"I've never been more sure about anything."

"Tell me if I need to do anything differently, better. Tell me what I can do to make it better for you, you know..." She silences me with a kiss.

She pulls back, smiling. "Edward, it's us, you and me. Since when has that not been enough? Perfect? I just want you."

I smile. She's right. We are perfect together.

Without any more hesitation I slowly push inside her. Her name and moans slip from my lips. It's like nothing I've ever felt; warm, smooth, wet, tight... home. Sheathed in her fully, I stop, close my eyes, willing my orgasm to stay at bay, yet savoring every second of this heaven.

When I open them, I'm met with the loving gaze of the most beautiful, amazing woman I've ever met. She smiles encouragingly, before pulling me down to her mouth. Our kiss is so sweet, tender. I feel the sting of tears in my eyes.

However, with one shift of her hips and I change from emotional to carnal. The need to move, to claim, stronger than anything else. I try to start slow, thrusting deep and thorough, feeling her from within. She meets me thrust for thrust, her small body taking mine and giving back just as much. Her legs wrap around my hips, slightly changing the angle.

"Oh, god, Bella. You feel so good, so amazing. I don't want it to end, but I can't stop. Too good," I chant that and other things like that.

"Don't stop," she says. "Don't ever stop."

Her words and the feeling of being inside her makes me increase my pace, both in speed and intensity. I push harder, deeper. I'm harder, she's tighter. My orgasm quickly builds.

"Oh, baby, right there," she moans. I can tell she's close to her bliss, so I try to do what she likes, but I like it too, too much.

"I'm close. I need to cum," I gasp. Holding off my orgasm as long as I can.

"Edward," she moans, clamping down on me so tightly I see spots. I'm gone, pumping into her erratically. My cum streaming into her with each thrust. Her pulsing walls pulling my orgasm out of me.

"Beeeelllllaaaaa," is all I say. Spent, I slump onto her, without crushing her under my weight.

"I love you, Edward," she whispers. "That was perfect. You are perfect. We are perfect."

I nod, still trying to gain my composure. "There is no one else I've ever wanted to do that with, and never will." I look her in the eyes, trying to convey what I'm confessing to her. "You are my one and only, Bella. I love you so much."

She smiles, a tear slips from her eye. "I know baby. Thank you for choosing me." She says, no longer the only one in tears.

**A/N**

**POP! There you go... some nicknames no longer apply.**

**Hope I did it justice :)**

**Thanks for reading and reviewing. Crazy weekend, no time to myself at all, to write or respond to reviews. But I love them, please keep em coming.**

**Love you guys!**

**No teaser today, no time. Possible picture teaser on fb later in the week.**


	52. Chapter 52

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Banner by AnaFluttersby**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/not a virgin anymore/Beachward/Preciousward/Insecureward/Sweetward**

**and Patientella**

**Chapter 51**  
**BPOV**

I knew sex with Edward would be good, but it's far better than I ever expected. He's such a pleaser. He wants to pleasure me before himself, even his first time. I knew he was a virgin, though we never discussed it. He alluded to it many times. I haven't taken that lightly. I've tried to make every one of his firsts special, positive, memorable. Last night was no different. I just hope he knows how special it was for me too, to be his first, his only. It's an incredible feeling.

I wake before the sun has risen completely. It's different than most mornings because I'm spooning naked with a very naked Edward. Evidence of his nakedness poking me in the ass. Remembering last night makes me smile. My mind goes to all the places I want to have sex with him and in what position. Like now, the possibilities are endless. I shift my ass closer to him, rubbing against his hard on.

"Oh, sorry," he mumbles moving farther away from me.

No, no, no. This is not how the morning after is going to go.

I turn to face him and snuggle in closer to him, throwing my leg over his hip, and pulling him closer to me. "No way. You can never apologize for this," I say gripping and stroking his firm cock.

"I didn't want to assume, or force myself on you. I mean, it's not even light out yet," he defends.

I rub his cock on my wet center. "This is mine now. As I am yours. I want you anytime, anywhere. Understand? We have some catching up to do." I push myself up until I'm straddling his legs, our eyes locked, his cock standing straight up against my stomach. "I will always want you," I say, slowly stroking him using my natural lubrication.

He swallows, nodding his head.

I lift up and lower myself on him very slowly. He groans and his eyes flutter closed when he is fully inside of me. I give him some time before I rock back and forth. His eyes open, looking to where we're connected.

"You like that, baby?" I ask.

He nods, his eyes not leaving where our bodies meet. I rise up until he is almost fully out and lower down again. I do this slow and deep. His groans grow louder with each pass.

His hands find my breasts, he tweaks my nipples, he appraises my exposed body. "You are so beautiful," he says, our eyes meeting.

"You feel so good inside me."

"You have no idea how incredible this is," he says with awe.

I move slowly, changing angles a few times, trying to find what he likes. He's appreciates all of it, but I find a position that makes him chant my name.

"Is this good?" I ask, already knowing the answer.

"Yes, good, so good," he gasps. He breathing fast and shallow.

"I want you to cum, too," he says as his thumb finds my clit and starts rubbing frantically. Apparently it's me that has to catch up to him. Little does he know, the feel of him, watching him, pleasing him, I'm almost there with him.

"Oh, that's... um, right there," I encourage him. My body coils, that tingling sensation starting to course through my body. My pace riding him increases, my orgasm crashes over me in waves of pleasure.

"Ahh, Edward," I cry.

"Oh god, Bella, I can feel you cum, so tight," he says as he explodes inside me.

I lay on his chest, it's rising and falling as quickly as mine is. The only sounds in the room are our heavy breathing.

When we are breathing more normally, his hands rub circles on my back.

"I like that, watching you. Can we do that again?"

I giggle, making his softened cock slip from my body. We both groan at the loss. "Anytime, anywhere. Like I said we've got some catching up to do."

"Anywhere?" He questions. I can almost hear the wheels turning in his head.

**~MEB~**

In the days following his reveal and sex, we make love a lot. He still hesitates to initiate, but once he gets my okay, he becomes more confident. We've tried the sofa, the back of the sofa, the kitchen counter, the front door, don't judge, we'd been apart all day and that's as far as we got when we got home, the shower, and the treadmill. Now that was tricky. I will never look at that piece of exercise equipment the same ever again.

I take him and Buddy to see Angela, Booboo too, of course. She immediately falls in love with Edward. Who wouldn't? She invites us over for dinner soon. I get a glimpse of Jacob looking out his window when Edward and I are leaving. I don't look back, especially since the sold sign went up on my house.

One Saturday we do a guys and girls day. The girls go to the spa, shop, hang out at Rose and Emmett's. The guys work out, go surfing and I don't know what else. Well, I find what else when I come home and Edward has bought me a desk and made a workspace for me across from his desk. He knows I have a submission deadline for my book coming up. He is very supportive, but very distracting. It's so thoughtful, so I thank him on the top of my new desk. Hence the distraction.

The box of his childhood belongings is long gone. The photo albums are on the shelves with the other photo albums, family photos are framed and on the wall, Teddy is on the dresser in our room, yes, our room. He gave me half of the closet and drawer space. Softy is in his underwear drawer. He didn't tell me that, but I saw it one day when getting a pair of his boxers to wear. I like wearing his underwear. He doesn't like wearing my panties, yes, he tried them on.

One night when I was cooking dinner he went through the shoe box. There were loose photos, a lock of his hair, his baptismal certificate, a few love notes his parents had written to each other, and his parents' marriage certificate. He acted a little strange about the box and put it high up on the shelf in the closet. Otherwise, he acts normal so I try not to read too much into it.

We continue seeing Maggie, but we're down to twice a month now. Edward has come so far, he can talk about the accident, his parents, even his horrible aunt and uncle, without hesitation.

We talk about the future, our future. I know he thinks about getting married someday and kids aren't off the table. He knows I want marriage and kids, what he doesn't know is that he's the only one I want those things with, or even thought it was possible with. But mainly we talk about plans, plans for the rescue, and we plan the house... together. Everything together.

We hire Leah and she's a god send. She's organized, loves animals, has vision. She gets what Edward wants to do and she's in. She's helping with the plans for the vet clinic. She will be moving into the apartment as soon as we move into the new house.

One evening in mid-September my dad calls. He wants to come for a visit. I don't know what to do, because we don't have room for him at the apartment. He could stay at a hotel, but that seems cold, unless I stay at the hotel too. When Edward gets home from shopping he finds me sitting on the sofa, deep in thought.

"What's up, babe?" He asks with concern.

"My dad called. He wants to come to visit for my birthday. It's weird because he hates California, but is very eager to come," I answer.

"Oh, that's great!" Edward says far too cheery. What guy wants to meet his girlfriend's cop father? I give him a hard stare.

"What?" He asks shrugging. "What's the big deal? He wants to see his daughter." He leaves the room to put away the groceries.

"I didn't know what to tell him. We don't have anywhere for him to stay."

"We can stay at my parents'. They said it's fine, I already as..." His voice drifts off.

Busted. I wait, arms crossed over my chest, foot tapping, until he drags himself into the living room, his head down.

"What did you do, Edward?"

"Um, I might have called him and invited him here for your birthday."

"Might have?"

"I did, definitely did," he says finally meeting my eyes. "I wanted to surprise you. And I wanted to meet your dad. Two birds, one stone," he shrugs.

"He hates California. He's going to try to persuade me to leave you know?"

"Are you going to leave?"

"No. But he'll try to get me to, anyway," I pout.

Edward comes up and hugs my unresponsive body. "Come on, babe. It'll be okay. He'll see what you have here, meet me. He'll understand why you're staying."

I can't stay angry because he's too cute and sweet for his own good. "Ask me next time. I don't like surprises or being ambushed," I scold smacking his chest.

"But, you love me." He smiles.

"That I do."

He bends down and kisses me, making me forget what it was we were even talking about. In fact he keeps me occupied and without thought for a few hours that day.

**A/N**

**More and more and more sex! I don't think they'll be stopping anytime soon :)**

**Looks like we're going to meet Charlie...**

**Only two more regular chapters. I will add an epi if you want.**

**I'm having a 'procedure' today and will be stuck at home when I get back from the hospital. I would love to hear what you are thinking about these two, or Charlie.**

******Thanks again for reading. :) Oh, please let me know where you heard about my story. I got a lot of alerts this week so someone rec'd my story and I'd love to thank them.**


	53. Chapter 53

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Banner by AnaFluttersby**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/not a virgin anymore/Beachward/Preciousward/Insecureward/Sweetward**

**and Patientella**

**52**  
**EPOV**

Bella is so on edge about her dad coming to visit. I'm starting to regret my idea to invite him. I guess I could have flown to Seattle and met him without her, but I thought he would accept me/us more if he saw the life I was building for Bella.

"Bella, everything is fine. My parents had the guest room cleaned. We bought some of your dad's favorite beer to have for him. What else do we need?" I joke while lying back on the bed, my hands behind my head.

She stops pacing and glares at me, then continues pacing. "You don't understand. I don't want this visit to be about his approval or about me trying to justify my life, or yours."

"Come here, baby," I say opening my arms to her. She comes slowly and falls into my embrace. "I know you care about what your dad thinks, but is it going to change us? This?"

She shakes her head against my chest.

"Then just try to relax and enjoy his visit. We'll be staying at my parents', so there will be plenty of distractions. Everyone will be there for Sunday dinner to celebrate your birthday."

She nods. "I love you. Sorry I'm so crazy about this. I just... my dad has never met a guy, a boyfriend of mine before."

"I love you too. And just so you know, I like that I'm the first and only." I hug her closer and kiss her head.

**~MEB~**

Upon meeting Charlie Swan, I find him incredibly intimidating. His dark, watchful eyes and stoic demeanor are unnerving. Now I'm nervous and Bella is chatting at him like I've never heard her talk before. If I wasn't so stressed I'd be laughing at her word vomit. We're quite the pair.

The drive from the airport to my parents' is excruciatingly tense. I try to focus on the road as a distraction. I need the dogs or my parents as a buffer.

"Fancy." Charlie Swan mutters as we enter the gated community my parents live in.

I hear Bella sigh when I turn off the car in the driveway. I take a deep breath before exiting the car to open the door for Bella. I give her hand a squeeze when I help her out, she gives me an encouraging smile. I feel like a lamb going to slaughter. At least we're on my turf, kind of.

"So nice to meet you, Charlie," my mom greets him with a genuine smile and big hug, which only my mom can get away with. She glances at me over his shoulder, sensing my tension. "Let me show you to your room," she says before leading him away.

"Is it just me, or is he...mad?" I quietly ask Bella.

"He's not angry. It just takes him a while to warm up to people. It'll be fine," she says like she's trying to convince herself.

"We got some of the beer you like, Dad," Bella says once he's settled on the patio with my parents. "I'll get you one."

He nods, "Well, at least California has something I like." I don't know what to say to that, so I keep quiet.

When she returns with the beer, Buddy and Booboo are jumping all over Charlie, like he's a new toy.

"Down, boys," I scold them.

Charlie laughs. "They're very excitable." He pats their heads before reaching for the beer. The boys eventually settled down at his feet. Who knew the dogs would be the welcomed buffer.

After that, the conversation flows a little more freely. Charlie talks a little about his job and Mom and Dad talk about theirs. Bella encourages me to talk about the rescue and she shows her dad some of my photos which are hanging on the walls of the house. I encourage her to tell him about her upcoming book.

We take him for a walk on the sand. He asks about the fishing in the area, which is non-existent unless you go out on a boat.

Bella walks him to his room that night, she's gone longer than I expect. When she finally joins me in my room, she's quiet and distant. I just hold her and tell her how much I love her as we drift off to sleep.

I wake early the next morning to go surfing. The warm weather is fading and I want to take advantage of staying right on the beach.

When I come back from surfing, Charlie is sitting on the deck, the dogs once again at his feet.

"Looks like fun," Charlie says before I have a chance to say good morning.

"Morning, Mr. Swan, sir. Ya, the water is nice."

"Charlie," he pauses. "You can call me Charlie."

"Charlie. Would you like some coffee? It's programed to be ready at seven am."

He nods and follows me into the kitchen. I'm pouring the coffee when he clears his throat. "Look, Edward, um... Bella is my only daughter. I hate that she's moved so far away from me, near one of the most crime ridden areas in the US. I hate the danger she's been in, but I know that's not your fault. James was a problem for her for years." He shakes his head. "I should have done more about him back when I could have." He pauses again. "You seem like a good guy, from a good family. I see how much you care for her. Just give me some time. I've been able to ignore the fact that Bella's been shacking up with you. I can't avoid it, anymore, since it's right under my nose."

I nod. "I understand, Charlie. Just know I would never do anything to intentionally hurt Bella. I love her very much. We mean no disrespect with our living arrangements. But it's what both of us want."

My parents join us not long after. I help with breakfast and we're all eating under the umbrella on the deck when a freshly showered Bella joins us. We're all laughing because Buddy and Booboo are chasing each other's tails. They do it all the time; we're just used to it. Charlie, however, finds it hilarious. His laugh gets us all going. Bella seems genuinely surprised and pleased by the scene she walks into.

We give Charlie a tour of the property, the rescue and we show him the house plans. Without being boastful I try to convey to him the stability, forethought and safety with which I've entered into this venture with Bella.

He's a man of few words, but he seems impressed by what we show him. Watching Bella describe the house in detail gives me a warm fuzzy feeling inside.

When Charlie leaves on Monday, I feel like I've gotten to know him pretty well. We had a few man to man talks during his stay. I think we now have a mutual understanding. The upside to seeing him go is alone time with Bella. It's been torture being near her, sleeping with her, but not being able to touch her. We felt it was only right to abstain, especially given he voiced his displeasure of us living together. That, and one thought of gun-wielding Charlie Swan, and my dick shrivels and hides.

**~MEB~**

On the morning of Bella's birthday, I go way out of my comfort zone and take the initiative to wake her in a very special way. Thankfully she's wearing as much clothing as she was when she was born... nothing. Perfect.

First I give her nipples attention, with the slightest, almost imperceptible touch. Still asleep, she moans in response which spurs my advances. My fingers find their way to her heated, moist center. Once again I use the lightest of touches, as to not wake her quite yet. She squirms, rising slightly off the bed, seeking friction.

My mouth trails gentle kisses to where my hand is, my mouth taking over in that area. I start off with slow, light licks. My hands go back to her nipples, tweaking, and rolling them between my fingers.

I'm watching her face closely, she has yet to open her eyes, but her body is alert enough to seemingly be enjoying my ministrations. Her sounds so uninhibited encourage my naked length to harden against the mattress as I lay between her legs, licking and sucking her to her pleasure.

She moans, her breathing heavy, her body writhing. When I slide my fingers inside her, she tenses. My fingers move in and out, my lips latch onto her swollen clit, my other hand gives her breasts attention. Within seconds she's moaning my name and clamping down tightly around my fingers.  
My cock so hard and needy against the mattress, weeps for attention. I want to be inside her, feel her. I can't get enough of her and I don't think I ever will.

When I think I can't wait any longer, she's pulling me up on top of her. "Come here," she says, her voice husky with sleep.

I go eagerly. When I slip inside her, I manage to moan out, "Happy Birthday, baby."

"Happy it is," she smiles, finally opening her bright eyes. "This is already the best birthday I've ever had and I'm barely awake."

"It's about to get even better," I comment before pulling all the way out and plunging back into her.

"Oh, god," she pants.

I bring her to orgasm before I burst inside her, unable to hold it any longer. It's just too good. She's just too good.

"I love you, Bella," I breathe, my sated body resting on top of hers.

"I love you. Thank you. That was quite a wake-up call," she giggles.

"Just for you," I smile while raising my head to look at her lovely face.

"Let's take the boys and go to the dog beach at sunset tonight for your birthday," I suggest.

"I have some running around to do, but I'll pick you up at six pm. Bring a jacket, it may get cold," I suggest after lazing in bed for a while, making her breakfast and thoroughly cleaning each other in the shower.

I make all the preparations and am at the door at six pm sharp. Flowers in hand.

She answers the door in a pretty sundress, her hair up in a loose pony tail. A light sweater in her hand. "You look beautiful, baby," I say giving her shiny lips a kiss. "Happy Birthday."

"Thank you," she answers shyly.

After a leisurely drive, we find a place to park and walk down to the sand. We play with the dogs for a few minutes at the water's edge. When they seem tired I pull her into a hug, her facing the cliffs behind us. I hear her gasp and push away from me.

"Did you? Is that?"

I nod. "Happy Birthday, Bella." I smile, leading her to a picnic with wine, cheese, bread and fruit, set up near the cliffs. The large blanket on the sand is flanked by lanterns.

She's stunned, surprised. "How did you?"

"Don't you worry yourself about it. I had some help, and when we leave tonight, that help will clean all of this up for us."

She smiles and kisses my cheek. "This is so sweet."

We sip the wine, watching the golden sun disappear over the Pacific Ocean. I take as many photos of Bella as she will allow me to, before we indulge in the food I had prepared for us.

"This is so good. I still don't know how you did all of this," she scolds.

I laugh. "I'm just glad I could surprise you. I wanted to make it special for you. A restaurant seemed too generic for you, for us. This is where we met. Where it all started." I think this is the right time, so I hand her her gift.

"Edward, you didn't need to..."

"Don't even say it. I wanted to."

She opens the card, her eyes glassy when she looks up from reading what I wrote.

"I mean every word, Bella. You are the best thing that has ever happened to me. The second I laid eyes on you, I knew you were different, special. You mean everything to me." I kiss her deeply, tasting the wine on her lips. We break apart so she can open the gift.

"Oh, Edward. It's beautiful," she says holding up the Tiffany bracelet.

"I tried to find a charm for everything you mean to me, but the bracelet was too small. So I settled for the most important ones. A camera for the first day we met, a dog for Buddy and Booboo, a seashell because the beach reminds me of you, a surfboard for the day I taught you to surf, a book for your upcoming creation, a heart because you have mine, and a house for our future together."

She's smiling, touching each charm with care. "Help me put it on." Once it's secure, she holds up her wrist admiring the bracelet. "I love it, Edward. It's perfect. So special, like you," she beams at me.

"Are you ready to go home?" I ask when it begins to get chilly. "I have dessert at home, and I have a special plate I want to eat from."

She raises her eyebrows, before grabbing my hand and practically dragging me to the car.

**A/N**

**What do you think of Charlie? Her birthday?**

**One more to go. It comes to an end on Friday. I'm gonna be sad.**

**Some of you want an epi. We will see...**

**Thanks for the love and well wishes. I'm doing good :)**

**Thank you to cutestkidsmom for rec'ing my story~ please go and check out her stuff. I love Because Of A Boy!**


	54. Chapter 54

**Beta'd by cejsmom and preread by Twi-mom12292005**

**Banner by AnaFluttersby**

**Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!**

**You all know who owns these characters. No copyright infringement intended.**

**Dogward/Brokenward/not a virgin anymore/Beachward/Preciousward/Insecureward/Sweetward**

**and Patientella**

**Chapter 53**  
**BPOV **

I show my dad to his room at the end of the night. "Where are you sleeping, Bells?"

I hesitate to answer him truthfully and for a split second I contemplate sleeping on the sofa. I shake off those thoughts. "I'm staying in Edward's room."

He gives me a disapproving look.

"Look, Dad, I know this is... different. But please try. I love Edward. He is important to me. I want to be with him. We have a life together. I need you to accept that."

He's quiet for a minute before responding. My heart is pounding when he finally speaks. "I know. This is different, but it's not easy for me. You've never had me meet one of your boyfriends and then this," he says waving his arms around. "I guess I'm playing the over-protective, no one is good enough for my daughter, Dad card." He shrugs. "I'll try better tomorrow." He kisses me on the head, goes into his room and closes the door. Leaving me standing in the hallway questioning what just happened.

I didn't even think that the lifestyle of Edward's family would bother him, but apparently it does. He said he'd try tomorrow. I go to sleep, in Edward's room, in his arms, holding onto hope that tomorrow will go smoother.

I wake alone. Resisting the urge to find Edward and save him from my dad, I jump in the shower instead. When I'm dressed I find everyone having breakfast on the patio, laughing. Buddy and Booboo are doing something, that they always do, but my dad finds it extremely amusing. I join in the laughing, so relieved that the thick tension from the day before seems to have dissipated.

We give my dad a tour of the rescue and property. Edward does most of the talking and I interject now and then. I can tell Edward is trying to prove to my dad that I am safe and cared for. I let him, knowing it's kind of a guy thing. Plus I know my dad will appreciate it, whether he agrees or not is a totally different matter.

When the tour is over we pull out the plans for the house. Victoria's building is long gone and the plans are almost finalized. Next week they will be staking the lot and excavating.

I'm unable to hide the excitement in my voice when I talk about the house. Dad gives me a genuine smile when I mention the extra bedrooms. Weird.

The family dinner for my birthday is fun! My dad is captivated by Alice from the minute he meets her, while he and Emmett become fast friends, talking baseball and beer. I get to sit back and enjoy my dad meeting and fitting in with my friends. I wonder if he would ever consider moving here when he retires. I scoff at the idea. Deep down my dad still hates California.

Taking dad to the airport on Monday is bittersweet. I loved seeing him, but I miss our apartment, our little bubble. And we haven't had sex in four days. That is far too long. There are tears in my eyes when I say goodbye to him. The interaction between him and Edward doesn't help my weepiness. They seem to have gained a genuine like and respect for each other.

**~MEB~**

Edward surprises me a number of times on my birthday. First with a sexy, incredibly satisfying wake up, then breakfast, shower sex and a picnic on the dog beach at sunset. It is so romantic. Everything is perfect; the food, the gift, Edward. He's so thoughtful. And the sex... it just keeps getting better. He's finally not holding back. He wants it, he goes for it. I like confident Edward.

**~MEB~**

I never knew how long it would take, but finally the day comes when the surveyor stakes the house is exciting. We stand off to the side, plans in hand, comparing what they're doing to rooms in the house. The more real it gets, the more excited we get.

Edward goes out with the guys that night while I meet the girls for drinks at the local bar. About half way through my first drink, Rose pulls out her phone.

"Have you ever seen these personal ads on CraigsList?" She says scrolling down her phone.

I laugh, remembering answering the ad from Edward. "Ya, you never know what you'll find."

"Look at this one," Rose says, handing Alice her phone.

Alice reads it, "So sweet." She hands the phone to me.

I start reading expecting some, SWF seeking ad, but instead I read.

**SWM, in love, seeking beautiful SWF with brown eyes and hair. She and her dog, Buddy have stolen my heart and I need it back. I need them. Meet me, tonight at seven pm, where our future begins.**

My eyes shoot to Rose and then Alice. They are smiling, their eyes glassy.

"What has he done?" I whisper. Scared, but excited.

"Go. Go get your man."

"But where?" I question.

"You can figure it out," they encourage.

I quickly gather my purse and head home. The only place I can see my future.

When I pull up, Edward is leaning against his jeep, one ankle crossed in front of the other. He's in jeans and a sweater, a single rose in his hand. He looks, hot.

"You figured it out," he smiles, kissing my lips and handing me the rose.

"You have a way with words," I joke. "What's up?"

"Follow me."

Taking my hand he leads me to the staked outline of our house. We arrive at a spot where a tent is set up. "Stand right here," he says turning me so I'm facing the wetlands leading to the ocean. "Do you know where this is?"

"I think it's the master bedroom or bathroom."

"Yep, this will be the view from our bedroom balcony."

"It's perfect," I admire. The sun is starting to fade over the horizon.

"It's perfect, because I get to share it with you." He says, hugging me from behind.

"Here. Look at the view through these," he says handing me a pair of binoculars.

I think it's fine without them, but do as he requests. I see the ocean, a crane flying, a few pelicans standing in the marsh, a squirrel and...

"Oh my god," I gasp. I think I see something.

Edward tenses behind me.

I look again, checking to see if I saw it correctly. It's a sign with the words, 'Marry me, Bella' written in shells and rocks, probably from the beach, our dog beach.

Before I can speak, the tears are falling; all I can do is nod.

"I love you, Bella. I want you forever. Please be my wife. Make this house a home."

I nod again. He releases me and walks in front of me. In his hand is the most unusual, yet beautiful ring. "It was my mom's. It was in the envelope with their marriage certificate. If you want something else, we can go look..."

I cut him off with a searing kiss. Hoping to convey how perfect and special him giving me his mother's ring is.

"I love it," I say against his lips. "It's perfect. You're perfect." Kiss. "How did I get so lucky?" To have you love me?" Kiss. "To have you show me how love should be." Kiss. "I love you, Edward. You are my future."

He chuckles. "I'm the lucky one. My life was gray before you. Now I see the most vibrant colors. I see, I hear, I feel, I love, so much more than I thought I deserved. You gave me the confidence to believe that I deserve happiness, love. You've made this all possible."

After our declarations and heated kisses he backs me into the tent where a massive air mattress is set up with blankets and pillows.

"I want to make love to my fiance in our bedroom," he says.

I giggle at that. "I can't think of anything I'd rather do... with my fiance."

Our lovemaking is slow and reverent, our eyes never leaving each other's. It's more than sexual; it's deeper, although it's very satisfying too. We cum together quietly, our bodies joined in the most pleasurable way. I will never get enough of this, of him.

We lay wrapped in each other's arms atop the makeshift bed. "Um, Edward. We haven't really talked about some things."

"What things?"

"Like kids, having kids."

He laughs, kissing my head. "Why do you think this house is so big? I want to have a family with you. I want to raise them in this house we've built."

"You've always seemed against having kids or at least hesitant."

"Before you, Bella, I couldn't imagine the life I have now. The future we have ahead of us. With you, I've seen everything. You are the only person I want to have any of this with. I want you to be the mother of my kids. I want them to have your eyes, your smile."

I kiss him. "I want them to have your kindness and capacity to give and love."

"And you're patience," he adds making us both laugh.

When our laughter dies out I push forward with what I've put a lot of thought into. "Edward," I hesitate. "Have you ever considered adopting?"

"Interesting that you mention it. It's been on my mind for a while, and if we agree, I'd like to adopt a child, and have biological children too, if it happens."

"A baby?"

He shakes his head. "Babies get adopted so easily. I want a child, someone who has lost their family."

"Maybe a five or six year old?"

He nods, deep in thought, of his loss, no doubt.

"Sounds perfect. I can't think of anyone more prepared to help a child like that than you. You have so much love to give. I feel so special that you've chosen me to receive that love." I place my hands on his cheeks and kiss him tenderly. "I love you, Edward. I can't wait to be your wife. To raise a family with you, here."

"You've made me so happy, Bella. I've seen our future together. It's happy and full of love and children."

"And animals," I add, thinking about our future, our love, but mainly of this amazing man.

"And animals." He pulls me close, so my head rests on his chest. We're quiet for a minute or two. He takes a deep breath, and his arms tighten around me before he speaks. "For the first time in my life, Bella, I believe. I believe in life, in love, in the future, but most importantly. I believe in myself."

**The End**

**A/N**

**sniffle, sniffle... I'm going to miss these two, and all of you of course.**

**I do plan to include an epi, but down the road a bit. So I'm hitting the complete button on this baby.**

**I hope you have me on author alert. I have a lot more tricks up my sleeve. If haven't read The Most Eligible Bachelor yet, please do. It's an easy read.**

**If all goes well, I will have a submission in the Taste of the Forbidden II contest. Here is the link. tastetheforbidden dot wordpress dot com/ are some amazing one shots to read and vote on. Voting starts next week.**

**Thank you again for all of your support and kindness. You all make writing fun!**

**Until next time... :)**


	55. Chapter 55

**Thanks once again to Dawn and Cejsmom for helping me out with this :)**

**Epilogue **

**BPOV**

"Edward. Will you please stop pacing."

He runs his hands through his messy hair and looks at me like I'm out of my mind, then proceeds to pace some more.

"Honey, I know everything will be okay." I rise from my chair, walking in front of him and rubbing his shoulders and neck. He sighs at my touch and drops his head forward.

"I know, Bella, it's just a deal breaker. You know?"

"I do know. But it is what it is. Try to think positive."

I convince him to sit with me, my hands still rubbing his neck. He relaxes slightly at my touch, but the tension flows off of him in waves. We wait for what seems like hours.

A throat clearing behind us, causes us both to jump from our seats and turn towards the sound. Doctor Banner clears his throat again and looks down at the open chart in his hand. "There are a few allergies to consider." He pauses and I want to shake the next sentence out of him. "But no animal allergies." He smiles like he just told us we won the lottery.

I throw myself into Edward's arms and he lifts me and spins me around, his face buried in the hair by my ear. "No pet allergies," he chants. When my feet hit the ground again both of our faces are moist and we're smiling at each other through blurry eyes.

Dr. Banner clears his throat again. "Do you want to hear what the allergies are?"

We both nod and try to focus on what he's saying through our enthusiasm.

"Nuts. Tree nuts to be specific. He had a small reaction to the scratch test, but these types of allergies tend to worsen with exposure. Before you take him home, I want to prescribe an Epipen and have you instructed on how to use it properly.

"No problem. Absolutely. Yes." We affirm at the same time.

"But no animal allergies?" Edward confirms.

"No animals."

"What next?" I ask.

"His social worker will be in touch with you as soon as she gets my results. And before you ask. I will walk these into her office myself if I have to." He says waving the chart in his hand with a chuckle.

"Thank you Dr. Banner," Edward says extending his hand.

When I thank him I give him a giant hug. He just delivered the best news to us. Our boy doesn't have any animal allergies. He's one step closer to coming home.

**~M~M~B~**

"Your paperwork appears to be in order. You've completed all of the requirements to make the home environment safe," she says never looking up from the papers in front of her on the desk. "This is a huge responsibility. You are taking in a child with tremendous needs. Needs that won't be ending anytime soon." She finally raises her eyes to meet ours, indifference clouds her expression.

"We are not 'taking in' anyone. We are foster-adopting a child, a human being. One we happen to already love and consider our child. I would appreciate it if you would speak with more compassion and understanding in the future," I say, my voice shaking from anger and frustration.

Edward squeezes my hand in support. "Not only that, no one has a better understanding of what he has been through and what he will continue to go through, than me. Than us," he adds.

United, we sit a little straighter, preparing for what may come next.

"I see situations like this every day. People who want a child so badly, they overlook the long term commitment of taking in a child with special needs. Once the novelty wears off, the burden becomes too much. Many of these families don't stay together. There is a very high divorce rate among couples who have adopted a child under similar circumstances."

"I can assure you that we are the exception to that. Bella and I know exactly what we are up against, as a couple and as a family." Edward takes a deep breath. "What happens next?"

"When he is ready to be released from the hospital, you take him home," she smiles, a real smile, not the tight lipped ones we've seen in the past.

"Really?"

"Yes," she pauses. "I must say I'm genuinely impressed with the two of you. I've been very hard on you, on this case," she waves her hand over the mound of papers on her desk. "This boy is special. He deserves loving parents, a family, a home. I'm sorry if I've come across as cold and unfeeling. I'm actually the opposite. First and foremost my job is to protect these children, not to coddle prospective foster or adoptive parents. My exterior has been known to chase away those that weren't fit to raise children like Anthony. I'm certain that placing him in your home is the right decision. With his biological parents deceased and no other relatives that we know of, the adoption process can begin immediately."

Edward and I sit speechless, stunned by the turn of events, the change in her demeanor towards us. Wordlessly, tears roll down my face. We've done it. We are going to be parents. Edward, sniffing at my right, rouses me from my shock. I turn to look at him and his face looks exactly like I feel. I burrow my face is his chest, "We did it. We have a son."

**~M~E~B~**

"Anthony, remember when Bella and I said we wanted you to come and live with us?" Edward asks as we sit on either side of him on his hospital bed.

He nods hesitantly. The white bandages around his head making his fearful brown eyes look even bigger and wider.

I reach out and touch his arm to comfort him. He doesn't flinch from my touch anymore; in fact he leans into it. In the weeks we've know him I fall a little more in love with this boy each time I'm with him. He still shies away from Edward, but Edward is patient. We know he will come around in time.

"Everything is set. When you're ready to leave the hospital we are taking you home, to live with us. Do you want that?"

He looks thoughtful for a second, a long second. "With all of the animals?"

His answer makes both of us laugh. "Yes, with all of the animals." I take the opportunity to gently hug him. The smiles on my boys' faces are enough to bring me to tears, but I won't cry. There have been enough tears in Anthony's young life.

We sit quietly after our initial announcement. We know he will have questions.

"Where will I sleep?"

"Our house is big. You'll have your own room that we can decorate anyway you want. But our bedroom is right next to yours. We will be there if you need anything at all," I assure him.

"I don't like the door closed," his voice laced with fear.

"Okay, doors open. No problem. I have some pictures on my phone. Do you want to see them?" Edward asks trying to focus on something positive.

He scrolls through countless photos of the construction and the finished project, as well as the animals; most of the animal photos are of Buddy and Booboo. The boys have their heads together. Anthony is close to Edward their arms almost touching. Father and son.

My mind wanders to the past year and a half, especially the last year. The beginning of our unconventional relationship, the house construction, our perfect wedding on the beach, Jasper and Alice's engagement, but most surprisingly Rose and Emmett's baby, that is due any day.

We didn't plan on starting the Foster/adoption process this soon into our marriage, but some things are meant to be. When Carlisle called and told us about a little boy who was flown into the Burn Unit at the hospital from a podunk town in Texas, we had to meet him. He'd been badly burned in an illegal meth lab explosion. One that was created and used by his parents who were killed in the blast. Anthony was cut up, but the worst were the burns on his torso and neck. Thankfully, his arms and face weren't marred. However, he has many years of surgeries to come, just like Edward had to go through. Burned skin doesn't stretch, so as he grows skin will have to be grafted onto the scarred areas.

Anthony knows his parents are dead. He knows they caused the blast that burned him. Not much gets past this six year old boy who seems much older than his years. In his young life he's witnessed, neglect, drug abuse, filth, poverty, hunger and lord knows what else. All I want to do is fill his days with the opposite, with love, happiness, caring.

"You have a silly smile, Bella," Anthony says, pulling me from my thoughts.

"I was thinking about how I can't wait to get you home with us. Any ideas for how to decorate your room?"

"Um, I like trains, and animals, and race cars, and baseball."

"I think we can work with that," I chuckle at his enthusiasm. "What are your favorite colors?"

The three of us sit and discuss room ideas for a while.

"We have a pool in the backyard too. Do you like the water? Do you know how to swim?"

His face lights up instantly, but just as fast sadness sets in. He shakes his head, his eyes closed tightly.

"What's up, Anthony?" Edward asks gently.

We give him a minute to respond, but when he doesn't I whisper, "You can talk to us about anything."

His glassy eyes peer up at me like he's looking for something. "I'm sick. I can't swim, or play, or anything."

"Anthony, you can do anything you want to do. In a few months your burns will be healed and you will be like a normal kid again. When you're ready Bell and I can teach you to swim"

"Really, I'll be normal again?"

"The scars from your burns don't make you different. You are still you. A cute, special kid. You'll just have to be more careful in the sun and when you come back to see the doctor for treatment you'll have to take it easy for a while afterwards," Edward explains.

Anthony still doesn't look convinced, "You and I aren't that different, Anthony. When we get home we'll have a man to man talk and I'll tell you about my scars."

Anthony's eyes widen, brows raised, but he doesn't ask any more questions. We stay until he falls asleep. One day closer to bringing him home.

**EPOV**

"What are you doing, honey?"

"Well, my brilliant wife suggested we get our house online and I just started the spa, heating it up so it will be ready when we get home," I say wagging my eyebrows. A dip in the water is not the only thought in my head.

"Oh, that sounds great. Today was... wonderful, but tiring," she sighs. "Did you notice how scared Anthony seemed when he mentioned closed doors?"

"You caught that too huh? I'm sure closed doors is just the first of many triggers we will come up against. I can't wait for him to meet Maggie. Family therapy will be good for him, I think," I say thinking back to my first sessions with her. It seems like a lifetime ago, but just yesterday.

"He's a lucky boy to have you," Bella coos sliding up against my side in the booth.

I pull her closer to me, kissing her forehead. "He's lucky to have us."

**~M~E~B~**

I'm changing out of my clothes but stop to admire my sexy wife sauntering by in her barely there bikini. "You go on outside. I'll get us something to drink and some towels," I offer. "That bikini is just for me to see, right?" She gives me a sexy smile but doesn't respond. I will have to clarify that only I should see her dressed in so little. No one else.

"Champagne?" She smiles up at me from the bubbly water.

"I think our day causes for a celebration don't you?" I set her towel on a nearby lounge chair, mine is wrapped around my waist, barely concealing the semi I've been sporting since I saw her walk past me a few minutes ago. I drop the towel, buck naked underneath. Something I would have never done a year ago. I'm much more comfortable in my skin now.

"You didn't tell me we were skinny dipping," she says eying me from head to toe and pausing in the middle.

"It was optional," I say nonchalantly, knowing she's joining me in nakedness as soon as physically possible. I set a chair cushion on the edge of the spa and set the glasses on the low table close enough to reach. I slowly enter the spa and walk directly to my beautiful wife. "As much as I love you in this bikini, I want it off." I reach behind her neck and untie the string holding it up. It falls slowly revealing the tops of her breasts. Better, but not enough.

I reach for our champagne glasses and hand one to her. "To us baby. To our family. To Anthony. And to enjoying our alone naked time as much as we can until we can't." We clink our glasses and sip the bubbly liquid.

"This is nice," Bella says, eyes closed her head resting on the edge of the spa.

"I think we can do better. Come sit on my lap," I say pulling her with my free hand so she is straddling my thighs. "That's much better." I reach around and untie the back of her bikini top. It loosens and floats away. "Beautiful," I say admiring her hardened nipples and bare skin. I pour some champagne down her chest, she shivers at the coldness, but my warm mouth is there to lap it up immediately, nipping, tongue swirling. Her hands go into my hair, grabbing and holding me to her breast. The sounds she makes spur me to continue. Soon she is rubbing her bikini covered center over my hard cock. I can't wait to be inside of her, always.

I stand lifting her with me and carry her to the cushion I had the foresight to put on the edge of the spa. I untie her bikini bottoms and pull them off before I set her on the cushion.

I kiss her firmly. "I want you. Here. Now."

"I love it when you take charge," she moans against my lips. With that I gently lay her on the cushion and open her up to me. My mouth finds her sweet, wet center without hesitation. Latching onto her clit with vigor. I bring her close to orgasm without penetrating her with my tongue or fingers. She's writhing at my ministrations. "Almost, ugh, I want you inside me," she nearly begs. I bring her to the edge once more before I stand, taking my cock in my hand and rubbing her with the leaking tip. "More," she pleads.

"You ready baby? Cuz I'm ready for you. You make me so hard. Your body, your noises."

Wrapping her legs around my waist I line my cock up and slam into her with a long hard stroke.

Making both of us groan in pleasure.

"So tight. Every time Bella. Every time. I'm not gonna last baby. You feel too good."

I pound into her with long strokes, angling up to hit her gspot. I move her legs until they are on one of my shoulders. The sight of my glistening cock going in and out of her is nearly my undoing. "Are you close? Ugh."

"Right there," she moans when I put one of her legs on my other shoulder. "Don't stop."

Every thrust brings me closer to the brink. I will myself to hold out until she comes. When I know I've got seconds left until I explode I reach down and rub her clit vigorously; causing her to cry out and clamp down on my cock. One more thrust and I'm growling through my orgasm, spilling inside her pulsing pussy.

After we ride out our orgasms I collapse on her, our bodies still connected. "I love you, Bella."

"I love you, Edward. So much."

**~M~E~B~**

"How do you like the house?" Bella asks stroking the hair of a very sleepy Anthony as we tuck him into his bed his first night with us. He's still bandaged up, but the risk of infection has passed. He can walk around, but his movements are stiff and slow. He has little movement in his arms, but his hands are fine. He will have physical therapy every day for the next few months to keep the burned skin as flexible as possible.

"It's great! Really big!" He shifts his legs under the covers to make room for Booboo who has joined Buddy on his bed.

"We will be right in the next room. We will leave the doors open. The only time we will close the door is to change our clothes. Okay?"

"If you need anything, just call us or come into our room. You are always welcome. This is your house now. Everything here belongs to you, too," Bella adds.

"Even Buddy and Booboo? Are they my dogs too?"

We nod as he smiles and shuffles his body to where he can reach to pet the dogs sprawled by his feet.

"They like you," I say patting the dogs. "They will look out for you, too." My hand accidently touches Anthony's and I freeze, expecting him to pull away, instead he places his hand closer to mine as we pet them together. I look to Bella, who sees what is happening, her eyes glassy with emotion as are mine.

We will break down his walls and help him. Together we will show him what love and family look like. He will want for nothing, especially the things that money can't buy.

"Good night, Anthony," Bella says, giving him a kiss on the forehead. "We're so glad you're here with us. You are a part of our family now."

He burrows into the fluffy pillow and gives Bella a grateful smile.

"Yep, Buddy. You are our son now. We are family. We will always be here for you, whatever you need." He turns his face towards me as I speak, his eyes questioning, looking for answers in mine. I hold his gaze hoping he sees the depth of what I'm saying and what I'm feeling.

He nods imperceptibly, and crooks his finger for me to come closer. I lean down thinking he has something to say, but surprises me with a kiss on the cheek. I try not to react too strongly, swallowing down the very large lump in my throat. "Thanks Buddy. It will mean a lot to me if you can trust me, trust us. We are here for you." I give his small hand a gentle squeeze and join Bella at the door.

"Lights on or off, or just dimmed a little?"

"Um, like that is good." He clears his throat nervously. "Thanks, um Bella, um Edward. I like it here."

We smile and nod, relieved that we've made it through the first day. The first of many easy and hard, happy and sad, but always loving and kind. Bella and I walk arm in arm to our room where we flop onto the bed fully dressed, not able to move from the emotional and mental exhaustion of the day.

We manage to snuggle in closer together.

"I love you, baby. You are a good mommy," I mumble sleepily. "If I wasn't so tired I'd want you under me and naked right now.

Bella giggles through her yawn, "Fat chance. Our naked times are going to have to be carefully orchestrated from here on out."

"Ug. You're right. No matter what happens, know I always want you, because I do and I will."

"Ditto, cute ab guy. I love you Edward. You are going to be a great daddy."

**A/N**

**Well, there is the Epi. Are you surprised they adopted so soon? If you want to hear more from these two just let me know. I will be writing something for the Fandom for Leukemia and Lymphoma Society fandom4lls . blogspot . com and I haven't decided yet what it will be. Another Epi from this story, an outtake from The Most Eligible Bachelor? Let me know what you think.**

**I will be participating in the Drabble War this weekend May 17-19. The whole story, Love 'Hurts' will be posted over those three days. Please check out all of the participating stories. Drabble War Forum is the group that all of the entries will be posted in.**

**Thanks for reading :) Always good to hear from you.**


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